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“What Were Her Parents Thinking?”: People Share The Most Hilariously Unfortunate Names People Gave Their Kids
Interview
“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” While that was a kind sentiment for Romeo to express about Juliet, I’m not quite sure he would have felt the same way if her name was Moronica or Sh’miracle...
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest names they have ever heard parents give their children, and people did not disappoint in the responses. Below, you’ll find a wide variety of names that prove that not everyone should become a parent, so enjoy scrolling through and counting your blessings if you have a common name!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
North, Saint, Chicago, Psalm.
RELATED:
#2
In my career working at Public Schools I've had two separate children named Tequila Mockingbird. Absolutely unrelated, across the state from each other, but it's weird that it happened twice.
To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Corollo_Bro_91, who posed the question, "What is the dumbest name you've ever heard someone give their child?" Lucky for us, he was happy to have a chat with Bored Panda.
"I decided to ask the question after hearing about some of the silly names my mother was telling me about that she heard from clients at her job," he shared. "My mother took a claim from a client who named her son and daughter King and Queen Majesty." But that's not the only silly name the OP has heard before. "My girlfriend told me her boss just had a baby and is going to name it Iam Magic," he added.
#3
I knew triplets named Cinnamon, Rosemary, and Paprika. People called them "the Spice Girls."
#4
A motorcycle enthusiast named his son Harley, because that made him Harley, David’s son.
#5
Felonie. I’ve been downvoted a lot on Reddit for sharing this because people never believe it’s a real name someone would give a kid. But it is lol
As far as where these names come from, Corollo_Bro_91 says, "I think parents name their kids silly things because they want them to have 'unique' names to be different, but in the end, they just come across as dumb."
We also asked the OP what he advises parents think about before naming their children. "I think parents need to consider how naming their child could affect their social or school life. I've known some people who were bullied horrendously at school for having strange names," he shared.
#6
I do contract-based IT work. Implementation when hospitals buy each other out, stuff like that. Last week I was working with an office manager named MORONICA.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I've definitely worked with people I would've liked to call Moronica! :) I wonder if her parents just didn't know how to spell Monica? Poor woman.
#8
Any time I see a young girl named Nevaeh, I immediately assume she’s the unintended product of a very young single mom barely making ends meet.
And when it comes to what Corollo_Bro_91 thought about the replies to his post, he told Bored Panda, "Some of the answers I got were extremely saddening. I really hope those kids can get through childhood without being made fun of."
#9
My partner is a midwife, she once looked after a couple who were intending to call their daughter “Urethra” - they didn’t know what it meant and just “liked how it sounds”. She had to politely, professionally, give them a quick anatomy lesson.
#10
Wife worked in a bank. Had a regular customer named Dextrose. Always wondered if he had siblings Sucrose and Fructose.
#11
So checking ID, I hear the girls friends calling her Olivia. It was not spelt Olivia. It was spelt Ahliviyah. Why do this to people. You make them waste so much of their lives having to spell their names for people when it could have been a spelling everyone knows!
#12
Rhoshandiatellyneshiaunneveshenkescianneshaimondrischlyndasaccarnaerenquellenendrasamecashaunettethalemeicoleshiwhalhinive'onchellecaundenesheaalausondrilynnejeanetrimyranaekuesaundrilynnezekeriakenvaunetradevonneyavondalatarneskcaevontaepreonkeinesceellaviavelzadawnefriendsettajessicannelesciajoyvaelloydietteyvettesparklenesceaundrieaquenttaekatilyaevea'shauwneoraliaevaekizzieshiyjuanewandalecciannereneitheliapreciousnesceverroneccaloveliatyronevekacarrionnehenriettaescecleonpatrarutheliacharsalynnmeokcamonaeloiesalynnecsiannemerciadellesciaustillaparissalondonveshadenequamonecaalexetiozetiaquaniaenglaundneshiafrancethosharomeshaunnehawaineakowethauandavernellchishankcarlinaaddoneillesciachristondrafawndrealaotrelleoctavionnemiariasarahtashabnequckagailenaxeteshiataharadaponsadeloriakoentescacraigneckadellanierstellavonnemyiatangoneshiadianacorvettinagodtawndrashirlenescekilokoneyasharrontannamyantoniaaquinettesequioadaurilessiaquatandamerceddiamaebellecescajamesauwnneltomecapolotyoajohnyaetheodoradilcyana. The birth certificate over two feet long. The girl's mom named her that just so she could get in the Guinness Book of World Records and get famous. I guess it worked because she has been interviewed on Oprah with her daughter and was semi well known for a while. Supposedly her daughter went and got her name legally changed as soon as she turned 18.
