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“Pay $65?!”: Woman Demands Coworker Pay For Her Overpriced Drinks, Work Drama Follows
While some people would rather keep their personal and professional lives separate, others see no problem in the two intertwining, which often results in communal activities outside of work.
For this redditor, though, spending time with her coworkers after work led to a rather awkward situation. Before going to grab dinner, the group decided to split the bill evenly, but that was before the OP saw what others were getting. Needless to say, the situation that followed didn’t make any of the employees’ relationships any better.
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This woman agreed to split the bill evenly with her coworkers
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
But seeing what other people were ordering made her change her mind
The woman provided screenshots of her conversation with one of the coworkers
Image credits: stelize02
Many people consider their coworkers to be their friends
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
For those who dislike their job or the people they do it with, spending time with coworkers might sound like torture. However, statistics show that some are not only on good terms with fellow employees, they even manage to find friends among them.
A report on the state of friendship from the American Survey Center found that nowadays, Americans are more likely to make friends at work than anywhere else, including at school, in the neighborhood, at their place of worship, or through existing friends. And it’s no secret that surviving any job is easier when you work with people you like.
The World Economic Forum reports that a survey of full-time employees in the US found that 20% of respondents consider their colleagues to be friends; though only “at work” friends. Roughly 15% say that they have become “real friends,” suggesting that people make meaningful connections at work that tend to go from professional settings only to their personal lives, too.
A survey carried out among employed individuals in the UK found that as much as 43% of them socialize with their coworkers outside of working hours every month, and almost a quarter do every two weeks.
It’s important to keep several things in mind when it comes to splitting the bill
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
The OP didn’t share how well she got along with her coworkers, nor did she specify how often they got together outside of work. But that one time she did—be it the first or the last time—it didn’t end well, all because of paying the bill.
Before going to brunch, the colleagues agreed on splitting the bill four ways. However, they clearly had different ideas on what that meant order-wise. For instance, while the OP ordered food and drinks for $26, others saw no problem going way above that, yet splitting the costs equally.
Part of the problem was the redditor’s coworker ordering drinks, which alone added up to quite a sizable share of the bill. Talking about the etiquette of splitting the bill, food editor at New York Magazine and former co-chef and owner of Philadelphia-based restaurant Poi Dog, Kiki Aranita, told NPR that in certain situations, when others order expensive drinks and you don’t, for instance, it’s important to speak up.
“Just be like, ‘Hey guys — I didn’t drink.’ Usually, that’s enough for everyone to reconfigure the bill to make it fairer. The problems only arise when you don’t speak up,” Aranita said, adding that if you’re ordering pricey drinks, it’s important to be conscious of the people in your party who didn’t order as much as you. In such cases, you might want to offer to pick up a larger portion of the tip to make up for your drinks.
If you’re unsure if the people you go out with are going to be conscious enough to split the bill in a way that is fair, you might want to ask for a separate check, and do it before the meal. Stating that you will be paying separately is not a rude thing to do, and it can save you a lot of headache, as some people in the comments noted.
People in the comments shared varying opinions about the situation
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KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
Most of us have learned that lesson the hard way... and it's always people who earn more - in one case (the last time we split) it was someone who earned twice as much as most of us who ate and drank like a king, dropped £20 on the table and left. Was not invited again.
Load More Replies...
Robert T 9 months ago
This is how you find out who your friends are and who is just taking you for a ride as their cash cow. If you want drinks, you pay for them separately, or each person just pays for what they have, as I know some people who habitually order the most expensive item on the menu as some kind of weird flex.
Patrick H 9 months ago
IMO, splitting the bill means only splitting the meals. Appetizers might be fine if everybody agrees on them. Alcohol should never be part of the agreement unless everybody has explicitly agreed, and even then, it should be rounds, not individual drinks for the group lush.
Zelda McLink 9 months ago
EXACTLY. Alcohol is *never* included in splitting the bill like this.
Load More Replies...
