Teen Can’t Keep Up With Family’s Food Preferences, Starts Cooking Only For Himself, It Angers Family
Among the many cynical but often damn truthful pieces of advice that I’ve ever heard or read, there was this: “every initiative is punishable.” And indeed, as soon as one of us takes an initiative in any matter, it instantly becomes our “inalienable duty” in the eyes of others.
Are you tech savvy? They will call and write to you day and night with persistent demands to fix their desktop. Once you babysat at someone’s home and got along with the kids – be prepared that you will be perceived as a regular babysitter and they will take offense to any refusal. If you can cook deliciously, all your relatives will be happy to take advantage of your talent. Well, will use, overuse, and sometimes even abuse it…
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a 16-year-old boy who discovered his talent for cooking several years ago
Image credits: Julia M Cameron (not the actual photo)
The boy tried to cook breakfast and so on for himself first, but then his relatives literally forced him to cook for the entire family
Image credits: u/Live_Frosting_7812
Moreover, each of them turned out to be incredibly whimsical and not so grateful
Image credits: Julia M Cameron (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Live_Frosting_7812
The boy tried to vent about it to his mom but she just said it’s the fate of every home cook
Image credits: Vanessa Loring (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Live_Frosting_7812
And when the teen tried to revolt against this burden, he was dubbed ‘rude’ and even got grounded for 2 weeks
The perfect example of this is perhaps this story from the user u/Live_Frosting_7812 in the AITA community on Reddit, which in just a couple of days has already gained over 11K upvotes and around 1.6K various comments. The Original Poster (OP) is a 16-year-old boy who studies in school and several years ago not only became interested in cooking, but also had the imprudence to demonstrate his talents to numerous relatives.
And that’s it – very little time passed, and our hero began to be perceived as a full-time cook in the family. Moreover, in the best traditions of family manipulation, the OP’s dad told his son that cooking only for himself is ‘rude.’ And then the culinary drama unfolded rapidly…
It turned out that each of the family members had their own food preferences, and they didn’t hesitate to actively express their wishes and whims to the newly minted ‘chef.’ And when he cooked something that didn’t suit their taste, they also did not hesitate to loudly express their complaints. And, of course, without any special thanks to the boy.
The OP was trying to create some kind of a menu for the week, desperately attempting to please everyone, and at the same time not fall behind in his studies (after all, no one canceled school for him!), but every day it became worse, and the whims of his relatives turned out to be increasingly bizarre.
The guy tried to complain to his mom, but she philosophically and thoughtfully noted that such is the fate of everyone who undertakes to cook for the whole family. The son tried to reasonably argue that he didn’t volunteer to do this – he was actually forced, but to no avail. Apparently, this decent woman was so glad that there was someone on whom to shift the burden of cooking that she was actually deaf to the sufferings of her own son.
Moreover, when just recently the teen tried to rebel, saying that he didn’t volunteer to cook for all these folks, he was immediately labeled ‘rude’ and ‘disrespectful,’ and was almost accused of trying to starve his relatives (like ordering pizza is that difficult and beyond human strength!..) and he ended up being grounded for 2 weeks. Every initiative is punishable…
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
Well, I can immediately say that the original poster is far from alone in his problem, and many of the heroes of our stories have faced something similar more than once. For example, this woman once got tired of hosting holidays for all relatives and went to the beach instead of gathering everyone at her home for Thanksgiving. It all ended with predictable condemnation from relatives.
The problem is that many people sometimes have wishful thinking and confuse goodwill with duty. For example, as it was the case with another hero of our post, whose sister one fine day simply brought her three kids to his porch and demanded he babysat them, citing the fact that “he must be a decent uncle.” That guy however was strong enough to say “No”, but he was, after all, an adult, not a teenager…
The most interesting thing is that literally all the people in the comments under the original post got everything perfectly well – unlike the author’s relatives. “You are a minor. It’s your parents’ responsibility to take care of you,” one of the commenters wrote. “Cooking is a wonderful interest to have and I hope your enjoyment is not ruined by your family’s behavior. It’s one thing to share your dishes alongside the rest of the food during meals, but another entirely to be responsible for feeding all your family members.”
However, people understand that the OP, being still a minor, is limited in his ability to resist abusive relatives. Still, there are a couple of wholesome tips from the peeps. “With your age, unfortunately there is not a lot you can do here. Once you have a part time job, start buying your own groceries and they can’t complain about it being a waste of food,” another person in the comments tried to support the author.
