A trip to the zoo can be exciting for anyone, regardless of their age. How often do you get to see zebras, elephants and giraffes in person? It can feel like you’re at the center of a nature documentary! But apparently, if we’re too excited, our moms might just threaten to have us taken away…
Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on the Entitled Parents subreddit, detailing how a mother decided that the best way to get her kid to settle down was to simply scare her, as well as conversations with the post’s OP and Pamela Li of Parenting for Brain.
Visitors to the zoo can expect to encounter many overly excited children
Image credits: Daiga Ellaby (not the actual photo)
But this woman was shocked by the tactic one mother employed to try to get her daughter to behave
Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ceeyoulater99
“It probably traumatized the kid, and I know my boyfriend was offended by it”
We reached out to the woman who shared this story online, Reddit user Ceeyoulater99, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about why she was inspired to share this post. “I wanted to know if other people agreed with me that it was wrong of her to do that and know other peoples thoughts on the subject,” she explained.
As far as why the mother may have threatened her child, the OP says, “I think she probably did it because she was embarrassed by the crying and thought it would be a good way to get the kid to stop. However, it probably traumatized the kid, and I know my boyfriend was offended by it.” She added that the little girl in this story didn’t have much of a reaction to her mother’s threat. “She just stopped crying and clung to the woman’s leg.”
Ceeyoulater99 also shared that she was surprised by the responses to her post. “I thought people would have been more supportive of the mother, rather than me,” she noted. “So I’m glad there are others that agree with me.” But the OP does find the fact that there were so many similar stories worrying.
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Threats may seem like an effective way to get kids to behave, but they can do more harm than good
We also reached out to parenting expert and founder of Parenting for Brain, Pamela Li, MS, MBA to hear why parents sometimes resort to threats to get their children to behave. “They believe it’s a quick way to gain compliance,” Pamela explained. “The immediate shock or fear can sometimes bring about the desired behavior. However, this approach is often a sign of parental frustration or desperation rather than a well-thought-out discipline strategy.”
While these threats might sometimes result in immediate compliance, the expert says they’re not an effective long-term strategy for behavior management. “Parents should be the people kids can always count on to feel safe and loved,” Pamela noted. “When parents use threats or scare tactics, it shakes up this feeling of safety. Kids can become anxious and start to doubt whether they can really trust their parents to look out for them. This break in trust can stick around, affecting how kids connect with their parents and others as they grow up.”
Using threats also doesn’t teach kids how to behave better, Pamela says. “Instead of learning why something is wrong and how to make good choices, they just learn to dodge getting in trouble,” she told Bored Panda. “This leaves them unprepared for dealing with life’s ups and downs on their own, both now and later in life.”
As far as how parents can guide their children’s behavior without using threats, Pamela points out that the key is to figure out the root cause of their actions, so you can offer better ways for them to express themselves. “For instance, if a child is screaming out of excitement at the zoo, teach them how to channel that enthusiasm through words, facial expressions, or quiet internal joy,” the expert explained.
“By taking the time to dig deeper and address the underlying cause, you’re not just stopping the unwanted behavior—you’re teaching valuable life skills”
Image credits: Caleb Woods (not the actual photo)
“Kids often yell or scream when they’re thrilled because they haven’t learned other ways to show their feelings yet. By teaching them alternatives and explaining why these are better—like not frightening the animals or disrupting other visitors—you’re helping them understand how their actions impact the world around them,” Pamela noted.
A child may also be screaming for different reasons, such as feeling anxious, nervous, or scared, then address those specific emotional needs. They might need reassurance, a moment to breathe, or a quieter setting to feel more at ease.
“Simply punishing a behavior without understanding why it’s happening is usually not effective for the long haul,” Pamela shared. “It might stop the action temporarily, but it doesn’t teach the child how to handle similar situations in the future. By taking the time to dig deeper and address the underlying cause, you’re not just stopping the unwanted behavior—you’re teaching valuable life skills.”
“Being patient and consistent not only helps children learn important life skills but also strengthens the trust and bond between parent and child”
According to Pamela, discipline strategies should be geared towards teaching, not punishing. “The goal is to help children become self-regulating individuals who understand the value of good behavior, rather than fearing the consequences of bad behavior,” she explained.
