We find a joke entertaining because of its perfect timing, clever reference, or its artistic delivery. We hear them in standup performances, popular YouTube videos, or from that one guy everyone wants to be friends with. It's not easy to come up with a witty line. However, that doesn't stop us from trying. From time to time, everyone wants to be the center of attention, admired for their creative quick-thinking. And the jokes we spit out in the process might be... bad. Terrible. Absolutely horrible. So rotten, they're actually good. When Reddit user indurative-conseils asked the internet, "What's a joke that's so stupid it's funny?", their post immediately went viral, generating over 70k upvotes and nearly 15K responses, and the world got to see a refined collection of some of the worst dad jokes ever created. Enjoy!
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
Interestingly, some researchers believe they've found out why we're amused when we're let down by humor. Dr. Nancy Bell and a team of her colleagues told the following joke to almost 200 people: "What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing. Chimneys can't talk."
I have many jokes about unemployed people. Sadly none of them work.
The most common reaction was laughter, a response given by 37 percent of the people. The second-most popular response was something mildly negative like saying, "That's not very funny."
Next came bland, non-committal remarks like 'Okay'. Just a few people were rude about the joke or made sarcastic comments about it. Only 6 percent rolled their eyes or shook their heads, and a tiny 0.5 percent groaned.
Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist from Hertfordshire University, added they are probably laughing at bad jokes because they're caught by surprise. The main element of comedy.
Dr. Bell also noted that strangers were far more likely to be polite when told a bad joke than friends or loved ones. "We found that social relationship was highly significant, suggesting that responses to failed humor among intimates will be most direct and negative, while strangers and acquaintances will tend to use more neutral responses."
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
Well the flag’s a big plus.
Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says to the second “ have you heard about this mad cow disease? It makes cows go crazy and then they die”. The second cow replies “ good thing I‘m a helicopter”
Courtesy of my daughter-
What do you call a broken can opener?
A can’t opener.
Say what you want about deaf people.
What's blue and not very heavy?
They say smoking kills, but it cures salmon.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, but it was also terrible.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
(Wait for them to say Rrrrrr)
A: Yarr, yee’d think so, but me first love be the C!
Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says " May I just say one word?" Sure she replies." Plethora" The widow says" Thanks. That means a lot"
What's a pirate's least favourite letter?
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
A Mexican magician told his audience he was going to vanish on the count of three. He counted, "Uno, dos..." and disappeared without a tres.
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
Two whales are drunk at a bar. One whale says... (make long whale coo-ing noises until everyone around you is pretty uncomfortable. Like I'm not shitting you, at least 1-2 full minutes of weird off pitch whale noises)
The other whale says... (Do a deep inhale like you're about to make more weird whale noises and so that everyone around you almost gets pissed and unfriends you on Facebook) "Go home, Frank. You're drunk"
Why can't hedgehogs just share the hedge?
"Hey, guess what!"
What do we want? "Airplane noises!" When do we want them? "Nyeow!"
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You can’t run through a camp site. You can only ran because it’s past tents
What did one nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
Im a cashew
What was E.T short for?
Because he had little legs.
Why did Edward Woodward have so many ‘d’s in his name?
Because without them he'd have been called Ewar Woowar.