It’s interesting, by the way – in this story of ours, the mom was actually criticized by her own mother for trying to teach her son to cook, but here the situation turned out to be completely different. So what would you, our dear readers, do if you were the original poster? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments sided with our hero, but said that he actually hasn’t got that many chances to resist since he’s still a minor
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
Parents need to PARENT. I constantly tell my small child I am not running a restaurant. I refuse to cook separate meals, you want bolognaise and Dad wants noodles, fine, I'll do bolognaise tonight, noodles tomorrow. He hates rice, I love it, suck it up and eat it once in a while. Mum allowed her own children to b***h and moan, she should have stood up to them. She should have stood up to her husband. And he should have been an adult and been more respectful in the first place. Kid should try to get a weekend job in a restaurant, save up, and leave as soon as he can. Then cook to his heart's desire
Yep. Our kiddo grew up on "Eat it this time because that's what we have to eat." They got mercy if it turned out to be something they REALLY didn't like whether by taste or texture; they're old enough now they can get themselves something else now, but when they were younger I might make a smoothie or pile a plate with cheese and raw veggies if a meal was a genuine no-go.
Load More Replies...
"If you want to parentify me, then I will treat you like a child. You can eat what I made or you can go make yourself a sandwich. End of discussion."
That's what my mom did. If it was something my brother or I didn't like we could eat it anyway, not eat, or make ourselves a sandwich. Or simple stuff like dishing out my noodles before adding the sauce.
Load More Replies...
Wow, this literal child is being bullied and parentified by the whole g-d family. Do they not realize the second this kid gets a chance he's leaving and they'll never hear from him again?
I have some idea where he'd spend time: "I sometimes cook for my friends and my extended family!! I love cooking for my extended family because they are always so good and encouraging about it and my grandparents have especially helped me learn certain things." Sadly, the grandparents haven't been able to get the OP's parents to grow the eff up.
Load More Replies...
My son - now aged 17 - has been cooking amazing meals since he was 15. He's an awesome cook. But, I don't pressure him to cook, I ask him or he volunteers. If he wants to cook then he'll ask me to buy the ingredients for the meal. As I'm the parent, I view provision of meals is my responsibility so I'm 100% grateful that my son will cook. We have a great relationship and always work things out together..
Sorry to say but this is why many of us hide all skills and interests from family. It won't stop when you move out, the only thing to do is never mention stuff you're interested in, or play down things. If your family is like this with cooking they will be like this with hair styling, car repair, woodwork, pet training, you name it. I'm sorry this happened to OP, I hope he protects himself better going forward. He shouldn't have to, but he does.
What absolute garbage excuse for "parents" just abject scum. And its obvious where the filth siblings get it from. Sounds like a hard NC after school
I'm a millennial raised like this with boomer parents. I 100% approve. I've watched so many younger ones these days say the have "tactile" disorders and can't eat anything other than chips and chicken tenders because their parents cooked what they wanted, not what they needed.
Load More Replies...
It's the parents' responsibility to provide food for their children. They are parentifying the OP by making him responsible for family meals. And it's the parents' fault everyone is so ungrateful, because they've put up with it and enabled it for so long. Those parents are putting their son in an impossible situation, and that's going to lead to a bad relationship as soon as he's independent. The parents should have taught their kids from an early age that "this is dinner. If you don't like it, go have a sandwich."
With your cooking skills maybe you could be an asset to an older person in your area and live with them rent free in return for cooking and light chores. Your family is treating you like a live-in housekeeper. Your age is old enough to be emancipated. Try this and set yourself free.
My initial thoughts were that the parents were giving him a bit of grief as a tit for tat. ie: that he used to complain about their cooking so once he started they did it back so he knew what it felt like. But based on what he said he didn't complain about food. So they can't even use that excuse. If i was him, I'd probably just do the ultimatum thing, "if you don't like what I'm cooking make your own". Pretty much what my Mum said if we complained and it worked a charm. Of course he might have to deal with being grounded but it's worth it to make the point. If/when they're willing to be a bit more considerate I'd offer a simple choice each night (like spag bol or steak and vegies), most votes wins and that is what gets cooked for everyone. Either that or just rotate through a list of however many things he likes cooking. Spag bol tonight, steak tomorrow, fish the next night and so on.
I'm going to guess that the father started out complaining about whatever his wife cooked very early in their relationship, and the mother put up with it, for whatever reason. The other children learned that from him. Now when OP started cooking it was her turn to complain. It sounds like there's not much this young man can do except put up with it the best he can until he's in a position to move out.
Poor kid. He's more mature than everyone around him. I would stop cooking for them. He's saddled with a sad group of people who are incapable of appreciating his efforts. Sadly I have been around people who will find fault in everything as a default (heh)
NTA sounds to me like your siblings are old enough to cook for themselves. Why isnt dad cooking? Nope hold out. You do not owe them anything. You are not being oaid to be a private chef ehich is what they are treating you like. I bet there is more amiss in this family.