But Pamela sympathizes with parents who become overwhelmed and frustrated. “Many are juggling work, home life, and countless other responsibilities, all while grappling with the challenge of handling repetitive misbehavior from their children,” she told Bored Panda. “Teaching kids the right way to act takes time, patience, and a lot of repetition. Just as toddlers stumble many times before they can walk confidently, or as children repeatedly practice writing letters before mastering them, learning behavior is a process that can’t be rushed.”
“It’s easy to think that telling a child something once should be enough and then feel frustrated when they don’t ‘get it’ immediately. However, kids need time and repetition to learn new behaviors and unlearn old ones,” Pamela continued. “While it can be tiring and parenting is undoubtedly challenging, investing the time and patience to teach your children properly pays off in many ways.”
“Being patient and consistent not only helps children learn important life skills but also strengthens the trust and bond between parent and child,” the expert shared. “In the end, the extra effort and time spent are more than worth it for the long-term well-being and relationship with your child.”
If you’d like to hear more wise words from Pamela about parenting, be sure to visit Parenting for Brain. And then if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda discussing entitled parents, look no further than right here!
Image credits: Jordan Whitt (not the actual photo)
Readers shared their disgust for the mom’s method, as well as some of their own similar experiences
Kid was crying in Ikea and being a bit of a brat and his Dad got to down to eye-level and dead pan said "if you start behaving I'll take you all the way round again". THAT is the kind of threat I could deal with, not this psychologically abusive sh*t.
I was a parent-helper on a school trip with 10 year olds. We were climbing the spiral turret of a castle. Some of the children ran to the top, and started trying to come back down. This was physically dangerous due to it being a narrow spiral staircase. I shouted up the stairs that they should remain at the top, or I would inflict as many medieval tortures on them as possible. They laughed. At the top, I met a group of grinning American tourists. They asked what sort of tortures I planned on inflicting. The children started giving out wonderful suggestions, and lots of them. I hung my head, and said in a dejected tone, "Sadly, we can't do any of these things today, as the children remained at the top." One child quipped, "There's always tomorrow, Miss!"
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When I worked in childcare my supervisor jokingly threatened one of the kids (a boy aged about six) by pretending to be calling the police to come and arrest him. The poor kid became genuinely terrified and started crying. I grabbed the supervisor's phone and said "He's lying - look, see? There's no-one on the phone." Then I scolded the supervisor for being a jerk, which definitely cheered the kid up.
I always hate when parents do stuff like this. I worked in a butchers shop, and everything is behind a glass shopwindow. Kids LOVE to touch the glass because they wanna point at everything, or sometimes even lick it. I had parents go like "you stop that now or the lady behind the counter will get very angry at you!!". Excuse you, why make me the mean shoplady? If they say stuff like that and the kid doesn't stop, I'm now gonna be too stubborn to say anything
Licking the glass? Ewww. The correct threat in this case isn't mean shop lady will get angry. Its you gotta clean that now. And a polite request for supplies to clean the glass. The touching, not so bad, the glass is there to keep kid hands and idiot hands off of the food.
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I understand it if the parents tell their kids "if you keep wandering off without me, someone could take you," because that's a genuine warning/concern. But just cause they're being loud? At a zoo??? That's definitely some weird mess that shouldn't even happen.
We were in some park once, and there was a group of kids playing nearby. There was a police officer heading in their direction, just minding his own business when one of the kids (5-6 years old) noticed him. The kid froze like a deer in headlights for several seconds, and then he had THE meltdown. That kid was terrified. Like, sobbing, whimpering, trembling, hiccupping terrified. Some people (most likely the parents) laughed, but it was horrible. It was obvious that the kid's parents would do this kind of 'teaching' often. Do not do this, people! It's awful!
My dad is a big guy, 6ft7in and 250 pounds at least. Some horrible lady at the bowling alley pointed at my dad and said “ if you don’t stop that and behave that big man is going to be VERY ANGRY AT YOU!!!” My dad was startled and upset and insisted that was false and he said the child looked terrified of him. It really broke his heart to be made into that child’s Monster! That’s a really bad mom fr.
Holy hell. I'm a parent of 2 and this kind of threat wouldn't ever cross my mind! Occasionally, walking home after a long day, my son will be grumpy enough for a tantrum. But I just sit on the sidewalk with him until he calms down. It would NEVER occur to me to threaten him like this!
