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21
“Can You Imagine Mums Doing That?” Dad Goes To A Festival While His Daughter Is In The Hospital
The only thing scarier than being hospitalized yourself is watching one of your loved ones be admitted. It’s easy to feel helpless and overwhelmed, but the only thing you can do is stay by their side and try to show support.
However, one father decided that his 12-year-old daughter didn’t even need him around while she was ill, as he decided to go attend a music festival instead. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man’s wife recently posted on Mumsnet, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
RELATED:
This mom’s life was turned upside down when her daughter was admitted into the hospital
Image credits: bialasiewicz / envato (not the actual photo)
But her husband decided that it would be appropriate to attend a music festival while their daughter was struggling
Image credits: Rawpixel / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Hopetheportaloosareminging
It can be extremely difficult for parents to cope while their child is in the hospital
Hearing that your child needs to stay in the hospital for an extended period of time can be heartbreaking. Even if you know they’re safe and receiving the best treatment possible, a loving parent can’t help but worry about their little one. There’s so much uncertainty when someone is in the hospital, so it’s best for families to come together during these difficult times.
As far as how parents can cope when their children are hospitalized, the NHS notes that it can be helpful to develop a daily routine. Visiting at the same time each day, playing games with or reading books to your child and forming regular mealtimes and bedtimes can help everything feel a bit more “normal.” And it can relieve some of the pressure on the parents when they don’t have to constantly think about what to do next.
It’s also crucial for parents to have support systems as well. Having friends and loved ones to lean on can make a huge difference during such a stressful time. It might even be wise to start seeing a psychologist. While their kiddos will always be their top priority, it’s important that parents don’t neglect their own health – physical or mental.
Now, another key responsibility parents have during this time is helping their little ones cope with the trauma of being hospitalized. This can be extremely scary for anyone, especially a young person who may not fully understand what they’re experiencing.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network recommends being extremely patient with children while they’re in the hospital. They’re going through a lot, and it’s perfectly normal for there to be lots of crying, some tantrums and perhaps even some acting out. But if you can, as a parent, try to help them understand exactly what is happening, so they don’t feel so out of control.
The child deserves to be both parents’ top priority
Image credits: KaterinaDalemans / envato (not the actual photo)
At the same time, try to create an environment where your child feels safe expressing their worries and feelings. It likely won’t be easy for them to articulate exactly what’s going on in their head. But if they feel comfortable openly expressing themself, you might be able to help them find the words they’re looking for and get some of their emotions off of their chest.
Moms and dads might also be able to help their kids see the hospital staff in a positive light. Nurses and doctors can seem scary when they’re always bringing medicine or giving shots, but parents can help their kids feel at ease by reminding them just how wonderful the hospital staff is.
Now, another factor in this story is the fact that the father simply wasn’t worried about being by his daughter’s side in the hospital. And while she did have her mother around, it’s important to remember that children can greatly benefit from having two loving, involved parents.
In fact, Childpsych reports that children raised by attentive fathers tend to have higher self-esteem, greater self confidence, and develop better cognitive and emotional skills. If a dad has the opportunity to show support to his child, why wouldn’t he do everything he could to be there for them?
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you were in the mother’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.
Later, the mother responded to several comments to share more background information
Many readers made it clear that they were not impressed by how the father handled this situation
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What do you think ?
Dusty's mom 5 months ago
I didn't understand any of the mother's description of her child's ailments. What do all those acronyms stand for? But dad is clearly a piece of hog poop.
SewingStaffy 5 months ago
Dear Daughter, Dear Husband, Dear Son. Eating Disorder. It’s from mums net and they insist on calling everyone Dear, even if they are a complete a*s.
Load More Replies...
Patrick H 5 months ago (edited)
"Long story short, [designated driver] 12 has been in and out of hospital the last couple of weeks having to have her [Open Broadcaster Software] done as a result of an [erectile dysfunction] that has really accelerated in the last few weeks." // So, their twelfth designated driver had to go to the hospital to check on their video editing and erectile problems? Did I understand that correctly? Also, why does she care if the designated hitter goes to Glastonbury? Do they play baseball in Glastonbury or is he on vacation?
