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57 Unsettling And Creepy Things People Did To A Partner That They Never Plan To Confess To
A relationship can last for years only if both partners are willing to work at it and solve problems together. If one person refuses to do that and instead keeps secrets, lies, or sabotages the bond in any way, the whole thing will likely collapse quickly.
Unfortunately for the folks in this list, all of them have done something weird, bizarre, or creepy that their loved one doesn’t know about. Keeping something like this hidden forever can take a toll, but it’s up to you to decide whether they should bury these secrets or reveal them someday.
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#1
My partner knows now but we first met and after our second date, I took pictures of him when he didn’t realize it. At first they just made me smile. So I kept taking more of him as well as pics of things that made me think of him. And then I realized I was falling in love with him and took pictures of him during those moments. I ended up cataloging my entire experience of loving him. I made a playlist of the songs I collected, made a scrapbook of the moments I fell, and gave it to him the same night he proposed to me (it was our anniversary).
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#2
One time back when my husband and I were still dating he had some x-rays done of most of his body. Long story short it was super difficult to save any of the images off the janky CD-ROM they gave him, but I was able to help him do so.
That wasn’t the creepy part. The creepy part is that I have kept them on purpose all this time, making sure that when I transfer files to a new computer, those always get to come along.
Now 18 years and several computers later, I still have a folder buried deep in my files. I (still) think he is super attractive and somehow I just find it beautiful and intimate to be able to look “inside” him in that way. Every few months to few years, especially when he is traveling for work for especially long periods and I really miss him, I dig up the images again and just look at them. I somehow find it profound and comforting to be able to stare at his bones and the few soft tissue details that are visible in the x rays. Yes! It’s weird. It’s embarrassing. Some people have secret stashes of other types of images in their computer but I just have random, perfectly sfw medical images of my spouse.
It’s silly. I’ve had his babies and have committed my whole life to this man. X-rays are so minor in the grand scheme of things. It’s not like some kind of thing either - I could look at anyone’s x-rays but I don’t care about anyone else’s x-rays. And if he is around I would rather just look at / be with him.
Somehow when I’m longing for him more than usual and he isn’t anywhere nearby for me to touch, I find it comforting to just… look at his bones. whaaat? If he ever found out I couldn’t even explain it. Surely he would be so weirded out! I couldn’t even begin to make it sound not-creepy or cute or dumb, so this remains my bony little secret I guess.
#3
Collected clippings of his body hair from the bathroom after he shaved, mixed it with some of my own and stuffed a small teddy bear with it. Gifted it to him for Christmas saying it was our "baby".
Art school will do weird stuff to your brain. I have thankfully stop being so weird, creepy and "innovative" now. 😅.
Keeping secrets is normal for most people, but research has found that nearly 1 in 4 folks also keep things hidden from their partner. Even after moving in with their significant other, people may still keep some things private, regardless of whether the relationship gets more serious or not.
According to the study, millennials were the demographic most likely to keep things confidential, while baby boomers tended to be the most comfortable spilling the beans. Of all the secret-keepers, about one-third of the 2,000 respondents kept information hidden from their partner for over a year, and 68% of folks felt guilty about having secrets in the first place.
#4
I made him mad on purpose maybe 5 or 6 times. I made stuff up to make him mad at me in different ways. I wanted - nay, NEEDED - to see that even if he was angry, he'd not hurt me or hit me.
He must have thought the first few months I was insane or something with the stuff I did. I'm glad he didn't dump me for doing that and we're married now. That was the angriest he'd ever get, so I'm still happy I did such a creepy thing. I'd never admit that.
#5
This is something that an ex GF (still) does to me.
I dated this girl over 15 years ago and she still watches every story I post on IG.
The thing is: we are NOT friends on IG.
She must be literally searching my name everyday on IG to see if I posted a story because I post maybe twice a month and shes one of the first "views", on every story!
#6
I thought he was really cute asleep. So I took a video of him, sleeping? When he had a anti-snoring butterfly bandage on his nose
We broke up five years ago. It's still on my phone.
I WANT TO SEND MYSELF TO JAIL
OMG I AM SO WEIRD.