Charles McChristy 9 months ago
Never split the bill. There is no need to anymore since everything is automated. This used to be done as a courtesy to the waitress, but the only one this practice benefits now are the cheap ones trying to take advangae of their friends.
Deborah B 9 months ago
Not totally unreasonable. Look up the prices, work out what your bill should have been, and add a tip on the basis of the tipped percentage and your order. and round up. Send a text to the rest of the group. "I agreed to split on the basis of like orders - not to cover your extra drinks. I'm hurt that you would try to take advantage of me like this, especially when you know I just can't afford it. It's not how a friend would behave, and frankly, it's tacky and mean. My order came to X, plus tip at x%, which comes to $Y. I've venmo'd that to (Friend). Sorry for being petty about the shift cover, I'll do it you haven't been able to find someone else." That way everyone has a clear picture of what is really going on, and you have the satisfaction of holding your boundries, but not being unfair.
Tabitha 9 months ago
Here’s what you do from now on: Separate checks. Everybody pays for their own, so if they decide to go whole hog and run up the bill, it’s only their bill they’re piling charges on to, and only they who will have the cops called on them if they can’t pay it. No more pushing their expenses onto their friends. F**k that noise.
Patrick H 9 months ago (edited)
I've had a few occasions where a friend or boss opted to pay for everybody's meal. In those cases, I learned from a friend, a long time ago, to start a separate tab with any of my alcohol purchases. That way, I can let the person be generous without me having to feel bad about the extra drinks I want to order.
Paul Jayne 9 months ago
ESH. OP foolishly agreed to split the bill and then did not speak up when the drinks were ordered.. OP's *friends* obviously knew to take advantage of the situation. Then the angst spills over into the workplace with some seriously nasty texting. OP should pay up, do the shift and then give these revolting people the flick.
Na Schi 9 months ago (edited)
The message exchange exactly displays how a person who is tired to be a push-over stands up against their all demanding bully. Adding to this, it was so clear that this was an issue between women, because no man would carry on that high-school büllshit attitude over into work life. But what can be seen here is gaslighting the push-over at its excellence! I had to deal with such a "friend" since my early childhood. Luckily she changed schools in grade 11. I never looked back (quite the contrast - I would cheer if life hits her hard!) but it took me so much longer in my young adult years to really stand up for myself and eventually silence such bïtchy, self-entitled behaviour. Until today I sometimes still have to tell me that I'm welcomed/loved/accepted by the friends I chose... and not to bow to my bully's every whim, because I could be excluded of the group of friends we had. Which aren't real friends in the first place if they allow the manipulation!!!!
JB 9 months ago (edited)
“No man would ever”.😂 boy are you going to learn some hard lessons.
Load More Replies...
Bookworm 9 months ago
OP's in the wrong. She should have spoken up in the moment to clarify she was going to get a separate ticket since they were ordering drinks which would make their costs significantly more than hers. Also refusing the shift she already agreed to. When she's broke. Everywhere I've worked that's her shift and she's responsible if she doesn't show up. That's to avoid bs like this. OP needs to grow up and use her words. Not cowardly back out after the fact. Hope her coworker made sure manager knew OP was responsible for that shift.
Uncle Panda 9 months ago
For the 3 seconds you have server's full attention, lead with a quick and quiet "I'm on a separate check."
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
If I were OP, I'd have told coworker: "You have a choice: I can give you the money for *your* drinks OR I can take your shift for you. PIck one,"
FranSinclair 9 months ago
If youre splitting a bill, imo its always wise to have alchol cash bar. Like split food but drinks go on the persons check that drank them or food one check split 4 way. Alchol on 1 split 2 ways. Im a recovering alcoholic but im also a bartender. I certainly dont mind people who choose to drink but im not payinf for it, im not picking you up a chard, or buying you whiskey for your birthday. Imo its hand in hand with m**h or h and i want no hand in your decisions.