Violet Bunny 2 years ago
Good for the daughter, you'd think ALL these mis-named kids would do that!
#13
Slinky...the parents both loved slinky toys, could do all kinds of things with them, so that's what they named their little girl. It was her real name, my sister was her teacher. There should be a law against stupid parents like this.
#15
Recently saw the program from a relatives preschool graduation ceremony, all of the children’s names were listed. There was a child named Person.
#17
Kerosene. And she would always add “like the gas”. Mom was young and goth.
#18
When my child was born, the people in the room next to us named their kid Pikachu.
You read that right.
Pikachu.
After the Pokemon.
#20
I used to work in banking, and I kid you not, I helped a woman named “Chinesegirl” She was not, in fact, Chinese.
#21
I knew a pair of twin boys in elementary school named Freedom and Friendship.
#22
Reality Winner.
Patrick McIntyre 2 years ago
When I first heard of that name I figured it was thoroughbred racehorse's name.
#24
My wife is a teacher and she has siblings in class named Royalty and Majesty.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
A friend of mine who's a teacher once had a student named Majestic Fox. :)
#25
Tyranny. The mother thought she had made it up. Said it sounded pretty. I think she spelled it Tiranni.
#27
I taught ESL in China. We had a little girl whose American name was Hamburger, and a pair of Twins named Copy and Paste. To be clear, they had normal Chinese names, but these American names also appeared on their passports. Their American names were chosen because their parents like how they sounded.
#28
Dracula. The parents were young meth heads and thankfully the nurses said Drake sounds much better and it's a short version of Dracula after the boy was born. Drake is alive and well, now 18 years old, parents quit the meth years ago, kinda still a messed up family.
#30
Latrina. Like...why?
#31
A woman at my old bank was named Coral Reef. She seemed fine with it but what were her parents thinking.
#32
There was a tv show a couple years ago and the midwife was desperately trying to convince the about-to-be parents to not name their child Syphilis.
Natasha Arruda 2 years ago
I named one of my hermit crabs Syphilis. The other two are Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.
#33
KVIIITLYN. Kaitlyn
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
I remember reading this name in a magazine once and thinking it was ridiculous. I still think it’s ridiculous now
#34
My mom used to work in a day care. One of the kids' was named Surprise Joyous Knight.
Yes, this is true, Mrs. Knight named her kid Surprise Joyous.
Grudge-holding Treefrog 2 years ago
That’s one way to tell your kid that they were an accident
#35
I went to gradeschool with siblings named America, Liberty, and Glory. As I'm sure anyone could guess—yes, I live in the Midwest.
#36
Spatula. Edit to add: this was told to me by an ex-brother-in-law, who worked in a hospital. He overheard a woman chasing her child down the hallway, saying "Spatula! I have two words for you: Be have!" It was pronounced "bee hāve", as if behave were two words.
#37
I once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy. I asked her, "like the cigarettes?" She said, "yes, those were my daddy's favorite smokes."
#38
My uncle went to school with a Rusty Mustard.
#40
I was grading state tests in nyc and graded an 8th grader who’s name was Daddy Yankee.
#41
Alucard. It’s “Dracula” backwards. No, I didn’t ask, but they were quick to tell me.
#43
I knew a Christian family once who named their first two kids Blessed and Saved, then the rest had normal names.
#44
I work at a civil war site. One of the Confederate generals was named States Rights Gist. That was his actual name. States Rights.
#45
Scotthew. I worked in labor and delivery. We had a pair of stoners who couldn't decide between Scott or Matthew, so they just merged the two. Honestly, it's just one of many dumb ones I encountered.
#46
I work in a elementary school. Tesla, Success, Prosperity and Gospel (not related).
#48
I was entering in the name of a newborn for a customer, when looking at the list of all the other children, I saw one child with a first name of Boy. I had to look twice, but sure enough, the child’s first name was Boy. 😖
#49
Handsome Stranger. . . Seriously. The kids legal first name was Handsome Stranger. He was named after his father.