My parents taught me to eat what was cooked and be grateful, so maybe the mom could have tried that. Even ultra-picky eaters (my daughter is one) can be taught to be grateful for the effort and polite when they are served food, even if they don’t like it. There is no excuse for the disrespect here, and OP should not be expected to serve food for people who insult him.
If the cooking was something added to his chores and not a replacement of another, then it shouldn't be an issue for him to stop if he wants. If he can't get out of the job, I'd consider boring them until mom or dad take over again. Every night do the same dish, don't add any seasoning but some salt. Something simple so it doesn't take much work. And since he's the one cooking, make something for himself that he wants, just 1 plate. They'll complain, but hey, he's providing them food like they want.
Solution is easy. Since they're treating the kid like a short order cook he needs to start charging them for their meals.
Yeah, this is a really lousy situation, and as a kid who has to live there, OP can't really put his foot down. It sounds like he's done all the right things, but none of it has worked. My best advice at this point is to either not cook, or if he gets in trouble for not cooking because it's "his chore," do the bare minimum: cook what the parents buy/tell him to cook, avoid making any emotional investment in whether anyone likes it or not, and ignore complaints. It stinks that the rest of the family decided to ruin something that could have been a win-win--a hobby you enjoy, and a major chore taken off the parents' plates--by being jerks about it, but you can't control their choices. In a couple of years, your college roommates will be happy and grateful for you to cook for them.
When I was growing up in the 60-70s my mother chose what to cook for dinner. We, the children, had not say in the matter! It was a choice of what's cooked or go hungry!
NTA. What a bunch of ungrateful shrews. I like to bake, but if anyone started complaining about the result ("too dry," "not enough chocolate," "almond is yucky"), my ingredients would stay in the cupboard. Whiners deserve an empty plate.
I started cooking dinner when I was in middle school. My mom worked about 45 minutes away. Every meal was what everyone already liked. Things my mom always cooked but I was doing it. We'd go to the store as a family and we would all help plan the meals.
"I hate what you cook" "Okay I won't cook for you anymore" "😡 You selfish child" That's the vibes I got from this story
This kid is actually "running a restaurant". All of my kids have known how to cook since they were around 10-12. Some better than others. Usually, I make the meals, but sometimes one of them does. It's always the same rule. If you really don't like a certain food, you can not eat that part of the meal. If you don't like the whole thing, like if you can't stand beans, and someone makes chili, then make yourself something simple and cheap, like a sandwich or bowl of cereal. It's not a restaurant, and I'm not made of money. Plus, it's just plain rude to complain, after someone has put their best effort into making something.
Simple solution is to do what my mom did. Cook the meal. If we don't like it, we're on our own. She wasn't letting us starve since food was provided.
The entire family dynamic is off. They allow disrespectful and ungrateful behaviours all around. Poor kid is born where he doesn't belong.
My late grandmother had a simple system - when anyone complained about the cooking, she’d pick up their plate and dump their meal in the garbage and say “There’s your dinner then”. To this day, you could set a cooked shoe in front of my father and he’d thank you and eat it without complaint.
If you continue to cook for the family do as most households, if someone doesn't like it, they can fix themselves a PB&J or leave the table. Your home is not a diner. You are not employed as a chef. Parents need to have more respect & be greatful for your taking on "THEIR" responsibilities. Don't let your family destroy your passion, you may become the future Gordon Ramsey. GORDON, YOU READING THIS? PLEASE GIVE THIS KID A THUMBS UP! 👍
Too be fair he's and has an entire family gaslighting him that he is.
Load More Replies...
He should look up the song "Moose Turd Pie" by Utah Phillips and show it to his family. I am curious about how old his siblings are, though, because little kids, being monsters, always expect to get everything want.
