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Having a child can be a lot for any teenager to deal with. It automatically gives them a responsibility for another life, which means they will likely put their own on hold in many ways.
The lack of support from parents could exacerbate the situation, something that this 16-year-old girl went through. Her father’s refusal to support her financially led to family drama and created division among her two other sisters.
The rift prompted the dad to reevaluate his decision, leading him to turn to the Reddit community for answers.
RELATED:
Teenage pregnancy is a life-changing event that entails various difficulties
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A 16-year-old girl got pregnant, and it didn’t sit well with her father
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
His decision created a rift within the family, as her two other daughters took sides
Image credits: Extra-Bad-3112
Teenage mothers go through long-term mental struggles that require support
Apart from the physical challenges, pregnant teenagers may also go through mental struggles that could affect them until later in life. For one, they will likely have to stop schooling to care for their child, which the daughter was already concerned about.
The problem with this is that the teenager may not realize her full potential, which could lead to limited career opportunities and more financial difficulty. And if she ends up having a daughter, the young mom may also experience the same thing with her child, which could create an intergenerational challenge.
While the father’s practical approach to the problem is understandable, it may not be helpful, either. According to marriage and family therapist Jennifer Lofft, LMFT, the teenager needs more of an “I won’t always agree with you, but I will stand beside you” kind of relationship.
In her article for GoodTherapy, Lofft explains that treating the pregnant child like a misbehaving kid could result in a damaged relationship moving forward.
“Even if you were able to influence her decision or make the choice for her, there is great potential for a lasting negative impact on both your daughter and your relationship with her,” Lofft wrote.
Lofft adds that giving lectures about birth control and what the daughter did wrong that led her to her predicament won’t help, either. Instead, it’s more about being thankful and shifting into “relationship mode ASAP.”
“The biggest and most important thing is to focus on helping your teen think clearly about herself and her choices. There is no easy decision, and there is no one right decision,” she stated.
The daughter had already begun to resent her father’s decision, and it may only worsen as she grows older. Ultimately, it could create an unhealthy relationship between them and the child, which is never a good thing.
The father can give his lecture as parents do. However, if he wants what’s best for the situation, he would need to give her child his full support.
The man provided more information in the comments
Many readers sided with him
Others shared similar stories
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What do you think ?
whodunnitfan2013 3 months ago
She likely does not understand how hard being a teen mom is. She probably thinks it will make her boyfriend stay.
V 3 months ago
I'd start by waking her up every two hours overnight by screaming in her face. A couple of nights of that might make her lose the romance of it.
Load More Replies...
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 months ago (edited)
'I've thought it through'. Yes, I'm sure you thought of everything, 16 year old girl who clearly knows better....
Tams21 3 months ago (edited)
Being a single parent of one child is difficult enough, being there for three children by yourself is a mammoth task and I have huge respect for those that do it. I imagine the op is both physically and emotionally exhausted and he's doing the right thing by setting realistic expectations, he deserves to have a life for himself and he'll help nobody if he ends up having a breakdown. I expect the daughter will one day see his perspective, certainly after having gone through the rollercoaster of parenthood herself.
J R 3 months ago
I feel terrible for the 16 yo, but this is a needed wakeup call. She's not mature enough to see it because she's still a kid. People can say, "If she wants to be treated like an adult or wants to do adult things, she can act like an adult," but s*x and pregnancy aren't these magic things that automatically impart age and wisdom. I've seen families where the kid has a kid as a teen, and the parents step in to help...but then the teen grows up, still relies on their parents to help raise their kid, and then has another kid! Never becoming financially independent. And the parent is then caught in a situation where they don't want to kick out their kid and grandkids because they love them and don't want them to be homeless, but this means they can't retire. Meanwhile, they have no say in how many kids their kid has.
Papa 3 months ago
Yes, but I'm pretty sure it's a choice I don't believe I would make. She's a 16-year old girl, and is going to need some help. I couldn't tell my daughter "That's tough. You're on your own."
Load More Replies...
