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“[Would I Be The Jerk] If I Cancelled My Vacation Ticket Because My Family Wants Me To Share A Room With My Nieces?”
“[Would I Be The Jerk] If I Cancelled My Vacation Ticket Because My Family Wants Me To Share A Room With My Nieces?”
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“[Would I Be The Jerk] If I Cancelled My Vacation Ticket Because My Family Wants Me To Share A Room With My Nieces?”

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As long as mankind has existed, for so long people have experienced various kinds of problems with their relatives. It all started with Cain and Abel and continues, with varying degrees of drama, to the present day. You can literally dote on your loved ones, but we are almost sure that somewhere in the depths of your soul you also have a story about some minor but unpleasant conflict with them.

In fact, everything is absolutely logical – a person, of course, is a social being, but still they are inclined to think first of all about themselves, expecting from other people some concessions to their desires. And who else can make these concessions, except for close relatives? Hence the conflicts, quarrels, and innumerable stories of family dramas, both large and unimaginably petty.

For example, as it happened to the author of this post in the AITA Reddit community – user u/Historical-Party4722, whose tale scored a whopping 18.3K upvotes and over 3.6K different comments in just a few days. This is not surprising as people like stories about family dramas. We hope you enjoy it too.

More info: Reddit

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    The author of the post and her relatives are planning to go on a family vacation together

    Image credits: Lena (not the actual photo)

    So the Original Poster is going on vacation with her family – her parents, her older brother and his wife, and her brother’s two little daughters, four and two years old. As the author of the post herself says, everyone pays for tickets and accommodation on their own, however, the entire extended family will check into a hotel in one suite with three separate rooms.

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    Image credits: Historical-Party4722

    The woman was surprised to discover that her relatives expect her to share a room with her little nieces

    The problem arose literally on the eve of departure, when the relatives decided to figure out accommodation options. And then, to the surprise of the OP, it turned out that it was a matter of course for her family that she would settle in a room with her little nieces. Accordingly, it was planned that the second room would be occupied by the OP’s brother and his wife, while their parents would stay in the third one.

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    Image credits: Historical-Party4722

    Needless to say, our heroine, to put it mildly, was not happy with this turn of events. Of course, the woman stated that she wanted to sleep alone, and that the girls could stay with their parents. Her brother tried to persuade her, stating that her nieces would not cause her any trouble, but the OP stood her ground.

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    Image credits: Historical-Party4722

    The woman told her family she’d either stay alone or simply cancel her trip

    Her parents joined in the persuasion, calling the OP dramatic, and arguing that it’s not a big deal. However, when the OP suggested that her dad and mom share a room with their granddaughters, for some reason they also flatly refused. It ended up that the woman simply threatened in this case to hand over her ticket and not go on vacation with her family at all.

    Image credits: Sarah Cooper (not the actual photo)

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    The problem was that in this case, the relatives would either have to pay extra for it, or urgently look for someone else to replace the OP, because the resort provided a group discount. Perhaps that is why the brother, in the heat of the moment, called the OP a whiny a****le and accused her of being a narcissist.

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    Relatives slammed the author for being “narcissistic” yet the commenters mostly sided with her

    However, people in the comments did not share the relatives’ opinion about the OP’s behavior, believing it to be completely justified. After all, as the commenters claim, if everyone pays for themselves, then the OP has every right to settle in the way she herself wants and not to share her room with anyone. Basically, according to some folks, our heroine’s brother and SIL, given the age of their children, just want to find a free babysitter for them.

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    Moreover, some commenters simply advise the OP not to hesitate, cancel her trip and just send a screenshot to her relatives. In any case, as people assume, she’s gonna have a miserable time – even if the girls end up staying in their parents’ room. After all, in this case, according to folks online, the OP cannot avoid the reproaches and whining of relatives throughout the whole vacation.

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    By the way, many people, in fact, sincerely believe that relatives are given to them from above as free nurses or servants. It is enough, for example, to read our post about this mother of three who tried to force her brother into babysitting her kids. And if you already have an opinion about this particular tale, we’ll be glad to read it in the comments below.

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

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    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    What do you think ?
    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course the kids should stay in their parents' room. They are the ones that decided to have children so they are the ones that should be inconvenienced with the children's presence in the room.

    kim morris
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL, the kids will be crying for mommy and daddy the whole time, who are these parents think they are fooling? Cancel! Go to Italy instead, Sister. Go and have a great time by yourself.

    Amused panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny how both the children's parents and grandparents think it should be absolutely fine for the kids to stay in the same room as OP but balk at having them in the same room as themselves. The family should have confirmed it was okay with OP first and then ensured they paid a share towards the room costs for OP since she would not be benefitting from a room on her own if she's agreed. At that age, in an unfamiliar place, and with the excitement of a holiday I doubt there would be much sleep got.

    Alexa Saltz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Babysitters get paid, they don't pay to babysit. A 2 year old and 4 year old? Won't be any problem? Hah! Those girls belong in their parent's room. Your parents are jerks. Your brother is the narcissist. Cash in your ticket and go somewhere else without the family drama.

    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s a hill I would die on. If I pay my own money for a trip I get my own room period. If I bring my daughter along then I wouldn’t expect to burden her with someone else, she’d sleep in my room. NTA, and I don’t blame her for wanting to cancel.

    EA Clark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever we traveled, I always took a babysitter (firm contract on what was expected and pay she would receive) contract was signed by both of us and notarized. Seems excessive, but then both sides are protected.

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    BonnyDK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This smacks of the single relative being made to sit at the kids table for holidays. They are using her to watch the kids. After all she doesn't have a partner to enjoy the trip with. Maybe she should dig one up and just let everyone know he will be staying in her room. Wouldn't want kids to see that now would we???

    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The couples just wanted some vacation sexy time. Good for them…then they need to pay someone to watch the little kids. Not dump them on the single adult who paid their own money to be there. Go treat yourself, honey!!

    elsieairhead
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I recently flat out refused to have my young nephew sitting with me at a wedding. My siblings (who both have children) were there. There was no reason he couldn't sit with his siblings/cousins. We are child-free, he misbehaved, and I felt no guilt at all enjoying my meal and the venue, child-free. Not a free babysitter. NTA.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Shitty parents and grandparents alert. OP just oughta say "Nope, not going! Plans changed. Buh-bye!" and leave those imbeciles to deal with their own offspring.

