It’s Time For The Funniest Tweets Of The Month, Here Are 50 Of The Best From December

Makes sense to me!

love people who own it.

Donald Trump. Won the election.

John, Paul, George, or Dingo?

Or twitch my nose 🧙‍♀️

this is great

2025 will be the year we get the surgery bill.

One of my pet hates: people standing in line for security, but waiting until they get to the front of the queue before considering what they need to do to get through.

Again, throwing the word 'autistic' and 'OCD' as if they're not serious-enough illnesses.

I always thank the Uber drivers for getting me home safely! :)

CTRL+Shift+T is your friend. I don't ask why you have it for two years, my job is fixing problems, not fixing disorganized people :D

Hahaha, that's actually amazing!

Thomas?

Even worse when they say, "bare with me," then keep their clothes on.

Specifically in the neigbours yard, when they are not looking.

Actually there are some great after dark exhibitions at museums, usually with wine!

Story of my life this one

Don't buy Shein! Please stop contributing to fast fashion!

I wondered why some have two phones...

This so much.

Reminds me of the very old one: "What's the matter, dear, you've hardly touched your sweets tonight" "Oh, I'm sorry my Sweet"

sbj

sbj

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

Considering the look in his eyes this is not a kitty to be messed with

I laughed so hard at this haha!

The unkown sequel of Robotron 2084! 😄

Glad you caught up 😊

Honestly though, like who tf else gonna pay them.

Don't just stand there tweeting! Go on the adventure of a lifetime!

It's not his body - it's just one of these picture cutouts where you stick your head through.

except on bored panda where having a disability means you now have to pay for dark mode. really great work guys, i mean isn't it everybody with sight problems dream to have to pay for something everybody else gets free. thanks guys, it really makes us feel part of the world when we get treated differently. i'm pretty sure if it wasn't an online business this would be a crime in most countries

Damn! I wish she was my grandma!

…..and don’t f it up

I kinda like it. I'm not sure I would want this in my garden, but... maybe...

My husband buys all my Christmas presents from Walgreens every year. And I get all of his at dollar stores. A few years ago we moved to an area that has no Walgreens so I assumed he'd just go to CVS. Nope. Drove an hour to a Walgreens. It's our tradition and I LOVE it.

And why are all the bath tubs going away?????!!!!!????? I travel a lot and I am seeing a trend that whether I am in a hotel or an air AIRBNB, most baths have been converted into all showers. UGGG!! I have joint issues and love to soak in a tub, so now I have to vigilant when I book a room. Just nonsense!!

Yeah, when I was in the military there was an expression someone was "UN-hot" as in when you are deployed on UN-missions there was not much to compete with.

He looks shorter than I remember

It is an intervention

My doc once lectured me how fit some of his 60-year old patients are. Well, I am 40, plenty of time to catch up

What a time we live in

I know, right? The whole time I'm worrying that someone might've stolen it.

No, I seem to have gone straight to, I'm too old for this shït I'm a 66 year old bat.

I hope not, I have enough

Try doing it in Australia when it’s something-stupid degrees hot outside and Santa’s surfing in at Bondi Beach.

Hate to break it to you, but a LOT of fitness regimens come out of combat training (and are very effective). And much of it can be soothing, as well

I'm in!

They say our dreams are the gateway to what is to happen - but I keep having dreams of lobsters appearing everywhere in the flat - under the duvet, in the bath, in the cabinet underneath the TV, so I don't really feel comfortable with what's in store for me....

Lily Robertson

Lily Robertson

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

Ridiculous. Linda set your daughter up to be queen of the entire HOA empire! Be thankful!

Fart 2025 19,99 €. Interested?

it's about fixing their phones/computer/tv

You should change completely every few days. A shower every now and again helps as well.

l like truth in advertising

I get weird cravings for things like bean sprouts or lettuce when I'm drunk (as well as hot chips)

Julie S

Julie S

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

They also ask your sexuality and how you identify.

And can I switch off the beep that my wife doesn't know?

I'm an only child lol

I rarely get the chance to wear anything other than my work uniform these days, you bet I'm going to dress up when I get the chance! I have been making the most of my time off this week and wearing a nice outfit every day, including not wearing the same skirt two days in a row. I haven't even been going out, and done washing sooner than usual, but has been good for my mental health.

I really want to be THAT FRIEND who UNPLUGS HIS LIFE SUPPORT even though the doctors say he will recover

My mom passed away in September and my dad still signed everything from both of them. I hope he does that forever.

I wouldn't know whether to laugh myself silly or slap him silly....

Charlie looks quite young, wait until he hits 30....that's when the two day hangovers kick in....

That one thing in there that ordinarily causes no issue, but now decides to stick up JUST enough..

I joked about my dad being able to do the stereotypical Aussie pedestal fan as a Christmas tree when he divorced my mum, but he still put a tree up every year. Though these days if we don't spend the day at his/my place he puts up a smaller one even though I'm fine if we don't bother. I caught him listening to Christmas songs today too...

True story: On state TV, on Christmas, Vladimir Putin boasted of having shot down and killed Santa Claus whom he called a "Western invader."

I would have thought that the nuns would have beaten the ginger out of you by 11.

My parents house is always hot as hell!

I was once in a bar with a friend at closing time. We were the only ones in there. The bartender told us he was going home and we could stay if we wanted to. Then he left with us still sitting at the bar.

Of course your pay will be 15 mins short.