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Family Left In Tears 30 Years Later After Realizing They Kicked Out Their Son Because Of A Lie
Family Left In Tears 30 Years Later After Realizing They Kicked Out Their Son Because Of A Lie
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Family Left In Tears 30 Years Later After Realizing They Kicked Out Their Son Because Of A Lie

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When the people who are supposed to always have your back betray you, your entire life can fall apart. Learning to let go of the anger and hate can be one of the most difficult things you’re asked to do. It can take years of dedicated therapy to finally move on. Sometimes, the past is best left in the past.

Redditor Fancy-Anywhere-4733 went viral after sharing the story of how his family threw him out on the streets with the ‘Two Hot Takes’ podcast community. Decades after this happened, they finally wanted to reconnect and apologize. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author of the post, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.

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    It can take years of therapy to reframe the traumatic experiences you had in your childhood

    Image credits: djoronimo (not the actual photo)

    One man opened up about how his loved ones threw him out when he was just a teenager

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    He started the story by sharing some context about his family

    Everything took a dark turn when his stepbrother felt envious and decided to frame him

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    Image credits: prathanchorruangsak (Not the actual photo)

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    After three decades of silence, the man’s family tried to reconnect with him after the truth came out

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    Image credits: LinkedIn Sales Navigator (Not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Fancy-Anywhere-4733

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    The author was unwilling to dredge up the past. He had already moved on with his life

    Everything started because the OP’s stepbrother got envious and decided to set him up. The repercussions of that decision echoed through the decades. The author was left on the streets by his own family.

    “Well, I lived on the streets for 2 years, doing what I had to in order to survive. No kid should have had to do what I had to do, in order to just live, just saying. There were some really dark days,” he wrote.

    However, he adapted, survived, and later thrived. He got a stable job, found a loving wife, and has 4 daughters he’s proud of. His life has been a success.

    He has moved on from what happened in his youth and doesn’t want to revisit the past. According to the author, therapy has been extremely helpful in unpacking and reframing his life experiences.

    Some people feel very aggressive toward their siblings which can lead to profound problems down the line

    While sibling rivalry is fairly common, it is very different from sibling aggression. Some siblings might feel resentful toward each other because they’re jealous, their parents treat them differently, or they have an axe to grind due to being mistreated earlier.

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    Rivalry is mainly all about competing for the parents’ attention and resources. Meanwhile, aggression between siblings has the goal of causing physical or emotional harm.

    “Rivalry is about finding unique successes or developing personal qualities that make a person different from their sibling to capture parents’ attention. Too much rivalry can lead to aggressive behavior,” Corinna Jenkins Tucker, Ph.D., C.F.L.E., the director of the Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy Initiative, explained to Bored Panda during an earlier interview.

    “Before that happens, parents can help with perspective-taking skills and using mediation techniques to help settle conflicts,” she said.

    “When the behavior has an intent to harm, then a line is crossed. When the aggression becomes severe, one-sided, and part of a pattern, that is abuse. The harmed sibling may feel tormented,” Tucker told Bored Panda.

    “Others (e.g., parents, other siblings) and professionals may need to help with recognition if the harmed sibling does not realize what is happening. In the case of abuse, outside professional help is needed, and reconciliation may not be possible,” she said.

    Safety should always be your priority. When there is actual aggression or abuse going on, it can be safest for the victim to stop all contact with their sibling.

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    Even with a good therapist in your corner, it will take a lot of hard work to reframe your past experiences

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    There is no ‘requirement’ that someone has to ‘forgive and forget’ the people who wronged them. They might do so, but once they’ve moved past their anger and resentment, they’re not obligated to bring the people who hurt them back into their lives.

    At the end of the day, whether or not to speak to your estranged family after so many years is a very personal decision. Some people hope to reconnect to make up for lost time, like their family members. Others have a great life and do not want to dredge up past trauma. There are no wrong answers here, only what you feel is right and healthy for you.

    Finding a therapist who’s a good fit for you can take a while. Ideally, you may want a professional who specializes in the type of life experiences that befell you. Someone who knows what family trauma looks like and how it affects you may be a better fit than someone more generalized.

    Therapists do not do the work for you. All the emotional heavy lifting is your responsibility, but the mental health experts help guide you through the entire process. You are supposed to feel challenged to a certain extent, as they reframe your experiences. Your therapist isn’t there to support your every single thought and feeling like a friend would.

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    However, if you fundamentally feel like your therapist isn’t a good fit for you, there’s no shame in seeking another specialist’s help. It’s very important that you feel a mutual sense of trust and comfort so you can fully open up.

