‘Ends Humour’: 50 Spot-On Posts That May Leave You Chuckling At The Ridiculousness Of It All (New Pics)

I go with the one who doesn't hurl personal insults at the other like "snowflake".

And take medical leave if you need it. Your health is far more important than their "deadlines".

I think it's called empathy.

It’s the same with the ATM. Unreturned love.

I am 58ish and I have often thought about doing this exact same thing. Buy me a nice mobile home, find me a well and stock up on non-perishables so I don't have to go to town to see people. Just me and my dogs enjoying life!

Some people just want to be bothered. Had a work colleague who complained that I always had to say hi in the mornings and was oh so cheery and fake. I stopped, then it was rude biatch can't even take a moment to be polite to people, can't even say hi.

In my comfy pants!

Little tiny acts, and words, of kindness make such a difference. I'd had a terrible morning in hospital, and was running to catch a bus. When I reached the bus, I was so flustered I couldn't find anything. The driver simply looked at me, smiled and said, "Go sit down. Take a moment. You can pay at the next stop." There was just the right amount of kindness and empathy.

When I would go to nightclubs mostly to dance, I would give the bartender a $20 bill (this was the late 80s-early 90s) and tell him to just give me ginger ale in a beer glass please and no alcohol as it would not mix well with my meds. So when someone would offer to buy me a drink, he would charge them for the beer but hand me a ginger ale "straight up" in a beer glass and no one knew. Oh and all sodas were free lol

I am creeping up to being considered old but I sit outside to people watch and laugh at the stupid ones lol

This is why my phone is on vibrate. It's kind of in between.

Yes, that's the way the circulatory system works.

Serendipity.

My O My

My O My

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Don't forget the day to do chores

And I sang the s**t out of them all 10 times!!!

sbj

sbj

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I found out it gets worse

Right?! They always seem the most unhappy people too. It's upsettingly sad they haven't done whatever work they need to do to feel better (and therefore, hopefully, lose the need to be mean).

In the words of a wise young man: I see extras, they’re everywhere…

48 hrs...some are advertising 72 hrs, trusting that nobody will ever rely on that.

This is why people yearn so heavily for the 90s. We had new exciting technology but it hadn't taken over our entire lives yet

Being an adult sucks sometimes.

It's a relationship not a prison, if your SO thinks they have to give you permission to do something LEAVE.

The anger is real too. First at the company for the "setup" they trap you in with this being their hope. Then at yourself for forgetting to cancel. Life tip: many free trials will continue through their term even if you cancel them immediately. If they don't, immediately put a reminder on your phone's calendar to cancel the trial 3-5 days before it expires.

My dad blows kisses

Let's go! I wanna learn random s**t too

It's not really their fault. They were raised by an alcoholic father, and a mother who left two months before they were born.

I can feel this picture

As long as it is not literal…

Especially if they write it down, on the restraining orders 🤣

It's often helpful to have a default 'respect' setting somewhere in the positive numbers, though

Doing it right now 😓

You're so noisy...

I got accused of snitching at work, but I don't think I did. Worked at a coffee shop and I saw one of the other baristas in the back huffing cans of whipped cream (sucking the gases out of the can to get buzzed). I initially didn't say anything, if he wanted to be an idiot, be an idiot, only person he's harming is himself. But boss caught on to how quickly we were going through whipped cream and found the guys stash of empty cans on top of the industrial fridge while cleaning. Why the guy didn't just throw them away is beyond me. Everyone stayed quiet, until the boss said he was just going to fire the four new recruits as he assumed it was a newish problem he figured it must be someone in the new staff. Well this made me sick, it would be so unfair for those people to lose their jobs and idiot boy gets away. So I told, idiot boy said I was a snitch, I think I morally did the right thing.

But I live alone. Oh.

Food.

I have always provided a 'sorry, my Mam says no' service to my children. If they didn't want to do something, I was happy to be the excuse. There's been one occasion when it was 'Sorry, my wife is unwell, I need to be at home.'

Bill

Bill

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Im a little concerned the northern lights are extending so far south now. Less magnetic field? More solar activity? Our entire planet is out of control, from the ppl who run it to the universal level. Or maybe Im just paranoid and should shut up and enjoy the show. idk

You're lucky because my intuition is a dumbass

Deep down I know everybody despises me, but that might be my social anxiety talking

"Hit this", said Olympia Dukakis, shoving Shirley Maclaine forward.

It shows that you were actually listening to what they were saying

Nature is quite violent in itself.

You can but you have to be strategic about it

IDK.... It's been years

Google calendar and then repeated on my yearly paper diary and then the break-up items on daily to-do list that cannot be entirely written on diary. I cannot function without these.

Glix Drap

Glix Drap

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So is losing your jewels.

I'm as ugly as sin but I've been told I walk like a model 💖🤪

Is that the sandalwood loyalty or the lavender loyalty? Please answer quickly, I'm at the scent counter.

I’m the complete opposite: I’m cool in groups, but I’m so awkward 1 on 1

Not everything is a sign, but okay.

I could do the Olympics better than these amateur Olympians!

Nothing wrong with walks, but maybe ration the solo ones ?

Or you let them believe they're always right.

😭😭😭

And I hate these kind of people who are absent in life but keep lurking at my stories.

It's both odd and weirdly comforting that we use terminology from old technology on its updated versions even though the terminology itself is now invalid. Hang up the phone / dial a number / roll down the window / camera roll / rewind the movie.....

You would be a good Dom.

Ah, gatekeeping. Also this has question been around for as long as I can remember. If you're going to gatekeep football at least mix it up a bit. Ask for the exact number of tears Paul Gascoigne shed in 1990 for example.

I once knew a couple who, whenever one of them put on lip balm, they'd pass it to the other person, and joke about a "long distance kiss".

I got a boat. It took a while till the High Street was flooded enough to take, it, but it was worth it. Turns out parking tickets wash right off

Just obey Micawber's rule, and you'll be OK

10pm bedtime is good self care though. Being chronically sleep-deprived can lead to a shorter lifespan and potentially more illness. Wish I had the discipline honestly as I'm always late to bed.

That is how I did it and I Aced every exam too!

Who & who?

And work love can only get you in trouble.

Glix Drap

Glix Drap

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Let's hope the judge isn't in his George Jefferies era.