    Matt Rustebakke
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imbecils is exactly the right word. I would disown family if they pulled s**t like that then call names when i say i dont agree to those terms.

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    deanna woods
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know why people have kids if they are not interested in taking care of them. When my family and I went to Albuquerque last summer, my sister, aunt, and I shared a room, while my little brother and his friend stayed with our parents. It went fine for everyone and everyone had a great time. People need to stop seeing single people with no children as babysitters and see as people.

    Misty Moon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How'd you like Albu-crazy? 😂 Lol, that's where I'm originally from!

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    Seedy Vine
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents: I never knew true selflessness until I had children. Also parents: Why won't anybody babysit my children for free?

    Kiwi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went on a vacation with my sister's family including my mom. Sister's family consisted of two teen boys, a ten year old boy and a 3 year old boy. We had adjoining units and my mom and I shared one and agreed to take the ten year old boy in with us. The two teen boys had their own room. First night the 10 year old gets sick and sister and all the rest disappear into the resort, leaving my mom and I to care for him. The next night they decide to do send out for pizza and strip our room of all the chairs so that they all have room to sit. Mom and I are not in invited. On check out day I planned to take my mom out for a special breakfast and again they all disappeared leaving us with the 10 year old who was now having a tantrum. By this time so was I. My advice - cancel. Do it now. This story happened more than 20 years ago. It still makes me mad.

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How awful for you. But do try to let it go now - forgive but not forget. Forgiveness is for you and your blood pressure. Speaking as someone who has had to deal with in-laws from hell for many years and has gotten dizzy spells just from ruminating about how their antics have affected me negatively. Yoga helps a lot…

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    Mbfsc63
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cancel cancel cancel........On what planet would the assumption a 23 year old would be OK sharing a room with her young niece and nephew???? ESPECIALLY when the parents are in attendance! This is strictly about the parents wanting free babysitting. OP, pay the cancellation fee and draw a line under the whole debacle.

    Linda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a 4 and an 8 year old and my sister has no kids because that's her life choice. If we went away somewhere I would never expect her to share a room with my kids. This couple are being ridiculous to expect this of her.

    Jael Riley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something similar happened to me. Despite being furious, I made the best of it and entertained the kids, female twins age 5. We stayed up all night watching horror movies and telling terrifying tales and legends about where we were staying (mackinaw island). We ate cupcakes, candy, ice cream, chips, pizza, and washed it all down with buckets of coke and mountain dew. We also played makeover, using my semi-permanent hair chalks in hot pink, purple, green and blue, plus my super waterproof, skin tinting eyeliner. Henna tats were also on the agenda. My nieces had an absolutely fantastic time and I became the cool aunt overnight. After a really long day with the two exhausted, scared of their own shadow, neon raccoons with full henna sleeves, I was prepping for a fun night of ghost hunting and fudge sampling when I was told the twins were staying with their parents for the duration. You're welcome.

    Margaret Beier
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jael Riley That was GREAT !!!! Can't stop laughing!!

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    Sonnovab Kegeles
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Telling a a 23 year old woman that she's an a*****e and to "grow up" is not the best way to get her to do you a favor. Putz

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess the bullying technique of manipulation was the one he flavoured over being sugary sweet.

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    alwaysMispelled
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, they were for sure hoping for "auntie" to be "babysitter" on this vacation. Nope, nope, nope!

    Vix Spiderthrust
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Abandon ship and let your arseholey brother watch his own damn offspring.

    Stephanie Ventura-Montalvo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They expect her to pay to babysit kids? That's not how that's done. Sharing a room with kids that little, is babysitting, and of they want a sitter, they can pay for said sitter's stay as well as at least $15 an hour.

    James Anders
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprise! It's obvious you were invited to be the built in baby sitter. I bet they all agreed on that because you are young and single. I personally would not go. They are gaslighting your feelings calling you a narcissist when in fact they are. Cancel ticket and go somewhere fun where you are not the FREE BABY SITTER

    J Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My family has done almost this exact scenario except I was the parent. My single sister got her own room and my young kids stayed in my room. Would never even cross my mind to expect my sister to do that. If I did want to put my kids with her, I would offer to pay for her room in exchange. What a bunch of jerks.

    De Nilla
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems to me that the whole family still thinks of her as one of the kids, even at 23. The fact that they didn't mention it to her and now are trying to guilt her is a sign of a larger issue. I'd space myself and live my own life until they realize she's an adult. They're obviously still excluding her from the adult conversations if everyone was on the same page except her

    m.w.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, OP's parents say it is not a big deal? And the 2 and 4 y.o. will not disturb any one? I see they've just volunteered!

    aubergine10003
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate SOOOO hard to this. I have many examples, but the best one is: when I used to go visit some relatives in Newport RI with my boyfriend, we got our own room. After we broke up, they started putting me on an air mattress in the "kids room" with my young nephew and his cousins (it was kind of a big space with a divider made of a bookshelf, but still the same room). it took me several years to realize how absolutely insulting this was. Haven't gone in a few years thanks to the pandemic, but next time this happens, I'll be staying at a nearby Airbnb.

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! My husband and I used to get sent down to the basement on an air mattress at Christmas visiting his relatives and the kids would come down and play video games when we weren’t up yet. I’d hate to think my bare butt was hanging out of my nightie and blankets from all the tossing and turning on one of those uncomfortable things. After a couple years of that, I finally booked a hotel.

    Load More Replies...
    Beck
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they want the kids too stay in her room then they need to be paying for 2/3 of the room if not the whole thing! I will be damned if I pay for my own room then have to SHARE AND BABYSIT TODDLERS ON THE VACATION I PAID MY OWN WAY FOR.