It might seem obvious that keeping secrets from a partner can ultimately affect the relationship, but social worker Amy Morin says folks often try to protect themselves and their loved one. This self-preservation might stem from a person’s ego, fear that their partner will judge them, or worry that what they're hiding might change how others see them.
There is also a lot of shame, embarrassment, and worry that comes with having to keep these kinds of secrets, which can take a toll on a person’s mental health. Even if they want to share what they’ve kept hidden for a while, these feelings can be so strong that they never feel comfortable opening up.
#7
I found my girlfriend's house before she told me where she lived because she sent me a picture of her on her porch and I happened to go past it while taking a walk.
#8
We're long distance and he left me his hoodie before he left. Instead of wearing it, I put it on a pillow and keep it next to me when I sleep at night. Sometimes I'll wrap the arms around me so it's like he's holding me.
#9
Idk about me but my ex told me one time early she was so mad at me that she used a cucumber as a toy and the cut it up and fed it to me in a salad. She only told me after we broke up. Why would she wait until we were broken up to tell me something so weird…ly arousing.
As you may have noticed from this list, sometimes people keep secrets to protect their relationship. They might feel that if they reveal the truth, their partner may leave them, which is not an outcome that anyone wants to face. Especially in cases of infidelity, folks might want to hide their mistakes as long as possible to avoid their relationship ending.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to know how the other person will react, and people often don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. Sometimes revealing secrets can also cause folks a lot of pain and heartache, which nobody wants to inflict on someone they love. People often use this as a justification for hiding things from their significant other.
#10
I linked up his texts to my phone browser so I could read all his texts as they came in. On two occasions, I sent texts from my phone as him. He was none the wiser
No I don't do it anymore and no I won't teach y'all how to do it.
#11
I was so in love and found him so attractive that at the first opportunity in his apartment, I wiped my whole face with his towel... His bath towel. ☠️.
#12
I love sniffing his underwear. Don’t care. I wouldn’t tell him cuz he gets weird about being a smelly dude but I like to fool around with him before he showers cuz the smell of his funk is hot to me.
It can be difficult to know what pushes someone to hide something from their significant other, but studies suggest that people in less intimate, trusting, or satisfying relationships tend to keep more secrets. This may be because of the poor quality of their bond, which can make it hard to build rapport with their partner.
Folks like this may also struggle with self-esteem and fear rejection, so their insecure attachment with their loved one is built on such a fragile foundation that even the truth could tear it apart. It definitely shows that a person’s personality and belief system can affect whether they keep secrets.
#13
I regularly take pictures and videos of my husband while he’s sleeping. He’s so effortlessly handsome and I never want to forget his face at every phase of our lives. He does the same thing to me but I don’t think he realizes how often I do it lmao.
#14
This is something *HE* thought was creepy, but I stand by to this day.
My ex used to avoid regular agreed upon adulting tasks in the household, and when I'd bring it up, he would say he didn't notice or forgot about it, and asked me to simply remind him, or make a honey do list (which I did).
After that, whenever I reminded him he would get defensive and say "You JUST asked me to do that... give me a chance to do it myself" (no matter how many days, weeks, months he'd been avoiding the tasks that were piling up, and the physical list just hung on the fridge).
We had one of those calanders on the wall, that you flip through, and on the bottom was a space to fill in notes. I took the list off of the fridge, and began writing the tasks in the calendar each month (even though the list kept getting longer and longer).
If a month went by without a task being done, I put one dot after the task per month it had been on the calendar. I did this because he knew where the tasks were, and I wanted to lift the burden from myself of being gaslit.
It took this mf SIX MONTHS to ask why some tasks had one or two dots, while some had 5. When I told him that's how many months the tasks had been on the calendar, he turned beet red in anger and embarrassment, but immediately started storming around the house performing all of the tasks that were on the list (that didn't even take him more than that day to complete).
He told me it was uncalled for, and weird that I'd kept track like that, but it was simply a way for me to remove any accusations of nagging, and the gaslighting he was doing when he kept lying about how long he'd been avoiding doing the tasks.
