164 Disney Jokes That’ll Bring The Magic Of Laughter To Your Day
Disney animations and movies, undoubtedly, have played a huge part in all of our childhoods. The magical adventures we saw there inspired us to reach for the stars, the morals in each story shaped us to be good citizens, and the fun in them kept us entertained for hours. Oh, and don’t forget the enchanting musical numbers that taught us to sing and dance! Yet, as we turned into adults, the overboard charm and the talking animals and the always-righteous princesses started to seem a bit… funny? And while Disney movies still hold a very special place in our hearts, why not make a bit of fun out of the tropes we gawked at as kids and the stories that now might even look a bit nonsensical. If you agree with us, you’ve opened exactly the right article, for this is our list of the best Disney jokes that will hopefully make your day at least a little bit brighter.
So, what should you expect from these silly jokes? Well, some Disney puns, for starters, as this world seems to be the perfect breeding ground for adorable wordplays. Then, there’s, of course, the category of real-life people meeting fictional characters, which is always a good premise for a quality joke. And lastly, there are our beloved cartoon characters stranded in laugh-out-loud situations, and it is just jovial to see it through their eyes. To sum it up, these cute jokes will look into every aspect of the Disney world, catering to the needs of fans of even the most obscure and overlooked productions of the studio.
With all that said, it is probably time we skipped straight to the funny Disney jokes, right? Once you are there, don’t forget to vote for the magical jokes you liked the most and show how good a friend you are by sharing this article with your Disney-crazed compadres!
Disneyland prices are now well over $100 a person. Maybe now they’ll buy Donald Duck some pants.
Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant and Luke’s having trouble eating with the chopsticks.
Finally, Obi-Wan says, “Use the forks, Luke.”
How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?
Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
Who’s the funniest Disney princess?
If you watch The Lion King closely, you’ll notice lots of Simba-lism!
Which Disney princess would make the best judge?
Snow White, because she’s the fairest of them all!
What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
What do you say to Simba when he’s walking too slow?
What do you call a droid that likes taking the scenic route?
Why was Tigger’s head stuck in the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh.
Why does Alice ask so many questions?
Because she’s in Wonderland.
Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files?
Adobe Wan Kenobi!
Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
To shop at the second-hand store.
What does LEGO Elsa sing?
How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland?
"Welcome to the Park side."
What did a guy say to the Muppets?
"It looks like you need a hand."
What does the Child from The Mandalorian write in his Valentine’s cards?
"Baby Yoda one for me!"
What do you call Elsa when she locked herself in her room for years?
Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?
Because the carton said “concentrate”
What happened the first time Mickey and Minnie saw each other?
It was a glove at first sight!
"Does the God of Thunder like ice cream?"
"Sure, but he prefers Thor-bet."
What kind of blush does Mulan wear?
What does EPCOT stand for?
Every person comes out tired.
What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak.
What do you call Olaf in the desert?
How does the ocean say hello to Ariel?
Did you hear of the Marvel character that’s always ready for summer?
Why is Gaston the most peaceful Disney villain?
Because he won the No-Belle Prize
How cold was it at Disney World?
Donald Duck was wearing pants!
What kind of car does Minnie drive?
Mickey Mouse was arrested for identity theft.
He was charged with being Goofy.
Which state reminds Mickey of his girlfriend?
Why did Elsa buy a new laptop?
Her old one was frozen.
What’s Elsa’s favorite type of party?
Why does Sven hate pulling Kristoff’s sleigh?
It’s a bit of a drag.
Where does Elsa keep her money?
In a snowbank.
Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?
Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs?
6 out of 7 of them aren’t happy.
Why did Woody buy Bulls Eye some cough medicine?
Because he was so horse.
It’s Thorsday, The Avengers' favorite day of the week.
A man went to see the doctor and exclaimed, “Doctor, I need your help. Some mornings I wake up thinking I’m Mickey Mouse, and other times I think I’m Donald Duck!” The doctor nodded. “I see. And how long have you been having these Disney spells?”
Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?
Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes?
He always has a hunch!
Who is Thor’s favorite rapper?
"Is BB hungry?"
What did Pooh Bear say when Rabbit offered him some more honey?
"No thank you, I’m stuffed."
What is Captain Jack Sparrow’s favorite restaurant?
What Disney character likes to fix things?
What’s Minnie’s favorite thing to wear?
Rick Astley has a huge collection of Disney movies and he’ll share any of them with you if you ask. Except for one. He’s never gonna give you Up.
What tablet does Mickey Mouse use to browse the internet?
An iPad Minnie.
I bought a Mickey Mouse jigsaw puzzle. It said 3 to 5 years on it. It only took me 15 months to finish.
Did you know there’s going to be a sequel to Frozen?
It will be called Defrosted.
What is Olaf’s favorite drink?
How does Olaf make his bed?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why are there no planes where Peter Pan lives?
Because there is a sign that says, “Never Neverland.”
What do Ariel and her under the sea friends sing at Christmas?
Where do Tarzan and friends shop?
The jungle sales.
Radiator Springs is wheely a great place to live. You auto swing by some time.
What kind of monster loves to disco?
How do Ewoks communicate?
On their Ewokie-talkies!
Did you know things are so bad that even Captain Jack Sparrow has had trouble making ends meet?
He can barely afford to keep a skeleton crew.
What do you get if you cross Donald with a whale?
What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?
"Hello, it’s Smee!"
Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
So he could visit Pluto!
Why can’t you trust Scar?
Because he’s a lion.
Why did Jasmine go to the fruit stand in the marketplace?
She was looking for a date.
What do you call a pirate who skips school?
What did Mickey Mouse say when Minnie Mouse asked if he was listening?
