Guy Discovers His Niece On His Doorstep After Clearly Refusing To Babysit Her
Interview
Some people like to babysit and they will be the happiest people if they hear that somebody needs their babysitting service. On the other side, there are people who can’t stand to be in the same room with babies. It doesn’t matter if they are family members, friends’ kids or strangers, you will not force them to look after them even for an hour.
However, family members are supposed to help and be there for you no matter what, right? Well, not always – sometimes family members can be the ones who will threaten to call the police on you.
More info: Reddit
Forcing others to help you will just make your relationship worse and for sure will not encourage them to help you in the future
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
Man wonders if he was being a jerk for threatening to call the police on his brother after he left his daughter on the doorstep for the man to babysit
Image credits: u/Money_Improvement274
Image credits: Ben Mack (not the actual photo)
His brother asked to him babysit his daughter, but the man refused as he is not experienced and also doesn’t want to
Image credits: u/Money_Improvement274
Image credits: Rene Ranisch (not the actual photo)
His brother ended up dropping his daughter at the man’s place, but he replied that if he did not pick her up in 15 minutes, he would call the police
Image credits: u/Money_Improvement274
20 minutes later he came back, the brothers had a big fight and the author ended up being called a jerk
A few days ago, a Reddit user shared his story to one of the most judgmental communities wondering if he was being a jerk for threatening to call the police on his brother for forcing him to babysit. The post went viral and in just 7 days, it had 9.2K upvotes and 3.8K comments.
The author starts with the introduction that his brother has a 4-year-old daughter, her mom passed away during birth and since then, he has been raising the girl on his own. One day he wanted to go on a date and asked the OP to babysit his kid, but he refused. Even though his brother kept saying that he didn’t have money for a babysitter, it still didn’t change the author’s mind regarding this request.
Now, one day in the evening, somebody knocked on the OP’s door and turned out it was his niece. Yep, all alone, without any warning; she was just standing at his doorstep. The author then left his brother a message saying that if he did not pick up his child within 15 minutes, OP would call the police for child abandonment.
Luckily, his brother came back 20 minutes later and the police weren’t contacted yet. Well, understandably, everybody was furious, with the brother saying to the OP that he failed as a brother and uncle and he doesn’t care for his niece. The author kept repeating that that’s not his problem and his brother needs to figure out his life, not pin it on him.
The author got the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge from the community members online. However, in the comments, there were discussions that even though OP doesn’t need to do it, it would have been nice. “The brother was irresponsible just dropping his kid off like that but I don’t understand why the OP is being so cold. You don’t feel for your brother or your niece?” one user wrote.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda contacted Samantha, who is a parental blogger and founder of Walking Outside in Slippers. She kindly agreed to share her insights regarding the importance of extended family to a kid’s well-being and how conflicts in the family can affect them.
“I can only speak from my own experience with extended family and raising my children. My immediate family lives several hours away from both my husband and my family, but we still rely heavily on our families for moral support and help,” Samantha shares.
“I think children often thrive most with lots of family support. When we have family visiting, my husband and I will sometimes try to sneak away for a dinner date while our parents watch the kids,” blogger shared. “That said, I don’t believe there should be any expectation of family watching our kids. It is nice when family members step up to help, but not everyone is willing or able.”
Speaking about conflicts between family members and its impact on kids, Samantha says that children are very receptive. “They hear curse words when we try to whisper them, and notice tension in the household. Conflict between family members undoubtedly affects them. But being honest about issues at an age-appropriate level might be helpful in kids’ understanding of why there is tension, and that it’s not their fault. Also, common sense is to avoid fighting in front of the kids.”
And finally, Samantha, as a mom, says that “I personally try to always show my children they are loved, even and maybe especially in times of difficult family dynamics. Children crave routine and safety. I make sure mine always have that.”
In conclusion, supportive family members always ready to lend a helping hand are an extremely valuable resource both for parents and their children. However, no parent should expect, much less force a close one to to help them with kids, especially when said relative has clearly communicated that they have no interest in doing so.
And of course, don’t forget to check out Walking Outside in Slippers!