    Got Myself 4 Pandas
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest two are 8 and 5 and I'd still have them sleep in my room - no way would I expect my younger sister to have to sleep with them

    Will Cable
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It feels like she is being used as a baby sitter hence being in the same room with them.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is 100% leading to OP being forced to care for the kids while the others get to enjoy an actual vacation kid-free. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the only reason OP got invited. Vacation or not, my kids stay in my room with me. Little kids (ages 1 to 5) get scared easily by new surroundings and need to be near mom and dad. I would cancel my ticket and plan a vacation by myself, if I was in OP's situation.

    Louise Platiel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Room assignments not withstanding, a vacation with a family that lacks respect, ignores boundaries, and gaslights you when you try to be firm will NOT be much of a vacation. Go away with some people who treat you better. Vks are too expensive to waste.

    Marty Sunderland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially since they didn't ask first, the kids belong with their parents or grandparents.Even if those kids are perfect, they aren't OP's responsibility.

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They say vacation, I say free baby sitter

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have too many people for a three bedroom. LW is paying for her trip and should cancel if the accommodations don’t work for her.

    bob van wijk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they and the grandparents have to have their own room, cause they have to have sex, they should take 4 rooms.

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    James Anders
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SURPRISE! YOUR FREE BABYSITTING. You are being bamboozled and gaslit by your family. Don't go. Let your parents get sick of having kids hoisted on them the whole trip. Skip this drama. You would be forced to watch the kids day/night. Or be told go to bed when kids do as to not wake them. Try to take a shower at 1030pm, with sleeping kids. They will be up wondering around or crying for parents. You'll be stuck soothing them while parents blissfully sleep. Your parents and brother are narcissistic. Go have fun doing something you love. Sans kids.

    Joyce Monty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids are the PARENTS responsibility, not the aunts. I'd bail on the whole trip and let brother, SIL and the grandparents fight it out .

    Craftaholic Anonymous
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously this is your family and as comfortable as they were to make arrangements for you you should feel just as comfortable to say I am sorry but I am not OK with sharing a room and if that isn't understood you are not a jerk and just cancel.

    Cory Tollman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's multiple reasons for her to cancel. First the assumption that she'd be okay sharing a room with two young children. Second, the comments she got from her brother after she said she didn't want to share a room with two young children. Even if he backed off on the first part the statement afterwards would be enough for me not to go on this vacation.

    John G
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Third - you know they are expecting her to be full-time babysitter on the trip.

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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife's bff travels with us pretty regularly. She came with us recently on a monthlong trip to England and France. There were a few places where she shared a room with our 15 year old daughter (separate beds) and some where they had their own rooms. When our daughter was younger, we would share our room with her and would never have expected the bff to babysit or be responsible for her. And to expect her to sleep with two toddlers... definitely expected her to be the nanny on her own dime...

    Pamela Blue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd lik to know what the result of this situation was. Did she go? Did she cancel? What?

    Skylar Jaxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to cancel once when they thought my sis and fiance should get a separate room while me and my HUSBAND share with their kids. Because im one year younger than my sis I was like wtf no ma'am cancel our spot.

    CL Rowan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come down with a case of Covid the day before the trip. After they leave, plan your own vacation that you'll ACTUALLY enjoy.

    CL Rowan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kids can sleep in the living room of the suite the family rented. Aunt is NOT THE FRICKING NANNY! Brother & his woman can focus on caring for their kids and not trying to make another one who they'll shove off onto relatives. *OR* you can have the kids in your room and BILL THEM $30 an HR ($10 EACH with 50% after hours rate((staying in your room overnight)), PLUS $100 additional fee for the miserably short notice) for watching the kids . Notify them that the parents will be woken EVERY TIME the little darlings want something to care for them! THEN DO IT. Bill them and SUE if they don't pay.

    Jen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It doesnt sound like they got a suite, just 3 separate regular hotel rooms (since it was a group discount and OP can cancel just her room). The parents wouldnt even be available or easy to get to if the kids were with OP. Its better for her just to cancel and book her own trip elsewhere at that time (and not tell them where).

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    Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They need to stay with either their parents or grandparents. Or better yet why can't the SIL's parents watch the kids so they can have an actual vacation. Very hard to have a decent vaca with kids that age.

    Koni Rose Royval
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never once left the kids behind. I have not once regretted the choice. Kids grow up so fast and I have had years without them. I would never tell anyone to babysit my children.

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    Gabriel Gawrada
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Such a tricky age, you are growing up still and standing your ground. Sad your family doesn’t get that. Their verbal badgering is abusive and disrespectful in the extreme. Why on earth would they expect you to share a room you have paid for? NTA.

    Bea T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time I would make my sibling share with my kids is if I paid for the trip.

    Andrea Austin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What time is bedtime??? Is she suppose to go to bed when the kids do? Tuck them in? Or Sneak in super late at night not to wake them up? Get woken up at 530am when kids get up on vacation?? Take care of them because that’s what a good Aunt does? Absolutely NTA, do not go

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cancel now girlfriend! Sounds like a potential vacation from hell to me and also unfair. I got talked into trips with my in-laws where we shared rooms and it was terrible for me. Apparently not for anyone else though. And besides, your brother is trying to bully and manipulate you - sounds like gaslighting. Nice parents too - not sticking up for you. Probably think you are the easy going one so you’ll adjust better. My dad did that all that time and took my brat sister’s side because she would have tantrums. I was the calm one and apparently more forgiving.

    Kamis Dewey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (I’m divorced now but) My ex’s extended family would do big family trips in the summer and we would all get our own rooms. And a few of the siblings had kids - the families would stay together. Why the **** would my kids stay with an aunt or uncle instead of their parents?! They occasionally would bring significant others and disappear for half the trip, as they should! They’re not here to babysit my kids, SMH.

    Kevin Felton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA they wanted a babysitter so mommy and daddy can try for a son. It'd be one thing if they had been like "can you take your nieces out for ice cream while their mommy and I take a nap (wink wink nudge nudge)" but this is different. They just want to foist their kids on you (one of whom is barely out of diapers) every night. My advice: get a refund and find people your own age to vacation with. You're 23 you shouldn't be vacationing with your parents and you shouldn't have to shell out your own money to nanny a couple preschoolers.