#15
Wasn’t me but it was done to me. I(f) had a friend(m) who I hadn’t talked to in a long time. He recently moved back to my area and we had chatted a bit through text. He called me one day and asked if I was on my way home because he was at my house! Y’all, I did NOT give him my address. He saw a picture of me outside my house then drove around my town until he found it! The side eye I gave the phone as he explained it to me! 😒 My (now) husband was not impressed either.
Since keeping secrets can ruin a relationship, are there things folks should keep hidden? According to Mark Merrill, founder and president of Family First, a national non-profit organization, some things should stay private between a person and their partner.
He said people shouldn't share intimate details of their relationships, disagreements they've had, or their significant other’s health issues. These things should stay between a person and their loved one and shouldn’t be shared with others without permission, since they could be embarrassing or cause pain.
#16
I went through all his photos and google translated the comments that were left in his native language, because I wanted to know if any girls had ever flirted with him ten years ago, when he was fifteen 😵💫.
#17
God dang y'all. I have a video of my husband talking in his sleep, that's about as creepy as I got.
#18
We were on the outs. I suspected they were seeing someone else. I turned lights and music on in the garage so they would think I was in there, and they left. I was secretly in the back of the vehicle. After they went into the destination, I left the vehicle out of the back. Never told anyone this before now.
Hiding something from a loved one might feel like the right thing to do at first, but Terry Gaspard, a licensed clinical social worker, explains that it can lead to betrayal later on. If the truth comes out later, it could make the other person feel they can no longer trust their partner and doubt anything they say.
The effects of deceit can also linger for a long time, and relationships may even fall apart if trust isn’t there. That’s why it’s important for folks to think through the secrets they keep from their partner, especially if they're trying to spare them pain in the present, because it could hurt them in the future instead.
#19
He used to sleep through his alarm and often asked me to call him to wake him up, I don’t think I was putting enough effort and he was being really cute, so I went over to wake him up in person. I went through the window (which was always open for this purpose) and woke him up, he wasn’t excited but he wasn’t mad, it was just really awkward.
I cringe every time I think about it, I bet he tells people about the Crazy lady that snuck into his house while he was sleeping or something 🫣.
#20
I used to date someone in the military, and when he went back after leave I kept the straw he used last and would kiss it.
#21
The only reason I’m with my husband is I stalked another man 😂
Okay stalked is strong but I had a crush on this guy who was in two of my classes in university and I was too chicken to introduce myself. Well every class has a roster available. Cross referenced the rosters for the two classes I was in with him and then looked up each person who was on both on Facebook.
Found the guy I had a crush on, discovered we had mutuals, convinced mutuals to introduce us. Crush was amazing guy, super nice, super chill, fun etc. but totally caught up on his ex. Big over months of getting to know him made tons on friends in his circle.
Met the man who is now my husband but at the time was a rebound hookup.
Crush is living his best life and I’m still in good terms. Husband and I are 12 years together.
Keeping secrets doesn’t just hurt the person being kept from; it can also make the person keeping them feel guilty, stressed, and anxious. This is because lies and untruths often weigh on the subconscious and can leave people exhausted as they try to keep their secrets hidden.
Unfortunately, folks who also hide things from their loved one might project their suspicious behavior onto their partner and distrust them, too. This cycle of worry and mistrust might continue for a while, until the secret-keeper eventually shares what they’re hiding or the relationship ends.
#22
I’m really interested in genealogy so I’ve done like full blown research on his ancestors. I’ve only admitted to it a little bit, he doesn’t know how far I went lmao.
#23
Stalked his ex girl best friend so hard I found her youtube with old videos of them together. Among other things. Was a super insecure person and dang crazy.
Honesty can be a tough pill to swallow and difficult to do, but counselors explain that people can come clean slowly, one small disclosure at a time. While doing this, it’s also important to give the other individual space to voice their feelings and concerns, without judging them or avoiding the conversation.
In some situations, these talks can be difficult, which is why folks can seek professional support and bring up their secrets in couples’ counseling sessions. This can be a better way to discuss tough matters, as an objective person in the room can act as a mediator.
