Couple having a tense conversation on a couch, illustrating conflict on first Motheru2019s Day between man and wife.

Man Ruins The First Mother’s Day For Wife, She Gives Him The Same Energy For Father’s Day

Interview With Author

Resolving conflict in a relationship is often hard, but it really has to be done. How a couple actually handles these problems is what determines if their relationship is going to last, because, unfortunately, quite often some partners just don’t understand how to prioritize their other half.

A woman asked the internet for advice after a disagreement with her husband over celebrating fathers day. When he decided to ignore her on mother’s day, she felt it was fair to do the same to him. We also got in touch with the wife and mom who shared the post and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions.

Treating your partner the way they treat you is only fair

Man holding baby in a bright room, symbolizing family and emotions around Mother's Day hurt and relationships.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

But one woman wondered if she was wrong to not plan anything for fathers day

Man skips wife’s first Mother’s Day celebration to spend time with his mom, causing hurt and family tension.

Man choosing to spend Mother’s Day with his mom instead of wife on her first Mother’s Day, causing hurt feelings.

Text excerpt about husband's involvement on wife's first Mother's Day, highlighting family activities and emotions.

Text on screen describing timing plans to visit the zoo focusing on awake time and naps scheduling.

Text explaining celebrating first Mothers Day with mom and mother-in-law including gifts and brunch plans as grandparents.

Text about a man arranging Mother’s Day celebration plans with his mom and mother-in-law to avoid confusion.

Text passage about a husband spending time with his mom instead of wife on her first Mother’s Day, causing hurt feelings.

Man skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom after mother-in-law requests help early morning.

Man talking on phone while holding toddler by car, depicting tension around skipping wife’s first Mothers Day celebration.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his own mom.

Man explains his frustration as husband skips wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom instead.

Text excerpt about husband skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, causing hurt feelings.

Text excerpt about a man skipping his wife's first Mother's Day to spend time with his mom while feeding their baby.

Text message conversation showing a husband explaining delay while skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to visit his mom.

Text excerpt explaining a man missing his wife’s first Mothers Day to spend time with his mom, causing upset feelings.

Man skips wife’s first Mother’s Day to hang out with his mom, feeling hurt and choosing to stay home instead.

Text about man skipping wife's first Mother's Day to spend time with his mom, causing hurt feelings and tension.

Man and woman having a tense argument on sofa, highlighting hurt feelings and relationship conflict about Mother's Day plans.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Text message describing tension with mother-in-law after skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Text message from wife explaining her husband apologizing after skipping her first Mother's Day to spend time with his mom.

Text on a white background discussing the difficulty of setting boundaries with a mother and feelings around a first Mother’s Day.

Text excerpt describing a man choosing to spend time with his mom, missing his wife’s first Mother’s Day.

Text excerpt about man spending Mother's Day with his mom grilling and playing on the deck instead of wife.

Text message discussing a man spending Mother's Day with his mom instead of his wife on her first Mother's Day.

Text about a man feeling hurt and prioritizing his mom’s feelings over his wife on Mother’s Day, causing family tension.

Wife expresses frustration as husband skips her first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, causing tension in marriage.

Image credits: CounterNecessary2597

She did get some suggestions from the internet

Woman in kitchen holding a pink phone and cup, reflecting on a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day celebration.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. Firstly, we did want to know if there was any follow-up. “No real updates. Husband and I are both looking for individual therapists as well as a couples therapist and we’re both trying to take a step back from the situation with his parents and trying to be more objective and open to each other’s perspective.”

“I think a lot of people were angry on my behalf about what my husband did on Mother’s Day. A lot of them have been in similar situations or have been in relationships where they were not prioritized. That said, I think you need to be careful about upvotes on reddit. Reddit is very much an echo chamber,” she shared.

“I have actually received a lot of really amazing feedback. And a lot of it actually came from people who downvoted me or criticized me. I think most of the critical feedback fell into these categories:

• That my list of boundaries was extreme and that I’m setting my husband up for failure so I can divorce him

• Concern that I’m just like my MIL and my husband essentially married someone just like his mother

• That I’m overreacting and making a big deal over everything

• That I’m coercing my husband into changing his behavior and he’ll just end up resenting me.”

Sometimes it can be good to get a second opinion

Two women on a gray couch having a serious conversation, reflecting feelings of hurt and tension on Mother's Day.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

However, she still found the online discussion useful. And honestly, it’s all great feedback, I appreciate people taking the time to comment even if they were critical of me. Those are the ones that I think were most helpful. I came at this from a place of anger and frustration, and I think that shows in how I approached it with my husband. But there are absolutely better ways to have approached this. I am being truthful when I say that I will divorce if things don’t change – but instead of coming out with a list of things and saying do this or I’m divorcing you, I could have approached it from the perspective of being in a partnership, which we are. I could have said something like “When these things happen it really makes me feel unvalued as a and disrespected as a partner and I’m afraid of how it will affect our marriage in the long term”. I think had I treated this as a problem we can address as a team it could have been something my husband WANTED to work on as opposed to something he felt like he HAD TO do,” she shared with Bored Panda.

