“My Wedding Is Not Gonna Become Your Child’s Birthday Party”: Bride Shares A Ridiculous Request From An Entitled Relative She’s Never Even Met
Interview With Author
Organizing a wedding is stressful enough as it is. You’ve got to find the right venue and book a band. You’ve got to take care of the food and find a stunning outfit. Last but certainly not least—you need to figure out who you’re inviting. The very last thing you need is a relative you’ve never met trying to hijack your Big Day!
Redditor u/sailorfantasy, who is getting married in September, opened up about a spot of wedding drama that blew the internet’s mind. She revealed how a distant relative suggested merging the wedding with her child’s fourth birthday. Scroll down for the full story. Bored Panda reached out to u/sailorfantasy and she shared her thoughts with us about what happened, how to deal with the stress of organizing a wedding, and how to decide whom to invite. Read on for our full interview with her.
It takes a special level of entitlement to try and hijack someone else’s wedding
Image credits: Mizuno K (not the actual photo)
A bride-to-be revealed how a distant relative contacted her with a very peculiar request
Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)
Image credits: sailorfantasy
The woman was completely taken aback by the mom’s brazen approach
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
We were curious about the first thing that went through u/sailorfantasy’s mind when she read what her aunt’s niece wrote her. “I am sure she didn’t want to plan a party for her child and wanted to take advantage of my wedding because then she would save money, time, and effort,” she told Bored Panda.
She opened up to us that her first reaction was that the woman was extremely entitled. “‘Who the eff is this girl?’ I went to my fiancé immediately, and he couldn’t believe it either. I honestly wanted to insult her, but I controlled myself. I can’t stand this kind of behavior.”
Organizing weddings can be incredibly stressful, so we wanted to hear what advice redditor u/sailorfantasy would give newly engaged couples who are just starting the entire process.
“Get ready to get a lot of demands about your own day, and DON’T listen to them! Don’t change your mind to make others happy, because it’s your day, and you will regret it,” she shared.
“Some people tell me, ‘Invite such person, or do this or that thing, to avoid family drama.’ If doing what you want is gonna cause family drama, then okay, do it! And if someone doesn’t wanna come, well, you will save that money and figure out who is not that close to you after all.” The OP pointed out that communication is key and that you should talk things through with your partner.
Meanwhile, u/sailorfantasy said that it’s essential to “take some breaks” from planning the wedding. “I had 2 whole weeks of bad sleep because I was having nightmares about things going wrong during the wedding.”
When it comes to whom to invite and who to skip, the OP noted that you should invite just those closest to you, the folks who you see the most often.
“Don’t invite people that you haven’t seen for years just because you feel obligated.” The redditor told Bored Panda that, to her, the most important people are the parents, grandparents, siblings and partners, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Meanwhile, if you happen to have a lot of cousins, invite ” just the ones you talk more with, or none!”
“You can also do a child-free wedding, or one with just friends, or just parents and siblings… Don’t be afraid to exclude people.”
Redditor u/sailorfantasy also shared some words of wisdom for everyone who’s planning their wedding: “Enjoy it! It won’t be perfect, accept it! And it’s okay!”
The story started up a discussion about entitlement and boundaries online
Image credits: Rene Asmussen (not the actual photo)
The OP pointed out on Reddit that the distant relative of theirs, her aunt’s niece, wasn’t related to her by blood and wasn’t even going to be invited to the wedding in the first place. They hadn’t even met in person. It was a small celebration with 28 people, including the happy couple.
However, the relative, learning that everything would take place at the bride’s house, thought that it would be a ‘good idea’ to celebrate her child’s fourth birthday at the same time as well. Her reasoning was that her kid’s birthday was just a few days before the actual wedding. Meanwhile, all of the people at the celebration were already her nearest and dearest.
Now, wanting the best for your child as a parent is nothing bad. Wanting them to spend more time with family members you love and respect is fine, too. However, there’s a time and a place for birthdays. That time and place is not, by any measure, someone else’s wedding! No. Just… no.
Good intentions? Maybe. Awful idea? Definitely. Entitlement? Through the roof. So it was perfectly reasonable for the bride-to-be, redditor u/sailorfantasy, to refuse the request.
As one redditor quipped, the OP should have joked, “That’s a great idea!! So far I’ve spent $10,000 on my wedding. If we combine the two events, we could split the cost at $5,000 each!” There’s nothing quite like mentioning remuneration and sharing the burden to make someone’s sense of entitlement evaporate like the morning dew.
The fact of the matter is that no matter how much you organize and plan for your wedding, some things can go completely wrong. Your guests might make a scene. Your caterer might be late. Or you get an entirely different cake delivered to you.
The most essential thing to keep in mind in these chaotic situations is that, at the end of the day, they don’t actually matter. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ wedding. Something will inevitably go wrong at some point, and you won’t be able to control it. So it’s best to smile, laugh, and embrace whatever comes your way.
What truly matters is that you’re marrying your soulmate and celebrating this love with the people you care about the most on this pale blue dot suspended in a sunbeam that we call home.
Rolling with the punches and having a good sense of humor can help you handle the stress
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
Anna and Sarah, from The Wedding Society, previously shared their ideas with Bored Panda on how the marrying couple can deal with embarrassing situations and well-laid plans falling apart.
“Honestly, the only real way to deal with things going wrong on the day is to just roll with the punches and try to have a sense of humor about it. What else can you do?!” they told us.
“There’s no point ruining the day you’ve planned so long and hard for. It’s just a party. What matters is the marriage,” they noted.
However, that doesn’t mean that the family, friends, and organizers can’t help with things. “The mark of a great wedding crew is someone who does whatever they can to reduce the stress for the marrying couple. That looks different for everyone but, at the end of the day, they’re there to help take the burden off you and make your day better and more enjoyable.”
Here’s how the readers reacted to the family wedding drama
A few internet users shared some similar stories
HOW? How does this thought even form in a normal healthy brain?? 'There is a wedding, why not use it as my daughters birthday party?' That is just so ... bizarre. Does she also think 'There is a wedding. Why not use to sell my tupperware stuff'?
To the comment that weddings used to be simple family affairs? When was that? I'm 54 yo and every wedding I've ever been to has been a huge overblown affair and when I look back at old photos from relatives, the last simple wedding I saw was my parents' because they were broke and my dad was on leave. Also, that always bothered my mother that she never got the big wedding she wanted.
My parents got married in 1964. Many of my aunts and uncle's weddings were much bigger though.
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HOW? How does this thought even form in a normal healthy brain?? 'There is a wedding, why not use it as my daughters birthday party?' That is just so ... bizarre. Does she also think 'There is a wedding. Why not use to sell my tupperware stuff'?
To the comment that weddings used to be simple family affairs? When was that? I'm 54 yo and every wedding I've ever been to has been a huge overblown affair and when I look back at old photos from relatives, the last simple wedding I saw was my parents' because they were broke and my dad was on leave. Also, that always bothered my mother that she never got the big wedding she wanted.
My parents got married in 1964. Many of my aunts and uncle's weddings were much bigger though.
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