A huge part of parenting is understanding what sort of a parent you want to be and what sort of a kid you want to have raised in the end. In other words, have an aim, know what you want.
But sometimes your choices as a parent can be controversial. This is the point where there is a clash between two major forces: the parents along with their decisions based on their unique context on one side and the overall general opinion, social climate and reasoning aimed at the children’s welfare. And you know the internet loves those, no matter the side.
More Info: TikTok
A mother recently shared 13 controversial ways that she’s gonna parent her kids
Image credits: theorganicmami
“No sleepovers, nope, not even with family members”
“She will never be left alone with a male. I don’t care if you’re the grandpa, the uncle, or the cousin.”
“I won’t treat my daughter differently than I treat my son. For instance, like me letting my son go out late, but not my daughter, because it’s too dangerous for a woman. I’m just going to treat them both the same.”
Image credits: theorganicmami
“Secrets will not be kept from your parents”
“And if you’re one of those people now saying ‘I’ll give you candy when your mom’s not here, just don’t tell her,’ that’s the quickest way to never see us again.”
“She doesn’t have to kiss you, hug you, sit on your lap or anything else just because you asked her to and because you’re a relative and haven’t seen her in a long time. She doesn’t have to respect you, if you don’t also respect her as a child. ”
Image credits: theorganicmami
“As a child, she still will have opinions, emotions, and she’s allowed to feel a certain way”
“We will take mental health days when needed and she’s allowed to express herself and learn to regulate her emotions.”
“We’re not going to do a public school system that makes you sit at a desk for eight hours and not learn anything you really care about.”
Image credits: theorganicmami
Image credits: lucas souza (not the actual photo)
“We will always use holistic methods before we resort to Western medicine”
“I’m teaching her to stand up for herself, set boundaries and say ‘no’.”
“I’m not going to force her to share or force her to finish her plate of food.”
Image credits: theorganicmami
“I won’t ever talk poorly about myself in front of her and I won’t make comments about her appearance or her body image”
“I’m teaching her she can always come to me and never have to hide anything. As a mom, I’m not always right. And I make mistakes and I’ll own up to it and apologize.”
Image credits: theorganicmami
“Nothing will ever be just because I said so”
“I’ll have legitimate reasons we’re choosing to travel with her. Even when it’s hard as an infant and a toddler. It’s worth making all the memories and experiences with our family.”
“We already started saying daily affirmations together. I want her to know her worth and not ever look to others for validation.”
Image credits: theorganicmami
Needless to say, this stirred a bit of a discussion among netizens, with many focusing on the “no sleepovers” rule
A mother on TikTok is in the news today for a rapid-fire style video of hers where she lists some of the decisions she’s made with regards to the parenting of her daughter. The caption in the video reads “controversial ways I’m raising my daughter as a young first-time mom.” The description of the video reiterates this, adding “call me crazy, [I don’t care.]”
In the video, she lists 13 different ways she’s going to approach parenting her daughter. A good number of these were actually very reasonable and quite normal in this day and age, according to folks online. Teaching the importance of setting boundaries, teaching them to say no, teaching the choice to refuse hugs and kisses from family members, heck, being open and learning to manage emotions are all very good and healthy approaches to raising a kid.
What did seem quite controversial to the crowd—one of a few options, but this particular one got the most attention—was the idea that the mom will not allow sleepovers. This includes family members too. She went on to specify that she will never leave her daughter alone with any male, doesn’t matter if it’s a grandpa, an uncle or a cousin. That is off limits.
In a different point, she also elaborated that she will not treat her daughter any differently than how she treats her son. So, if it’s the case that she’ll let her son stay out late, she’ll apply the same treatment with her daughter. By proxy, we can assume it’s the same the other way around too.
And this is where the internet was torn about this. One side of the virtual barricade claimed that no sleepovers means missing out on some of the best memories with friends or cousins or other family. Others expanded upon that, saying that kids might miss out on a lot more than just memories—think all the fun games the friend and their family could have in store, or maybe even going to some local amusement park or whatever before the sleepover. If anything, it’s a chance to see a different side of life.
Another thing a lot pointed out is that this prohibition might lead to unresolved anger and hate towards the mother for not letting a kid experience something that is inherently fun and the closest thing that kids get to freedom from their parents. This prompted one commenter to joke that the mom’s going straight to a retirement home after it’s all done and done.
