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35
Husband Defends MIL After She Puts Child In ICU, Wife Serves Him Divorce Papers
Many marriages face difficulties due to poor relationships with in-laws. Fortunately, these challenges can be overcome if the couple supports each other and sets boundaries. However, if a partner feels unsupported when encountering issues with the spouse’s family, it can negatively affect the marriage and sometimes even put an end to it.
Just like it happened to this couple, where the woman was constantly berated by her mother-in-law, but her husband would do nothing about it. After 10 years, such behavior finally pushed the wife to file for divorce, but even after that, they didn’t leave her alone and aimed to ruin her life.
RELATED:
A poor relationship with in-laws can even put an end to a marriage
Image credits: Brock Wegner (not the actual photo)
As it happened to this couple because the wife could no longer bear her mother-in-law
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Nima Motaghian Nejad (not the actual photo)
Image source: OppositeLeopard
Unhelpful behavior from a mother-in-law can put a lot of stress on a marriage
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Quite a significant number of relationships and marriages fail because of the spouse’s family, especially because of difficult mothers-in-law. Experts explain that relationships with these family members are challenging in particular because they’re used to having an authoritative role, doing all the caretaking and decision-making, which changes when a new spouse enters the picture.
The loss of control may create “conflict and discord when another individual joins the family and has their own traditions and a separate family influence,” said licensed psychotherapist Elizabeth Fedrick. Some mothers might also become anxious or worried about losing their time with their child or family dynamics changing after they get married, so their fears might push them to exhibit controlling, opinionated, or inflexible behavior.
Furthermore, mothers-in-law may feel like they ‘know best’ and therefore assert their opinion during times when it’s not welcome. Even though in the moment, they think they’re helping, such behavior is often received as intrusive and offensive, and hence isn’t always helpful, Fedrick said.
Such unhelpful behavior can put additional stress on the couple, who likely have a lot on their plate already.
“Partners have named increased stress and anxiety, strains on communication, less satisfaction in the marriage, feeling like loyalty is divided—especially when a partner feels torn between their partner and their family of origin—less emotional and physical intimacy, and mental health concerns,” licensed clinical psychologist Melissa Robinson-Brown said.
Mothers should take a step back after their children get married
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Even though some partners have a difficult relationship with their mothers-in-law, this family member still should have a place in their children’s lives and even their marriage, but with some limitations, said Fedrick.
“Mothers-in-law should certainly have a place in their child’s life, even after they get married. They should even have a place in their child’s marriage as a loving and encouraging support for their child and their child’s spouse,” she said.
“However, a mother-in-law should not have a ‘role’ in their child’s marriage in terms of being given authority or the ability to make or influence decisions about their child’s family dynamics.”
Jennifer Kelman, a family therapist, licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), and relationship expert, suggested that a mother-in-law should accept the fact that the relationship with their child has changed since they got married and should take a step back and avoid involving themselves in their marriage, because if they do, it all can become heated very quickly.
“That doesn’t mean they still can’t have a wonderful and connected relationship, but things do shift, and if the mother-in-law can accept that shift, then things can go smoothly,” Kelman said. “It is hard to step back, but it is a must for the health of all relationships.”
Commenters praised how the woman handled things and suggested what she could do next
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman came back with an update, which revealed that her ex wanted to take her daughter out of the country
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: OppositeLeopard
Commenters were dumbstruck to hear about the potential parental kidnapping
Image credits: Ali Mkumbwa (not the actual photo)
Finally, the woman shared the last update
Image credits: Amit Ovadia (not the actual photo)
Image source: OppositeLeopard
Commenters were glad to receive the good news
Some people from the BORU community also shared their insights
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What do you think ?
Kate Johnson 2 months ago
ATTENTION!!! All "momma's boys" suck as partners! Avoid them like the plague.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
In fairness, “daddy’s girls” are no better; they just suck in different ways.
Load More Replies...
Drop Bear from Hell 2 months ago
This is a few years old now - would love an update on how things panned out.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
Me to , that mil is full on certifiable, to point off padded cell n straight jacket , n this time dont bloody lose the lunatic n her devils spawn ffs right ,
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Whoa! What a ride! Glad everyone helped OP do the stuff that saved her daughter from being taken + got ex-hubs +ex-MIL nothing.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Glad this was a few years ago as now the ex could have had OP deported. Just surprised racist MIL would move to Mexico.
Tamra 2 months ago
Why wasn't the MIL arrested for poisoning a child? Essential oils are toxic when ingested.
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
They can't prove she didn't know, DESPITE the fact essential oils are required to have such warning labels. you cannot prove she read it. Which is totally absurd.
