I teach pre-kindergarten at a public school. My students are 4 and 5 years old. Last year, I had a rule that no more than 3 kids could be at a learning center at any given time. When we transitioned from carpet time to center time, I would call on the kids who were sitting quietly to pick their centers first. I had two kids sitting next to each other: James, who was sitting quietly waiting to be called on, and Allison, who kept loudly and rather obnoxiously announcing that she wanted to go to the sensory table, which I had just stocked with new toys. Two kids had already chosen to go there, so there was only one spot left.

I called on James first. He walked up to the center chart and I asked him where he wanted to go. He looked at the center chart, then at Allison, then at the center chart, then back at Allison, and while staring straight at her, jammed his finger at the sensory table.

While he was walking away, I said, "wow, James, that's cold man." But I don't think he heard me over Allison's screaming.

This is one of my favorite “f**k it” stories. I used to work at a country club. There was a girl (let’s call her Mia) that had worked there for 3-4years before me. Mia was told she was to replace the wedding manger immediately when she started, but had YET to be given the job after 3-4 years. She confided in me that she was done and ready to quit and move on and this would be her last wedding. I told her to do what was best for her.

The country club hosted a lot of weddings and we would always rotate the girls who would take care of the bride and anything she needed. I did it four or five times and only had one bride that was slightly demanding but poor Mia had the worst luck and always got the bridezillas. Mia was one of the NICEST people I ever met. I was in the lobby setting up for cocktail hour. The hall to my left had two doors a closet and the bridal suite. Mia and the bride were in the hall and heard the bride start yelling at Mia about water. They were standing in the hall and I watched the whole thing go down:

Bride: I ASKED FOR COLD WATER! THIS WATER IS ROOM TEMPERATURE! CANT YOU DO THE ONE THING IM ASKING YOU TO DO?

Mia: ma’am you asked for a bowl of ice and a pitcher of room temperature water. You asked to put the ice in yourself. You didn’t want me to touch it.

Bride: WATER IS COLD! EVEN ROOM TEMPERATURE WATER ISNT THAT WARM! IM THE BRIDE! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY! THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HERE ISNT!? TO SERVE ME!

Mia: (smiles and clears her throat) Ma’am I have gotten you water three times now I’m sorry it is not to your liking, but you know what’s not to my liking? YOU, YOU F*****G A*****E! YOUR DRESS IS HIDEOUS! YOUR WEDDING IS HIDEOUS! PURPLE AND F*****G PALE GREEN!? WHAT ARE YOU?! F*****G BARNEY?! YOU LOOK LIKE F*****G BARNEY IN THAT DRESS!! JESUS CHRIST!! F**K YOU! F**K THIS S**T! I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE FOR CHRIST SAKE I DON’T NEED THIS FROM YOU BARNEY LOOKING UGLY A*S B***H! F**K! THIS! S**T! (Storms to the office hands over her name tag and fob and leaves the bride in tears)

Mia works at a college in NC now. I miss her.

So my parents owned an automotive garage. One day a guy comes in and says my headlights don’t work it’s the switch. Dad checks isn’t out and it isn’t the switch. The dude has four blown headlights. It was the old sealed beam headlights so it was expensive but not as expensive as a switch on the column. Anyway guy piece up the car, dad explains he just needed new headlamps not a switch. Dude thanks him, pays and leaves. He comes back a little later complaining that dad didn’t do what he asked and he was ripped off. Dad explained again that wasn’t his problem but he persisted. Mom gave him his money back but told him she needed to get the lights back. Dude says nah he’ll come back. In the moment of giving no f***s mom walks out and smashes all the lights with a hammer. She comes back in and sits down as the guy is yelling about calling the cops. Mom dials 911 and hands him the phone. The cops show up and they tell him he got his money back so the lights were moms property to do with as she pleased. He yelled and the police lady told him to leave before she wrote a ticket for driving with no lights.

Edit: : wow almost 2k upvotes. That’s cool! The garage was in a good part of town, then a bad part, now it’s good again. When the neighborhood was kind of crappy we met a lot of characters and had a lot of crazy stuff happen. My Dad sold the property a few years back and I miss working there and just taking all the craziness in.

In a meeting with the very arrogant boss of our department and the company executives, there was a question about a major mistake that costs the company a product recall.

Our boss laid the blame on our department, before he was over us, saying we had modified a piece of equipment incorrectly.

