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Fiancé Mad After Learning Of Lady’s Past Hysterectomy, Accuses Her Of Hiding Key Info
Sometimes life hands you a story so awkward you can’t decide whether to laugh, cry, or schedule a therapy session. Imagine sitting down for an engagement lunch with your mom and fiancé, only for him to joke that he “impregnated” you despite knowing from day one that pregnancy was impossible.
Yes, this was the exact joke that today’s Original Poster’s (OP) fiancé told her mother to announce their engagement. However, this was not the problem as everyone laughed it off. It was the revelation that followed and the fact it left the OP wondering if she was a jerk.
More info: Reddit
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Sometimes, what feels like a small detail to one person can carry enormous weight for someone else
Image credits: bondvit90 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author, who had a hysterectomy years ago due to adenomyosis, met her fiancé and told him from the start that she was sterile and childfree
Image credits: throwaway_Ifup
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They got engaged and invited her mom to lunch to share the news, during which the fiancé jokingly claimed he had impregnated her
Image credits: throwaway_Ifup
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her mom mentioned the past hysterectomy, revealing that the fiancé had never heard the full medical detail, which led him to confront her afterward
Image credits: throwaway_Ifup
A disagreement erupted over whether she should have disclosed the surgery, with her feeling she shared the relevant information and him feeling hurt over the perceived secrecy
Before everything else, the OP had struggled with adenomyosis which is a painful condition where the uterine lining grows into the uterine wall. For the OP, a hysterectomy was the only viable solution and she went through with it due to the debilitating pain as well as the fact that she never wanted kids.
So when the OP met her fiancé, she told him she was sterile right from the start. Thankfully, he was childfree too, and together they built a relationship on the same page. They eventually got engaged, and the future looked straightforward until they had to announce the engagement to the OP’s mother.
Known to be a prankster, the OP’s fiancé joked that he’d gotten the OP pregnant to which her mother laughed and said that would happen if she either got rich or “got a new uterus”. Confused, the fiancé asked what her mother was referring to, and that was when her mother referenced the surgery she’d had earlier. Even though the engagement celebration continued, the tension didn’t disappear.
After the lunch, the fiancé asked her why she’d never told him about the surgery, but the OP maintained that she’d given him the relevant information years ago about her sterility. He, on the other hand, stated that it was all about “principle”, believing that if she could hide such major information from him, she could hide other things from him.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Adenomyosis can cause severe pelvic pain that significantly affects daily life. Yale Medicine explain that while medications are often the first line of treatment, they do not always provide sufficient relief. In such cases, surgical interventions may be considered, and that the choice of treatment generally depends on both the intensity of symptoms and the patient’s reproductive goals.
Once recovery is complete, Healthline Media reports that the surgery fades from daily thought, and that the procedure often becomes a resolved chapter of life, with individuals returning to normal routines and viewing the experience as a non-issue. This perspective helps explain why the OP did not think to bring up the details of her surgery again.
At the same time, Psychology Today notes that couples can assign very different emotional weight to the same information, shaped by unique emotional experiences and upbringing. For example, one partner may expect full transparency, while the other may hold back details to avoid discomfort or conflict, which can lead to misunderstandings or feelings of betrayal.
In this case, the tension between the OP and her fiancé highlights these dynamics. While she considered the medical details irrelevant once she disclosed her sterility, he interpreted the omission as a potential breach of trust. Resolving such conflicts, however, requires communication, understanding of differing disclosure expectations, and building trust while respecting each other’s perspectives.
Netizens felt the fiancé had no right to be upset since he already knew the OP couldn’t have children and never bothered to ask for details. They pointed out that she had disclosed the key information early on, and it was his responsibility to ask follow-up questions if the “why” mattered to him.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the OP should have shared the full medical details, or was what she told him enough? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens argued that the real red flag wasn’t her forgotten surgery, but his reaction and the inappropriate prank that triggered the whole situation
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What do you think ?
greenideas 2 weeks ago
Part of me thinks he's pissed off about it because it ruined his not-in-the-weird-way prank.
sturmwesen 2 weeks ago
how would it be relevant information? she can't have kids (the old fashioned way) and both don't want any.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
He never asked a follow up question when she said we don't need to use birth control?!? I find that hard to believe, but if he never asked, there's only a few possibilities, and he clearly didn't care which one was the case, so it's a bit rich complaining that he was told Also I can't imagine an emergency situation where this info would be necessary.
marianne eliza 1 week ago
Had a hysterectomy in my early 40's. Ovaries were examined and left in. After 5 years of perimenopause, I wished I could go back and have them take the ovaries too. Better to be thrown into menopause in one fell swoop than those 5 years of hell.