    Ira Sobral
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids that age should stay with the parents. You can offer to have them over for one single night as a favor for your sibling so they can have a date night if you so choose and maybe suggest your parents offer up one night too, but thats more than generous babysitting duty for free on your holiday that youre paying for. And since it doesen't sound like they are going to be grateful for that, I'm not sure I would offer. If they asked really nicely for one night, then I probably would.

    Lee Sanyos
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is quite interesting; what this says to me is, this is not the first time the parents or the brother infringed. Families always assume 1 person's life is not as important, this is passive aggressiveness at its finest. It comes in forms of; you are single, you make more money, you are younger, I could go on. Cancel and let them be done with, that includes your parents as well. It sounds like they perpetuated this behavior early on and is continuing that. That is why I stopped Thanksgiving at my house. It was no longer one day with family, 16 people were staying for several days (got pissed when I said no to a week), never attempted to pick up after themselves and my one brother who lived 20 minutes away, snuck back in with his kids to spend the night. Really? Take some of these idiots to your house. So, we started going out of town on vacation for the holiday. Haha, problem solved because they got pissed when I said no to staying a week.

    Sulu Chewy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with her ... you don't want to sleep with YOUR OWN CHILDREN while on vacation .. I wonder why? If they "did not want them around" leave them with the other grand parents ... four and two years old ...night duties becomes hers so no rest ... you were not involved with the mixing of the cake ... if they did not that responsibility do not take them ... PARENTS are not entitled to a relaxing enjoyable holiday WITH children... your job is to ensure they have fun which includes sleep time.

    Koni Rose Royval
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are NOT the problem. Your family is. Cancel the ticket..... And plan a vacation that fits your life. You are NOT the unpaid live in help. Also...your brother has no idea what a narricist IS. TO STICK UP for ones self? Is not the definition of a narricist. All my best to you

    Taylor ßudd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pure fact they all blew up like that calling her names would be grounds for a punch up. I'd just cancel and go somewhere else and not say a word. Let them figure it out

    Jennifer Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Definitely cancel, because if they agree to let you have your own room, I guarantee you will still be stuck with the kids when you arrive. Your family will say "Oh we asked for the other beds to be removed and the hotel wouldn't let us move them."

    Lo Kristine
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crazy how you were hired as a travel babysitter without telling you…

    Happy Willson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a parent of three children, aged 7, 5, and 2, who have all slept through the night at very young ages and do not get up in the middle of the night (rarely), I would still absolutely not put them in somebody else’s room. What a ridiculous thing to do.

    Janel Carr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely NTA here. They're lucky she's not more like me. They'd walk in to find the kids duct taped to the wall the next morning. My entire extended family knows better than to even consider sticking me with any kid under the age of 12.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But if she knew what was going to go down, why did she bother to go in the first place and then be bothered about it when she gets there? I would NEVER go with my family somewhere where I know I'll be used. Even knowing my Brother's extremely bad temper, I would absolutely not care if he explodes, I will not be used. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a family that does not side with me when it comes to the spoiled Prince of my Brother :) it's horrible and very hurtful. You better stand your ground, from a hurt Sister to a hurt Sister I get you.

    Alice Wells
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could not stand that. Cancel get a ride back home and never yalk about k

    lonnie sanders
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would do it but with the understanding that I am a babysitter and will be charging 20 dollars an hour for that time. A contract must be signed in advance. I also expect to be paid a very expensive deposit before the trip. A refund of deposit will be given after the trip is over and I am paid for my time.

    Bridget Connors
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Years ago my sister, BIL, their two toddler boys, Mom & I all went on vacation together...in one hotel room. Then at the end of the vacay, when we got the total, my sis & BIL thought we would split the hotel tab 3 ways. I said nope, 4 adults, it's split 4 ways. They grumbled but did it . (I think mom paid them back the difference) Next time we all went on vacay together we got two separate rooms.

    Sherman Von Gee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When we were little, if there wasn't an extra room for the kids we would sleep in the living room of wherever we were staying. Usually on a pull out couch or air mattress. Like, if we traveled with my uncle who didn't have kids & there were 2 bedrooms. Parents got one. Uncle got the other. Brothers & I slept in the living room. I slept in my parents room a lot since I'm the youngest & I've always been a night owl who caused trouble! But once I got a bit older & didn't need to have someone looking out for me.. we all slept in the living room. Why do the kids even need a room? They're basically babies? If they need a room they should be with their parents. Especially the 2 year old.

    Jen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hotel rooms dont have living rooms. They booked 3 separate hotel rooms so the kids need to be with thier parents, there is no other option.

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    Kiryn Silverwing
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best explanation I can come up with is that they were trying to divide the people up most efficiently between three rooms, and five adults + two kids, the equation obviously leads to two adult couples and then one adult with two kids, rather than crowding two adults and two kids into one room and having a ton of extra space for only one person in another room. But being a mom myself, they should have definitely offered to have the kids sleep in the parents' room (where the kids would likely be whining to go to anyway)

    Jen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not efficent when each paid for thier own room. That would be like saying that the single person next to you in the hotel should take your kids because as a family of 4 paying the same amount for the same room you deserve more space.

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    Mike Soigne
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don’t single people speak up for themselves? "I AM NOT YOUR [F-WORD] -ING 'FREE CHILD CARE!'" I like my brother's children, but -> I

    Juliana Blewett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't care what age the kids are, if you're paying for your own room you don't have to share. Seriously, they should at the very least, have asked if you minded sharing your room. And they should have been gracious if you decline. Some people think that it's perfectly fine to foist their crotch goblins off on somebody else because "it's our vacation." Definitely not the a-hole.

    Houseof No
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you sure you weren't adopted? Sorry to hear you are experiencing this. Definitely NTA. Are sure these are adults and not six year olds? Good luck.

    Joe Micalizzi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course she is right to ask and get her how room. However at her young age in her early twenty's she's about to be estranged from her family. Maybe this has to be for her not to be taken for granted and used as a default babysitter.