What a b***h! That woman should not have had children. Something similar happened to my mother once. When my mother was a young new nurse she worked 3rd shift. There was a couple there with a young child (4 years old tops) in the waiting room, not waiting to be seen, possibly visiting someone; being the middle of the night the child was sleepy & crying. One of the adults said loudly "see that nurse over there" pointing at my mom "if you don't stop crying that nurse is going to come over here and give you a big shot." That of course made the child cry even harder because the threat of a shot is absolutely terrifying to kids. Well my mom heard the threat, she went over to the child and said gently but loud enough for the adults to hear "don't be upset I promise you I won't give you a shot ever."
"If you don't behave kill call the police and they'll take you away" heard in a restaurant
I would have SCREAMED about that idiot scaring her child and that they needed parenting classes or give up the child for adoption if they don't want the responsibility of raising them and then wonder years later why their child will have nothing to do with them!
Once again, I reiterate that there should be a license for procreating. Some people have developed baby-making parts yet no developed brains in sight. That pathetic meatsack of a mother might very well traumatize her kid forever one day if she keeps it up. I know because that's what Asian parents do as well. Thankfully, the "tradition" is experiencing a slow death but there are still dum-dum excuse for parents out there using these intimidation tactics to get kids to behave.
Yeah that's a quick way to have some 'good Samaritan' hurt you or to get physically attacked. No thanks lady.
Yeah...no. Next thing you know you are in serious trouble because you tried to kidnap a child.
Now imagine the many things that could/will go wrong for BF if he'd "play along".
I've had to use that reverse tactic as a cashier, when screaming child wants candy but trashy mom is spending all their money on cigarettes and lottery tickets. Mom says "that lady will throw you out of the store/call the police if you don't stop!" To which I tell the child sweetly "Nope, only if you steal something or hurt someone, hun!" Maybe pay attention to your child for once. And if I'm really in a mood "Maybe if your mom wins enough money, she'll buy it!"
Jeez, even passive threats are bad. My grandson is 4. He's pretty well adjusted but for years he's had this thing where if I or my husband leave his view, he's obsessed with "where's Grandma -where's Papa". Yesterday we were playing outside, in a fenced yard, and he says "grandma, no one can get me if you or Papa are with me, right?'. I assured him that was true but it's sad a small child is worried about "getting got'.
... and now imagine the wrong people overhearing this, or a fraction thereof, and attempt to "SaVe ThE kIdS 11111111" or such, and resorting to any and every means they can make being had at hand. People were killed for less of a misunderstanding. She's an awful person, and your best bet will always be physical distance, preferably 3 or 4 digits in kilometers.
When I worked in retail a woman said to her small child 'if you don't behave that lady will tell you off' pointing at me. I pulled a WTF face and walked away. I fully believe OPs story. If it happened again I would say 'I certainly will not'
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Kid was crying in Ikea and being a bit of a brat and his Dad got to down to eye-level and dead pan said "if you start behaving I'll take you all the way round again". THAT is the kind of threat I could deal with, not this psychologically abusive sh*t.
I was a parent-helper on a school trip with 10 year olds. We were climbing the spiral turret of a castle. Some of the children ran to the top, and started trying to come back down. This was physically dangerous due to it being a narrow spiral staircase. I shouted up the stairs that they should remain at the top, or I would inflict as many medieval tortures on them as possible. They laughed. At the top, I met a group of grinning American tourists. They asked what sort of tortures I planned on inflicting. The children started giving out wonderful suggestions, and lots of them. I hung my head, and said in a dejected tone, "Sadly, we can't do any of these things today, as the children remained at the top." One child quipped, "There's always tomorrow, Miss!"
Load More Replies... When I worked in childcare my supervisor jokingly threatened one of the kids (a boy aged about six) by pretending to be calling the police to come and arrest him. The poor kid became genuinely terrified and started crying. I grabbed the supervisor's phone and said "He's lying - look, see? There's no-one on the phone." Then I scolded the supervisor for being a jerk, which definitely cheered the kid up.
I always hate when parents do stuff like this. I worked in a butchers shop, and everything is behind a glass shopwindow. Kids LOVE to touch the glass because they wanna point at everything, or sometimes even lick it. I had parents go like "you stop that now or the lady behind the counter will get very angry at you!!". Excuse you, why make me the mean shoplady? If they say stuff like that and the kid doesn't stop, I'm now gonna be too stubborn to say anything
Licking the glass? Ewww. The correct threat in this case isn't mean shop lady will get angry. Its you gotta clean that now. And a polite request for supplies to clean the glass. The touching, not so bad, the glass is there to keep kid hands and idiot hands off of the food.