    The author shared some more context in the comments of his post

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    Image credits: Andrew Neel (Not the actual photo)

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    He later posted an important update to his story

    Image credits: Fancy-Anywhere-4733

    Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)

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    He shared the letter that he received from his stepsister ‘Emily’

    Then, he posted what he wrote back to her

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    Here’s what some internet users had to say after they read the entire story

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    Poll Question

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    Read less »

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    What do you think ?
    Kirsty Y
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t get why all the ire is focused on Mark? Mark is a douche, no doubt about it, but he was 14 at the time this happened. OP’s OWN DAD tossed him out, and sided with his new family over his flesh and blood. His Dad should have been the adult in all of this and he failed as a father and a human being. That is where the blame really lies in this story

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark was a child, but as he aged, he never told the truth about what he did - that is what makes him evil. The father - he is next level evil. To throw your child out, to have your parents not be there for their grandchild - hell is too good for him.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think OP deserves a standing ovation for his approach to this tragedy. He made the best out of a very bad situation and he's absolutely right in leaving those who hurt him, behind. He has his priorities right. Well done!

    fu yu
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear old dad started 'crying' only when the truth came out and he couldn't live in denial any more. Eff hm and his crocodile tears.

    Load More Replies...
    Red_panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTH!!! Even IF (I know it says he didn't, I'm being hypothetical here) he did steal his stepsisters underwear, he was a freaking kid. And at that point should have been given support and therapy. Not shown the door. What an ah family.

    Jocelynn Schreiner
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also who never accidentally had someone else's clothes mixed in with theirs? Plus the fact that they just took what Mark said as fact with no proof beyond underwear in OP's room. It kind of feels like they just wanted a reason to get rid of OP so they could have their "perfect family". That's what they got and they can all go f**k themselves

    Load More Replies...
    Sandy D
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After they put him in the street alone at 16, they want to see him again!? All these decades after. It's too bad he didn't teport then to the cops when they didnt even consider his side of thing. Pretty sure its illegal to just kick out a kid under 18 y/o. This people suck and don't sedge anything fun him, including forgiveness or contact at all. If he responded to email, I hope it was a detailed description of all the hell he went thru just to survive. And remind them how you went thru hell and it's 100% their fault

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The response he sent and the email he received are in the post. Not sure if it was when you read it or not, but it’s there now. Sadly, he was very nice in the email, which is much more than his family deserves

    Load More Replies...
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem here is throwing OP the way his dad did was deeply wrong even if OP had done what he was accused of doing. In that situation, you get your child therapy, you find him an alternate living situation but you don’t throw him out in the clothes he standing in. Thats the true evil here and the family isn’t acknowledging it.

    Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And OP and Mark were constantly fighting. Why would they believe Mark?

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP, the only thing you need to concentrate on is you and your family. The person who wrote "they are not reaching out to make you feel better, they are reaching out to make them feel better," is bang on the mark. Tell them you appreciate that they now know what a******s they were but for my money that ship sailed a long time ago. Hug your wife and kids and move on.

    Purple tiger
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My therapist once said that true forgiveness is indifference- anything that offending person does after the fact, whether bad or good , makes you feel nothing, that's when you know you gave closed that chapter.

    Verena
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    16 plus 30 = 46. If he's "pushing 53", so this was more like 40 years ago. Father and stepmother are "preparing for retirement". So I do not know what the retirement age is where OP lives, but at least the father is 75ish, assuming he was 35 when he kicked OP out. That sounds late in age. It might be a cultural thing, but in most western countries such a harsh reaction can only mean 1. Father is addicted to religion or 2. a general vile character. Poorest parenting, not knowing how the brains of the kids were working. Kicking out a minor on the streets is (at least in most European countries) followed by an answer by the law. And minors do get help, if they want, even if they don't want. OPs school did not notice him vanishing? Here police and other institutions would go searching for every child that is listed in the city council administration. Being a suspected sex offender would not change that.

    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was kicked out of my house multiple times from 12-16. The school did nothing. Most of the time they didn’t know. I stayed with a local family and continued going to the same school. I did tell a teacher about it at one point but she just shrugged her shoulders. They are mandated reporters now, but they weren’t back then. And kids dropped out of school all the time when I was in high school. At 16 I finally just stopped going home. But I finished school. Thanks to that family, who saved me.

    Load More Replies...
    Lydsylou (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would it be a problem to meet Emily? After all she had nothing to do with any of it and they got on. Also she was manipulated by her family. However I haven't been in that situation thankfully so idk how emotionally damaging that might be. Absolutely never speak to the parents or brother again. I have mixed feelings on the girlfriend. If she was manipulated into believing as well and then broke up with him I completely understand but the fact that she married mike makes me think she's also a bit of an ah. But if he was to meet any of them then meet the 2 women under the conditions that they don't tell anything to the parents or mike.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't find fault with the sister, and don't see the harm in staying in contact with her (at least giving it a try). However, just because I don't think staying in contact with her would have necessarily been the wrong thing to do, I'm not going to second guess his decision either.

    Load More Replies...
    Roger9er
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark and the father deserve a bunch of kicks in the teeth and in more places. While I completely understand OP's inability to forgive, I personally think his sister is a victim too. She was lied to profusely by Mark, who has a extremely malicious and evil nature, but also by the father, who apparently did not care how his children were feeling. Unfortunately, she found out too late and has to pay by seeing her brother never again. Phew! Life is a bįtch.