THis baffles me so. I learned to cook starting at 3 years old. Yes I did. I was SUCH a pain to my mom when she cooked that she had my carpenter father build a step stool for me so I could reach the stove and I started cooking my own breakfast. At 5 I started cooking family dinners now and then. And at 7 I was doing huge holiday meals. I loved it. And my family NEVER once complained. MOm was greatful not to have to cook. Daddy wouldn't have DREAMED of criticizing me, even if the food was awful, which it wasn't. And my brother was just glad mom didn't expect him to cook. Mom's only rule about my cooking was "if you make a mess, you clean it up" and I was fine with that. I couldn't imagine being so hateful and spiteful and ungrateful. I've gone to many peoples houses and had meals that were not at all good. I ate anyway. I skipped some things altogether, ate more of other things. Not one time did I ever criticize or complain, even when the only thing I could stand to eat was chips
The "parents " and siblings are total a******s! OP is a child and is being used and treated like a red-headed stepchild. He needs to continue to only prepare meals for himself, but put out bowls and cereal on the table for these ingrates. When I was growing up (5 of us kids), if you complain about the food you had the choice of eating it or have it warmed up for either breakfast or dinner. Only 1 time did 1 of us make the mistake of saying they didn't like the way his eggs were cooked, Mom promptly divided them up for the rest of us and sent him on his way to finish getting ready for school, in otherwords, go hungry. Never pulled that stunt again 😁
In my house growing up we ate what my mother cooked, and that's how we were raised, there was no complaining, or whining. We do have to cook differing meals sometimes now due to food allergies, but on the whole we still eat what whomever is cooking makes.
What a horrible family! This borders on child abuse, I would consider getting outside help with this, there is probably other unpleasant stuff going on here, as well as that already mentioned. OP is a teenager, in school and with a part-time job, who is being expected to take on parental responsibility for family meals because he happens to be a gifted cook and because his mother has allowed his father and siblings to become spoilt, picky eaters who think they have the right to demand a personal on-site chef and to freely criticize the meals provided. My advice would be that he stops cooking for them all together, even if they do ground him (cooking every single day for your entire family is not just a regular teenage "chore"!), wait until he is old enough to leave home, and then go NC. People like this are toxic, they will always take advantage of everyone in their lives, the best thing to do with people like this is to cut them completely out of your life, it's the only way!
80s kid here (born in 77). Cooking was part of the chores. That said, back then I hated cooking. No one ever asked me took again when two things happened - 1 - I undercooked burgers. And 2 - I cooked them to my liking....Well done. I'm the only one in the whole fam (since my grandmother on moms side died) that eats meat well done. --- it wasn't until I moved out that I did overed that I like to cook....and no one can complain about my likes and dislikes, lol. Not my fault I grew up a picky eater. I have partial anosmia. A lot of food tastes and smells wrong. Then I have food allergies. I grew up on a farm and somehow I ended up allergic to eggs, fruit, mushrooms, and I'm lactose intolerant. Most veggies smell and taste like trash that's been baking in the summer sun for a month.
We weren't allowed to complain about the food places before us. It was seen as disrespectful. Good way to be sent to bed without supper. And if you complained /talked back on that, you'd end up with a bar of soap for dinner. Learned that lesson real quick. Same went for cussing. Strictly forbidden. Even parents didn't swear around us. Never heard em swear till I was 15....when I fell in a gasoline fire. Then again, I was swearing up a storm as well. Parents overlooked that for obvious reasons. --- it's one things to teach kids responsibility....but if a child takes on a role such as cooking - don't put all the responsibility on them...otherwise you get major resentment. My baby sis (10 years younger than me) loves to bake. Parents never, EVER forced her to cook for them. My other sis (2 years younger than me) never liked to cook that much. Prolly thanks to the chores we both had in the 80s, lol.
Load More Replies...
I’m from the ‘eat it or starve’ school of home cooked dinners. There was only one or two meals that I wasn’t expected to eat, spaghetti (I was ill once and threw it up when I was a kid) and fish dinners (I have never liked fish, to this day can’t eat it - I literally sat at the table all night into the next morning refusing to eat fish when I was 6 or 7). I’ve tried fish every couple years to see if my tastes have changed and nothing yet.
I also cooked for my family when I was 16, back when you had to kill a dinosaur! Complaints were not accepted. I knew who didn't like fish or spicy so I made sure there was enough of other stuff. The standard Mom rule applies to anyone cooking - Take it or leave it. Or you could get really petty. Cook a casserole of EVERYTHING and tell them they'll get that every night until they shut up and eat what's put in front of them. I'm going to assume you actually know how to make a good meal, not bland blah food. no one wants blah!
If OP is ok with cooking for the family thats fine. Whats NOT fine is the parents being ungreatful for it. If they want something specific they need to tell OP BEFORE he cooks! I will say its not ok to want your fam to starve (thats a bit far) but i get the frustration and hurt from the disrespect
I AM APPALLED AT YOUR MOTHERS ACTIONS. She is no better than your whiny, self-centered, unappreciative siblings. The difference between the 2 are that kids can and will be that way at some point in their life. It is kind of part of being a kid....BUT YOUR MOTHER?!?!? Instead of defending you because 1)she is your mother (and not a very good one) 2)she knows what it is like to be on the receiving end, 3)this is a passion that could mold your future and should be nourished, she chose to be ungrateful. Dads/Men, in general, usually develop a lackadaisical attitude because it is just "easier" to deal with. I started cooking when I was 9. My mother was in nursing school with 3 kids and a job. I took it upon myself to cook for the family. Our parents mindset on it was that 1) they would cook for them and if we ate it, we ate it, we still had to sit at the table until everyone was finished. 2)Whoever cooked didn't have to clean. At 54 I still love to cook. KEEP BEING YOU!