"I’m all ears."
What should you say if Donald throws a ball at you?
Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?
The Lost-and-Flounder Department.
What’s wrong with Mickey Mouse’s helicopter?
What did Mickey Mouse say to the doctor when he hurt his leg?
What’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite sport?
What happened the first time Mickey and Minnie saw each other?
It was glove at first sight.
Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?
Because he’s not a planet.
What type of phone does Olaf have?
Why does Olaf keep his money in the freezer?
Because he wants cold, hard cash.
Why did Elsa’s credit card get rejected?
Because her account was frozen.
What is Olaf’s favorite Mexican dish?
I saw a lot of kids wearing Elsa costumes for Halloween today. It’s been years since the movie was released. I think kids should just Let it Go.
What do you call a stupid Disney character?
"Thanks for the offer, I’ll Mulan it over."
We’re alive and Belle.
It’s o-fish-al, clownfish are the funniest in the ocean.
What takeaway does Lightning McQueen order?
The God of thunder’s favorite dessert is always Thor-bet.
Why do Texas baseball fans love Chip & Dale?
They’ve been known to Rescue Rangers.
Are any Halloween monsters good at math?
No, unless you are Count Dracula!
Who is always watching over Thor?
His Asgardian angel.
Where do Disney characters like to eat?
What is Clarabelle's favorite party game?
What does the rapper Lil Jon say when he visits Disneyland?
"Turn down for Walt"
How does Scarlet Witch channel her magic?
With a magic Wanda!
I just had an encounter with the God of Mischief. It was Loki terrifying!
Disney is releasing a version of Tangled with an alternate ending where Rapunzel’s hair isn’t chopped off at the end. They’re calling it the Uncut Edition.
What kind of fairy doesn’t take a bath?
What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas Carol?
What is Mickey’s favorite treat?
Why did Dopey stare at the label on the orange juice all day?
Because the carton said concentrate.
Why did Mickey Mouse cross the road?
He was going on a Minnie vacation.
Why was Mickey Mouse such a hero?
He gave Minnie mouse to mouse resuscitation.
What kind of birthday cake does Elsa like?
The kind with lots of frosting and icing.
What did Elsa say when she slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, she gave everyone the cold shoulder.
"If your name is Ariel, I really think we’re mer-maid for each other."
How did the Cheshire cat become so wise?
He always reads the mews!
Why did Arlo help Spot cross the road?
Because he was "The Good Dinosaur".
What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick?
"Put it on my bill!"
What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner?
That hit the spot.
What kind of shoes does Simba wear?
Why didn’t Anna & Elsa’s parents teach them the whole alphabet?
Because they got lost at C.
Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom?
Snow White asked him to draw the curtains.
What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favorite drink?
Captain Hook is single-handedly my favorite Disney villain.
What’s the opposite of Disney?
Why did Mickey Mouse need a club?
To make Donald Duck.
An assassin is running toward Donald Trump. His personal bodyguard sees him and shouts, “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the assassin and he runs off in the other direction. Trump turns to his bodyguard and says, “Thank you, but why did you yell Mickey Mouse?” The bodyguard replies, “Sorry Sir, I meant to say, Donald, Duck.”
I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse but I didn’t get the part. The director said I was too Goofy.
What did Elsa do in her ice castle before Anna arrived?
She just chilled.
What does Olaf eat for lunch?
A Disney princess was arrested by mistake.
They thought it was someone Elsa.
How do you ask Scar to stop being so mean?
Be a bit more Simbathetic!
What did Cinderella Dolphin wear to the ball?
Her glass flipper.
What does Frosty’s wife put on her face at night?
What’s a bee’s favorite Disney movie?
Beauty And The Bees.
Hmm, it doesn’t ring a Belle.
I’m off to a buy and Belle sale.
What did Ariel excel at when she was at school?
What does Woody say whenever he visits a car showroom?
Did you hear about Nemo’s adventures when he went into battle?
He got caught behind anemone lines.
What do the Monsters Inc gang like to do in the winter?
They Mike Wazow-ski.
Want an Avenger you can trust?
Call on the Credible-Hulk.
Whenever Mickey steps out to perform, he and his friends bring the ‘mouse’ down.
When does Mickey Mouse hang up next year’s calendar?
New Ears Eve.
Why was the Jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?
He had no guts.
"Did you hear how Captain Hook died?"
Do you guys know why Disneyland closed?
It was because of Sneezy.
What do you call a long pen?
What does Donald wear to a famous Hollywood party?
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball—not to mention, she has a pumpkin for a coach!
What do the seven dwarves sing if they see a rainbow on their way to the mine?
High Hue, High Hue!
What does Ariel like on her toast?
What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her photos?
"Some day my prints will come."
Why did the lions go to Simba’s naming ceremony?
Because it was the mane event.
Two friends had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying “Disney World left”. After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said “Oh well!” and started driving back home.
Who’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite pop star?
What is Grumpy’s favorite fruit?
How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.
Why did Sleepy take firewood to bed with him?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
What does MGM stand for?
Mickey’s got money.
Where on your body is Mickey Mouse closest to?
What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car?
A rodent just ran through my kitchen. I got him with my Mickey Mouse club.
Which Disney Princess is a cow’s favorite?
How do you keep Pumba from charging you?
Take away his credit cards.
Why did the cookie go to see Doc McStuffins?
Because it was feeling crummy
Why is Cinderella terrible at netball?
Because she always runs away from the ball.
This is a whole different Belle-Game.
The Disney Ducks are early risers, Donald and Daisy wake at the quack of dawn.
What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear?
A lot of stuff, there’s 4 whole movies plus some short films.