Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
You can’t write the perfect comeback. These gems typically come from a creative, quick-witted mind that can deliver sick burns at will, like Oprah Winfrey giving out brand-new cars to her studio audience.
You can, however, draw inspiration from the best ones online. Here are some of those we’ve collected and compiled into this list, which you can bookmark for future reference. Feel free to analyze them anytime and see why these work so well.
But in the meantime, you can read through them and be thoroughly entertained, too.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
“all quiet on the frontal lobe” is one i heard today and i can’t get over it
RELATED:
#3
As a person who worked in a call center my favorite was “I can explain it for you, but I cannot understand it for you”
#5
“I’m not saying you’re the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope the dumbest person in the world doesn’t die” I heard an old white guy say it and I bust out laughing every time I think of or hear it
#6
my personal fav "when the wind blows, does your head whistle?"
#9
I'm sure you brighten every room you leave
#11
"I would insult you, but then id have to explain the insult to you and I just dont have that kind of time."
#12
Shakespeare's gems: "Let's meet as little as we can." "I do desire we may be better strangers."
#17
This is my work insult: That’s an interesting conclusion you have come to considering the resources available to you.
#18
Working with you is like working alone but harder
#22
Heard someone say “you make water look like it has calories” and I haven’t been the same since
#26
Somebody told me I look like a left handed drawing
#35
My home girl loves calling people “facially challenged” and honestly it’s always stuck with me
#44
I read somewhere “I want you to be a pallbearer at my funeral so you can let me down one more time”
#46
As my Grammy said “you’re as sharp as a circle”
#48
keep smiling yellow is my favorite color
#57
I saw someone get called an irregular verb earlier today
What do you think ?
Rick Murray 26 minutes ago
"I have neither the crayons nor the patience to explain this to you."
Lorius Interruptus 59 minutes ago (edited)
"you're about as useful as a monkey p**k1ng a football"
Rick Murray 26 minutes ago
"I have neither the crayons nor the patience to explain this to you."
Lorius Interruptus 59 minutes ago (edited)
"you're about as useful as a monkey p**k1ng a football"
Related on Bored Panda