You could try having a 'them' night, let each pick what they want on their nite. So Mom picks on Sunday, dad on Monday and so on. When complaints are made, tell them it's not their night, so tough. Complaints continue, tell them if they don't like it either they can cook or go hungry. If it still continues, reach over pick their plate up and slam it on the table. My mom only had to do that once. We never complained again
As the oldest of five we ate whatever our mom or dad cooked and were grateful. If you didn't eat it, you went hungry and still had to do the dishes if it was your turn. you could ask ahead of time for a favorite dish and it would be done for a special occasion (Birthday or holiday)if it was a bit more costly. We could not say we didn't like something unless we tried it and given it a fair chance.(liver yuck). that family dictating to a child what they are willing to eat is unconscionable and began with the Mother letting them get away with it. My mother wasn't always the best cook but meals were fore the most part tasty and good for you. As we were all learning to cook, everyone ate the results except for that one time my sister mistook salt for sugar, lol. More Power to the teen that made the decision to let them fend for themselves.
When I was growing up I don't recall me or any of my siblings or my dad complained about what my mom made for dinner. We hate what she made. She was a pretty good cook.
Suggestion: 1. Grey rock them as much as possible. Google this. 2. Cook what you want to and use this time to practice your skills. If they criticize it, grey rock them. Make it very uninteresting for them to complain. It’s clear that the goal is to pick at you; it’s not anything about your food. 3. Focus all your energy on doing really well in school so that you can leave and not come back when you hit 18. Two years is a big part of your life now, but in another decade or two it won’t seem so long. Focus on your future. Read whatever you can find online about preparing for adulthood and self-sufficiency. Get to know your school counselors and let them know that you want to go far away and be self sufficient. Ask for their advice now. If you want to become a professional chef, maybe consider getting to know a couple? That’s not my area of expertise, so I offer it with that caveat. I don’t know if there are chefs who would welcome talking with a talented kid or not.
Let them cook their own meals. Tell them they can eat peanut butter
Parents need to PARENT. I constantly tell my small child I am not running a restaurant. I refuse to cook separate meals, you want bolognaise and Dad wants noodles, fine, I'll do bolognaise tonight, noodles tomorrow. He hates rice, I love it, suck it up and eat it once in a while. Mum allowed her own children to b***h and moan, she should have stood up to them. She should have stood up to her husband. And he should have been an adult and been more respectful in the first place. Kid should try to get a weekend job in a restaurant, save up, and leave as soon as he can. Then cook to his heart's desire
Yep. Our kiddo grew up on "Eat it this time because that's what we have to eat." They got mercy if it turned out to be something they REALLY didn't like whether by taste or texture; they're old enough now they can get themselves something else now, but when they were younger I might make a smoothie or pile a plate with cheese and raw veggies if a meal was a genuine no-go.
Load More Replies... "If you want to parentify me, then I will treat you like a child. You can eat what I made or you can go make yourself a sandwich. End of discussion."
That's what my mom did. If it was something my brother or I didn't like we could eat it anyway, not eat, or make ourselves a sandwich. Or simple stuff like dishing out my noodles before adding the sauce.
Load More Replies... Wow, this literal child is being bullied and parentified by the whole g-d family. Do they not realize the second this kid gets a chance he's leaving and they'll never hear from him again?
I have some idea where he'd spend time: "I sometimes cook for my friends and my extended family!! I love cooking for my extended family because they are always so good and encouraging about it and my grandparents have especially helped me learn certain things." Sadly, the grandparents haven't been able to get the OP's parents to grow the eff up.
Load More Replies... My son - now aged 17 - has been cooking amazing meals since he was 15. He's an awesome cook. But, I don't pressure him to cook, I ask him or he volunteers. If he wants to cook then he'll ask me to buy the ingredients for the meal. As I'm the parent, I view provision of meals is my responsibility so I'm 100% grateful that my son will cook. We have a great relationship and always work things out together..
Sorry to say but this is why many of us hide all skills and interests from family. It won't stop when you move out, the only thing to do is never mention stuff you're interested in, or play down things. If your family is like this with cooking they will be like this with hair styling, car repair, woodwork, pet training, you name it. I'm sorry this happened to OP, I hope he protects himself better going forward. He shouldn't have to, but he does.
