Guy Wants Traditional Marriage, Regrets It After Deeply Religious Wife Comes Up With Crazy Rules
There’s been a lot of talk lately about traditional gender roles and whether they actually work in modern relationships. Some couples swear by the old-school setup where the husband provides and the wife runs the home, while others think that kind of dynamic belongs in the past.
But one woman’s views became so strict that even her own husband started getting tired of them. She doesn’t want him helping around the house or spending too much time playing with their kids because, in her eyes, it’s unmanly and “woke.” Meanwhile, he just wants to be a good dad.
Unsure what to do, he hopped on Reddit for advice.
One man has grown completely tired of his wife’s strict views on gender roles and parenting
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He just wants to be an involved dad, but in her eyes, even playing with the kids is too “woke”
Image credits: Mihaela Claudia Puscas / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ahmet Polat / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: john_7292
Younger generations seem to be becoming more conservative about gender roles
Stories like this one raise a bigger question about where these kinds of beliefs are actually coming from these days. It’s easy to assume that very strict views on gender roles mostly belong to older generations, but this couple shows that isn’t always the case.
Both partners are still in their 20s, yet the wife already holds some pretty rigid ideas about how a marriage and family should run. In her eyes, a husband’s only role is to provide and discipline, and anything outside of that makes him less of a man. She’s happy to handle the rest herself.
This kind of sentiment actually appears to be growing, especially among younger generations. A recent study by Ipsos and King’s College London surveyed 23,000 people and found that 31% of men in their teens and twenties believed a wife should always obey her husband.
Younger women feel similarly, with 18% of Gen Z women agreeing with the statement. Meanwhile, older women born between 1945 and 1965 were the least likely to agree, coming in at just 6%.
You’d think that after decades of feminist progress, and everything women have gone through just to get the right to vote, work, own property, or have some financial independence, fewer younger women would actually want to give all of that up.
You’d expect them to want to build on that momentum and push for even better equality. Going back to a setup where a woman’s life revolves around her husband’s approval feels like a strange choice to make in 2026.
The reality, though, seems to be moving in a very different direction. Over the past few years, social media has turned the tradwife lifestyle into a whole aesthetic, and it’s become one of the most talked-about trends online.
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But why are so many women suddenly drawn to the tradwife lifestyle?
So why are so many women making such a public display of stepping away from the rights that previous generations fought so hard to secure? For a lot of them, this kind of lifestyle just feels like the most appealing way to exist as a woman in today’s society.
The truth is, the modern woman has to deal with a lot. It’s still harder for her to land the same job as a man for equal pay. And even when she does manage to build a career, studies show that once she starts a family, she usually ends up carrying the bigger load of the housework and childcare on top of everything else.
A key message of the tradwife movement is that trying to “have it all” is just too much, and that women should give themselves permission to focus on home and family while their husband handles the financial side. That’s not to say being a homemaker or raising children is easy, but it can sound comforting when the world feels overwhelming.
Radical feminist writer and activist Andrea Dworkin described this kind of choice as a strategic exchange, where women accept traditional patriarchal authority in return for a sense of stability and protection. In a way, they’re simply trying to be realistic and accept that escaping patriarchy anytime soon may not be possible, so they might as well use the system to their own advantage.
The tricky part is that this arrangement comes with a lot of risks. If a woman skips out on education and ends up fully financially dependent on her husband with no career of her own, she’s left in a pretty vulnerable spot. Leaving a harmful or unhealthy relationship, for example, becomes way harder when she simply doesn’t have the means to walk away.
Or if at any point her husband falls ill or decides he wants a divorce and leaves her with the kids, she runs into the same problem of having no money of her own to help support the family. As long as everything is going well, the arrangement holds up just fine. But the moment things go off track, the consequences can be pretty devastating.
It’s probably a good thing that, at the very least, the husband in this story finally decided to step up and try to be more present for the kids and show his wife some love, even if he wasn’t doing any of that when the children were babies. But there’s really no telling how the whole thing is going to play out for them.
What do you make of this couple? How do you think they should actually go about handling something like this? Is there any real middle ground here, or are their views just too far apart to meet? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Many readers agreed that the husband wasn’t overreacting and suggested the couple try counseling to work through their differences
Others felt that both spouses shared some blame for letting things get to this point
Dealing with relationship or dating drama like this? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic roles, boundaries, and rebuilding trust.Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Explore more of these tags
The bit that got me was her getting angry and stopping you when you play with your kids. That's unforgivable in my eyes.