SewingStaffy 5 months ago
Honestly, she’s in the wrong. If she didn’t want him to go, she needed to tell him that. I hate all this “jokingly said” NO be specific. I swear half the breakups could have been avoided by just speaking up and saying what you actually want
Laugh or not 5 months ago
He is an adult, with at least two children, one of them very sick. He is responsible for the choices he makes. Asking another adult for permission is just a manipulative way to transfer responsibility. If he doesn't know he needs to be present for his sick daughter, it is on him.
Load More Replies...
Earonn - 5 months ago
"Oh, but you allowed him to go". Yes, and left it to HIS conscious. Because we are not your mommies, guys. If you want us to make the adult decisions for you, grab a nappy and stop having children with us. BTW: his conscious clearly had no issue leaving his daughter with an eating disorder alone FOR A F*****G FESTIVAL! This was not the final concert of Queen. This is an annual festival he wasn't interested in enough before to even get tickets!
Enuya 5 months ago (edited)
Why do they always use "DEAR husband, DEAR wife, DEAR whoever else" when it's obvious that during writing the post they think about the person as anything but "dear"?
K Barnes 5 months ago
That really bugs me, too. My DH is an a*s. Not so dear, then. Or when they write ex-DH.
Load More Replies...
Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
Stop diagnosing everyone as autistic. A medical professional has to make that diagnosis. Some people are just pieces of s**t.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 5 months ago
He's a plain old garden variety chancey spouse. Probably more just sneakily manipulative than autistic because he managed to change for a whole year just as she was leaving. Recognise the simple answer, see him for his uncomplicated selfish self, and leave.
AngelWingsYT 5 months ago
Hello psychologist to be here (in my masters) what ppl dont understand about autism is that they do see things very different from us. They can also take things VERY literally n miss social cues. While on the surface for us who are neurotypical what he did was "TA" however he isnt neruotypical and missed the sarcasm/joke in wife's tone. He took it *literally* that isnt his fault. Wife knows he is on spectum n should have taken that into account n spoke direct to him "i get you are excited for this but i need you here with me please" this was miscommunication that coulda been avoided.
spacer 5 months ago
autism can overlap or show similar signs to antisocial personality disorder, but its always just a wild guess unless you speak with a professional. autism shows in different ways for different people, you know
Jean Novotny 5 months ago
It doesn't mean we're uncaring or unempathtic. We just have a hard time showing it.
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 5 months ago
This guy is clearly not capable of being in a relationship. He's only able to fake it for so long. At this point, you have to accept this is who he is and move on. It's foolish to expect someone this oblivious and empathy challenged to change. They can't, they're just missing that part.
EpicPac 5 months ago
Long story short, he asked for permission to go do something while kid was sick. OP is trying to figure if their wrong. Like yes you should not bed to ask for permission to go to something. You should not go to something with a sick kid, Like just be a partner. Why is this a conversation when you have a sick kid.
K Barnes 5 months ago (edited)
The husband is a huge AH if he left for a festival in this situation but I have a problem with the mom not telling him "no, you can't go, our daughter is hospitalized and you need to be home to care for our son and be available for the daughter if needed" instead of saying "it's up to you, go if you want". He's disgusting for even asking to go, but she should have answered with a clear no. I have a bigger problem with her then commenting she doesn't know if he even went and is waiting to see how long it takes him to message her. She needs to grow up and learn to communicate. He needs to learn how to parent.
Weak Knees 5 months ago
If you can't be grown up enough to figure out the obvious but must look to someone else to make adult decisions for you, please don't procreate - or act surprised when you wind up alone.
Load More Replies... Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
Conscience, people! Conscience, conscience, conscience! Let your conscience be your guide! And, BTW, dad hasn’t got one.
Melissa Harris 5 months ago
Hope the OP just diches him. He's selfish and doesn't care about his daughter or relationship. The girl has a mental health issue likely due to living in a household where her father is a selfish a**e and mum is constantly stressed and distressed from his immature selfish behavior.