What absolute garbage excuse for "parents" just abject scum. And its obvious where the filth siblings get it from. Sounds like a hard NC after school
I'm a millennial raised like this with boomer parents. I 100% approve. I've watched so many younger ones these days say the have "tactile" disorders and can't eat anything other than chips and chicken tenders because their parents cooked what they wanted, not what they needed.
Load More Replies... It's the parents' responsibility to provide food for their children. They are parentifying the OP by making him responsible for family meals. And it's the parents' fault everyone is so ungrateful, because they've put up with it and enabled it for so long. Those parents are putting their son in an impossible situation, and that's going to lead to a bad relationship as soon as he's independent. The parents should have taught their kids from an early age that "this is dinner. If you don't like it, go have a sandwich."
With your cooking skills maybe you could be an asset to an older person in your area and live with them rent free in return for cooking and light chores. Your family is treating you like a live-in housekeeper. Your age is old enough to be emancipated. Try this and set yourself free.
My initial thoughts were that the parents were giving him a bit of grief as a tit for tat. ie: that he used to complain about their cooking so once he started they did it back so he knew what it felt like. But based on what he said he didn't complain about food. So they can't even use that excuse. If i was him, I'd probably just do the ultimatum thing, "if you don't like what I'm cooking make your own". Pretty much what my Mum said if we complained and it worked a charm. Of course he might have to deal with being grounded but it's worth it to make the point. If/when they're willing to be a bit more considerate I'd offer a simple choice each night (like spag bol or steak and vegies), most votes wins and that is what gets cooked for everyone. Either that or just rotate through a list of however many things he likes cooking. Spag bol tonight, steak tomorrow, fish the next night and so on.
I'm going to guess that the father started out complaining about whatever his wife cooked very early in their relationship, and the mother put up with it, for whatever reason. The other children learned that from him. Now when OP started cooking it was her turn to complain. It sounds like there's not much this young man can do except put up with it the best he can until he's in a position to move out.
Poor kid. He's more mature than everyone around him. I would stop cooking for them. He's saddled with a sad group of people who are incapable of appreciating his efforts. Sadly I have been around people who will find fault in everything as a default (heh)
NTA sounds to me like your siblings are old enough to cook for themselves. Why isnt dad cooking? Nope hold out. You do not owe them anything. You are not being oaid to be a private chef ehich is what they are treating you like. I bet there is more amiss in this family.
My parents taught me to eat what was cooked and be grateful, so maybe the mom could have tried that. Even ultra-picky eaters (my daughter is one) can be taught to be grateful for the effort and polite when they are served food, even if they don’t like it. There is no excuse for the disrespect here, and OP should not be expected to serve food for people who insult him.
If the cooking was something added to his chores and not a replacement of another, then it shouldn't be an issue for him to stop if he wants. If he can't get out of the job, I'd consider boring them until mom or dad take over again. Every night do the same dish, don't add any seasoning but some salt. Something simple so it doesn't take much work. And since he's the one cooking, make something for himself that he wants, just 1 plate. They'll complain, but hey, he's providing them food like they want.
Solution is easy. Since they're treating the kid like a short order cook he needs to start charging them for their meals.
Yeah, this is a really lousy situation, and as a kid who has to live there, OP can't really put his foot down. It sounds like he's done all the right things, but none of it has worked. My best advice at this point is to either not cook, or if he gets in trouble for not cooking because it's "his chore," do the bare minimum: cook what the parents buy/tell him to cook, avoid making any emotional investment in whether anyone likes it or not, and ignore complaints. It stinks that the rest of the family decided to ruin something that could have been a win-win--a hobby you enjoy, and a major chore taken off the parents' plates--by being jerks about it, but you can't control their choices. In a couple of years, your college roommates will be happy and grateful for you to cook for them.
When I was growing up in the 60-70s my mother chose what to cook for dinner. We, the children, had not say in the matter! It was a choice of what's cooked or go hungry!
NTA. What a bunch of ungrateful shrews. I like to bake, but if anyone started complaining about the result ("too dry," "not enough chocolate," "almond is yucky"), my ingredients would stay in the cupboard. Whiners deserve an empty plate.
I started cooking dinner when I was in middle school. My mom worked about 45 minutes away. Every meal was what everyone already liked. Things my mom always cooked but I was doing it. We'd go to the store as a family and we would all help plan the meals.
