Frugal Or Cheap: 33 Choosing Beggars With Unreasonable Demands

We like to think that good friendships can survive just about anything. Money, however, has a way of making things complicated. 

Maybe one friend earns much more than the other, or someone regularly avoids paying their share. When that keeps happening, even a close relationship can slowly start to sour.

And this seems to happen fairly often. A national study by Bread Financial found that 21% of people had permanently ended a friendship over money issues. Another 26% said they felt financially incompatible with certain friends. 

LendingTree found an even higher figure, with 36% of Americans saying they had lost a friendship because of money.

Of course, watching what you spend can be a very good thing. The trouble starts when saving money begins affecting everyone around you. 

Etiquette expert Thomas Farley explained to CNBC that the difference between being frugal and being cheap often comes down to whether other people suffer because of your choices. 

Someone can have plenty of money and still be a cheapskate if they repeatedly refuse to pay their fair share.

That kind of behavior can ruin the mood when friends spend time together. FinanceBuzz notes that constantly scrutinizing shared expenses can make others feel uncomfortable or undervalued. 

Insisting on splitting every bill down to the last cent can also make a relaxed dinner suddenly feel like a business transaction. After enough awkward outings, friends may simply stop extending invitations.

Cheapness can show up in other ways too. FinanceBuzz points out that refusing to contribute to group gifts or making friends feel guilty about their spending can create resentment. 

Saving money is a personal choice, so there is little reason to judge someone else for spending theirs differently. 

And when it comes to gifts, thoughtfulness usually matters far more than the price tag. Something inexpensive can still show that you genuinely cared enough to put effort into it.

So how do you avoid becoming the friend everyone secretly dreads discussing money with? According to Farley, one of the easiest things you can do is pay attention to how your group normally handles expenses. 

If everyone usually pays for exactly what they ordered, doing the same is perfectly reasonable. If the group tends to split bills evenly, repeatedly calculating every tiny difference could start to annoy everyone.

It also helps to be upfront when something genuinely does not fit your budget. Farley says friends are unlikely to see someone as cheap simply because they cannot afford an expensive restaurant or trip.

Saying so ahead of time gives everyone a chance to make different plans. You might suggest somewhere more affordable or simply skip an outing that would leave you struggling financially.

At the end of the day, nobody should put themselves into financial trouble just to keep their friends happy.

Still, friendships involve some amount of give and take. Saving a few dollars probably will not feel like much of a victory if it regularly leaves the people closest to you feeling used or unappreciated.

Being careful with money is smart. Just make sure your savings are not coming at the expense of your friendships.

You might also like: When people thought they’d get away with it: 42 acts of bad behavior