    Shante Barnes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kids should be with they parents they the ones that decided to have kids and bring them along for one and second nobody should be mad because you didn't want to share a room the vacation didn't mean they had got a break I would still go and do my own thang I wouldn't of cared if they was mad we can meet at boarding time 🤷

    resisting the patriarchy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First it's her /your vacation also. Your family forgot that and expect you yo be discomforted for their comforts. Don't go. Cancel. Its rude how they are treating you and bullying you into going and living circumstance you don't want to. What's the point? To be a babysitter? If it's truly about family being together you should be honored for your needs and have a say to the sleeping arrangements. If those don't work . Don't go

    Diane Crofoot
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t believe how ridiculous & selfish the family is….I wouldn’t go just because of their rude & unkind attitude they have towards you. They are the ‘bullies’ in the wrong!

    Jennifer Pettigrew
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So because she's unmarried she automatically gets sent to the children's room because they think she's a child or is automatically labeled as free child care. Either way it's extremely sexist. If the situation were reversed I bet no one would think twice about letting the brother get his own room.

    Misty Souders
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    N T A. sweet heart you were going to be THE INTERTANMENT committee. PARENTS like THIS just GUALL me to no end. LET em talk smack their doing it be it BECAUSE they don't eNt to watch them. And MAD that YOUR STANDING YOUR ground. DONT give in. GOOD LUCK.

    karma rose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the children are such angels why don't grandma & grandpa or mom & dad want them in their room?

    Henry Shane
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At 4 and 2 nta, that age still requires mommy and daddy. I would cancel and drop them all, as my mom would force her way on pur Vacations just to watch the kids....so grandma tossing the kids to you disgusted me as much as their parents doing it. Nta.

    Debbie Jackola
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. I personally wouldn't see anything wrong with you taking then in ONE night for a fun little sleepover and grandparents another night so parents can get some sexy time, but to expect you to share a room the whole trip is ridiculous. Plus, they should have asked, not assumed this was ok.

    Eric Yoder
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like MAGA morons. Only if that means their version of America is great for them. Cancel and live your own life. It's YOUR life and money. NTA. They are

    Joe calbery
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It's tough to accept this as truth. That's far too ignorant of the OP's family. Then again, nobody said it was "based on actual events".

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course the kids should stay in their parents' room. They are the ones that decided to have children so they are the ones that should be inconvenienced with the children's presence in the room.

    kim morris
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL, the kids will be crying for mommy and daddy the whole time, who are these parents think they are fooling? Cancel! Go to Italy instead, Sister. Go and have a great time by yourself.

    Amused panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny how both the children's parents and grandparents think it should be absolutely fine for the kids to stay in the same room as OP but balk at having them in the same room as themselves. The family should have confirmed it was okay with OP first and then ensured they paid a share towards the room costs for OP since she would not be benefitting from a room on her own if she's agreed. At that age, in an unfamiliar place, and with the excitement of a holiday I doubt there would be much sleep got.

    Alexa Saltz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Babysitters get paid, they don't pay to babysit. A 2 year old and 4 year old? Won't be any problem? Hah! Those girls belong in their parent's room. Your parents are jerks. Your brother is the narcissist. Cash in your ticket and go somewhere else without the family drama.

    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s a hill I would die on. If I pay my own money for a trip I get my own room period. If I bring my daughter along then I wouldn’t expect to burden her with someone else, she’d sleep in my room. NTA, and I don’t blame her for wanting to cancel.

    EA Clark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever we traveled, I always took a babysitter (firm contract on what was expected and pay she would receive) contract was signed by both of us and notarized. Seems excessive, but then both sides are protected.

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    BonnyDK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This smacks of the single relative being made to sit at the kids table for holidays. They are using her to watch the kids. After all she doesn't have a partner to enjoy the trip with. Maybe she should dig one up and just let everyone know he will be staying in her room. Wouldn't want kids to see that now would we???

    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The couples just wanted some vacation sexy time. Good for them…then they need to pay someone to watch the little kids. Not dump them on the single adult who paid their own money to be there. Go treat yourself, honey!!

    elsieairhead
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I recently flat out refused to have my young nephew sitting with me at a wedding. My siblings (who both have children) were there. There was no reason he couldn't sit with his siblings/cousins. We are child-free, he misbehaved, and I felt no guilt at all enjoying my meal and the venue, child-free. Not a free babysitter. NTA.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Shitty parents and grandparents alert. OP just oughta say "Nope, not going! Plans changed. Buh-bye!" and leave those imbeciles to deal with their own offspring.

    Matt Rustebakke
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imbecils is exactly the right word. I would disown family if they pulled s**t like that then call names when i say i dont agree to those terms.

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    deanna woods
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know why people have kids if they are not interested in taking care of them. When my family and I went to Albuquerque last summer, my sister, aunt, and I shared a room, while my little brother and his friend stayed with our parents. It went fine for everyone and everyone had a great time. People need to stop seeing single people with no children as babysitters and see as people.

    Misty Moon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How'd you like Albu-crazy? 😂 Lol, that's where I'm originally from!

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    Seedy Vine
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents: I never knew true selflessness until I had children. Also parents: Why won't anybody babysit my children for free?

    Kiwi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went on a vacation with my sister's family including my mom. Sister's family consisted of two teen boys, a ten year old boy and a 3 year old boy. We had adjoining units and my mom and I shared one and agreed to take the ten year old boy in with us. The two teen boys had their own room. First night the 10 year old gets sick and sister and all the rest disappear into the resort, leaving my mom and I to care for him. The next night they decide to do send out for pizza and strip our room of all the chairs so that they all have room to sit. Mom and I are not in invited. On check out day I planned to take my mom out for a special breakfast and again they all disappeared leaving us with the 10 year old who was now having a tantrum. By this time so was I. My advice - cancel. Do it now. This story happened more than 20 years ago. It still makes me mad.

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How awful for you. But do try to let it go now - forgive but not forget. Forgiveness is for you and your blood pressure. Speaking as someone who has had to deal with in-laws from hell for many years and has gotten dizzy spells just from ruminating about how their antics have affected me negatively. Yoga helps a lot…

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    Mbfsc63
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cancel cancel cancel........On what planet would the assumption a 23 year old would be OK sharing a room with her young niece and nephew???? ESPECIALLY when the parents are in attendance! This is strictly about the parents wanting free babysitting. OP, pay the cancellation fee and draw a line under the whole debacle.