"I hate what you cook" "Okay I won't cook for you anymore" "😡 You selfish child" That's the vibes I got from this story
This kid is actually "running a restaurant". All of my kids have known how to cook since they were around 10-12. Some better than others. Usually, I make the meals, but sometimes one of them does. It's always the same rule. If you really don't like a certain food, you can not eat that part of the meal. If you don't like the whole thing, like if you can't stand beans, and someone makes chili, then make yourself something simple and cheap, like a sandwich or bowl of cereal. It's not a restaurant, and I'm not made of money. Plus, it's just plain rude to complain, after someone has put their best effort into making something.
Simple solution is to do what my mom did. Cook the meal. If we don't like it, we're on our own. She wasn't letting us starve since food was provided.
The entire family dynamic is off. They allow disrespectful and ungrateful behaviours all around. Poor kid is born where he doesn't belong.
My late grandmother had a simple system - when anyone complained about the cooking, she’d pick up their plate and dump their meal in the garbage and say “There’s your dinner then”. To this day, you could set a cooked shoe in front of my father and he’d thank you and eat it without complaint.
If you continue to cook for the family do as most households, if someone doesn't like it, they can fix themselves a PB&J or leave the table. Your home is not a diner. You are not employed as a chef. Parents need to have more respect & be greatful for your taking on "THEIR" responsibilities. Don't let your family destroy your passion, you may become the future Gordon Ramsey. GORDON, YOU READING THIS? PLEASE GIVE THIS KID A THUMBS UP! 👍
Too be fair he's and has an entire family gaslighting him that he is.
Load More Replies... He should look up the song "Moose Turd Pie" by Utah Phillips and show it to his family. I am curious about how old his siblings are, though, because little kids, being monsters, always expect to get everything want.
THis baffles me so. I learned to cook starting at 3 years old. Yes I did. I was SUCH a pain to my mom when she cooked that she had my carpenter father build a step stool for me so I could reach the stove and I started cooking my own breakfast. At 5 I started cooking family dinners now and then. And at 7 I was doing huge holiday meals. I loved it. And my family NEVER once complained. MOm was greatful not to have to cook. Daddy wouldn't have DREAMED of criticizing me, even if the food was awful, which it wasn't. And my brother was just glad mom didn't expect him to cook. Mom's only rule about my cooking was "if you make a mess, you clean it up" and I was fine with that. I couldn't imagine being so hateful and spiteful and ungrateful. I've gone to many peoples houses and had meals that were not at all good. I ate anyway. I skipped some things altogether, ate more of other things. Not one time did I ever criticize or complain, even when the only thing I could stand to eat was chips
The "parents " and siblings are total a******s! OP is a child and is being used and treated like a red-headed stepchild. He needs to continue to only prepare meals for himself, but put out bowls and cereal on the table for these ingrates. When I was growing up (5 of us kids), if you complain about the food you had the choice of eating it or have it warmed up for either breakfast or dinner. Only 1 time did 1 of us make the mistake of saying they didn't like the way his eggs were cooked, Mom promptly divided them up for the rest of us and sent him on his way to finish getting ready for school, in otherwords, go hungry. Never pulled that stunt again 😁
In my house growing up we ate what my mother cooked, and that's how we were raised, there was no complaining, or whining. We do have to cook differing meals sometimes now due to food allergies, but on the whole we still eat what whomever is cooking makes.
What a horrible family! This borders on child abuse, I would consider getting outside help with this, there is probably other unpleasant stuff going on here, as well as that already mentioned. OP is a teenager, in school and with a part-time job, who is being expected to take on parental responsibility for family meals because he happens to be a gifted cook and because his mother has allowed his father and siblings to become spoilt, picky eaters who think they have the right to demand a personal on-site chef and to freely criticize the meals provided. My advice would be that he stops cooking for them all together, even if they do ground him (cooking every single day for your entire family is not just a regular teenage "chore"!), wait until he is old enough to leave home, and then go NC. People like this are toxic, they will always take advantage of everyone in their lives, the best thing to do with people like this is to cut them completely out of your life, it's the only way!
80s kid here (born in 77). Cooking was part of the chores. That said, back then I hated cooking. No one ever asked me took again when two things happened - 1 - I undercooked burgers. And 2 - I cooked them to my liking....Well done. I'm the only one in the whole fam (since my grandmother on moms side died) that eats meat well done. --- it wasn't until I moved out that I did overed that I like to cook....and no one can complain about my likes and dislikes, lol. Not my fault I grew up a picky eater. I have partial anosmia. A lot of food tastes and smells wrong. Then I have food allergies. I grew up on a farm and somehow I ended up allergic to eggs, fruit, mushrooms, and I'm lactose intolerant. Most veggies smell and taste like trash that's been baking in the summer sun for a month.