    Load More Comments
    Kirsty Y
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t get why all the ire is focused on Mark? Mark is a douche, no doubt about it, but he was 14 at the time this happened. OP’s OWN DAD tossed him out, and sided with his new family over his flesh and blood. His Dad should have been the adult in all of this and he failed as a father and a human being. That is where the blame really lies in this story

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark was a child, but as he aged, he never told the truth about what he did - that is what makes him evil. The father - he is next level evil. To throw your child out, to have your parents not be there for their grandchild - hell is too good for him.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think OP deserves a standing ovation for his approach to this tragedy. He made the best out of a very bad situation and he's absolutely right in leaving those who hurt him, behind. He has his priorities right. Well done!

    fu yu
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear old dad started 'crying' only when the truth came out and he couldn't live in denial any more. Eff hm and his crocodile tears.

    Load More Replies...
    Red_panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTH!!! Even IF (I know it says he didn't, I'm being hypothetical here) he did steal his stepsisters underwear, he was a freaking kid. And at that point should have been given support and therapy. Not shown the door. What an ah family.

    Jocelynn Schreiner
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also who never accidentally had someone else's clothes mixed in with theirs? Plus the fact that they just took what Mark said as fact with no proof beyond underwear in OP's room. It kind of feels like they just wanted a reason to get rid of OP so they could have their "perfect family". That's what they got and they can all go f**k themselves

    Load More Replies...
    Sandy D
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After they put him in the street alone at 16, they want to see him again!? All these decades after. It's too bad he didn't teport then to the cops when they didnt even consider his side of thing. Pretty sure its illegal to just kick out a kid under 18 y/o. This people suck and don't sedge anything fun him, including forgiveness or contact at all. If he responded to email, I hope it was a detailed description of all the hell he went thru just to survive. And remind them how you went thru hell and it's 100% their fault

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The response he sent and the email he received are in the post. Not sure if it was when you read it or not, but it’s there now. Sadly, he was very nice in the email, which is much more than his family deserves

    Load More Replies...
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem here is throwing OP the way his dad did was deeply wrong even if OP had done what he was accused of doing. In that situation, you get your child therapy, you find him an alternate living situation but you don’t throw him out in the clothes he standing in. Thats the true evil here and the family isn’t acknowledging it.

    Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And OP and Mark were constantly fighting. Why would they believe Mark?

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP, the only thing you need to concentrate on is you and your family. The person who wrote "they are not reaching out to make you feel better, they are reaching out to make them feel better," is bang on the mark. Tell them you appreciate that they now know what a******s they were but for my money that ship sailed a long time ago. Hug your wife and kids and move on.

    Purple tiger
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My therapist once said that true forgiveness is indifference- anything that offending person does after the fact, whether bad or good , makes you feel nothing, that's when you know you gave closed that chapter.

    Verena
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    16 plus 30 = 46. If he's "pushing 53", so this was more like 40 years ago. Father and stepmother are "preparing for retirement". So I do not know what the retirement age is where OP lives, but at least the father is 75ish, assuming he was 35 when he kicked OP out. That sounds late in age. It might be a cultural thing, but in most western countries such a harsh reaction can only mean 1. Father is addicted to religion or 2. a general vile character. Poorest parenting, not knowing how the brains of the kids were working. Kicking out a minor on the streets is (at least in most European countries) followed by an answer by the law. And minors do get help, if they want, even if they don't want. OPs school did not notice him vanishing? Here police and other institutions would go searching for every child that is listed in the city council administration. Being a suspected sex offender would not change that.

    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was kicked out of my house multiple times from 12-16. The school did nothing. Most of the time they didn’t know. I stayed with a local family and continued going to the same school. I did tell a teacher about it at one point but she just shrugged her shoulders. They are mandated reporters now, but they weren’t back then. And kids dropped out of school all the time when I was in high school. At 16 I finally just stopped going home. But I finished school. Thanks to that family, who saved me.

    Load More Replies...
    Lydsylou (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would it be a problem to meet Emily? After all she had nothing to do with any of it and they got on. Also she was manipulated by her family. However I haven't been in that situation thankfully so idk how emotionally damaging that might be. Absolutely never speak to the parents or brother again. I have mixed feelings on the girlfriend. If she was manipulated into believing as well and then broke up with him I completely understand but the fact that she married mike makes me think she's also a bit of an ah. But if he was to meet any of them then meet the 2 women under the conditions that they don't tell anything to the parents or mike.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't find fault with the sister, and don't see the harm in staying in contact with her (at least giving it a try). However, just because I don't think staying in contact with her would have necessarily been the wrong thing to do, I'm not going to second guess his decision either.

    Load More Replies...
    Roger9er
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark and the father deserve a bunch of kicks in the teeth and in more places. While I completely understand OP's inability to forgive, I personally think his sister is a victim too. She was lied to profusely by Mark, who has a extremely malicious and evil nature, but also by the father, who apparently did not care how his children were feeling. Unfortunately, she found out too late and has to pay by seeing her brother never again. Phew! Life is a bįtch.

    Load More Comments
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