40 Times Kids Delivered A Story In Their Own Words Which Resulted In Awkward And Hilarious Misunderstandings

Which is the objective truth!

technically the truth, right?

I casually mentioned once that my dads been inside every prison in the state. He’s a government building inspector.

Oh... oh

Yep. That's church. I don't see the problem with this one.

IT'S A MIRACLE!!

The child did not lie

Hairpiece

TIL there is an instrument called a Vibraslap.

She is, in fact, a dealer.

Ah, I am too!

who complains about lasagna though seriously

Good thing it wasn't a therapist... "Mom, the rapist is on the phone."

And the prayer worked (well, you did come home, after all)!

Deuce Bigalow: Principle Gigolo... XP

Vamos a bailar 🎶

Guys, guys, grown-up is the word. He watches grown-up movies.

LOL

One more reason to not leave kids in the car, EVER.

As a mandated reporter (and, yes I am. I work with foster youth) it is our responsibility to get the facts before we call cps. It's not only important for the case (if there is one) but also so the authorities don't get called out unnecessarily.

hahaha... 😅

There's some naughty understory there ;)

*sound of CPS knocking at the door*

Chefs will now be referred to as Cookies

Did he ... or just had to retake class over and over for 28 years.....

The surgeon went in for the lobotomy and came out empty handed.

2 out of 3.... still passed

I wanted Herbie myself.

VPN is vocational practical nurse, with the least amount of schooling. LPN is licensed practical nurse, and RN is registered nurse, with the longest amount of schooling. Then there's a nurse practitioner, who is closer to a doctor and can actually prescribe medication. A nurse can also get a PHD.

I can't even imagine!

Wouldn't the adults be able to tell that, given that this happened in a grocery store with a seafood department, the child meant crabs as in the food, not the other kind (which the child obviously has no idea what they are or that there is a double meaning to the phrase "I've got crabs" or "my mom has crabs!!")? Context clues presumably dictate that it isn't the other kind of crabs.

Well, technically I drink and drive too. Water, energy drinks, coffee etc XP

Good for you! “If the police police the people, then who polices the police?”

Hey hey, so does mine! (6 feet under)

I could just be paranoid but what if someone broke out of prison and decided to attack his guard's family? Just sayin'... across the street from a prison is NOT a good house location for a family...

LOL

Pfff, certainly because taking out brains is obviously the best part of any neurosurgical case!

One of the kindergartens in my city had a teacher note out some time back: "Don't believe ever word your kid tells you about our kindergarten and we promise we will not believe every word your kid tells us about you"

Like the daycare wouldn't know that a 3-year-old doesn't have the best listening/comprehension skills and would likely misunderstand the name Indiana? Wouldn't the parents tell the daycare what they do for a living (not that they have to, but to specify what their work hours are) so that the daycare would know why that parent wasn't picking the kid up?

How do kids come up with this stuff?

Why is Jonas staying with mom when dad is away, tho'?

They were not wrong.

Okay, Sign me up for the d**k show 🤣😂

I bet you had a few extra guests.

Why would you be worried if a kid wants to be a chameleon? Let them be! People worry too much and stifle kids' imaginations WAY too much these days. He'll learn in time! But for now, LET HIM BE A KID!!!

are you even allowed to take a buncha samples home. I think pops was makin a lil side dough

I once was with my friends and we were out of clean cups, so I used a nice wine glass to put lemonade into. I offered some to my friends little six year old brother who had been staring at the lemonade for quite a while. The next day my friend informed me that her brother told her parents I "offered him a sip of the beer I was drinking" ... We are 17 to make matters worse

GirlFriday

GirlFriday

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I love this one. When my niece was four, she told me that aunt Dee shot her in the leg and gave her ice cream to keep her quiet. I was like, "at least you got ice cream." I told Aunt Dee about it (Dee is a doctor - the OBGYN mentioned in another post) and she was working at a vaccine clinic. After the vaccinations, the children got ice pops/popsicles/freezies (whatever you call them in your area).

Well, He's not wrong.

I mean she said what she meant!

Now, with that one, the truth is just as rare.

Don't know what makes the most money tho

I admit I didn’t get the connection between UConn and Alaska at first… I had to say “UConn” out loud before I realized… Yukon XD

I need more information

Well he could have been

I have been asked several times if I would do the Graveyard shift.. My husband hates me working from 3 - 11pm, he would not consider letting me work 11 - 7am.

Well I didn't but will do now.... stupid little %@&@

LOL

But in all seriousness, a harmful metaphor.

Huh?

I think I'd prefer people thought I had ticks