#50
Coworker couldn't decide between Sarah and Cassandra so they named the baby Casarah. Also worked with a girl named Kahlua.
Names often carry a significant meaning, but some parents opt for ones that can be sources of ridicule. While discussing unusual children’s names on Reddit, the theme of nickname-related embarrassment naturally arises.
It is quite similar to situations where individuals have to endure awkward labels given by peers, making it essential to consider the long-term impacts of these decisions.
#51
Shy Ann; Tarantula.
#52
I rode the bus in high school with boy/girl twins named Clark and Candy Barr. On the same bus were four sisters: Mary Ann, Mary Catherine, Mary Patricia, and Mary Louise.
#55
Dijonaise.
#56
My brother played on a basketball team with a kid named Braxton Hicks. I wish I was joking 🫠
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I wonder if he would pretend he was going to shoot the basketball but then not actually do it for another few weeks? :)
#57
I knew two kids named Wizdom and Knowledge.
#59
Vyolence.
#61
Jessa Duggar named her first kid Spurgeon (sic).
#62
My bff from high school (who is a huge hippie) named her girl tyger jellybean Jardine.
#64
Trivia for a girl. Nice girl. Terrible name.
gotham-panda 2 years ago (edited)
Trivia was a Roman Goddess actually. And crossroads were sacred to her, hence her name. Her Greek counterpart is Hekate. Parents could be mythology buffs, or Pagans. It's also pronounced Tre-vee-ah, not triv-ee-ah.
#65
Shakalakah… my mom taught her back in like the 1st grade…. Then I had an ex drill instructor who was one of my coaches and they named their first son Sergeant Major… I f*****g cried for that boy
#66
I know of a pair of twins in the Marshall Islands named "Rocket Brain" and "Lindborg Brain" Also another kid named "Cinderella Silk".
#67
Orange. It's not a translation or a nickname, but after the fruit itself. People keep thinking his name is George and he's just too young to pronounce it correctly but nope, his parents got their inspiration from the produce department.
#68
A friend worked in medical records in a hospital and a couple named their daughter Velveeta Cheese Scott.
#69
I used to work in daycares and I’ve seen so many. The 2 that stand out are Master and Beaujanerous.
#70
One of the worst that comes to mind in recent times. Jizzelle The person's name was, honest to god, Jizzelle.
#72
Venison. (Possibly spelled differently since I neglected to ask the woman screaming "Get over here Venison!" in a Big Lots.)
#73
Starberry.
soulless duck (she/her) 2 years ago
Sounds kind of pretty, for a colour or a fruit or something
#74
Riot…..should look good on the resume..
#76
Quetzalcoatl after the Mayan snake god. He said his friends called him Q. Twin boys in elementary school named Knox and Knoll. Overhead someone named their daughter Willow because the dad caught a salmon at Willow beach the day before her birth.
#77
Kar’tel
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
The Godfather is looking for you, Kar'tel. On the double, capeesh??!!!
#78
I grew up with a boy whose name was Tater Pitts.
#81
Girl I was in HS with named Sparkle. Kid in my daughter's kindergarten class was named Legend.
#83
Kal-El.
#84
I met a kid named Nimrod once. I felt so bad for him.
#85
Girl I know named her kid Troxel.
#86
My dad told me once he interviewed a lady named Tinyneesha. Thought he was f*****g with me until I saw her working at food-4-less several months later.
#87
My first year of teaching I had a student with the last name Mahal. First name? Taj. Correct. Taj Mahal.
#88
my sister works as an obstetrician in Switzerland. Before moving abroad, she did an internship here in Italy, where we were both born. A couple was undecided wether naming their son "Domenico" or "Antonio". In the end, they decided to call him "Domenicantonio".
#89
townslee, yep. I heard someone scream “ TOWNSLEE GET OVER HERE!!! “ as I was sitting down eating at universal studios in Orlando florida in the summer of 2021.
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
I'm betting that there are plenty of g's and h's in the parent's spelling of that name.
#90
Hold my beer! In Russia, they once tried to register the name "BOTCH rVF 260602" (A Human Biological Object of the Voronin-Frolov family, born on June 26, 2002)
#91
Dweezil.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
It's not his real name, though. His real name is Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa.