One side argued that that sleepovers are a great source of forming great relationships and memories while the other claimed it’s often unsafe for a number of reasons
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
However, there was a number of netizens agreeing with the mother. For the most part, it’s personal experience: it was either people saying that they weren’t allowed and now that they’ve grown up, they understand why and respect their mothers for it; or they understood firsthand why this can be an issue. After all, not all family can be entrusted with a kid.
The other more controversial rules that generated debate were the holistic medical treatment and the family hugging and kissing one. The first one’s less of a debate as you’d have to be a medic to truly be able to determine the best course of medical action. The other, however, while does seem like it limits freedom of intimacy, the mom never really stated that it can’t happen—the kid can choose to hug or kiss family members if she wants to, but she is not forced into a culture that disregards this boundary.
There’s a lot to unpack, so let’s have at it: are sleepovers good or bad? The tl;dr of it is it depends. Carolyn Ievers-Landis, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, explains that while there are things to consider, safety-wise, before allowing a sleepover, there’s also the good side of it.
If you can be satisfied with the answers to questions like who’s gonna be supervising the kids, what electronics will the kids have at their disposal, what are the household’s restrictions, are there firearms at home and is the house otherwise secure, then you’re set. There are also things like allergies and sleep problems to consider, but that’s something that the parent has more control over as opposed to the above factors that are controlled by the other family. If not, there’s always the option of hosting a sleepover.
Sleepovers, however, do serve a beneficial purpose. The most obvious ones are the development and understanding of independence and the skills to adapt to situations outside the kids’ usual routines. This in turn means increased self-sufficiency, less separation anxiety, and more flexibility. Besides, it’s fun. All you gotta do is handle the rest.
So, what are your opinions and thoughts on this? Would you as parents allow sleepovers? Do you agree with any of the other rules in this mom’s list? Let us know in the comment section below!
You can see a glimpse of the header debate here:
Some of these I get, but the use of holistic methods before modern medicine is stupid.
"I want her to know her worth and not ever look to others for validation.”...as I apply makeup in front of a camera for likes on TikTok. 🙄
Repeat after me.. "I only make these videos for myself. It's EMPOWERING! You don't ever need the approval of others! Please like and subscribe!"
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Ah, the naivete of first time parents. While some are great ideas and very positive, a lot of them ate fast ways to alienate your child.
The first thing that popped into my mind when she said they'll never let them be alone with a male was that she was abused and never got help for the trauma.
Yeah. Daughter is missing out on building positive relationships with boys/men. My Dad and brother took good care of me. My brother could be kinda mean but never intimidating.
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Yeah, I had a lot of big ideas unique and superior to the mass of the human race too. But as the saying goes “no plan survives first contact with the enemy.”
Or as Mike Tyson put it: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”.
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A lot to unpack here, one thing about sleepovers, with no public schooling, means much reduced possibility of making a lot of friends. At first blush it sounds like OP has some trust issues and possible abuse issues, plus is probably on the home schooling "if I don't need to know it to be a housewife nobody needs it" train. Thus possibly wrecking any chance their kids has to get ahead in any STEM field, probably by design. Ignorance is a disease easily cured, plus they usually hate vaccines too. Seems like a high potential for mom to move on to abuse if daughter not sufficiently compliant.
I was homeschooled for 8th grade and forced to take the high school equivalency test at 14, and then forced to start college classes (I was in public school all the way up til 8th grade.) I am 41 now and I still resent my mother for doing this to me, as I lost out on a lot of socialization. I also lost all of my friends, which, when you are 13-14, is darned devastating. My mom wanted to broadcast to everyone what a “genius” I was and was sooo smart that I started college at 14. Spoilers from the ending: I still hate her for doing that to me, I never got more than my two-year degree due to burnout, and I still have problems socializing and making friends. “I’m gonna homeschool my kids!!!” always makes me cringe.
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So, "She is taught to stand up for herself, but only until she decides to keep a secret.". Great. "She will have opinions and emotions, but no secrets." I will never force her to share, unless to share a secret". "She will be taught about setting up boundaries, but not between her and her mom, nope.". I can see where this is going.