Load More Replies... I understand it if the parents tell their kids "if you keep wandering off without me, someone could take you," because that's a genuine warning/concern. But just cause they're being loud? At a zoo??? That's definitely some weird mess that shouldn't even happen.
We were in some park once, and there was a group of kids playing nearby. There was a police officer heading in their direction, just minding his own business when one of the kids (5-6 years old) noticed him. The kid froze like a deer in headlights for several seconds, and then he had THE meltdown. That kid was terrified. Like, sobbing, whimpering, trembling, hiccupping terrified. Some people (most likely the parents) laughed, but it was horrible. It was obvious that the kid's parents would do this kind of 'teaching' often. Do not do this, people! It's awful!
My dad is a big guy, 6ft7in and 250 pounds at least. Some horrible lady at the bowling alley pointed at my dad and said “ if you don’t stop that and behave that big man is going to be VERY ANGRY AT YOU!!!” My dad was startled and upset and insisted that was false and he said the child looked terrified of him. It really broke his heart to be made into that child’s Monster! That’s a really bad mom fr.
Holy hell. I'm a parent of 2 and this kind of threat wouldn't ever cross my mind! Occasionally, walking home after a long day, my son will be grumpy enough for a tantrum. But I just sit on the sidewalk with him until he calms down. It would NEVER occur to me to threaten him like this!
What a b***h! That woman should not have had children. Something similar happened to my mother once. When my mother was a young new nurse she worked 3rd shift. There was a couple there with a young child (4 years old tops) in the waiting room, not waiting to be seen, possibly visiting someone; being the middle of the night the child was sleepy & crying. One of the adults said loudly "see that nurse over there" pointing at my mom "if you don't stop crying that nurse is going to come over here and give you a big shot." That of course made the child cry even harder because the threat of a shot is absolutely terrifying to kids. Well my mom heard the threat, she went over to the child and said gently but loud enough for the adults to hear "don't be upset I promise you I won't give you a shot ever."
"If you don't behave kill call the police and they'll take you away" heard in a restaurant
I would have SCREAMED about that idiot scaring her child and that they needed parenting classes or give up the child for adoption if they don't want the responsibility of raising them and then wonder years later why their child will have nothing to do with them!
Once again, I reiterate that there should be a license for procreating. Some people have developed baby-making parts yet no developed brains in sight. That pathetic meatsack of a mother might very well traumatize her kid forever one day if she keeps it up. I know because that's what Asian parents do as well. Thankfully, the "tradition" is experiencing a slow death but there are still dum-dum excuse for parents out there using these intimidation tactics to get kids to behave.
Yeah that's a quick way to have some 'good Samaritan' hurt you or to get physically attacked. No thanks lady.
Yeah...no. Next thing you know you are in serious trouble because you tried to kidnap a child.
Now imagine the many things that could/will go wrong for BF if he'd "play along".
I've had to use that reverse tactic as a cashier, when screaming child wants candy but trashy mom is spending all their money on cigarettes and lottery tickets. Mom says "that lady will throw you out of the store/call the police if you don't stop!" To which I tell the child sweetly "Nope, only if you steal something or hurt someone, hun!" Maybe pay attention to your child for once. And if I'm really in a mood "Maybe if your mom wins enough money, she'll buy it!"
Jeez, even passive threats are bad. My grandson is 4. He's pretty well adjusted but for years he's had this thing where if I or my husband leave his view, he's obsessed with "where's Grandma -where's Papa". Yesterday we were playing outside, in a fenced yard, and he says "grandma, no one can get me if you or Papa are with me, right?'. I assured him that was true but it's sad a small child is worried about "getting got'.
... and now imagine the wrong people overhearing this, or a fraction thereof, and attempt to "SaVe ThE kIdS 11111111" or such, and resorting to any and every means they can make being had at hand. People were killed for less of a misunderstanding. She's an awful person, and your best bet will always be physical distance, preferably 3 or 4 digits in kilometers.
When I worked in retail a woman said to her small child 'if you don't behave that lady will tell you off' pointing at me. I pulled a WTF face and walked away. I fully believe OPs story. If it happened again I would say 'I certainly will not'
Load More Replies...
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