30 Of The Funniest And Most Relatable Parenting Tweets Of The Month, October Edition

You did the Lord's work lol.

And the Joke of the year award goes to...

Been there many times. Just hearing the whisper of "hello daddy" makes me jump.

I'm pretty sure the doggy had style

Well, ain’t that emergency?

Better than xylophone. You can also leave the book at their house, “so that they will always have it at hand to play with your child”

Was the cookie literally awesome too?

Then slightly presses her collar: Scotty, beam me up.

honestly i would want the crape

My youngest had a blue spoon. That spoon was god, and woe to he who could not produce the spoon when demanded.

There are worse role models to have than immortal, child-stealing witches.

Ah, but that's the beauty of instant ramen. You can eat it even if you're tired of it. You can eat it when you're so sick of it that you think you'll be sick if you have to choke down another bowlful. You can eat it when you're so fed up with ramen that you don't even bother cooking it anymore and just crunch up the freeze-dried noodles with seasoning sprinkled on top like really weird snack chips. When there's nothing else to eat, you can always eat instant ramen.

Technically, it could be another way of saying “I don’t want to see you anymore”. Just sayin’

Even worse is when you have to hold the booger to stop them rubbing it on passing people 🤢

The commercials for playdoh sets always have all the colors mixed and my husband doesn't understand why it makes me so mad

And a comic book nerd was born, welcome to the family little bro.

Is it because you suddenly HAD TO water your avocado plant and one hour later, when you come back, it would be too late?

*salutes* I wish you well

Reminds me of something, cant' remember it..

Ouch 😭

Did you make it though?

Yes my child. Close. Very close.

BLUEY IS THE BEST

Depends if you have a morning bird or night owl as a child, I am a night owl and will stay up really late but sleep till 10, my brother will go to bed at 9 every night and wake up at 6

Yup

But aren’t cats always in? They’re a fashion staple. 😺

I'd extend that to anything said between 12:01am and 11:59pm!

Solid move dad - glitter never dies!

Be free, be nakee!!!

I find that more sad than funny.

The other 40% is realising that you sound exactly like your own Mother ...

I can not upvote this enough. Also, mental health Days 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

My sister was kind and she fed me some of her food 😊

LOL... nothing like hearing you own words come out of your child. Edited to correct my typo. TYSM, le_smug_froge :D

To be fair, children are cheaper to replace.

Also me 🙋🏼‍♀️

Fair is ... fair!

And holding off on telling them about said activity until it is immanent, so as to not hear repetitive questions about it for the next 10 weeks

or 'Why did you paint the dogs' toe nails pink?'

Does that coworker also grab your face with sticky fingers if your attention starts to wander and climb on your lap whenever you sit down?

Just call it "Computer Legos"... it will derail the entire story

Lmao

The fact you have an entire shelf in your fridge dedicated to butter is just......WOW

Off the table + not in the cards = off the cards. Always show your work.

Same

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Yes I know the feeling. My husband is aways saying why can we never have nice things.......because we have kids. I love them though....

The missing word of the day is... lady dog!

also over the shoulder boulder holder!

I can't .. if it's funny I will go down with that ship laughing

I mean, I would rather have a paper cut than have my eye cut out.

And it’s prequel, “can you please just put pants on?”

Living with kids and dogs ..this is the story of my life ...

How about having a yowling cat thrown on your head .. that works too -.-

Had he been a girl, he couldn't have put even one in his pocket.

They just don't make 'em like they used to

well where is it

BURN!!!!

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Lol I read bears 😂

Flapjack.

I tune my students' harps before they have recitals, so at least their strings are in tune, whatever strings they happen to pluck. But, oh, those poor teachers and parents of fledgling violinists and drummers!

Dinosaur character actor is a possibility. Or youtube dinosaur personality.

That's the best way to eat a taco salad.

My aunt used to call it "using the Force" to get a drink from the kitchen or opening the door for the dog. We were the Force. I need my nieces and nephews to watch Star Wars so that I, too, can be a Jedi Master and "use the Force."

teachers are cool