“The other thing someone pointed out is that I’m not necessarily upset about stuff like how often his parents call or how often he visits them. What I’m really upset about is how that stuff affects us and our plans. Like, I think it’s weird his mom called so much while we were on our honeymoon because my parents aren’t that way. But if they had called at a different time, like when I was in the shower or when we weren’t doing anything else then maybe it wouldn’t have been a big deal. What made it so frustrating is it took away from the time we were trying to spend with each other and interfered with activities we were trying to do.” If you wanted to know what happened after this first part, you’re in luck, as she later made an update that can be found below.

Some folks wanted more details

Screenshot of an online discussion about a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Reddit conversation discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Reddit comments discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to hang out with his mom and family conflicts.

Many thought she was not at all to blame

Reddit conversation about a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom instead.

Reddit conversation showing a man admitting he’s still hurt after skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day for his mom.

Man skips wife’s first Mother’s Day to hang out with mom highlighting family conflict and emotional challenges.

Man skips wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom causing family tension and hurt feelings.

Comment from Reddit user Hot_Aside_4637 discussing husband and mother-in-law issues in a relationship context.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Text discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom and family boundaries advice.

Reddit comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom instead.

Reddit comment discussing husband skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day, highlighting hurt feelings and family resentment.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising to document snippy comments and maintain a united front with husband in a relationship dispute.

Screenshot of a forum comment criticizing a husband for skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Comment discussing a man hurt for skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Commenter praises a man for skipping wife's Mother's Day to spend time with his mom, showing family loyalty.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to hang out with his mom, sharing advice and feelings.

Reddit comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, highlighting family conflict.

Comment criticizing a husband’s priorities for skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing Mother's Day and family dynamics related to a man skipping his wife's first Mother's Day.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Reddit comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, labeled NTA.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to hang out with his mom, with advice on sharing plans.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment reading "NTA... i LOVE this," expressing support in a discussion about Mother's Day issues.

Comment criticizing a husband who skips his wife's first Mother's Day to spend time with his mom, calling him weak.

Comment criticizing a man who skips his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mother instead.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom and relationship issues.

Reddit comment advising a wife on emotional labor and relationship counseling after husband skips her first Mother’s Day.

Others thought they were not handling the situation well

Man upset after skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, causing hurt feelings and tension.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, focusing on boundaries and communication.

A handful thought she was being unreasonable

Reddit advice on emotional boundaries after man skips wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, highlighting relationship conflict.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Comment discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, expressing hurt feelings.

Comment on Reddit discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Comment from PuzzleheadedLaw5997 criticizing communication skills and predicting divorce in an online discussion thread.

Later she shared an update

Young couple in serious conversation at home, reflecting the conflict of skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day for his mom.

Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

Text update post about a man skipping his wife’s first Mothers Day to spend time with his mom.

Husband upset wife on first Mother’s Day by skipping celebration to spend time with his mom, causing hurt feelings.

Text excerpt about a man feeling guilty for skipping his wife’s first Mother's Day to visit his mom under pressure.

Text excerpt about a man skipping his wife's first Mother's Day, highlighting feelings of hurt and relationship tension.

Text excerpt discussing ongoing family tension and hurt feelings involving a man and his mom over years leading up to Mother's Day.

Text excerpt about a man’s honeymoon experience highlighting frequent daily calls from his wife.

Text excerpt describing a man’s mother overstepping boundaries during his wife’s pregnancy and early motherhood experience.

Text excerpt about a man feeling hurt after skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Text about a man prioritizing his mother over his wife on Mother's Day, causing relationship struggles.

Man sitting alone looking upset, reflecting on skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Text discussing relationship boundaries with parents, highlighting abandonment of plans for his parents on Mother's Day.

Man and his mom happily preparing food together outdoors, highlighting still just hurt and Mother's Day conflict.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt discussing boundaries about visiting and plans between a man, his wife, and his parents on Mother’s Day.

Text discussing relationship boundaries about making plans with parents and partners, reflecting on Mother's Day conflict issues.

Text discussing holiday celebrations at home and conflict over one’s mother-in-law planning the son’s first birthday.

Text excerpt discussing a man focusing on alternating holidays between parents and avoiding constant texting during visits.

Text on a white background about not oversharing with mother-in-law regarding finances, health, or vacation plans.

Text excerpt discussing a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to visit his mom instead.

Alt text: Man skips wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, highlighting family and relationship dynamics.

Text showing a person expressing anger and resentment towards their husband after he skips his wife’s first Mother’s Day to hang out with his mom.

Text excerpt discussing a man prioritizing his mother over his wife on Mother's Day, causing conflict.

Man stressed about setting boundaries with parents, feeling pressured by conflicting expectations from wife and mom.

Text excerpt discussing conflict and consequences related to a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day for his mom.

Text post asking if the person is being unreasonable about skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

Readers shared their thoughts in the comments

Reddit conversation about a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, causing relationship issues.

Reddit conversation about a man skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, discussing relationship advice.