Folks in the comments had different opinions – a few said that he was not being a jerk, but others said that he could have handled the situation better
The bottom line here is that the brother prioritized getting laid over his child. He left his 4-year-old daughter on a doorstep after being told no, of someone who has no experience with children, who may not have been home or may not have been capable of looking after said child. What if the OP had plans themselves, what if they hadn't heard her knocking? 4-year-olds don't have the best judgment, what if she'd wandered off, got lost or got hit by a car, what if someone came along and grabbed her, since her dad was nowhere to be seen by the time the OP opened the door? It was a massively irresponsible move on the brother's part. Whether or not the OP looked after their niece is their decision. Also, not the greatest lesson for the brother to be teaching their child about consent.
And 4 year old often need help using the bathroom. Not everyone is comfortable doing that, especially someone who has, as OP said, no experience with kids. Makes me think he has no idea how to properly clean a little girl, which could lead to a urinary tract infection.
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I'm in the same situation. My sister and brother in law are angry with me for not driving my nephew to horse riding when Bil was unable to due to surgery. I did it once so they had the time to make other arrangements because it would be for the coming months. However my volunteer job is on Wednesday and I'd have to either give that up or switch days to drive my nephew. I already take care of our mom who lives with me, drive her to her many appointments and so on. I've never asked my sister or Bil to help with that because I understand their son comes first. However they feel that I should put my nephew fiets and they say volunteer work isn't real work. And they now refuse all contact. I've helped them for weeks when my Bil had his surgery, was there every day. But apparently people here think siblings are co-parents? We're not
I am very confused with quite a few of the AITA posts/responses. A lot of times the answers seem to answer the question"am I legally right" or "is it my job?" Of course helping out family is not your job, of course you are legally right to call police, of course you may always decline to help someone in need, doesn't mean you're not an a*****e if you do though. One can be in the right and still be a major a*****e, these things are not exclusive. Edit to add: Not saying the dad was right in any way. But that also isn't the question. Just because the other person is wrong does not make you right.
The problem is second guessing their decision because others are calling them an AH. OP's brother just dropped off his kid without telling OP all so he could get a piece of àss, and got mad that OP was rightfully upset. Family helps family, yes, but not when they don't have experience with kids.
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The bottom line here is that the brother prioritized getting laid over his child. He left his 4-year-old daughter on a doorstep after being told no, of someone who has no experience with children, who may not have been home or may not have been capable of looking after said child. What if the OP had plans themselves, what if they hadn't heard her knocking? 4-year-olds don't have the best judgment, what if she'd wandered off, got lost or got hit by a car, what if someone came along and grabbed her, since her dad was nowhere to be seen by the time the OP opened the door? It was a massively irresponsible move on the brother's part. Whether or not the OP looked after their niece is their decision. Also, not the greatest lesson for the brother to be teaching their child about consent.
And 4 year old often need help using the bathroom. Not everyone is comfortable doing that, especially someone who has, as OP said, no experience with kids. Makes me think he has no idea how to properly clean a little girl, which could lead to a urinary tract infection.
Load More Replies... I'm in the same situation. My sister and brother in law are angry with me for not driving my nephew to horse riding when Bil was unable to due to surgery. I did it once so they had the time to make other arrangements because it would be for the coming months. However my volunteer job is on Wednesday and I'd have to either give that up or switch days to drive my nephew. I already take care of our mom who lives with me, drive her to her many appointments and so on. I've never asked my sister or Bil to help with that because I understand their son comes first. However they feel that I should put my nephew fiets and they say volunteer work isn't real work. And they now refuse all contact. I've helped them for weeks when my Bil had his surgery, was there every day. But apparently people here think siblings are co-parents? We're not
I am very confused with quite a few of the AITA posts/responses. A lot of times the answers seem to answer the question"am I legally right" or "is it my job?" Of course helping out family is not your job, of course you are legally right to call police, of course you may always decline to help someone in need, doesn't mean you're not an a*****e if you do though. One can be in the right and still be a major a*****e, these things are not exclusive. Edit to add: Not saying the dad was right in any way. But that also isn't the question. Just because the other person is wrong does not make you right.
The problem is second guessing their decision because others are calling them an AH. OP's brother just dropped off his kid without telling OP all so he could get a piece of àss, and got mad that OP was rightfully upset. Family helps family, yes, but not when they don't have experience with kids.
Load More Replies...
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