Betsy S 1 week ago
Welcome to my 26 yrs of hot flashes. I had a total and it threw me right into menopause as expected. But I thought I'd just go through it and get it overwith. NOPE! Here I am, 26 yrs later, still getting hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, the whole nine yards. IF your menopause only lasts 5 yrs, you are VERY fortunate indeed.
Load More Replies...
Roni Stone 1 week ago
I had a hysterectomy four years ago. I had breast cancer surgery two years ago. I completely forget about both of those surgeries. Total blank for the most part, since they are behind me and really don't impact my life at all now. I will talk to women from time to time about menopause, which I went through pre-hysterectomy, and completely forget to mention my hysterectomy. I even forget about strokes I've had since they weren't catastrophic. Surgeries/med conditions fall into that long- term, seldom retrieved part of memories sometimes. I see no huge conspiracy or other reason for OP to feel guilty. Compartmentalizing is simply the way our brains work,
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
I think it's weird she told him she was sterile and he didn't ask why. I have a friend who swore she was sterile. 3 babies later we're pretty sure she's not. Some people think they're sterile for stupid reasons. Like, "My ex never got me pregnant and we were together 7 years." You really need to know why someone thinks they're sterile.
TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 1 week ago
She conveyed the required info: no babies for her. She is under no obligation to tell him why. Anyone saying otherwise is a d**n idiot
Pamela Blue 1 week ago
The fact that he got so angry when he found out tells me that he thought he could impregnate you anyway, against your wishes (or change your mind about it.) I would have a serious sit-down about this, because I don't think he understood what sterile meant, and this may be a real sticking point in your marriage.
Deborah B 1 week ago
Okay, him caring about the uterus not being there is weird. He knows she's sterile and childfree. What, did he think she'd change her mind and they'd get an egg donor and have his babies? If they discussed their medical histories and/or he asked about past surgeries or what caused her sterility, then yeah, you'd expect her to mention it. Otherwise, how often do you discuss medical issues that were resolved years ago?
greenideas 2 weeks ago
Part of me thinks he's pissed off about it because it ruined his not-in-the-weird-way prank.
sturmwesen 2 weeks ago
how would it be relevant information? she can't have kids (the old fashioned way) and both don't want any.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
He never asked a follow up question when she said we don't need to use birth control?!? I find that hard to believe, but if he never asked, there's only a few possibilities, and he clearly didn't care which one was the case, so it's a bit rich complaining that he was told Also I can't imagine an emergency situation where this info would be necessary.
marianne eliza 1 week ago
Had a hysterectomy in my early 40's. Ovaries were examined and left in. After 5 years of perimenopause, I wished I could go back and have them take the ovaries too. Better to be thrown into menopause in one fell swoop than those 5 years of hell.
Betsy S 1 week ago
Welcome to my 26 yrs of hot flashes. I had a total and it threw me right into menopause as expected. But I thought I'd just go through it and get it overwith. NOPE! Here I am, 26 yrs later, still getting hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, the whole nine yards. IF your menopause only lasts 5 yrs, you are VERY fortunate indeed.
Load More Replies... Roni Stone 1 week ago
I had a hysterectomy four years ago. I had breast cancer surgery two years ago. I completely forget about both of those surgeries. Total blank for the most part, since they are behind me and really don't impact my life at all now. I will talk to women from time to time about menopause, which I went through pre-hysterectomy, and completely forget to mention my hysterectomy. I even forget about strokes I've had since they weren't catastrophic. Surgeries/med conditions fall into that long- term, seldom retrieved part of memories sometimes. I see no huge conspiracy or other reason for OP to feel guilty. Compartmentalizing is simply the way our brains work,
Tyranamar Seuss 1 week ago
I think it's weird she told him she was sterile and he didn't ask why. I have a friend who swore she was sterile. 3 babies later we're pretty sure she's not. Some people think they're sterile for stupid reasons. Like, "My ex never got me pregnant and we were together 7 years." You really need to know why someone thinks they're sterile.
TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 1 week ago
She conveyed the required info: no babies for her. She is under no obligation to tell him why. Anyone saying otherwise is a d**n idiot
Pamela Blue 1 week ago
The fact that he got so angry when he found out tells me that he thought he could impregnate you anyway, against your wishes (or change your mind about it.) I would have a serious sit-down about this, because I don't think he understood what sterile meant, and this may be a real sticking point in your marriage.
Deborah B 1 week ago
Okay, him caring about the uterus not being there is weird. He knows she's sterile and childfree. What, did he think she'd change her mind and they'd get an egg donor and have his babies? If they discussed their medical histories and/or he asked about past surgeries or what caused her sterility, then yeah, you'd expect her to mention it. Otherwise, how often do you discuss medical issues that were resolved years ago?
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