Children naturally want to keep some things to themselves, that aren't anything to do with their parents. Though usually they have school and friends and a life outside of their parents that make this possible. Wanting to know everything - that's not healthy. Children need to learn to be independent. This mother seems to have forgotten the main aim of parenting is to raise a child to be a healthy, and hopefully happy, functioning member of society.
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She's so concerned about men being in contact with her daughter. Meanwhile, other women are not all safe, either. They, too, can touch little girl's inappropriately, disrespect their privacy and all in the phrase of "It's okay. We're all girls here." Her ideas are going to boomerang when her daughter ends up anxious around males, gets a treatable illness that worsens because "holistic is natural", and when her kid gets invited to sleepovers she's forced to refuse. And what's she going to do when her daughter gets a male teacher, or male guidance counsellor? Plus, she doesn't want her daughter in the public school system learning things she doesn't want. Well, to homeschool you still have to follow the curriculum. She can opt for Montessori, but she'll have to pony up the expensive fees.
“Don’t ever stay over with family members” would appear to translate to “I have deep-seated issues with my entire family”. “You may not keep any secrets from me,” indicate that the mother will not respect boundaries - you’re not obligated to tell your parents everything, and even if you *do* so, you’re free to keep it to yourself whilst you process it first. “We will ALWAYS use holistic medicine before Western medicine” may mean the kid dies before it gets urgent treatment - “always” can be the enemy of good sense.
The "no secrets" things just means the kid will hide things even more.
Load More Replies... No sleepovers with family? Dumb. Holistic medicine 1st? Dumb. Body image and autonomy-Good
Start saving now for your poor child's soon to be astronomical therapy costs due to excessive social isolation in childhood.
„Holistic methods“ instead of medicine is not controversial, it’s plain stupid and frankly child endangerment!
Had us in the first half 💀. Like I can get giving ginger ale for a mild stomach flu or some lemon honey stuff for a sore throat to see if it helps, but doing every holistic thing before even considering a doctor?
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It's always a hoot when people who have not raised children lecture folks on how to raise children.
Can you please explain this to my 3 childless SIL's who keep arguing amongst themselves over whether or not MY child should have a pacifier, co-sleep, swaddled, breastfed, literally anything that isn't their choice.
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"She will never be left alone with a male. I don’t care if you’re the grandpa, the uncle, or the cousin.” Ma'am. Ma'am. What the f**k. Not all men????? This idiot is raising her kid to fear and hate ALL MEN. Wtfwtfwtf. This isn't even being "woke"! This is control and fear being forcefed to a baby! Hope the crunchy mom likes being NC. Absolutely wild. I feel SO BAD for her kid(s).
This is the same as childless people stating how they are going to parent their child. “Always” “never” are really strong words in the parenting world. So much of parenting is adapt as you go. By all means have goals and ideals, but announcing “this is how it’s going to be” before you child is born or really develops a personality can become super controlling real quick.
I was thinking this too! I started with MY child will only eat wholesome full-grain meals... "FRIES!" was one of her first words.
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Have a friend who raised her daughter much like this. The day the daughter turned 18 she left for another state and only comes home once a year. Thinks her mom is insane and doesn't let her see her kid more than that one time a year. So think carefully about your future daughter as well.
Please don't post these awful tiktoks. This person doesn't need a larger audience for her idiocy.
If you can't trust your dad or father in law (assuming you have no reason to distrust them) that's insane. I trust my father in law implicitly and would never hesitate to leave my 3 year old daughter with him. Also, nothing tests your ideals like reality.
You should be thankful you have a family you can trust. Sadly many of us have different experiences.
