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Family Tries To Take Back The Inheritance From Gay Man Whom They Disowned, Gets Restraining Orders Instead
While some people are blessed to have good, nurturing families, others are stuck playing politics with their relatives. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that some folks end up deciding they don’t want anything to do with their family.
A netizen shared a story of one of their friend’s deeply toxic family and its behavior. After disowning him due to their homophobia, they then showed up at his house demanding to know why they weren’t invited to the wedding. What followed was a textbook case of manipulation, guilt tripping and every toxic family behavior in the book.
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Being disowned is normally a time when both parties cut contact
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But one man’s family ignored him for years, then asked why they didn’t get a wedding invite
Image credits: Flavio Anibal (not the actual image)
Image credits: micheledeblock (not the actual image)
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Image credits: [deleted]
Toxic families tend to follow a specific playbook
Navigating the choppy waters of a toxic family dynamic can feel like trying to paddle a canoe through a sea of maple syrup while wearing a blindfold. It is sticky, exhausting, and you never quite know which direction you are heading until you hit a rock. We all have that one relative who treats every holiday dinner like an audition for a lead role in a high stakes drama, or a parent who believes that their child is simply an extension of their own ego. Dealing with entitled family members requires a specific set of emotional survival tools because these relationships are unique. Unlike a bad boss or a draining friend, you cannot always just walk away without a complex fallout. The first step in reclaiming your peace is recognizing the common manipulation tactics that these individuals use to keep you under their thumb.
One of the most frequent weapons in the toxic family arsenal is gaslighting. This is a psychological maneuver where a person makes you question your own memory or perception of events. If you bring up a time they hurt your feelings, they might respond by saying that never happened or that you are being far too sensitive. This tactic is designed to make you feel unstable and reliant on their version of the truth. According to insights on psychological manipulation from Psychology Today, gaslighting is a way to maintain power and control by eroding the victim’s confidence. When you stop trusting your own eyes and ears, you become much easier to manage.
Another classic move is the guilt trip, which is often executed with the precision of an Olympic athlete. Entitled family members frequently feel that they are owed your time, money, or emotional labor simply because you share a last name. They might remind you of all the sacrifices they made for you in the third grade to pressure you into doing something you are uncomfortable with today. This creates a cycle of obligation where you feel like you are constantly in debt for a loan you never signed for. Research suggests that individuals with high levels of entitlement often lack empathy, meaning they truly do not see how their demands impact your well being. To them, your boundaries are not safety lines but rather personal challenges that they feel entitled to jump over. As this story demonstrates, sometimes entitlement goes as far as believing that legitimately inherited money is still owed “back” to the family.
Image credits: rawpixel.com (not the actual image)
Sometimes the only defense is to just shut down until they move on
Then there is the phenomenon known as the flying monkeys, a term borrowed from the Wizard of Oz to describe people who do the toxic person’s dirty work. In a family setting, this might be a cousin or a sibling who calls you up to say that Mom is really hurt that you aren’t coming to lunch, even though Mom was the one who started the argument in the first place. These messengers spread guilt and misinformation to pull you back into the family drama. Managing this requires a technique often called the Grey Rock (actual term) method. This strategy involves becoming as uninteresting and non responsive as a literal grey rock. When a toxic person tries to provoke you or a flying monkey tries to guilt you, you provide short, boring, and non committal answers. By giving them no emotional reaction to feed on, they eventually get bored and look for a more exciting target elsewhere.
Setting boundaries is the final and most important piece of the puzzle. A boundary is not a way to change the other person, but a way to protect yourself. You might decide that you will leave the room if someone starts yelling, or that you will not answer phone calls after eight in the evening. Research suggests that maintaining your own mental health often requires limiting contact or changing the terms of the engagement with people who exhibit narcissistic or entitled traits. It is helpful to remember that “No” is a complete sentence and you do not owe anyone a ten page dissertation on why you are choosing to prioritize your own sanity.
Ultimately, you cannot control how your family behaves, but you can control how much access they have to your heart and mind. Choosing to distance yourself from toxic behavior is not an act of malice but an act of self preservation. You deserve to live a life that is not defined by someone else’s unrealistic expectations or emotional outbursts. Whether you decide to go low contact or simply master the art of the bored response, the goal is the same. You are taking back the remote control to your own life and choosing to tune out the static. It might be a bumpy ride at first, but the view is much better once you are out of the syrup and back on clear water.
Image credits: Sharmin (not the actual image)
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Panda McPandaface 1 month ago
My father (my mother had died two years before) threw me out when I was 18 because I am gay. We had no contact of any sort right up to his death 35+ years later. The house then went to my stepmother who died last year - surprisingly I still get a share of the money from the house. Is a few thousand worth losing your one surviving parent? Probably not, but he was always able to contact me through my brother and never did, even when I was in intensive care in hospital. I have a feeling I didn't miss out on much.
Sparky Hughes 1 month ago
My mom’s family is the typical conservative Hispanic family and quite large. We have quite a few “out” relatives. We were having dinner and my uncle had written an editorial and came out as gay in their small town that day. He liked to start stuff typically and could get very confrontational/mean. No one reacted or cared about it so nothing was brought up at dinner. He asked my grandmother/his mom if she read it. She said yes and that she saved the clipping. Then she asked him to pass the potatoes and asked us kids how was school. lol
Panda McPandaface 1 month ago
My father (my mother had died two years before) threw me out when I was 18 because I am gay. We had no contact of any sort right up to his death 35+ years later. The house then went to my stepmother who died last year - surprisingly I still get a share of the money from the house. Is a few thousand worth losing your one surviving parent? Probably not, but he was always able to contact me through my brother and never did, even when I was in intensive care in hospital. I have a feeling I didn't miss out on much.
Sparky Hughes 1 month ago
My mom’s family is the typical conservative Hispanic family and quite large. We have quite a few “out” relatives. We were having dinner and my uncle had written an editorial and came out as gay in their small town that day. He liked to start stuff typically and could get very confrontational/mean. No one reacted or cared about it so nothing was brought up at dinner. He asked my grandmother/his mom if she read it. She said yes and that she saved the clipping. Then she asked him to pass the potatoes and asked us kids how was school. lol
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