#92
I was at an amusement park the other day and heard a mother calling for her daughter… J’precious… or maybe Japrecious… I don’t know the specifics, but that is what I heard.
#93
Worst names of people I know or their kids’ names-Sparkle, Princess, Justus.
#98
Wayne Train. If you're out there Wayne, I think of you often.
Doug the Special one 2 years ago
Not much worse than Paul Hole. P.Hole , he had a difficult time at school.
#99
I had twins in my first year of teaching and they were Alizé and Hennessy. Those poor kids!
Annik Perrot 2 years ago
Alizée is kind of common in France, ever since à famous navigator called his daughter so. It's the name of a wind. Here a name can be refused by the state "in the child's interest" if it's ridiculous or has bad connotations... or goes badly with the family name. There was a trial to decide if people called Renault could call their daughter Megane, like the brand's most popular car at the time.
#101
Gaylord.
Upstaged75 2 years ago (edited)
That's an old fashioned but very traditional name. From before the word gay had the connotation it does now. My mom has a childhood (1950's) friend named Gay. Unfortunately for her, her last name was Bender. ;) Although I think that was her maiden name, so she probably changed it after getting married. A Gay Bender could be someone's idea of a fabulous weekend. LOL!
#102
Candida 🤦🏽♀️😬
Lola Rogers 2 years ago
Well, yes, but Candida is a very common first name. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candida_(given_name)
#104
Theres this kid named "LA World" at my job.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
I think the only time LA is acceptable in a name is if the surname is Knight. Yeah!!!
#105
Chevelle and wouldn’t you believe it they got made fun of. Honorable mention Comfort.
John Baker 2 years ago
Names like Comfort, Prudence, Chastity and Patience were popular in colonial times.
#106
Apple
#107
Omega.
#108
Stetson. Guess we’ve just resorted to naming kids after clothes.
John Baker 2 years ago
Stetson is a legitimate name, but it's a last name, not a first name. Of course, using surnames as given names isn't exactly a new thing.
#110
I was on a beach in Cyprus when I heard a mother call out to her kid in a think northern accent “Mozart, nooo” who’d call their kid Mozart 🙈
What do you think ?
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
My name is Crystal. I was named after a chandelier. (Parents couldn't think of a name for me when they were adopting me at birth, so they called my grandma, who looked up at her bedroom chandelier and suggested "Crystal".) I got teased relentlessly about my name by other kids in grade school and middle school. If kids teased ME for "Crystal", they're going to be BRUTAL to some of these other poor kids :/
Tee Rat 2 years ago (edited)
What weird kids make fun of Crystal? If your last name was meth I could understand.
Load More Replies...
John Baker 2 years ago
This one might be hard to believe, but, unfortunately for the poor girls in question (who are now adults), it's true. I went to high school back in the late '60s with a guy with the last name Sweet. He and his girlfriend were very straight-laced and conservative, the kind of teens that just don't exist anymore. They were forty when they were sixteen, if that makes sense. Anyway, after graduation, they got married, as we all knew they would, and over the course of the next several years, had three daughters. Their names? Really, Truly and Always.
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago (edited)
I know a guy named Mike Miketon. Greatest name ever. EDIT: I also knew a girl whose first name was Shy Angel.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
My name is Crystal. I was named after a chandelier. (Parents couldn't think of a name for me when they were adopting me at birth, so they called my grandma, who looked up at her bedroom chandelier and suggested "Crystal".) I got teased relentlessly about my name by other kids in grade school and middle school. If kids teased ME for "Crystal", they're going to be BRUTAL to some of these other poor kids :/
Tee Rat 2 years ago (edited)
What weird kids make fun of Crystal? If your last name was meth I could understand.
Load More Replies... John Baker 2 years ago
This one might be hard to believe, but, unfortunately for the poor girls in question (who are now adults), it's true. I went to high school back in the late '60s with a guy with the last name Sweet. He and his girlfriend were very straight-laced and conservative, the kind of teens that just don't exist anymore. They were forty when they were sixteen, if that makes sense. Anyway, after graduation, they got married, as we all knew they would, and over the course of the next several years, had three daughters. Their names? Really, Truly and Always.
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago (edited)
I know a guy named Mike Miketon. Greatest name ever. EDIT: I also knew a girl whose first name was Shy Angel.
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