#25
Her top drawer where she kept her perfumes and stuff smelt… stranger.. than just that. I opened it and saw a bunch of like jewelry boxes and other little containers- I opened those and they were filled with used rubbers. Some I could tell were clearly mine and others seemed like from another era….
I just closed that drawer before she got back from the restroom and didn’t bring it up. I was young and the intimacy was too good to get into that drama or to think about it right then.
#26
I put cameras in our home out of suspect of cheating and left them out of the cuteness he’d do instead.
#27
Took a pic of him sleeping without clothes. He recorded me snoring bc he “thought I looked cute”.
Secrets, lies, and untruths go hand in hand, which is why people need to be careful about what they start hiding from their partner. Over time, these hidden details can add up until they become a major obstacle in the relationship. Hopefully, most folks understand how much trouble secrets can truly cause, and only plan to hide fun surprise birthday parties and gifts from their loved ones.
Have you ever kept something hidden from your partner? Maybe now is the time to unburden yourself; we promise not to tell anyone.
#29
Back during the Xanga craze, I met a guy. I think one of his friends shared their xanga with me, and I figured out my new guy’s xanga based on comments or something. Fact is, he didn’t know that I knew his account and that I was basically reading a daily journal.. It was amazing at first he wrote in it a lot, talked about me, etc. we were together for about 2 years and I eventually forgot about it and stopped checking, he never ever knew. Eventually we broke up - I should have checked it then!
#30
We were dating for a few months and his phone broke down so I gave him my old iPhone. He is an android user so he doesn’t know about iCloud and all that. He didn’t realize I could look up his location day and night 🤣🤭.
#31
I stole his jacket because it smelled like him, but I helped him look for it because I’m not a monster, after all.
#32
I've collected his eyelashes and strands of hair in my "witch jar".
But he knows this so I don't think this counts.
I have also stolen his underwear and hid them in my own underwear drawer (and wore them), bought his signature perfume so I can smell him when he's away and took pictures of him when he's sleeping because he's so darn cute. He doesn't know I've done these things, but if he knew, I know he would not mind. He would just be like "you do you babe, we both know you cray cray".
#33
This was done to me a long time ago. I attended a conference and led a breakout session with about 15 people. I asked everyone to introduce themselves and share a passion. I went first and explained that enjoyed horses and had a few. Unbeknownst to me, a woman in the group had been told by a psychic that someone who looked like me, had a farm, horses and was an expert in my field was destined to be her partner. She found out where I lived and began love bombing me with greeting cards and letters often adding glitter and shines little moons and stars. I was happily married. My wife and I ignored the first couple but it escalated in creepy, fatal attraction ways. She seemed to know where I was going, had her friends write me, testifying how special she was and then sent me gifts with glamour pics of her. I had moments of wondering if I’d somehow given off the vibe in my seminar that I was inviting connection but realized she had a personality disorder or even a deep psychological problem. We finally went to the police who suggested I get a restraining order. Because she had sent her phone number, my wife called her, told her that we were about to restrain her and then I had a friend call her and threaten a legal suit, even though he wasn’t actually a lawyer. She finally desisted. Oddly, she was very good looking and had seemed intelligent and socially comfortable at the seminar. Why she obsessed over me to such an enormous degree remains a mystery. But definitely creepy.
#34
Used to stalk my now husband's Slack status (we used to work in the same company) when I had a crush on him but had not really started talking. Just used to see him online and felt a strange comfort in that form of connection.
#35
One time I was doing laundry at my then fiancé’s house. I noticed her panties and always wondered why dirty guys on the movies always sniff them. So I picked them up and gave it go. Hahah. I’ve been married to this woman for over 20 years and I told her about his experience I had before we were married and she just laughed and asked what it smelled like.
#36
Not me but my ex stalked my social media before we got together, found even my Tumblr I haven't used in years and forgot myself that it existed...
When I was alone at his apartment I got bored and followed my intrusive thoughts and
digged trough his notebooks. Found doodles he never showed ne despite I use to draw too. I found them very cool and they showed his personality which I loved...
In hindsight it wasn't ok to pry on his private notes, probably wouldn't do that again.