Reddit discussion about a man skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom, causing hurt emotions.

Text conversation discussing a man struggling with boundaries after skipping wife’s first Mother’s Day for his mom.

Text conversation about a man skipping his wife’s first Mother’s Day to spend time with his mom.

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

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What do you think ?

POST

Apatheist Account2 1 week ago

The original answer should have been "I can't help today, my wife comes first, but I'll come over tomorrow". It's then up to the parents if they choose to do the work without him.

38points

Marnie 1 week ago

Yeah, them saying that if son doesn't come over, Dad's going to hurt his back is the same kind of tactics an a*****e partner might use saying, "If you leave me, I'm going to off myself." It's a threat to try to control someone. Extremely manipulative.

16points

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Kate Johnson 1 week ago

He's just a weak willed loser that's incapable of standing up to mommy. It's pathetic.

1point

G'ma B 1 week ago

A simple answer: Sorry (mom/dad) we made plans weeks ago for this weekend. I'll get back to you when I can help with the mulch.

0points

Moira 1 week ago

I hate so, so much when people tell one person in a couple to "fix" them in one way or another. In this particular scenario telling OP she should have helped her husband to fix the problem he himself and nobody else made out, like, I signed for a partner, not a frigging child... And I also hate the "tell me what I need to do" from the husband. You're a frigging adult, for God's sake, how about YOU figure out instead on putting all the pressure on your wife AGAIN? Go kick rocks

26points

Becky Samuel 1 week ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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Beak Hookage 1 week ago

I laughed at the "what, does he own Rhode Island?" comment.

25points

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POST

Apatheist Account2 1 week ago

The original answer should have been "I can't help today, my wife comes first, but I'll come over tomorrow". It's then up to the parents if they choose to do the work without him.

38points

Marnie 1 week ago

16points

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Kate Johnson 1 week ago

He's just a weak willed loser that's incapable of standing up to mommy. It's pathetic.

1point

G'ma B 1 week ago

A simple answer: Sorry (mom/dad) we made plans weeks ago for this weekend. I'll get back to you when I can help with the mulch.

0points

Moira 1 week ago

26points

Becky Samuel 1 week ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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Beak Hookage 1 week ago

I laughed at the "what, does he own Rhode Island?" comment.

25points

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Man Ruins The First Mother’s Day For Wife, She Gives Him The Same Energy For Father’s Day

Treating your partner the way they treat you is only fair

But one woman wondered if she was wrong to not plan anything for fathers day

She did get some suggestions from the internet

Sometimes it can be good to get a second opinion

Some folks wanted more details

Many thought she was not at all to blame

Others thought they were not handling the situation well

A handful thought she was being unreasonable

Later she shared an update

Readers shared their thoughts in the comments

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

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Man Ruins The First Mother’s Day For Wife, She Gives Him The Same Energy For Father’s Day

Treating your partner the way they treat you is only fair

But one woman wondered if she was wrong to not plan anything for fathers day

She did get some suggestions from the internet

Sometimes it can be good to get a second opinion

Some folks wanted more details

Many thought she was not at all to blame

Others thought they were not handling the situation well

A handful thought she was being unreasonable

Later she shared an update

Readers shared their thoughts in the comments

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

Subscribe to Access Exclusive Polls

Explore more of these tags

Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Rugile Baltrunaite

Rugile Baltrunaite

Rugilė Žemaitytė

Rugilė Žemaitytė

This Collection Of 50 Sweet Cat Pics Will Have Even Dog Lovers Saying Awww

These 40 Sneaky Pets Knew Exactly What They Were Doing, And It’s Equal Parts Genius And Evil

These Jaw-Dropping Wildlife Photos Prove Nature Is The Ultimate Artist (25 Pics)

Netizens In Awe And In Stitches After Guy Shares "The Day My Dog Floated At Home"

22 Pet Portraits That Got Reanimated To Look Like They Belong In Disney, By This Artist (New Pics)

"Don't Give Me Advice On How To Starve My Cat": Woman Flips Out After Getting Called Out

People Share Adorable Animal Moments In This Facebook Group, And Here Are 23 Of The Best

Stray Cat Sneaking Into Man’s Home Leads To A Heartwarming Friendship That Will Last A Lifetime

34 Pictures Of Unique Personalities Of Stray Cats As Captured By This Japanese Photographer (New Pics)

"Entitled Mom Demanded I Give Her My Late Brother’s Service Dog"

50 Dogs Captured In Peak Motion By Claudio Piccoli

Cat Hated Taking Pills Until His Human Found A Brilliant Way To Make It Work

Reader’s Vote: The Cutest Wild Animal On Earth

33 Unbelievable Photos Of Wild Animals In Their Natural Habitat

While You're Away, Your Cat's Taking Selfies (10 Pics)

Stray Pups Refuse To Be Rescued Separately, Melt Hearts With Their Love And Loyalty For One Another

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27 Hilarious Moments Caught On Camera, As Shared By “Important Animal Images” (New Pics)

I Made 24 Silly, Snarky, And Slightly Relatable Pet Comics

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