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Because a lot of people think that awful s**t will happen even though the chances are slim 🙄
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I feel that this mom has some great ideas but doesn't give her child a good social life. Homeschool, no sleepovers, no hanging out alone with males, I feel bad for the poor kid. The mom seems insecure and a bit controlling. Some of the things she plans on doing as a mom are great, but I hope some of her views change so she can give her child a better life
Man, I'm torn on this one. I agree with her wanting to treat her children the same, no matter the gender. I agree that her daughter should be able to set her own boundaries on the whole kissing and hugging other people as well. I was often told as a child that I need to go kiss and hug this family member that I didn't even know. I was uncomfortable with it and didn't know how to say that I was because this was a family member, how could I say no to that? Like kudos to this mom for that. I don't agree on the Holistic approach before going to a doctor though. Yeah, sometimes medicine is pushed more than it should but there are conditions and illnesses and injuries that absolutely need to be treated with modern medicine. And I'm torn on the whole schooling thing. Did I understand that right? She wants to home school her child? Like I get wanting your child to be interested in the things they're learning and yeah, sometimes public schools really suck. But I think, for the most part, it's better for a child to go to an actual school. They'll learn how to handle themselves around other kids their own age. They'll be able to explore their interests and make friends with people who share those interests. I don't know on that one. I don't think I know enough about homeschooling to be speaking on that one.
This child will grow up afraid of every man. Teaching your kids that a group of people is always the enemy is sick.
Everything but holistic medicine I agree with. I'm a big fat man. I was a big fat little boy. I was still fondled by my best friend's uncle at a sleepover. Dude just shoved his hands down my pants and squeezed, giving me a creepy as heck grin.
My bf was raised this way, and he’s the most anti authoritarian, doesn’t listen, rebels against stupid stuff and as I’m staying at his parents house and seeing how much childhood he couldn’t have from sleepovers and ‘the truth’ thing, which is usually them guilt tripping the kid, people are allowed secrets. These two thing in particular I can see messed with him. And no alone time with men? I would of kicked a stir over that, I loved my dad and me time and my weekend sleepovers at my uncles with horror movies 😝 don’t teach girls to be scared of all men, that’s dangerous
Everyone's a perfect parent until they become a parent. But I will say that some of these I agree with (no forced physical contact with anyone), some I disagree with but understand (abuse does occasionally happen during sleepovers). But mostly, it's just the naivete of a FTM. I myself swore that there would be absolutely no digital time; that lasted until my daughter was about 2.5/3, when I realized that tv time made an effective reward.
holistic medication before western? yeah thats gonna go well.... are you gonna refuse to vaccinate? irresponsble, immature, childish opinion to have. should call CPS on her just for that.
My mum never let me have a sleepover and I missed out on it all 😭 it was always with girls as well (this was a time where I didn't know i was lesbian and also i was extremely young)
You really limit yourself when you say no"just because I said so" rules. Somethings you just have bad feelings about and trying to explain that to a kid when they aren't ready for the reason is difficult.
Sounds like the child isn't born yet or is very very young. I know many first time parents who had their "rules" set out early on, and many of those rules went out the window when the parents realised they just aren't feasible or simply don't work. I am an older parent to a 6-month-old, and my years make me old enough to realise that I don't know much. We'll see what kind of person my daughter ends up being, and we'll adapt our parenting accordingly.
None of these ideas are new. They have all been tried and they have results. Just not good results. Whether you like it or not, living in society means you interact with society. The child needs to learn how to interact with society and they can't if they are locked up. Being unable to navigate an ever changing social network is going to make growing, learning, survival that much harder for them. Growing up in a box has never really worked out for people in the long run.
the sleepover one is fine for school friends, especially if you don’t know the parents, imo. no family though is crazy. i grew up staying at my grandparents and it was like a little vacation. some of these are ok, but others are a little crazy
Most of these rules are fine, whatever, basically just my parents rules for me, but actually what the f**k? Holistic methods? Are you actually witholding HEALTH from your kid? Plus I know she is about to exploit her kid on her TikTok the second it comes out of the womb...also, you can't force your child not to have secrets from you. Trust is a two way street. If you keep secrets from your kid, they'll keep secrets from you.
I want an update when the daughter is 15 on how this plan is working out.
It just really sounds like this poor lady has had a lot of negative life experiences and she is scared that her daughter is going to have them too. Some of them seem like a bit of an overcorrection, but I am hoping that as her daughter grows, they will be able to find some joy and optimism together. (Also, is she saying that the daughter will do no public schooling or that she is going to try to advocate for her daughter to have an active, engaged experience? Because that one seemed both vague and sweeping.)
Good luck with all that. Sounds very controlling to me. Plus no sleepovers?
Uneducated and deluded people raising uneducated and deluded children.