#37
I was dating a guy that was leaving to go overseas for 6 months for his PhD while we were in lockdown still. He cut his hair right before he left and I fished a lock out of my bathroom bin after he was gone and kept it. We broke up but I forgot about the hair and eventually found it later and tossed it and scolded myself for being weird lmao.
#38
Well we haven’t done it yet, but when I was dating my partner I told him that if I'm gone before him, my final wishes were to cremate me, bake a bit of my ashes into an apple pie (my fav) and have him eat it. He agreed and we are now married lol.
EDIT: Also smelled his pillow a lot while he was traveling for work like 40 weeks of the year. He was also completely ok with that.
#39
Before we were dating he came over to my house for a party. The next morning when I was cleaning up I licked his empy beer cans where his mouth had been.
#40
I had a huuuuge crush on a guy and while stalking his entire existence before we went on our first date, I stumbled across his moms Facebook where she had posted, 8 years prior, her mother (his grandmothers) tombstone and a photo of the funeral program which had a photo of her and mentioned a super niche interest. On the first date later that week I brought up how a cute nice old lady in the bathroom named [insert his grandmothers first name here] just complimented me and chatted me up about [insert her niche interest here] and how she had a birthday coming up soon (which the tombstone told me). I described her as I saw her in the program and he genuinely thought his grandmothers spirit appeared to me. Because how else would I know those things, right? I knew he was very family oriented and surely enough, he never let it go. He would tell everyone about it! We dated for 2 years. Never told him that was a sham.
#42
Went to his apartment and peed in his water when i learned his new gf that he cheated with me moved in 2 days after I moved out.
#46
Nothing. He knows every creepy thing I’ve ever done. Im a widow who was married for 15 yrs before. If you can’t tell your partner about the weird stuff then yall shouldnt be together. Like I ran my bfs name, drove by his house to see what it looked like, even drove my kid by his childhood home (we used to date when we were kids & this was before I knew we would start talking again), I’ve stalked his instagram and fb and researched every female I found (me late husband was not faithful at all so I had some lingering toxicity to grow out of) but he knows everything and he still loves my crazy self. Mostly cuz I wouldnt do those things now and because I was pretty open with him about it.
#47
He left his hoodie behind and I wore it. A lot of people do this
I sniffed it until the scent ran out.
#49
I made an edit of him, and play to it, then deleted it so no one would see. All I did was cut out a part of a video of himself he sent me that was my favorite. I have been thinking of making a longer edit of different pictures and videos of him though with one of his favorite songs in the background just for myself....
And when we were newly dating or still just friends and I had a crush on him, he sent me a video his friend recorded of him at school, and I saved it on my phone and watched it hundreds and hundreds of times. When he found out I still had the video years later, he wasn't so happy since he found the video of himself to be embarrassing lol.
#50
Found his ex on Facebook and saw all their shred photos and stuff. But she also Facebook staked me as she liked a photo from quite a few years back. It was actually reassuring that I wasn't the only one snooping and clearly a little insecure.
#51
Sometimes if I wake up first I'll stare at him for a bit and just admire him. He's so cute when he's that peaceful.
#52
This was before we started dating, like during the hot part of courting, but guy I was into was the vocalist in a punk band, so i would watch their music vids and use like any like grunt or almost-intimate sounds he made (or movements he made, if that makes sense?) while fantasizing about us being intimate. Like I would replay those parts and then think about them later… Also I was like 18 then and can’t imagine doing this as an actual adult lol.
#53
As a super insecure man dating in the gay community, it's difficult to find another gay man that isnt into the hook up culture so when me and my current boyfriend (~6 mo) first started dating (and still sometimes do every now and then), I will download Grindr and drive by his house when hes at home to see if he has an account/whoring around. He has my location so I have to activate an old phone and leave my current one at home. I will immediately deactivate/delete and never actually use to look around or talk to anybody.
Hes never given me any reason not to trust him, but I think just being blatantly lied to and gaslit in basically every past relationship just makes me skeptical and has messed me up. Its exhausting.
#54
Sat outside in a dark alley for hours, looking into his window, contemplating doing him bodily harm.
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