One of my co-workers, a very humble man, quietly said to nobody in particular "I have pictures in my notes". Meaning, "I am throwing the boss under the bus in front of every one of his superiors in the company." He hadn't planned this, he just happened to be incredibly meticulous in taking notes and pictures and documented absolutely everything. He proceeded to do so with complete disregard for retribution from our very vengeful boss. It was quite glorious to see someone so haughty and pious get brought down so beautifully by a low-level engineer and his meticulous note/picture taking.

I use to work in a 24 hour emergency vet hospital. We were extremely busy one night dealing with stat after stat so the waiting room filled up with cases that were non emergent. One woman, who was there because her dog had an ear infection, kept harassing the receptionists demanding when she would be seen. They tried to explain to her many times that there were more emergent cases that needed to be seen first, which included one dog needing immediate cpr, she did not care. She called us every name under the sun and demanded that because she arrived before everyone she needed to be put in a room next, told her to sit down to see what could be done. Shortly after sitting down she started screaming at the top of her lungs. A family next to her whose Saint Bernard happened to have an extremely large pus filled abscess on his ear decided to shake his head right after she sat down and ruptured his foul smelling abscess allllll over her. She decided right after that her dog could wait to see his regular vet tomorrow and she went home. Everyone in the waiting room and the entire staff told that Saint Bernard how much of a good boy he was.

I went to the bank after work one time to deposit some money. Noticed that someone left their debit card in the slot, so I turned it in to the front desk.

Went to Chipotle after, got my usual order and they told me to just take it away for free since the register/card system was having issues.

Years ago I walking past a bar in upstate NY when a couple walks out, the guy goes left and the woman goes right. The guy flipped into a rage, grabs the woman, slaps her across the face and screams at her “I told you to follow me b***h!”. As soon as the words leave his mouth a giant bouncer tackles the guy, sits on his chest and starts repeatedly slapping him across the face and calling him a b***h.
Hows that feel b***h? *SLAP*
Hows that feel b***h? *SLAP*
Over and over until the cops showed up. Thats when I got out of there, not sure what happened after that lol.

Was walking back from the pub, not too late at night. It was raining. My friend stopped, lifted his foot above a snail (ready to stomp on it) and said "I f'ing hate snails" and then stomped.. It wasn't a snail, but a dog turd, which sprayed right up his other leg and shoes.

A guy cut me in line at the grocery store. I pointed out that I was in line and he just shrugged his shoulders and turned his back to me. The checker on the next line over called for next in line and he ran over there. Then the checker left while he was unloading groceries. I was able to check out and bag my groceries before his checker ever came back.

Theres a section of the beach for dogs. All the locals take their dogs there to play, no leads. There's signs designated for it.

One time, we took our previous dog down to play. This collie had nothing but absolute love for any human, even more so for kids. She saw a kid, she'd grab the ball, walk up and drop it about 5 foot away and wait patiently with a wagging tail for the throw.

This one particular day, she did just this when she saw a family. We saw her go to them, lay down and wait, we waved and smiled at them saying "You can throw it". Before we even finished the sentence, this dude stood up and full on kicked her in the ribs.

She turned to run but was gasping and crying. He went for a 2nd kick, she dodged and his bare foot went straight into a rock, f****r broke all his toes. F**k tourists honestly.

When I was in college I was holding a door open for my friend when this real entitled c**t pushed past her and shoved me. She must've thought the door was automatic or something and I was just leaning on it. I cursed and she turned around to say something just in time for the door to nail her right in the face breaking her nose.


Later tried to say I punched her but security pulled up the admin building security camera's video and hit her with disciplinary charges for it.

In high school, a shy girl asked a guy to the prom and he scornfully said no and made his disgust very public. He wasn't exactly the most popular or good looking guy, but he had big ambitions. Right after publicly embarrassing his would-be suitor, he asked a very popular girl to the prom. She made it known, very loudly, that she wanted nothing to do with him. Nasty, but I felt like he deserved it. A few days later, he asked another popular girl to the prom in a very over the top, very public promposal involving multiple expensive flower bouquets. She took one look at the spectacle and walked away without saying anything. I actually don't blame her b/c it was a pretty embarrassing and she didn't want to be involved. That was a good second wave of karma.

Seeing one of my logo designs in a job candidate’s portfolio during an interview.

End of interview.