We weren't allowed to complain about the food places before us. It was seen as disrespectful. Good way to be sent to bed without supper. And if you complained /talked back on that, you'd end up with a bar of soap for dinner. Learned that lesson real quick. Same went for cussing. Strictly forbidden. Even parents didn't swear around us. Never heard em swear till I was 15....when I fell in a gasoline fire. Then again, I was swearing up a storm as well. Parents overlooked that for obvious reasons. --- it's one things to teach kids responsibility....but if a child takes on a role such as cooking - don't put all the responsibility on them...otherwise you get major resentment. My baby sis (10 years younger than me) loves to bake. Parents never, EVER forced her to cook for them. My other sis (2 years younger than me) never liked to cook that much. Prolly thanks to the chores we both had in the 80s, lol.
Load More Replies... I’m from the ‘eat it or starve’ school of home cooked dinners. There was only one or two meals that I wasn’t expected to eat, spaghetti (I was ill once and threw it up when I was a kid) and fish dinners (I have never liked fish, to this day can’t eat it - I literally sat at the table all night into the next morning refusing to eat fish when I was 6 or 7). I’ve tried fish every couple years to see if my tastes have changed and nothing yet.
I also cooked for my family when I was 16, back when you had to kill a dinosaur! Complaints were not accepted. I knew who didn't like fish or spicy so I made sure there was enough of other stuff. The standard Mom rule applies to anyone cooking - Take it or leave it. Or you could get really petty. Cook a casserole of EVERYTHING and tell them they'll get that every night until they shut up and eat what's put in front of them. I'm going to assume you actually know how to make a good meal, not bland blah food. no one wants blah!
If OP is ok with cooking for the family thats fine. Whats NOT fine is the parents being ungreatful for it. If they want something specific they need to tell OP BEFORE he cooks! I will say its not ok to want your fam to starve (thats a bit far) but i get the frustration and hurt from the disrespect
I AM APPALLED AT YOUR MOTHERS ACTIONS. She is no better than your whiny, self-centered, unappreciative siblings. The difference between the 2 are that kids can and will be that way at some point in their life. It is kind of part of being a kid....BUT YOUR MOTHER?!?!? Instead of defending you because 1)she is your mother (and not a very good one) 2)she knows what it is like to be on the receiving end, 3)this is a passion that could mold your future and should be nourished, she chose to be ungrateful. Dads/Men, in general, usually develop a lackadaisical attitude because it is just "easier" to deal with. I started cooking when I was 9. My mother was in nursing school with 3 kids and a job. I took it upon myself to cook for the family. Our parents mindset on it was that 1) they would cook for them and if we ate it, we ate it, we still had to sit at the table until everyone was finished. 2)Whoever cooked didn't have to clean. At 54 I still love to cook. KEEP BEING YOU!
You could try having a 'them' night, let each pick what they want on their nite. So Mom picks on Sunday, dad on Monday and so on. When complaints are made, tell them it's not their night, so tough. Complaints continue, tell them if they don't like it either they can cook or go hungry. If it still continues, reach over pick their plate up and slam it on the table. My mom only had to do that once. We never complained again
As the oldest of five we ate whatever our mom or dad cooked and were grateful. If you didn't eat it, you went hungry and still had to do the dishes if it was your turn. you could ask ahead of time for a favorite dish and it would be done for a special occasion (Birthday or holiday)if it was a bit more costly. We could not say we didn't like something unless we tried it and given it a fair chance.(liver yuck). that family dictating to a child what they are willing to eat is unconscionable and began with the Mother letting them get away with it. My mother wasn't always the best cook but meals were fore the most part tasty and good for you. As we were all learning to cook, everyone ate the results except for that one time my sister mistook salt for sugar, lol. More Power to the teen that made the decision to let them fend for themselves.
When I was growing up I don't recall me or any of my siblings or my dad complained about what my mom made for dinner. We hate what she made. She was a pretty good cook.
Suggestion: 1. Grey rock them as much as possible. Google this. 2. Cook what you want to and use this time to practice your skills. If they criticize it, grey rock them. Make it very uninteresting for them to complain. It’s clear that the goal is to pick at you; it’s not anything about your food. 3. Focus all your energy on doing really well in school so that you can leave and not come back when you hit 18. Two years is a big part of your life now, but in another decade or two it won’t seem so long. Focus on your future. Read whatever you can find online about preparing for adulthood and self-sufficiency. Get to know your school counselors and let them know that you want to go far away and be self sufficient. Ask for their advice now. If you want to become a professional chef, maybe consider getting to know a couple? That’s not my area of expertise, so I offer it with that caveat. I don’t know if there are chefs who would welcome talking with a talented kid or not.
Let them cook their own meals. Tell them they can eat peanut butter
60
69