I don’t understand her at all. She doesn’t want OP taking the kids fishing, or throwing footballs and hitting baseballs, and learning to swim, shoot, drive a snowmobile, bail hay, ride a motorcycle, or all the other “dad” stuff? And why the hell not? Maybe she thinks she’s raising librarians so they don’t need “fun”? Since even she herself can’t verbalize what, exactly, she wants the husband to do, I’m afraid she’s making weird kids who’ll either be the b**t of jokes or who don’t know how to socialize (or do much of anything kids do). I hope the pastor is able to help before the kids are irredeemably damaged. 😞
Load More Replies...Why are religious people so F-ing weird? I've read the Bible. Plenty. Jesus never said a single thing about women doing all the childcare or any of this tradwife nonsense. Plus, it's 2026, not 0006. The past is wayyyyyy past. Come join us in the present.
I never understood this either. I'm religious. These people are just nuts
Load More Replies...Wow. My husband and I were members of a Brethren church (think a bit stricter than Mennonite but not quite Amish) where gender roles were very very clear and NO ONE in our church was like this!! This woman has some major issues she needs to work through. Almost sounds like she was s/a by a male and is psychologically acting out because of it.
Her whole entire sense of identify is so wrapped up in her children that she doesn't know what else to do with herself. These women end up becoming nightmare MIL's because they cant stand not being the most important person in their child's life anymore.
The problem I have with this is that once he's started out saying they're both quite religious, and that they both seem to have accepted the 'tradwife' idea, any appeal to logic or common sense goes out of the window.
If you aren't religious, try to think of those who are as being live-action role players. LARPers might base their actions on 'silly'/'unusual' ideas, but there is still usually a consistency to their actions. It seems like the husband and wife aren't "roleplaying" from the same edition, but she won't tell him which edition she's using to help him see how he can fit in better. (I doubt she has a full copy of her version, anyway. Probably just a few "thou shall" and "thou shall nots" the rest got blurred in the photocopier :-p )
Load More Replies...Simone de Beauvoir said that when a woman asks to be treated as a human being she is accused of asking to be treated like a man. Here we have the reverse. A guy who wants to act like a human being is accused of wanting to act like a woman.
This isn't based on religion, it's based on mental illness. Though admittedly it's some times hard to tell the difference these days
Of course, we only heard his side of the story but she seems like a real azzzzhole.
Husband wants to be loving father and husband, wifey AAAHHHH 🤬how dare you. Still religion and kids, really mess kids up in later life.
1) This woman has trauma from her dad. In her experience, a man interacting with his kids inevitably leads him being at minimum emotionally a*****e: not just so-called discipline, but eventually in every interaction. This man needs to say to her, "I'm not trying to be your father. I'm trying to be *my* father, who left nearly all household and child-rearing tasks to my mom, but still was present and engaged with us." 2) He can lean into this further by talking about his childhood experiences with his dad, and about how he felt like his dad was more than just a role model, but a rock that he could look up to and know was always there. 3) In the short term, his best bet is to try to engage with the kids in ways that don't in any way evoke things that could be interpreted as "chores". So, no more preparing meals for now; but try sitting down with them to read a book to them, for example. Or play simple games with them.
4) I'm not going to get into all the unhealthy dynamics and rose-tinted nostalgia involved in this "trad marriage movement" thing; nor do I think it's right to insist that *all* religion is *always* bad and unhealthy, just because a LOT of it veers away from love and positive fellowship, and towards control and prejudice. But I will say this: like a lot of conservative "Christians", this wife is doing a lot of hypocritical cherry-picking about how she chooses to define both her faith and her lifestyle. Even though it's not really how he wants to live, her husband should absolutely point out that the sort of ultra-traditional gender roles that she wants so much also include the man being the head of the family and the final decision maker. She is trying to assert control that she claims to want to abdicate.
Load More Replies...Just divorce. Raise the kids like many kids these days are raised in a split household and be the father you want to be. I grew up in the unspoken gender roles and had to unlearn the stupid ideas laid down and deal with misogynistic ideas I had unconsciously internalized. If being happy and having good relationships with your kids is woke then I'm an insomniac. Woke is not the insult you may think it is. It's basically a self own, to put it in conservative dummy terms.