Anony Mouse 5 months ago
She set a trap, and put him through tests then was (shocked pikachu face) when he failed. How long has she been enabling this sort of behavior? Sure he’s an a$$, but this needs couples therapy instead of “gotcha” moments.
Jean Novotny 5 months ago (edited)
It wasn't a trap. She was being sarcastic and didn't think he would actually leave.
Load More Replies... 
Crystalwitch60 5 months ago
Ok so your daughter wouldn’t have noticed if dad was home , but ffs you do notice , and you are the one as he should be supporting , ed,s are no joke ( recovering anorexic here ) n I’m a lot lot older n a mum , to in kids it’s awful , scary no one likes their kids being ill ( with the exception of your husband it seems ) ! He needs to husband and father up ! he has responsibilities, n cannot just bog off when. He chooses , no word nothing , I mean not even a text or a call checking in on his daughter or you , n your son , even if he is on Xbox most of time , I can assure you he will be scared worried , n his dad doing a disappearing act ain’t gonna help him one bit !! I love gasto , would never go mind to many people , so I record it all he could have done that ffs n gone in two yrs time when it’s back on n daughter is hopefully better , I think lovely you have some thinking to do once the lass is on the mend , and u have time to think straight x blessed be x thoughts n prays to x
Chewie Baron 5 months ago (edited)
I’ve been a few times, but when I was young and had no responsibilities. It’s better to watch it on TV.
Tamra 5 months ago
What's this mentality of men who get married and father children, then shove their heads up their a$$es and act like irresponsible teenagers, tending only to their own needs and ignoring the fact they need to actually parent the kids they bring into the world?
Load More Replies...
Dusty's mom 5 months ago
I didn't understand any of the mother's description of her child's ailments. What do all those acronyms stand for? But dad is clearly a piece of hog poop.
SewingStaffy 5 months ago
Dear Daughter, Dear Husband, Dear Son. Eating Disorder. It’s from mums net and they insist on calling everyone Dear, even if they are a complete a*s.
Load More Replies... Patrick H 5 months ago (edited)
"Long story short, [designated driver] 12 has been in and out of hospital the last couple of weeks having to have her [Open Broadcaster Software] done as a result of an [erectile dysfunction] that has really accelerated in the last few weeks." // So, their twelfth designated driver had to go to the hospital to check on their video editing and erectile problems? Did I understand that correctly? Also, why does she care if the designated hitter goes to Glastonbury? Do they play baseball in Glastonbury or is he on vacation?
SewingStaffy 5 months ago
Honestly, she’s in the wrong. If she didn’t want him to go, she needed to tell him that. I hate all this “jokingly said” NO be specific. I swear half the breakups could have been avoided by just speaking up and saying what you actually want
Laugh or not 5 months ago
He is an adult, with at least two children, one of them very sick. He is responsible for the choices he makes. Asking another adult for permission is just a manipulative way to transfer responsibility. If he doesn't know he needs to be present for his sick daughter, it is on him.
Load More Replies... Earonn - 5 months ago
"Oh, but you allowed him to go". Yes, and left it to HIS conscious. Because we are not your mommies, guys. If you want us to make the adult decisions for you, grab a nappy and stop having children with us. BTW: his conscious clearly had no issue leaving his daughter with an eating disorder alone FOR A F*****G FESTIVAL! This was not the final concert of Queen. This is an annual festival he wasn't interested in enough before to even get tickets!
Enuya 5 months ago (edited)
Why do they always use "DEAR husband, DEAR wife, DEAR whoever else" when it's obvious that during writing the post they think about the person as anything but "dear"?
K Barnes 5 months ago
That really bugs me, too. My DH is an a*s. Not so dear, then. Or when they write ex-DH.
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
Stop diagnosing everyone as autistic. A medical professional has to make that diagnosis. Some people are just pieces of s**t.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 5 months ago
He's a plain old garden variety chancey spouse. Probably more just sneakily manipulative than autistic because he managed to change for a whole year just as she was leaving. Recognise the simple answer, see him for his uncomplicated selfish self, and leave.
