Dad Ignores 5YO Son’s Grief When Mom Dies, Son Returns The Favor When His Stepmom Dies

Naming a baby is a rare privilege and not something to be taken lightly. In most cases, expecting parents spend months (if not years) deliberating over the moniker that will stay with their child for life. In short, it’s one of life’s most momentous decisions. 

For one man, he and his wife’s decision to name their unborn child after his mother has led to significant tension between him and his dad. Irked, the guy turned to the web for advice.

More info: Reddit

Naming a baby is a big deal, but this man is facing uphill from his dad about his decision

A woman in a sweater, seated at a table with a coffee pot, talking to a man, capturing a moment of connection.

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

In honor of his late mother, the man and his wife decided to name their unborn child after her 

Text discussing dad's grief related to children's naming decisions and family dynamics.

Text about a dad discussing adoption with his child, expressing feelings of grief and emotional strain.

A man in a suit mournfully stands by a casket in a wooded cemetery, symbolizing dad grief.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The couple kept the name secret, but the man’s father said there was no point in that since the child would obviously be named after the guy’s stepmother

Text discusses grief of a dad questioning wedding plans after child's mother's death.

Text discussing dad's feelings about naming their child.

Dad and expectant mother sitting together, hands on her belly, with a cat by the window.

Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)

When he found out that wasn’t in fact the case, he exploded at his son and tried to guilt trip him into changing his mind

Text discussing dad's grief about naming children after his late wife, highlighting family tension around the decision.

Text discussing dad's grief over name choice for children, expressing tension and personal considerations.

Text expressing dad's grief and feeling of insensitivity about children's names.

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The guy told his dad that it was his and his wife’s decision to make, but still turned to netizens to ask if denying his dad’s wish was a jerk move

OP begins his story by telling the community that he and his dad have a complicated relationship, then goes on to add that his dad and mom divorced when he was just a baby, but that his mother died when he was 5. By the time his mom passed, OP’s dad had already remarried and had another child, ignoring OP’s grief after losing his mom.

He then goes on to say that, when he was 13, his dad asked him to ask his stepmom if she would adopt him. When OP said no, his dad threw a minor tantrum but never brought it up again.

OP tells the readers that his stepmom passed away three-and-a-half years back. He and his wife were engaged at the time and planning the wedding, but 6 months after his stepmom passed, his dad asked him how he could possibly move forward with the happy occasion, to which OP replied he still wanted to get married. 

Now that the couple is pregnant with a little girl, they’ve decided to name the baby after his biological mom. Despite them keeping it a secret, OP’s dad told everyone in the family that she’d obviously be named after his late wife. When OP told him that wasn’t the case, his dad flipped.

OP’s dad then demanded a one-on-one with him, telling him that his stepmother should be honored since she’d basically raised him. OP refused, but his dad has since accused him of invalidating his grief, leaving OP to ask netizens if naming his kid after his mom and not his stepmom is a jerk move.

Man on a sofa showing dad grief, wearing a beige coat and glasses, with his hands clasped in contemplation.

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

From what OP tells us in his post, it seems pretty obvious that his dad is acting entitled. After all, what business is it of his who his son chooses to name his own kid after? Surely that’s a parent’s right? So, how should OP handle his demanding dad? We went looking for answers.

In her article for VeryWellMind, Arlin Cuncic writes that a sense of entitlement is a personality trait based on the belief that someone deserves special treatment for something they didn’t earn. In short, entitled people believe that the world owes them something. 

Some signs of a sense of entitlement include a need for recognition even when it’s not due, high or unreasonable demands, expecting others to do things for them, always prioritizing their own needs, and a persistent victim mentality. 

In her article for Quick and Dirty Tips, Dr. Monica Johnson writes that there are several strategies that can be used to cope with entitled people, both in personal and professional settings. A few of these include practicing assertiveness, setting boundaries, and validating the entitled person’s emotions without giving in.

While OP stood his ground and clearly explained his position to his overbearing father, perhaps an even firmer stance might be necessary to shut the topic down once and for all.

What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think his dad should have any say in the naming, or is it really none of his business? Let us know your opinion in the comments!  

In the comments, readers swiftly concluded that the man was not being a jerk and suggested his father get some therapy on the double   

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Reddit exchange discussing dad grief and refusal of therapy after losing a child.

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Comment discussing dad's reaction to a disagreement over naming a child, suggesting to limit contact.

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