Tim Richards 9 months ago
I was prepared to say NTA but ESH. You're having money issues, and yet you agreed to split the bill. This one is on you, but your friends are inconsiderate. You made a bad decision and they took advantage of it. Get new friends and make better choices.
WonderWoman 9 months ago
When the two others were ordering the drinks - that was the time to tell them that you aren't supporting that and you are not going to split it 4 ways. Jerks like the two do this because they know most people just go along to get along, it is robbery with a smile Never again, always ask for separate checks.
XenoMurph 9 months ago
My group of friends might agree to split the bill, but then do some quick maths in their head to make sure its fair. If you got more stuff throw some more cash in the middle "Hey you guys just need to put £20, not 25 cos I got the steak..." something like that. Like normal sensible adults.
Heather Menard 9 months ago
You split the bill for food drinks are not included in that agreement.
Kristen Woehlke 9 months ago
Had some "friends" like this. Always asking me to lunch or something. I didn't ever go, but one time I was just starving! So I caved and went. We went to this cheap little Chinese place in a commissary complex on Ft. Hood. They ordered first and then walked away... I then ordered something, probably came to maybe $10-15. When I went to pay the total was like $40! I was like "whoa there partner, I didn't order $40 worth of food!" The "friends ordered and left me to pay." That pissed me off soooooo damned bad! I gave them their food and walked home. Threw them their boxes and said "there leeches! Screw you and the horse you rode in on! I'll find my own way home!"
Nitka Tsar 9 months ago
I just don‘t understand the split bill culture. 🤷♀️ It‘ll never be equal and does not make sense at all
Kali Chaos 9 months ago (edited)
I split shared apps, if we got a pitcher of margaritas or something. I pay for my share of that, for my entree and for any high shelf cocktails I order personally. I'll probs cover a shared dessert for the table. I'm not really sure why some people are coming in so hot at you. Communication is important, and circumstances also change. You are petty af for the shift covering thing, that just makes you look bad to the boss and in any future career moves where you need to provide references. Think long game, to a world with better friends. $65 is reasonable tuition to the school of hard knocks, and you learned a couple things about both yourself and the rest of the world at large. Wish you the best of luck. Edit: she really does sound rude af, trying to present herself as someone she isn't. I hope she finds whatever tf she's looking for, but it's not on you to finance it.
Parmeisan 9 months ago
I think they should text back and apologize, pay the bill, work the shift. They'll be much better off because the money from the shift will more than pay the bill, and things will be less awkward going forward. Then 100% never agree to a split again. Alternatively, they should at least apologize about trying to take back the agreement about the shift, and offer to take it again. If they need the money, the only reason not to do that is pettiness and/or being too embarrassed to admit they overreacted. They're hurting themselves more than the other, here.
Mike F 9 months ago
And make sure that the "kick me" sign is facing the correct way when they put it on their back. While going scorched earth may not be the best way to solve the problem, the organizer could have been up-front about having cocktails with lunch in case that would pose a problem.
Load More Replies...
T'Mar of Vulcan 9 months ago
Why don't Americans do what we do in South Africa? We pass the bill around and everyone works out what they owe, then when the waiter comes we just pay that amount (tips are not mandatory here but most people will add 10% anyway).
Parmeisan 9 months ago
Where I am it's even easier, restaurants are very used to people wanting the bill split so there's just an option when ringing it up to print a bill for each person instead of one with a total. No math, no fuss, everyone pays and it's done. I strongly suspect that this was an option here and they just decided not to take it. (I say that because certain things in the story make me suspect this was American, and I'm in Canada, and our two countries are very very similar with stuff like this.)
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
Most of us have learned that lesson the hard way... and it's always people who earn more - in one case (the last time we split) it was someone who earned twice as much as most of us who ate and drank like a king, dropped £20 on the table and left. Was not invited again.
Load More Replies... Robert T 9 months ago
This is how you find out who your friends are and who is just taking you for a ride as their cash cow. If you want drinks, you pay for them separately, or each person just pays for what they have, as I know some people who habitually order the most expensive item on the menu as some kind of weird flex.