    Linda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a 4 and an 8 year old and my sister has no kids because that's her life choice. If we went away somewhere I would never expect her to share a room with my kids. This couple are being ridiculous to expect this of her.

    Jael Riley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something similar happened to me. Despite being furious, I made the best of it and entertained the kids, female twins age 5. We stayed up all night watching horror movies and telling terrifying tales and legends about where we were staying (mackinaw island). We ate cupcakes, candy, ice cream, chips, pizza, and washed it all down with buckets of coke and mountain dew. We also played makeover, using my semi-permanent hair chalks in hot pink, purple, green and blue, plus my super waterproof, skin tinting eyeliner. Henna tats were also on the agenda. My nieces had an absolutely fantastic time and I became the cool aunt overnight. After a really long day with the two exhausted, scared of their own shadow, neon raccoons with full henna sleeves, I was prepping for a fun night of ghost hunting and fudge sampling when I was told the twins were staying with their parents for the duration. You're welcome.

    Margaret Beier
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jael Riley That was GREAT !!!! Can't stop laughing!!

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    Sonnovab Kegeles
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Telling a a 23 year old woman that she's an a*****e and to "grow up" is not the best way to get her to do you a favor. Putz

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess the bullying technique of manipulation was the one he flavoured over being sugary sweet.

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    alwaysMispelled
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, they were for sure hoping for "auntie" to be "babysitter" on this vacation. Nope, nope, nope!

    Vix Spiderthrust
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Abandon ship and let your arseholey brother watch his own damn offspring.

    Stephanie Ventura-Montalvo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They expect her to pay to babysit kids? That's not how that's done. Sharing a room with kids that little, is babysitting, and of they want a sitter, they can pay for said sitter's stay as well as at least $15 an hour.

    James Anders
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprise! It's obvious you were invited to be the built in baby sitter. I bet they all agreed on that because you are young and single. I personally would not go. They are gaslighting your feelings calling you a narcissist when in fact they are. Cancel ticket and go somewhere fun where you are not the FREE BABY SITTER

    J Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My family has done almost this exact scenario except I was the parent. My single sister got her own room and my young kids stayed in my room. Would never even cross my mind to expect my sister to do that. If I did want to put my kids with her, I would offer to pay for her room in exchange. What a bunch of jerks.

    De Nilla
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems to me that the whole family still thinks of her as one of the kids, even at 23. The fact that they didn't mention it to her and now are trying to guilt her is a sign of a larger issue. I'd space myself and live my own life until they realize she's an adult. They're obviously still excluding her from the adult conversations if everyone was on the same page except her

    m.w.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, OP's parents say it is not a big deal? And the 2 and 4 y.o. will not disturb any one? I see they've just volunteered!

    aubergine10003
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate SOOOO hard to this. I have many examples, but the best one is: when I used to go visit some relatives in Newport RI with my boyfriend, we got our own room. After we broke up, they started putting me on an air mattress in the "kids room" with my young nephew and his cousins (it was kind of a big space with a divider made of a bookshelf, but still the same room). it took me several years to realize how absolutely insulting this was. Haven't gone in a few years thanks to the pandemic, but next time this happens, I'll be staying at a nearby Airbnb.

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! My husband and I used to get sent down to the basement on an air mattress at Christmas visiting his relatives and the kids would come down and play video games when we weren’t up yet. I’d hate to think my bare butt was hanging out of my nightie and blankets from all the tossing and turning on one of those uncomfortable things. After a couple years of that, I finally booked a hotel.

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    Beck
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they want the kids too stay in her room then they need to be paying for 2/3 of the room if not the whole thing! I will be damned if I pay for my own room then have to SHARE AND BABYSIT TODDLERS ON THE VACATION I PAID MY OWN WAY FOR.

    Got Myself 4 Pandas
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest two are 8 and 5 and I'd still have them sleep in my room - no way would I expect my younger sister to have to sleep with them

    Will Cable
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It feels like she is being used as a baby sitter hence being in the same room with them.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is 100% leading to OP being forced to care for the kids while the others get to enjoy an actual vacation kid-free. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the only reason OP got invited. Vacation or not, my kids stay in my room with me. Little kids (ages 1 to 5) get scared easily by new surroundings and need to be near mom and dad. I would cancel my ticket and plan a vacation by myself, if I was in OP's situation.

    Louise Platiel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Room assignments not withstanding, a vacation with a family that lacks respect, ignores boundaries, and gaslights you when you try to be firm will NOT be much of a vacation. Go away with some people who treat you better. Vks are too expensive to waste.

    Marty Sunderland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially since they didn't ask first, the kids belong with their parents or grandparents.Even if those kids are perfect, they aren't OP's responsibility.

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They say vacation, I say free baby sitter

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have too many people for a three bedroom. LW is paying for her trip and should cancel if the accommodations don’t work for her.

    bob van wijk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they and the grandparents have to have their own room, cause they have to have sex, they should take 4 rooms.

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    James Anders
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SURPRISE! YOUR FREE BABYSITTING. You are being bamboozled and gaslit by your family. Don't go. Let your parents get sick of having kids hoisted on them the whole trip. Skip this drama. You would be forced to watch the kids day/night. Or be told go to bed when kids do as to not wake them. Try to take a shower at 1030pm, with sleeping kids. They will be up wondering around or crying for parents. You'll be stuck soothing them while parents blissfully sleep. Your parents and brother are narcissistic. Go have fun doing something you love. Sans kids.

    Joyce Monty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids are the PARENTS responsibility, not the aunts. I'd bail on the whole trip and let brother, SIL and the grandparents fight it out .

    Craftaholic Anonymous
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously this is your family and as comfortable as they were to make arrangements for you you should feel just as comfortable to say I am sorry but I am not OK with sharing a room and if that isn't understood you are not a jerk and just cancel.

    Cory Tollman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's multiple reasons for her to cancel. First the assumption that she'd be okay sharing a room with two young children. Second, the comments she got from her brother after she said she didn't want to share a room with two young children. Even if he backed off on the first part the statement afterwards would be enough for me not to go on this vacation.