C_galen_b 3 months ago
I had a friend in school who got pregnant at 15 and TOLD her parents they would be raising the child because she planned to finish high school before marrying her 17 YO boyfriend. They said "OH, HELL NO! We are required by law to provide you with food and shelter and that's it. We will not care for your child, until we see if you are responsible for the child and committed to school." She then TOLD them her boyfriend was going to move in. They called the police when he showed up. SURPRISE- Cara had triplets. She had to quit school to care for them and moved in with the boyfriend's mom a month after they were born. She threw them out 2 months later and Cara went home, humbled & begging to stay. They let her move back, but she was responsible for everything. It was a struggle and took over a year before she could go back to school, but she did graduate eventually. Her parents fell in love with the kids, and Cara was grateful for every single minute. She grew up into a great mom.
Robyn Hill 3 months ago
She thought everything through … except literally everything. Sounds like she’s watched too much of that teen mom show and thinks this baby will be oh so cute and easy … Dad should have sat her down and asked her for a budget, a written plan for childcare and finishing high school, and how she expects to do all of that without her trust fund. She is nowhere near mature enough to raise a child.
Nikki Sevven 3 months ago
"She said I wasn't supporting her choice as a woman." Bro, she's not a woman. She's a child.
whodunnitfan2013 3 months ago
She likely does not understand how hard being a teen mom is. She probably thinks it will make her boyfriend stay.
V 3 months ago
I'd start by waking her up every two hours overnight by screaming in her face. A couple of nights of that might make her lose the romance of it.
Load More Replies... The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 months ago (edited)
'I've thought it through'. Yes, I'm sure you thought of everything, 16 year old girl who clearly knows better....
Tams21 3 months ago (edited)
Being a single parent of one child is difficult enough, being there for three children by yourself is a mammoth task and I have huge respect for those that do it. I imagine the op is both physically and emotionally exhausted and he's doing the right thing by setting realistic expectations, he deserves to have a life for himself and he'll help nobody if he ends up having a breakdown. I expect the daughter will one day see his perspective, certainly after having gone through the rollercoaster of parenthood herself.
J R 3 months ago
I feel terrible for the 16 yo, but this is a needed wakeup call. She's not mature enough to see it because she's still a kid. People can say, "If she wants to be treated like an adult or wants to do adult things, she can act like an adult," but s*x and pregnancy aren't these magic things that automatically impart age and wisdom. I've seen families where the kid has a kid as a teen, and the parents step in to help...but then the teen grows up, still relies on their parents to help raise their kid, and then has another kid! Never becoming financially independent. And the parent is then caught in a situation where they don't want to kick out their kid and grandkids because they love them and don't want them to be homeless, but this means they can't retire. Meanwhile, they have no say in how many kids their kid has.
Papa 3 months ago
Yes, but I'm pretty sure it's a choice I don't believe I would make. She's a 16-year old girl, and is going to need some help. I couldn't tell my daughter "That's tough. You're on your own."
Load More Replies... C_galen_b 3 months ago
I had a friend in school who got pregnant at 15 and TOLD her parents they would be raising the child because she planned to finish high school before marrying her 17 YO boyfriend. They said "OH, HELL NO! We are required by law to provide you with food and shelter and that's it. We will not care for your child, until we see if you are responsible for the child and committed to school." She then TOLD them her boyfriend was going to move in. They called the police when he showed up. SURPRISE- Cara had triplets. She had to quit school to care for them and moved in with the boyfriend's mom a month after they were born. She threw them out 2 months later and Cara went home, humbled & begging to stay. They let her move back, but she was responsible for everything. It was a struggle and took over a year before she could go back to school, but she did graduate eventually. Her parents fell in love with the kids, and Cara was grateful for every single minute. She grew up into a great mom.
Robyn Hill 3 months ago
She thought everything through … except literally everything. Sounds like she’s watched too much of that teen mom show and thinks this baby will be oh so cute and easy … Dad should have sat her down and asked her for a budget, a written plan for childcare and finishing high school, and how she expects to do all of that without her trust fund. She is nowhere near mature enough to raise a child.
Nikki Sevven 3 months ago
"She said I wasn't supporting her choice as a woman." Bro, she's not a woman. She's a child.
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