Theoretical parenting is SO easy! *hearts, unicorns, rainbows*
I’d like to think that we’re not dumb enough to get parenting advice off TikTok. I’m realistic enough to realize that we are that dumb. And this poor kiddo will suffer the consequences for the rest of their life.
Lol, opposite spectrum of this. I was ALWAYS sleeping over at my friend's houses because I hated being home. My parents didn't give a s**t as long as I told them around 1:00 a.m that I decided to spend the night.
That secrets one spoke to me though like once your child gets found out about their secrets they'll only try other ways to hide it
This are not very controversial... except for the holistic medicine. An anti-vaxxer?
So not being allowed secrets and not being allowed anywhere near boys isn't controversial?
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No sleep over rule is a great rule. There are so many dangers at sleepovers, first is being touched. Second is gun ownership. You can control what happens in your presence but if you aren't present you can't prevent horrific incidents. Protect those children. No sleep overs!!!
Yes, If she agreed with science, let her child learn and flourish, and gave her less strict boundaries.
Load More Replies... Some of these I get, but the use of holistic methods before modern medicine is stupid.
"I want her to know her worth and not ever look to others for validation.”...as I apply makeup in front of a camera for likes on TikTok. 🙄
Repeat after me.. "I only make these videos for myself. It's EMPOWERING! You don't ever need the approval of others! Please like and subscribe!"
Load More Replies... Ah, the naivete of first time parents. While some are great ideas and very positive, a lot of them ate fast ways to alienate your child.
The first thing that popped into my mind when she said they'll never let them be alone with a male was that she was abused and never got help for the trauma.
Yeah. Daughter is missing out on building positive relationships with boys/men. My Dad and brother took good care of me. My brother could be kinda mean but never intimidating.
Load More Replies... Yeah, I had a lot of big ideas unique and superior to the mass of the human race too. But as the saying goes “no plan survives first contact with the enemy.”
Or as Mike Tyson put it: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”.
Load More Replies... A lot to unpack here, one thing about sleepovers, with no public schooling, means much reduced possibility of making a lot of friends. At first blush it sounds like OP has some trust issues and possible abuse issues, plus is probably on the home schooling "if I don't need to know it to be a housewife nobody needs it" train. Thus possibly wrecking any chance their kids has to get ahead in any STEM field, probably by design. Ignorance is a disease easily cured, plus they usually hate vaccines too. Seems like a high potential for mom to move on to abuse if daughter not sufficiently compliant.
I was homeschooled for 8th grade and forced to take the high school equivalency test at 14, and then forced to start college classes (I was in public school all the way up til 8th grade.) I am 41 now and I still resent my mother for doing this to me, as I lost out on a lot of socialization. I also lost all of my friends, which, when you are 13-14, is darned devastating. My mom wanted to broadcast to everyone what a “genius” I was and was sooo smart that I started college at 14. Spoilers from the ending: I still hate her for doing that to me, I never got more than my two-year degree due to burnout, and I still have problems socializing and making friends. “I’m gonna homeschool my kids!!!” always makes me cringe.
Load More Replies... So, "She is taught to stand up for herself, but only until she decides to keep a secret.". Great. "She will have opinions and emotions, but no secrets." I will never force her to share, unless to share a secret". "She will be taught about setting up boundaries, but not between her and her mom, nope.". I can see where this is going.
Children naturally want to keep some things to themselves, that aren't anything to do with their parents. Though usually they have school and friends and a life outside of their parents that make this possible. Wanting to know everything - that's not healthy. Children need to learn to be independent. This mother seems to have forgotten the main aim of parenting is to raise a child to be a healthy, and hopefully happy, functioning member of society.
Load More Replies... She's so concerned about men being in contact with her daughter. Meanwhile, other women are not all safe, either. They, too, can touch little girl's inappropriately, disrespect their privacy and all in the phrase of "It's okay. We're all girls here." Her ideas are going to boomerang when her daughter ends up anxious around males, gets a treatable illness that worsens because "holistic is natural", and when her kid gets invited to sleepovers she's forced to refuse. And what's she going to do when her daughter gets a male teacher, or male guidance counsellor? Plus, she doesn't want her daughter in the public school system learning things she doesn't want. Well, to homeschool you still have to follow the curriculum. She can opt for Montessori, but she'll have to pony up the expensive fees.