Load More Replies...
Craig Reynolds 4 weeks ago
Essential oils are toxic if consumed. They are also extremely toxic to pets if just inhaled, so never use essential oils or diffusers in a home with pets.
Jayne Turner 2 months ago
My mother in law from my first marriage was evil, but then she was married to my father in law. She approved of domestic violence. My mum in law from 2nd marriage... Perfect! Loved my daughter and granddaughter, couldn't ask for better.
Norma 2 months ago
...all I can think of is what kind of f*****g oils is censored and that she can't ingest..??!?
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
When you don’t read an entire posts or any of the comments, confusion happens. (Hell; the answer is even in the title I’m seeing.) MIL gave her essential oils, which are NEVER to be ingested, regardless of what some dipshits say. They even say on the BOTTLE to call poison control if they’re ingested!
Load More Replies...
JB 2 months ago (edited)
I’m by no means a pusher of essential oils, heck… I have scent and skin sensitivity issues with laundry detergent, meaning I spent most of my life buying scent free extra gentle. And Palmolive dish detergent gives me hives. I keep most of that stuff far away from my cats and I don’t even have scented candles. But there’s a strong bias against them that isn’t based in reality. Not all essential oils are poisonous. “Many essential oils such as peppermint, lemon and orange are commonly used to flavor desserts, candies and chocolates. Other, more herbal oils, such as thyme, are better suited for flavoring savory foods such as stews and sauces. Lavender and bergamot oils have become popular in chocolate crafting especially” Yes, you have to be careful and read around the subject. But, no, essential oils are not necessarily poisonous. It’s entirely possible MIL gave the toddler lavender drops diluted to be safe in plenty of water. She was completely and utterly wrong in that decision because it didn’t account for the little girl’s health issues. Just try to understand essential oils aren’t a monolith of poison and keep tea tree well away from cats because it is.
Kate Johnson 2 months ago
ATTENTION!!! All "momma's boys" suck as partners! Avoid them like the plague.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
In fairness, “daddy’s girls” are no better; they just suck in different ways.
Load More Replies... Drop Bear from Hell 2 months ago
This is a few years old now - would love an update on how things panned out.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
Me to , that mil is full on certifiable, to point off padded cell n straight jacket , n this time dont bloody lose the lunatic n her devils spawn ffs right ,
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Whoa! What a ride! Glad everyone helped OP do the stuff that saved her daughter from being taken + got ex-hubs +ex-MIL nothing.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Glad this was a few years ago as now the ex could have had OP deported. Just surprised racist MIL would move to Mexico.
Tamra 2 months ago
Why wasn't the MIL arrested for poisoning a child? Essential oils are toxic when ingested.
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
They can't prove she didn't know, DESPITE the fact essential oils are required to have such warning labels. you cannot prove she read it. Which is totally absurd.
Load More Replies... Craig Reynolds 4 weeks ago
Essential oils are toxic if consumed. They are also extremely toxic to pets if just inhaled, so never use essential oils or diffusers in a home with pets.
Jayne Turner 2 months ago
My mother in law from my first marriage was evil, but then she was married to my father in law. She approved of domestic violence. My mum in law from 2nd marriage... Perfect! Loved my daughter and granddaughter, couldn't ask for better.
Norma 2 months ago
...all I can think of is what kind of f*****g oils is censored and that she can't ingest..??!?
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
When you don’t read an entire posts or any of the comments, confusion happens. (Hell; the answer is even in the title I’m seeing.) MIL gave her essential oils, which are NEVER to be ingested, regardless of what some dipshits say. They even say on the BOTTLE to call poison control if they’re ingested!
Load More Replies... JB 2 months ago (edited)
I’m by no means a pusher of essential oils, heck… I have scent and skin sensitivity issues with laundry detergent, meaning I spent most of my life buying scent free extra gentle. And Palmolive dish detergent gives me hives. I keep most of that stuff far away from my cats and I don’t even have scented candles. But there’s a strong bias against them that isn’t based in reality. Not all essential oils are poisonous. “Many essential oils such as peppermint, lemon and orange are commonly used to flavor desserts, candies and chocolates. Other, more herbal oils, such as thyme, are better suited for flavoring savory foods such as stews and sauces. Lavender and bergamot oils have become popular in chocolate crafting especially” Yes, you have to be careful and read around the subject. But, no, essential oils are not necessarily poisonous. It’s entirely possible MIL gave the toddler lavender drops diluted to be safe in plenty of water. She was completely and utterly wrong in that decision because it didn’t account for the little girl’s health issues. Just try to understand essential oils aren’t a monolith of poison and keep tea tree well away from cats because it is.
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