Hoping that their pastor will talk some sense into this woman. If he's on her side though, at least it will give OP some insight into the crazy he married into.
Is this woman baking bread from scratch and growing her own veggies? According to social media, real trad wives do. Otherwise, she's a narcissist and a control freak.
"Why are you doing nice things for your wife?! You're setting a bad example and acting like you realize the US government is set up to marginalize black and brown people and women!" Huh? Dude needs to dump her off that alone. Let her experience post-trad wife life.
Both these people sound insufferable. Imagine basing your life decisions and morals on a god you can't see or prove is real? Having said that only the most extreme cult like religions live in a way where the father doesn't interact with his children in a loving, nurturing way. If they are going to live the life then he should act the part. Put his foot down and tell his wife how he will parent his children.
Fork this guy. He wants to hang with his kids AFTER all the hard stuff is over-diapers, lost of sleep, teething, 3am feedings, etc. He wants to PLAY now? Fork him.
Where he actively tried to do it, but she told him off for it?
Load More Replies..."She might have been abvsed, but her fater = possible abvser died 15 years ago." So what, and you can't ask her? Plus "I made her a nice breakfast, yeah, se.x was on my mind but I also..." Yeah, boy, se.x was on your mind. Don't get me wrong, she overreacts, but he doesn't sound as if he cares much about her, now that he successfully got her breeding.
He's allowed to want to have séx with his wife, the woman he loves. Déad bedrooms can be really, really emotionally and psychologically damaging. And not everyone wants to talk about the ábuse they may or may not have suffered at a parent's hands, especially if that ábuse was séxual in nature. Incidentally, OP said that he THINKS that her father was "a bit of an ásshole." He didn't use the word "ábuser", so I think you're jumping to conclusions that OP's wife was possibly ábused by her father. I'm no Man-Champion, Defender Of Men, but you seem to instantly find the men in these posts at fault, regardless of how unhinged and irrational their significant others are acting.
Load More Replies...The bit that got me was her getting angry and stopping you when you play with your kids. That's unforgivable in my eyes.
I don’t understand her at all. She doesn’t want OP taking the kids fishing, or throwing footballs and hitting baseballs, and learning to swim, shoot, drive a snowmobile, bail hay, ride a motorcycle, or all the other “dad” stuff? And why the hell not? Maybe she thinks she’s raising librarians so they don’t need “fun”? Since even she herself can’t verbalize what, exactly, she wants the husband to do, I’m afraid she’s making weird kids who’ll either be the b**t of jokes or who don’t know how to socialize (or do much of anything kids do). I hope the pastor is able to help before the kids are irredeemably damaged. 😞
Load More Replies...Why are religious people so F-ing weird? I've read the Bible. Plenty. Jesus never said a single thing about women doing all the childcare or any of this tradwife nonsense. Plus, it's 2026, not 0006. The past is wayyyyyy past. Come join us in the present.
I never understood this either. I'm religious. These people are just nuts
Load More Replies...Wow. My husband and I were members of a Brethren church (think a bit stricter than Mennonite but not quite Amish) where gender roles were very very clear and NO ONE in our church was like this!! This woman has some major issues she needs to work through. Almost sounds like she was s/a by a male and is psychologically acting out because of it.
Her whole entire sense of identify is so wrapped up in her children that she doesn't know what else to do with herself. These women end up becoming nightmare MIL's because they cant stand not being the most important person in their child's life anymore.
The problem I have with this is that once he's started out saying they're both quite religious, and that they both seem to have accepted the 'tradwife' idea, any appeal to logic or common sense goes out of the window.
If you aren't religious, try to think of those who are as being live-action role players. LARPers might base their actions on 'silly'/'unusual' ideas, but there is still usually a consistency to their actions. It seems like the husband and wife aren't "roleplaying" from the same edition, but she won't tell him which edition she's using to help him see how he can fit in better. (I doubt she has a full copy of her version, anyway. Probably just a few "thou shall" and "thou shall nots" the rest got blurred in the photocopier :-p )
Load More Replies...Simone de Beauvoir said that when a woman asks to be treated as a human being she is accused of asking to be treated like a man. Here we have the reverse. A guy who wants to act like a human being is accused of wanting to act like a woman.