“Don’t ever stay over with family members” would appear to translate to “I have deep-seated issues with my entire family”. “You may not keep any secrets from me,” indicate that the mother will not respect boundaries - you’re not obligated to tell your parents everything, and even if you *do* so, you’re free to keep it to yourself whilst you process it first. “We will ALWAYS use holistic medicine before Western medicine” may mean the kid dies before it gets urgent treatment - “always” can be the enemy of good sense.
The "no secrets" things just means the kid will hide things even more.
Load More Replies... No sleepovers with family? Dumb. Holistic medicine 1st? Dumb. Body image and autonomy-Good
Start saving now for your poor child's soon to be astronomical therapy costs due to excessive social isolation in childhood.
„Holistic methods“ instead of medicine is not controversial, it’s plain stupid and frankly child endangerment!
Had us in the first half 💀. Like I can get giving ginger ale for a mild stomach flu or some lemon honey stuff for a sore throat to see if it helps, but doing every holistic thing before even considering a doctor?
Load More Replies... It's always a hoot when people who have not raised children lecture folks on how to raise children.
Can you please explain this to my 3 childless SIL's who keep arguing amongst themselves over whether or not MY child should have a pacifier, co-sleep, swaddled, breastfed, literally anything that isn't their choice.
Load More Replies... "She will never be left alone with a male. I don’t care if you’re the grandpa, the uncle, or the cousin.” Ma'am. Ma'am. What the f**k. Not all men????? This idiot is raising her kid to fear and hate ALL MEN. Wtfwtfwtf. This isn't even being "woke"! This is control and fear being forcefed to a baby! Hope the crunchy mom likes being NC. Absolutely wild. I feel SO BAD for her kid(s).
This is the same as childless people stating how they are going to parent their child. “Always” “never” are really strong words in the parenting world. So much of parenting is adapt as you go. By all means have goals and ideals, but announcing “this is how it’s going to be” before you child is born or really develops a personality can become super controlling real quick.
I was thinking this too! I started with MY child will only eat wholesome full-grain meals... "FRIES!" was one of her first words.
Load More Replies... Have a friend who raised her daughter much like this. The day the daughter turned 18 she left for another state and only comes home once a year. Thinks her mom is insane and doesn't let her see her kid more than that one time a year. So think carefully about your future daughter as well.
Please don't post these awful tiktoks. This person doesn't need a larger audience for her idiocy.
If you can't trust your dad or father in law (assuming you have no reason to distrust them) that's insane. I trust my father in law implicitly and would never hesitate to leave my 3 year old daughter with him. Also, nothing tests your ideals like reality.
You should be thankful you have a family you can trust. Sadly many of us have different experiences.
Load More Replies... Because a lot of people think that awful s**t will happen even though the chances are slim 🙄
Load More Replies... I feel that this mom has some great ideas but doesn't give her child a good social life. Homeschool, no sleepovers, no hanging out alone with males, I feel bad for the poor kid. The mom seems insecure and a bit controlling. Some of the things she plans on doing as a mom are great, but I hope some of her views change so she can give her child a better life
Man, I'm torn on this one. I agree with her wanting to treat her children the same, no matter the gender. I agree that her daughter should be able to set her own boundaries on the whole kissing and hugging other people as well. I was often told as a child that I need to go kiss and hug this family member that I didn't even know. I was uncomfortable with it and didn't know how to say that I was because this was a family member, how could I say no to that? Like kudos to this mom for that. I don't agree on the Holistic approach before going to a doctor though. Yeah, sometimes medicine is pushed more than it should but there are conditions and illnesses and injuries that absolutely need to be treated with modern medicine. And I'm torn on the whole schooling thing. Did I understand that right? She wants to home school her child? Like I get wanting your child to be interested in the things they're learning and yeah, sometimes public schools really suck. But I think, for the most part, it's better for a child to go to an actual school. They'll learn how to handle themselves around other kids their own age. They'll be able to explore their interests and make friends with people who share those interests. I don't know on that one. I don't think I know enough about homeschooling to be speaking on that one.
This child will grow up afraid of every man. Teaching your kids that a group of people is always the enemy is sick.
Everything but holistic medicine I agree with. I'm a big fat man. I was a big fat little boy. I was still fondled by my best friend's uncle at a sleepover. Dude just shoved his hands down my pants and squeezed, giving me a creepy as heck grin.