Patrick H 9 months ago
IMO, splitting the bill means only splitting the meals. Appetizers might be fine if everybody agrees on them. Alcohol should never be part of the agreement unless everybody has explicitly agreed, and even then, it should be rounds, not individual drinks for the group lush.
Zelda McLink 9 months ago
EXACTLY. Alcohol is *never* included in splitting the bill like this.
Load More Replies... Charles McChristy 9 months ago
Never split the bill. There is no need to anymore since everything is automated. This used to be done as a courtesy to the waitress, but the only one this practice benefits now are the cheap ones trying to take advangae of their friends.
Deborah B 9 months ago
Not totally unreasonable. Look up the prices, work out what your bill should have been, and add a tip on the basis of the tipped percentage and your order. and round up. Send a text to the rest of the group. "I agreed to split on the basis of like orders - not to cover your extra drinks. I'm hurt that you would try to take advantage of me like this, especially when you know I just can't afford it. It's not how a friend would behave, and frankly, it's tacky and mean. My order came to X, plus tip at x%, which comes to $Y. I've venmo'd that to (Friend). Sorry for being petty about the shift cover, I'll do it you haven't been able to find someone else." That way everyone has a clear picture of what is really going on, and you have the satisfaction of holding your boundries, but not being unfair.
Tabitha 9 months ago
Here’s what you do from now on: Separate checks. Everybody pays for their own, so if they decide to go whole hog and run up the bill, it’s only their bill they’re piling charges on to, and only they who will have the cops called on them if they can’t pay it. No more pushing their expenses onto their friends. F**k that noise.
Patrick H 9 months ago (edited)
I've had a few occasions where a friend or boss opted to pay for everybody's meal. In those cases, I learned from a friend, a long time ago, to start a separate tab with any of my alcohol purchases. That way, I can let the person be generous without me having to feel bad about the extra drinks I want to order.
Paul Jayne 9 months ago
ESH. OP foolishly agreed to split the bill and then did not speak up when the drinks were ordered.. OP's *friends* obviously knew to take advantage of the situation. Then the angst spills over into the workplace with some seriously nasty texting. OP should pay up, do the shift and then give these revolting people the flick.
Na Schi 9 months ago (edited)
The message exchange exactly displays how a person who is tired to be a push-over stands up against their all demanding bully. Adding to this, it was so clear that this was an issue between women, because no man would carry on that high-school büllshit attitude over into work life. But what can be seen here is gaslighting the push-over at its excellence! I had to deal with such a "friend" since my early childhood. Luckily she changed schools in grade 11. I never looked back (quite the contrast - I would cheer if life hits her hard!) but it took me so much longer in my young adult years to really stand up for myself and eventually silence such bïtchy, self-entitled behaviour. Until today I sometimes still have to tell me that I'm welcomed/loved/accepted by the friends I chose... and not to bow to my bully's every whim, because I could be excluded of the group of friends we had. Which aren't real friends in the first place if they allow the manipulation!!!!
JB 9 months ago (edited)
“No man would ever”.😂 boy are you going to learn some hard lessons.
Load More Replies... Bookworm 9 months ago
OP's in the wrong. She should have spoken up in the moment to clarify she was going to get a separate ticket since they were ordering drinks which would make their costs significantly more than hers. Also refusing the shift she already agreed to. When she's broke. Everywhere I've worked that's her shift and she's responsible if she doesn't show up. That's to avoid bs like this. OP needs to grow up and use her words. Not cowardly back out after the fact. Hope her coworker made sure manager knew OP was responsible for that shift.
Uncle Panda 9 months ago
For the 3 seconds you have server's full attention, lead with a quick and quiet "I'm on a separate check."
