“Is He Ok?”: Teens Break The Rules During Sleepover, Dad Calls Parents And Sends Them Home

Parenting teens is no walk in the park. Many experts will tell you that setting and enforcing boundaries is crucial. It helps create a safe and nurturing space for them to explore the world as they grow and seek out their independence. When teenagers don’t know where the boundaries are, they’ll test them and push you to your limits.

One dad has shared how he agreed to let his 17-year-old daughter’s friends sleep over. When he went to check on the girls, he found them in his stepson’s bedroom, breaking one of two simple rules he’d set for them. The father lost it. And sleepover drama ensued. Bored Panda spoke to parenting expert and founder of The Peaceful Parent, Lisa Smith to get her advice on setting and enforcing boundaries for teens.

The journey of parenting might make you want to pull your hair out at times

Man looking stressed and contemplative indoors, reflecting on enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover.

Image credits: stevanovicigor/Envato (not the actual photo)

This dad hit a wall with his teen after she blatantly ignored the boundaries he set

Man discussing enforcing basic boundaries on his teenage daughter's sleepover in a family home setting.

Text excerpt discussing a child's need for personal space and boundaries during a sleepover situation.

Parent setting basic boundaries for daughter's sleepover guests to ensure peaceful and respectful behavior during visit.

Text about enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover to keep things quiet after 11 for the house to sleep.

Parent enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover, checking on teens quietly in bedroom at night.

Teenage girl looking thoughtful outdoors, illustrating enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover.

Image credits:  astrakanimages/Envato (not the actual photo)

Teenagers at a daughter's sleepover with enforced basic boundaries, involving casual activities and quiet giggling.

Parent enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover after guests break the given rules unexpectedly.

Text excerpt discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover and handling conflict with parents.

Parent enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover, managing conflicts while ensuring kids’ wellbeing and sleep.

Image credits: Mountain-Dot824

“Teenagers aren’t tiny adults with reliable executive function”: an expert weighs in

Teens are neurologically wired to test limits, get swept up in the moment, and forget what seemed obvious just hours before. That’s the word from parenting coach and founder of The Peaceful Parent, Lisa Smith. Bored Panda reached out to Smith to see if she has any advice for the dad. She told us that “with no judgment,” she believes this was simply a missed opportunity for proactive leadership.

“While the father set reasonable boundaries upfront, he placed a lot of responsibility on his 17-year-old daughter to both communicate and enforce them. This is where many well-meaning parents falter,” explained Smith during our interview.

“Teen brains are still developing—particularly the prefrontal cortex, which governs judgment, impulse control, and long-term thinking,” she explained. “Add the excitement of a sleepover, peer influence, and a dash of teen mischief, and you have a recipe for forgotten rules, even well-intentioned ones.”

Image credits: malte/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Smith says a more supportive approach could have included:

• Gathering all the girls upon arrival for a quick ground rules review:
  “Hey, just so we’re all clear—Noah’s room is off-limits. He needs his space respected. Deal?” This small act not only sets expectations, it models how to respect emotional boundaries.
• Checking in more than once.
  This isn’t about hovering—it’s about acknowledging that even older teens benefit from gentle adult presence during emotionally charged or socially complex situations.
• Equipping Noah with an escape plan.
  A quiet conversation beforehand—“If anything feels off, just text me or say the word and I’ll come get you”—could’ve given him the power to advocate for himself without confrontation.

These aren’t just logistics, says the expert. “They’re part of creating an emotionally safe family culture, where everyone knows that if something goes wrong, there’s a plan to get help—without shame.”

Smith adds that no further punishment or discipline is necessary. “Grounding here could misplace the responsibility,” she told us. “The father created the rule but didn’t equip his daughter—or the guests—with what was needed to uphold it. She was set up to fail.”

The expert believes he should instead, focus on having a conversation with his daughter. This will help her understand why her stepbrother, Noah, was so upset—his boundaries weren’t just preferences, they were about emotional safety.

A restorative act, like a note or apology to Noah might also help to acknowledge the harm and start repair. “Planning future events together with clear roles—so Anya learns to co-own emotional safety, not enforce it alone,” adds Smith.

The coach tells us that all is not lost. The family can still live peacefully, despite their personality differences. “Respecting difference is key,” she warned. This means protecting sacred spaces (like Noah’s room) without compromise, giving Anya appropriate outlets for her social energy—with structure and building empathy by naming what each child needs to feel safe and seen.

Why are boundaries important for teens and younger children?

Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Smith says that boundaries help kids feel safe so that they know what to expect. They also show them that they’re loved. “Rules show someone is watching out for them,” she explained. Boundaries also provide clarity, which is good for their mental health. “They understand limits, which actually reduces anxiety,” Smith explains.

She says the best way for a parent to enforce boundaries is to keep it simple and clear. There should be no gray areas. “Explain the ‘why.’ Kids are more likely to respect boundaries when they understand the reason behind them,” adds the expert.

“Follow through calmly,” she suggests, adding that consistency builds trust. And finally, Smith says parents should model the behavior they with to see. “Show them that adults respect boundaries, too,” she told Bored Panda.

“Why are you even asking this?”: The father provided some more info in the comments section

Comments discussing enforcing basic boundaries and handling kids' behavior during a daughter's sleepover situation.

Reddit discussion about enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover with parental concerns and rule questions.

Comment discussing autism and ADHD symptoms in relation to behaviors during a daughter's sleepover boundaries enforcement.

Text excerpt discussing enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover, including advice on handling interruptions.

Text conversation discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover and handling neurodivergence concerns.

“What was she expecting after she broke the rules???”: Netizens praised the dad for how he handled it

Comment on enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover, discussing reasonable rules and consequences.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover situation.

Screenshot of a user comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover and consequences for privacy violation.

Screenshot of a parenting forum comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover situation.

Screenshot of a forum comment supporting enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover conflict.

Screenshot of a user comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover trust and rules violation.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover, emphasizing discipline and consequences for misbehavior.

Screenshot of an online forum comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover.

Screenshot of an online forum comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover rules.

Comment text on a white background discussing issues about enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover.

Comment expressing gratitude for enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover, highlighting care and seriousness.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover, addressing aggressive and inappropriate behavior.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover and the importance of accountability at age 17.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover and sibling bullying issues in a family conflict.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover to protect family dynamics.

Comment text discussing enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover to protect privacy and safety.

Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover, calling behavior unacceptable.

Comment on enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover, addressing bullying and parental support concerns.

Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover and parents' reactions.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover and addressing rule-breaking behavior.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover to ensure privacy.

Comment discussing enforcing boundaries on daughter's sleepover, suggesting banning sleepovers at home temporarily.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover situation.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover with consequences for broken rules and lessons to learn.

Reddit comment praising enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover as appropriate and excellent parenting.

Comment on enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover, supporting parental control and respect for stepson.

Comment explaining the importance of enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover for respect and consequences.

Comment from user copperfrog42 discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover with firm parental stance.

Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover to respect privacy and personal space.

Comment section text praising enforcing basic boundaries on daughter's sleepover as great parenting advice for new parents.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries on a daughter's sleepover privacy issues.

Comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover and consequences of her actions.

Not everyone took the dad’s side, and some felt he went too far

Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during daughter's sleepover and communication challenges with teenagers.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing enforcement of basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover.

Reddit comment discussing enforcing basic boundaries during a daughter's sleepover and handling rule-breaking fairly.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!