My bf was raised this way, and he’s the most anti authoritarian, doesn’t listen, rebels against stupid stuff and as I’m staying at his parents house and seeing how much childhood he couldn’t have from sleepovers and ‘the truth’ thing, which is usually them guilt tripping the kid, people are allowed secrets. These two thing in particular I can see messed with him. And no alone time with men? I would of kicked a stir over that, I loved my dad and me time and my weekend sleepovers at my uncles with horror movies 😝 don’t teach girls to be scared of all men, that’s dangerous
Everyone's a perfect parent until they become a parent. But I will say that some of these I agree with (no forced physical contact with anyone), some I disagree with but understand (abuse does occasionally happen during sleepovers). But mostly, it's just the naivete of a FTM. I myself swore that there would be absolutely no digital time; that lasted until my daughter was about 2.5/3, when I realized that tv time made an effective reward.
holistic medication before western? yeah thats gonna go well.... are you gonna refuse to vaccinate? irresponsble, immature, childish opinion to have. should call CPS on her just for that.
My mum never let me have a sleepover and I missed out on it all 😭 it was always with girls as well (this was a time where I didn't know i was lesbian and also i was extremely young)
You really limit yourself when you say no"just because I said so" rules. Somethings you just have bad feelings about and trying to explain that to a kid when they aren't ready for the reason is difficult.
Sounds like the child isn't born yet or is very very young. I know many first time parents who had their "rules" set out early on, and many of those rules went out the window when the parents realised they just aren't feasible or simply don't work. I am an older parent to a 6-month-old, and my years make me old enough to realise that I don't know much. We'll see what kind of person my daughter ends up being, and we'll adapt our parenting accordingly.
None of these ideas are new. They have all been tried and they have results. Just not good results. Whether you like it or not, living in society means you interact with society. The child needs to learn how to interact with society and they can't if they are locked up. Being unable to navigate an ever changing social network is going to make growing, learning, survival that much harder for them. Growing up in a box has never really worked out for people in the long run.
the sleepover one is fine for school friends, especially if you don’t know the parents, imo. no family though is crazy. i grew up staying at my grandparents and it was like a little vacation. some of these are ok, but others are a little crazy
Most of these rules are fine, whatever, basically just my parents rules for me, but actually what the f**k? Holistic methods? Are you actually witholding HEALTH from your kid? Plus I know she is about to exploit her kid on her TikTok the second it comes out of the womb...also, you can't force your child not to have secrets from you. Trust is a two way street. If you keep secrets from your kid, they'll keep secrets from you.
I want an update when the daughter is 15 on how this plan is working out.
It just really sounds like this poor lady has had a lot of negative life experiences and she is scared that her daughter is going to have them too. Some of them seem like a bit of an overcorrection, but I am hoping that as her daughter grows, they will be able to find some joy and optimism together. (Also, is she saying that the daughter will do no public schooling or that she is going to try to advocate for her daughter to have an active, engaged experience? Because that one seemed both vague and sweeping.)
Good luck with all that. Sounds very controlling to me. Plus no sleepovers?
Uneducated and deluded people raising uneducated and deluded children.
Theoretical parenting is SO easy! *hearts, unicorns, rainbows*
I’d like to think that we’re not dumb enough to get parenting advice off TikTok. I’m realistic enough to realize that we are that dumb. And this poor kiddo will suffer the consequences for the rest of their life.
Lol, opposite spectrum of this. I was ALWAYS sleeping over at my friend's houses because I hated being home. My parents didn't give a s**t as long as I told them around 1:00 a.m that I decided to spend the night.
That secrets one spoke to me though like once your child gets found out about their secrets they'll only try other ways to hide it
This are not very controversial... except for the holistic medicine. An anti-vaxxer?
So not being allowed secrets and not being allowed anywhere near boys isn't controversial?
Load More Replies... No sleep over rule is a great rule. There are so many dangers at sleepovers, first is being touched. Second is gun ownership. You can control what happens in your presence but if you aren't present you can't prevent horrific incidents. Protect those children. No sleep overs!!!
Yes, If she agreed with science, let her child learn and flourish, and gave her less strict boundaries.
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