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
If I were OP, I'd have told coworker: "You have a choice: I can give you the money for *your* drinks OR I can take your shift for you. PIck one,"
FranSinclair 9 months ago
If youre splitting a bill, imo its always wise to have alchol cash bar. Like split food but drinks go on the persons check that drank them or food one check split 4 way. Alchol on 1 split 2 ways. Im a recovering alcoholic but im also a bartender. I certainly dont mind people who choose to drink but im not payinf for it, im not picking you up a chard, or buying you whiskey for your birthday. Imo its hand in hand with m**h or h and i want no hand in your decisions.
Tim Richards 9 months ago
I was prepared to say NTA but ESH. You're having money issues, and yet you agreed to split the bill. This one is on you, but your friends are inconsiderate. You made a bad decision and they took advantage of it. Get new friends and make better choices.
WonderWoman 9 months ago
When the two others were ordering the drinks - that was the time to tell them that you aren't supporting that and you are not going to split it 4 ways. Jerks like the two do this because they know most people just go along to get along, it is robbery with a smile Never again, always ask for separate checks.
XenoMurph 9 months ago
My group of friends might agree to split the bill, but then do some quick maths in their head to make sure its fair. If you got more stuff throw some more cash in the middle "Hey you guys just need to put £20, not 25 cos I got the steak..." something like that. Like normal sensible adults.
Heather Menard 9 months ago
You split the bill for food drinks are not included in that agreement.
Kristen Woehlke 9 months ago
Had some "friends" like this. Always asking me to lunch or something. I didn't ever go, but one time I was just starving! So I caved and went. We went to this cheap little Chinese place in a commissary complex on Ft. Hood. They ordered first and then walked away... I then ordered something, probably came to maybe $10-15. When I went to pay the total was like $40! I was like "whoa there partner, I didn't order $40 worth of food!" The "friends ordered and left me to pay." That pissed me off soooooo damned bad! I gave them their food and walked home. Threw them their boxes and said "there leeches! Screw you and the horse you rode in on! I'll find my own way home!"
Nitka Tsar 9 months ago
I just don‘t understand the split bill culture. 🤷♀️ It‘ll never be equal and does not make sense at all
Kali Chaos 9 months ago (edited)
I split shared apps, if we got a pitcher of margaritas or something. I pay for my share of that, for my entree and for any high shelf cocktails I order personally. I'll probs cover a shared dessert for the table. I'm not really sure why some people are coming in so hot at you. Communication is important, and circumstances also change. You are petty af for the shift covering thing, that just makes you look bad to the boss and in any future career moves where you need to provide references. Think long game, to a world with better friends. $65 is reasonable tuition to the school of hard knocks, and you learned a couple things about both yourself and the rest of the world at large. Wish you the best of luck. Edit: she really does sound rude af, trying to present herself as someone she isn't. I hope she finds whatever tf she's looking for, but it's not on you to finance it.
Parmeisan 9 months ago
I think they should text back and apologize, pay the bill, work the shift. They'll be much better off because the money from the shift will more than pay the bill, and things will be less awkward going forward. Then 100% never agree to a split again. Alternatively, they should at least apologize about trying to take back the agreement about the shift, and offer to take it again. If they need the money, the only reason not to do that is pettiness and/or being too embarrassed to admit they overreacted. They're hurting themselves more than the other, here.
Mike F 9 months ago
And make sure that the "kick me" sign is facing the correct way when they put it on their back. While going scorched earth may not be the best way to solve the problem, the organizer could have been up-front about having cocktails with lunch in case that would pose a problem.
Load More Replies... T'Mar of Vulcan 9 months ago
Why don't Americans do what we do in South Africa? We pass the bill around and everyone works out what they owe, then when the waiter comes we just pay that amount (tips are not mandatory here but most people will add 10% anyway).
Parmeisan 9 months ago
Where I am it's even easier, restaurants are very used to people wanting the bill split so there's just an option when ringing it up to print a bill for each person instead of one with a total. No math, no fuss, everyone pays and it's done. I strongly suspect that this was an option here and they just decided not to take it. (I say that because certain things in the story make me suspect this was American, and I'm in Canada, and our two countries are very very similar with stuff like this.)
Load More Replies...
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