    John G
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Third - you know they are expecting her to be full-time babysitter on the trip.

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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife's bff travels with us pretty regularly. She came with us recently on a monthlong trip to England and France. There were a few places where she shared a room with our 15 year old daughter (separate beds) and some where they had their own rooms. When our daughter was younger, we would share our room with her and would never have expected the bff to babysit or be responsible for her. And to expect her to sleep with two toddlers... definitely expected her to be the nanny on her own dime...

    Pamela Blue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd lik to know what the result of this situation was. Did she go? Did she cancel? What?

    Skylar Jaxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to cancel once when they thought my sis and fiance should get a separate room while me and my HUSBAND share with their kids. Because im one year younger than my sis I was like wtf no ma'am cancel our spot.

    CL Rowan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come down with a case of Covid the day before the trip. After they leave, plan your own vacation that you'll ACTUALLY enjoy.

    CL Rowan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kids can sleep in the living room of the suite the family rented. Aunt is NOT THE FRICKING NANNY! Brother & his woman can focus on caring for their kids and not trying to make another one who they'll shove off onto relatives. *OR* you can have the kids in your room and BILL THEM $30 an HR ($10 EACH with 50% after hours rate((staying in your room overnight)), PLUS $100 additional fee for the miserably short notice) for watching the kids . Notify them that the parents will be woken EVERY TIME the little darlings want something to care for them! THEN DO IT. Bill them and SUE if they don't pay.

    Jen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It doesnt sound like they got a suite, just 3 separate regular hotel rooms (since it was a group discount and OP can cancel just her room). The parents wouldnt even be available or easy to get to if the kids were with OP. Its better for her just to cancel and book her own trip elsewhere at that time (and not tell them where).

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    Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They need to stay with either their parents or grandparents. Or better yet why can't the SIL's parents watch the kids so they can have an actual vacation. Very hard to have a decent vaca with kids that age.

    Koni Rose Royval
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never once left the kids behind. I have not once regretted the choice. Kids grow up so fast and I have had years without them. I would never tell anyone to babysit my children.

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    Gabriel Gawrada
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Such a tricky age, you are growing up still and standing your ground. Sad your family doesn’t get that. Their verbal badgering is abusive and disrespectful in the extreme. Why on earth would they expect you to share a room you have paid for? NTA.

    Bea T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time I would make my sibling share with my kids is if I paid for the trip.

    Andrea Austin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What time is bedtime??? Is she suppose to go to bed when the kids do? Tuck them in? Or Sneak in super late at night not to wake them up? Get woken up at 530am when kids get up on vacation?? Take care of them because that’s what a good Aunt does? Absolutely NTA, do not go

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cancel now girlfriend! Sounds like a potential vacation from hell to me and also unfair. I got talked into trips with my in-laws where we shared rooms and it was terrible for me. Apparently not for anyone else though. And besides, your brother is trying to bully and manipulate you - sounds like gaslighting. Nice parents too - not sticking up for you. Probably think you are the easy going one so you’ll adjust better. My dad did that all that time and took my brat sister’s side because she would have tantrums. I was the calm one and apparently more forgiving.

    Kamis Dewey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (I’m divorced now but) My ex’s extended family would do big family trips in the summer and we would all get our own rooms. And a few of the siblings had kids - the families would stay together. Why the **** would my kids stay with an aunt or uncle instead of their parents?! They occasionally would bring significant others and disappear for half the trip, as they should! They’re not here to babysit my kids, SMH.

    Kevin Felton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA they wanted a babysitter so mommy and daddy can try for a son. It'd be one thing if they had been like "can you take your nieces out for ice cream while their mommy and I take a nap (wink wink nudge nudge)" but this is different. They just want to foist their kids on you (one of whom is barely out of diapers) every night. My advice: get a refund and find people your own age to vacation with. You're 23 you shouldn't be vacationing with your parents and you shouldn't have to shell out your own money to nanny a couple preschoolers.

    Ira Sobral
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids that age should stay with the parents. You can offer to have them over for one single night as a favor for your sibling so they can have a date night if you so choose and maybe suggest your parents offer up one night too, but thats more than generous babysitting duty for free on your holiday that youre paying for. And since it doesen't sound like they are going to be grateful for that, I'm not sure I would offer. If they asked really nicely for one night, then I probably would.

    Lee Sanyos
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is quite interesting; what this says to me is, this is not the first time the parents or the brother infringed. Families always assume 1 person's life is not as important, this is passive aggressiveness at its finest. It comes in forms of; you are single, you make more money, you are younger, I could go on. Cancel and let them be done with, that includes your parents as well. It sounds like they perpetuated this behavior early on and is continuing that. That is why I stopped Thanksgiving at my house. It was no longer one day with family, 16 people were staying for several days (got pissed when I said no to a week), never attempted to pick up after themselves and my one brother who lived 20 minutes away, snuck back in with his kids to spend the night. Really? Take some of these idiots to your house. So, we started going out of town on vacation for the holiday. Haha, problem solved because they got pissed when I said no to staying a week.

    Sulu Chewy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with her ... you don't want to sleep with YOUR OWN CHILDREN while on vacation .. I wonder why? If they "did not want them around" leave them with the other grand parents ... four and two years old ...night duties becomes hers so no rest ... you were not involved with the mixing of the cake ... if they did not that responsibility do not take them ... PARENTS are not entitled to a relaxing enjoyable holiday WITH children... your job is to ensure they have fun which includes sleep time.

    Koni Rose Royval
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are NOT the problem. Your family is. Cancel the ticket..... And plan a vacation that fits your life. You are NOT the unpaid live in help. Also...your brother has no idea what a narricist IS. TO STICK UP for ones self? Is not the definition of a narricist. All my best to you

    Taylor ßudd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pure fact they all blew up like that calling her names would be grounds for a punch up. I'd just cancel and go somewhere else and not say a word. Let them figure it out

    Jennifer Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Definitely cancel, because if they agree to let you have your own room, I guarantee you will still be stuck with the kids when you arrive. Your family will say "Oh we asked for the other beds to be removed and the hotel wouldn't let us move them."