AngelWingsYT 5 months ago
Hello psychologist to be here (in my masters) what ppl dont understand about autism is that they do see things very different from us. They can also take things VERY literally n miss social cues. While on the surface for us who are neurotypical what he did was "TA" however he isnt neruotypical and missed the sarcasm/joke in wife's tone. He took it *literally* that isnt his fault. Wife knows he is on spectum n should have taken that into account n spoke direct to him "i get you are excited for this but i need you here with me please" this was miscommunication that coulda been avoided.
spacer 5 months ago
autism can overlap or show similar signs to antisocial personality disorder, but its always just a wild guess unless you speak with a professional. autism shows in different ways for different people, you know
Jean Novotny 5 months ago
It doesn't mean we're uncaring or unempathtic. We just have a hard time showing it.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 5 months ago
This guy is clearly not capable of being in a relationship. He's only able to fake it for so long. At this point, you have to accept this is who he is and move on. It's foolish to expect someone this oblivious and empathy challenged to change. They can't, they're just missing that part.
EpicPac 5 months ago
Long story short, he asked for permission to go do something while kid was sick. OP is trying to figure if their wrong. Like yes you should not bed to ask for permission to go to something. You should not go to something with a sick kid, Like just be a partner. Why is this a conversation when you have a sick kid.
K Barnes 5 months ago (edited)
The husband is a huge AH if he left for a festival in this situation but I have a problem with the mom not telling him "no, you can't go, our daughter is hospitalized and you need to be home to care for our son and be available for the daughter if needed" instead of saying "it's up to you, go if you want". He's disgusting for even asking to go, but she should have answered with a clear no. I have a bigger problem with her then commenting she doesn't know if he even went and is waiting to see how long it takes him to message her. She needs to grow up and learn to communicate. He needs to learn how to parent.
Weak Knees 5 months ago
If you can't be grown up enough to figure out the obvious but must look to someone else to make adult decisions for you, please don't procreate - or act surprised when you wind up alone.
Load More Replies... Margaret Shannon 5 months ago
Conscience, people! Conscience, conscience, conscience! Let your conscience be your guide! And, BTW, dad hasn’t got one.
Melissa Harris 5 months ago
Hope the OP just diches him. He's selfish and doesn't care about his daughter or relationship. The girl has a mental health issue likely due to living in a household where her father is a selfish a**e and mum is constantly stressed and distressed from his immature selfish behavior.
Anony Mouse 5 months ago
She set a trap, and put him through tests then was (shocked pikachu face) when he failed. How long has she been enabling this sort of behavior? Sure he’s an a$$, but this needs couples therapy instead of “gotcha” moments.
Jean Novotny 5 months ago (edited)
It wasn't a trap. She was being sarcastic and didn't think he would actually leave.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 5 months ago
Ok so your daughter wouldn’t have noticed if dad was home , but ffs you do notice , and you are the one as he should be supporting , ed,s are no joke ( recovering anorexic here ) n I’m a lot lot older n a mum , to in kids it’s awful , scary no one likes their kids being ill ( with the exception of your husband it seems ) ! He needs to husband and father up ! he has responsibilities, n cannot just bog off when. He chooses , no word nothing , I mean not even a text or a call checking in on his daughter or you , n your son , even if he is on Xbox most of time , I can assure you he will be scared worried , n his dad doing a disappearing act ain’t gonna help him one bit !! I love gasto , would never go mind to many people , so I record it all he could have done that ffs n gone in two yrs time when it’s back on n daughter is hopefully better , I think lovely you have some thinking to do once the lass is on the mend , and u have time to think straight x blessed be x thoughts n prays to x
Chewie Baron 5 months ago (edited)
I’ve been a few times, but when I was young and had no responsibilities. It’s better to watch it on TV.
Tamra 5 months ago
What's this mentality of men who get married and father children, then shove their heads up their a$$es and act like irresponsible teenagers, tending only to their own needs and ignoring the fact they need to actually parent the kids they bring into the world?
Load More Replies... You May Like MIL Crosses Boundaries After Sending Wedding Invites That Suit "Her Preferences" Gatecrashing Woman Makes A Scene At A Private Party Over “A Sandwich” For Her Children Woman Is Blamed For "Gatekeeping Childcare" Because She Refused To Keep Doing It For Free
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