This isn't based on religion, it's based on mental illness. Though admittedly it's some times hard to tell the difference these days
Of course, we only heard his side of the story but she seems like a real azzzzhole.
Husband wants to be loving father and husband, wifey AAAHHHH 🤬how dare you. Still religion and kids, really mess kids up in later life.
1) This woman has trauma from her dad. In her experience, a man interacting with his kids inevitably leads him being at minimum emotionally a*****e: not just so-called discipline, but eventually in every interaction. This man needs to say to her, "I'm not trying to be your father. I'm trying to be *my* father, who left nearly all household and child-rearing tasks to my mom, but still was present and engaged with us." 2) He can lean into this further by talking about his childhood experiences with his dad, and about how he felt like his dad was more than just a role model, but a rock that he could look up to and know was always there. 3) In the short term, his best bet is to try to engage with the kids in ways that don't in any way evoke things that could be interpreted as "chores". So, no more preparing meals for now; but try sitting down with them to read a book to them, for example. Or play simple games with them.
4) I'm not going to get into all the unhealthy dynamics and rose-tinted nostalgia involved in this "trad marriage movement" thing; nor do I think it's right to insist that *all* religion is *always* bad and unhealthy, just because a LOT of it veers away from love and positive fellowship, and towards control and prejudice. But I will say this: like a lot of conservative "Christians", this wife is doing a lot of hypocritical cherry-picking about how she chooses to define both her faith and her lifestyle. Even though it's not really how he wants to live, her husband should absolutely point out that the sort of ultra-traditional gender roles that she wants so much also include the man being the head of the family and the final decision maker. She is trying to assert control that she claims to want to abdicate.
Load More Replies...Just divorce. Raise the kids like many kids these days are raised in a split household and be the father you want to be. I grew up in the unspoken gender roles and had to unlearn the stupid ideas laid down and deal with misogynistic ideas I had unconsciously internalized. If being happy and having good relationships with your kids is woke then I'm an insomniac. Woke is not the insult you may think it is. It's basically a self own, to put it in conservative dummy terms.
Hoping that their pastor will talk some sense into this woman. If he's on her side though, at least it will give OP some insight into the crazy he married into.
Is this woman baking bread from scratch and growing her own veggies? According to social media, real trad wives do. Otherwise, she's a narcissist and a control freak.
"Why are you doing nice things for your wife?! You're setting a bad example and acting like you realize the US government is set up to marginalize black and brown people and women!" Huh? Dude needs to dump her off that alone. Let her experience post-trad wife life.
Both these people sound insufferable. Imagine basing your life decisions and morals on a god you can't see or prove is real? Having said that only the most extreme cult like religions live in a way where the father doesn't interact with his children in a loving, nurturing way. If they are going to live the life then he should act the part. Put his foot down and tell his wife how he will parent his children.
Fork this guy. He wants to hang with his kids AFTER all the hard stuff is over-diapers, lost of sleep, teething, 3am feedings, etc. He wants to PLAY now? Fork him.
Where he actively tried to do it, but she told him off for it?
Load More Replies..."She might have been abvsed, but her fater = possible abvser died 15 years ago." So what, and you can't ask her? Plus "I made her a nice breakfast, yeah, se.x was on my mind but I also..." Yeah, boy, se.x was on your mind. Don't get me wrong, she overreacts, but he doesn't sound as if he cares much about her, now that he successfully got her breeding.
He's allowed to want to have séx with his wife, the woman he loves. Déad bedrooms can be really, really emotionally and psychologically damaging. And not everyone wants to talk about the ábuse they may or may not have suffered at a parent's hands, especially if that ábuse was séxual in nature. Incidentally, OP said that he THINKS that her father was "a bit of an ásshole." He didn't use the word "ábuser", so I think you're jumping to conclusions that OP's wife was possibly ábused by her father. I'm no Man-Champion, Defender Of Men, but you seem to instantly find the men in these posts at fault, regardless of how unhinged and irrational their significant others are acting.
Load More Replies...






















































34
35