    Lo Kristine
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crazy how you were hired as a travel babysitter without telling you…

    Happy Willson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a parent of three children, aged 7, 5, and 2, who have all slept through the night at very young ages and do not get up in the middle of the night (rarely), I would still absolutely not put them in somebody else’s room. What a ridiculous thing to do.

    Janel Carr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely NTA here. They're lucky she's not more like me. They'd walk in to find the kids duct taped to the wall the next morning. My entire extended family knows better than to even consider sticking me with any kid under the age of 12.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But if she knew what was going to go down, why did she bother to go in the first place and then be bothered about it when she gets there? I would NEVER go with my family somewhere where I know I'll be used. Even knowing my Brother's extremely bad temper, I would absolutely not care if he explodes, I will not be used. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a family that does not side with me when it comes to the spoiled Prince of my Brother :) it's horrible and very hurtful. You better stand your ground, from a hurt Sister to a hurt Sister I get you.

    Alice Wells
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could not stand that. Cancel get a ride back home and never yalk about k

    lonnie sanders
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would do it but with the understanding that I am a babysitter and will be charging 20 dollars an hour for that time. A contract must be signed in advance. I also expect to be paid a very expensive deposit before the trip. A refund of deposit will be given after the trip is over and I am paid for my time.

    Bridget Connors
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Years ago my sister, BIL, their two toddler boys, Mom & I all went on vacation together...in one hotel room. Then at the end of the vacay, when we got the total, my sis & BIL thought we would split the hotel tab 3 ways. I said nope, 4 adults, it's split 4 ways. They grumbled but did it . (I think mom paid them back the difference) Next time we all went on vacay together we got two separate rooms.

    Sherman Von Gee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When we were little, if there wasn't an extra room for the kids we would sleep in the living room of wherever we were staying. Usually on a pull out couch or air mattress. Like, if we traveled with my uncle who didn't have kids & there were 2 bedrooms. Parents got one. Uncle got the other. Brothers & I slept in the living room. I slept in my parents room a lot since I'm the youngest & I've always been a night owl who caused trouble! But once I got a bit older & didn't need to have someone looking out for me.. we all slept in the living room. Why do the kids even need a room? They're basically babies? If they need a room they should be with their parents. Especially the 2 year old.

    Jen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hotel rooms dont have living rooms. They booked 3 separate hotel rooms so the kids need to be with thier parents, there is no other option.

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    Kiryn Silverwing
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best explanation I can come up with is that they were trying to divide the people up most efficiently between three rooms, and five adults + two kids, the equation obviously leads to two adult couples and then one adult with two kids, rather than crowding two adults and two kids into one room and having a ton of extra space for only one person in another room. But being a mom myself, they should have definitely offered to have the kids sleep in the parents' room (where the kids would likely be whining to go to anyway)

    Jen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not efficent when each paid for thier own room. That would be like saying that the single person next to you in the hotel should take your kids because as a family of 4 paying the same amount for the same room you deserve more space.

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    Mike Soigne
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don’t single people speak up for themselves? "I AM NOT YOUR [F-WORD] -ING 'FREE CHILD CARE!'" I like my brother's children, but -> I

    Juliana Blewett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't care what age the kids are, if you're paying for your own room you don't have to share. Seriously, they should at the very least, have asked if you minded sharing your room. And they should have been gracious if you decline. Some people think that it's perfectly fine to foist their crotch goblins off on somebody else because "it's our vacation." Definitely not the a-hole.

    Houseof No
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you sure you weren't adopted? Sorry to hear you are experiencing this. Definitely NTA. Are sure these are adults and not six year olds? Good luck.

    Joe Micalizzi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course she is right to ask and get her how room. However at her young age in her early twenty's she's about to be estranged from her family. Maybe this has to be for her not to be taken for granted and used as a default babysitter.

    Shante Barnes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kids should be with they parents they the ones that decided to have kids and bring them along for one and second nobody should be mad because you didn't want to share a room the vacation didn't mean they had got a break I would still go and do my own thang I wouldn't of cared if they was mad we can meet at boarding time 🤷

    resisting the patriarchy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First it's her /your vacation also. Your family forgot that and expect you yo be discomforted for their comforts. Don't go. Cancel. Its rude how they are treating you and bullying you into going and living circumstance you don't want to. What's the point? To be a babysitter? If it's truly about family being together you should be honored for your needs and have a say to the sleeping arrangements. If those don't work . Don't go

    Diane Crofoot
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t believe how ridiculous & selfish the family is….I wouldn’t go just because of their rude & unkind attitude they have towards you. They are the ‘bullies’ in the wrong!

    Jennifer Pettigrew
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So because she's unmarried she automatically gets sent to the children's room because they think she's a child or is automatically labeled as free child care. Either way it's extremely sexist. If the situation were reversed I bet no one would think twice about letting the brother get his own room.

    Misty Souders
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    N T A. sweet heart you were going to be THE INTERTANMENT committee. PARENTS like THIS just GUALL me to no end. LET em talk smack their doing it be it BECAUSE they don't eNt to watch them. And MAD that YOUR STANDING YOUR ground. DONT give in. GOOD LUCK.

    karma rose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the children are such angels why don't grandma & grandpa or mom & dad want them in their room?

    Henry Shane
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At 4 and 2 nta, that age still requires mommy and daddy. I would cancel and drop them all, as my mom would force her way on pur Vacations just to watch the kids....so grandma tossing the kids to you disgusted me as much as their parents doing it. Nta.

    Debbie Jackola
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. I personally wouldn't see anything wrong with you taking then in ONE night for a fun little sleepover and grandparents another night so parents can get some sexy time, but to expect you to share a room the whole trip is ridiculous. Plus, they should have asked, not assumed this was ok.

    Eric Yoder
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like MAGA morons. Only if that means their version of America is great for them. Cancel and live your own life. It's YOUR life and money. NTA. They are

    Joe calbery
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It's tough to accept this as truth. That's far too ignorant of the OP's family. Then again, nobody said it was "based on actual events".

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