Woman’s First Date Fail Story Sparked Discussion About Dating Manners
Most likely, you have been on some sort of date in your life. When it comes to first dates, the first impressions can play an important part in the further development of the connection and possible relationship. The day before Valentine’s Day last year, Alisha Rai, contemporary romance novelist, set out to meet a guy in a cafe for a coffee. The date didn’t go that well. In fact, it went quite downhill and it was all to do with cake pops—something that seems to be a not-so-significant detail.
The quite amusing story and lighthearted tweet shared by Alisha went viral, leading to even greater debates about dating, its etiquette, and even questions around women’s posts online and how they are received.
More info: Twitter
After going on a first date with a guy to a cafe, Alisha decided to share what happened on her Twitter account
Image credits: alisharaiwrites
The viral Tweet explained the situation of Alisha meeting a man for a coffee, him asking her what she would like to drink, and bringing over the order. He also came back with two cake pops, which Alisha thought was quite cute. But what happened next was that the guy ate them both in front of her. Alisha finished the tweet with what she possibly wanted to be a comic rhetorical question, about the guy being a monster.
As her date went to get the coffee, he also came back with two Valentine’s Day-themed cake pops, which he then ate by himself in front of her without even offering
Image credits: Unknown (not the actual photo)
Little did she know how much attention the post would rake in. It got 339.2k likes and was retweeted over 24k times. The avalanche of comments following the infamous tweet was even more astounding, bringing everything from support and sympathy to insults and threats and overall starting an international discussion about dating etiquette.
The tweet explaining the incident and Alisha’s disappointment during the first date went viral with nearly 340k likes
Image credits: AlishaRai
Image credits: AlishaRai
The post spread through different media outlets, making appearances on TV. Alisha soon realized that the discussion had escalated so much that the cake pops had become an analogy for kindness and courtesy. As for Alisha, comments from online communities ranged from her being too sensitive, to calling her a gold digger and even pointing her out as the reason why modern dating is so hard.
Alisha couldn’t believe what happened and how the guy made her feel with his behavior on the first date
Image credits: AlishaRai
Image credits: AlishaRai
The online debates were quite fierce about whether or not the guy’s behavior was a red flag. Many people found the incident funny and relatable, so they shared similar stories, some agreed that this wasn’t the most thoughtful behavior from the guy on a first date, and some people actually considered Alisha’s expectations too high. On Hoda & Jenna’s show on Today, the tweet was also discussed where the two ladies highlighted how it’s rude not to offer what you are eating and share with the other person.
Alisha’s tweet made it to Today’s show hosted by Hoda & Jenna, where the ladies agreed that not sharing is a definite ‘don’t’
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Following the debates her tweet sparked about dating etiquette, Alisha also expressed her thoughts about the negative feedback she started to receive
Image credits: AlishaRai
Also coincidentally, the story echoed Alisha’s new book Girl Gone Viral, which tells a story about a woman whose private conversation with a stranger goes online and she is forced to hide. Just what Alisha wasn’t ready for was the hate she received. She also tweeted regarding the angry feedback she received: “Truly, there is nothing a woman can go viral for that will not result in an avalanche of misogyny, not even a facetious tweet. About dessert etiquette.”
Image credits: AlishaRai
What was quite shocking followed later when Alisha started receiving various negative messages, degrading comments, and even threats. She was called ugly, fat, a slut, and a whore and even told to kill herself. Being a writer and having quite an active online presence, leaving social media wasn’t an option for her. Temporarily locking her media accounts still had her feeling quite uncomfortable, but what started as an innocent post for readers triggered irrationally angry people. So the sharing of the post turned into not only into debates about dating etiquette, but also what it means to post online and face the commentators.
And here is how some other internet users reacted to Alisha’s post and you can share your opinion below
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Am I the only person who would feel awkward buying 2 Valentine's cake pops on a date and eating them both...if you are on a date and someone buys 2 heart cake pops who wouldn't assume that the second is for the date...I bet even the barista was like wtf?
EXACTLY. If you weren't going to offer one to her you should have bought only one, duh.
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This is not about him being a man and her being a woman. It's not even about it being a date. If a friend offered to buy you coffee, but then came back with food too and ate it in front of you, it's awkward.
Yeah....if you have enough to share social etiquette would have you at least offer to share.
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This needs a bit more context: Did he only ask what she wanted to drink and decided that the cake pops looked good and brought them back and did then not share = Not the way to do it! Did he ask her what she wanted to drink AND eat and she just wanted a drink = her fault but still not good style by him, especially it being TWO when there aer TWO persons. Either way I think it doesn't matter what gender they are, it would have been bad style the other way around, too.
Very true! He may have asked if she wanted food and she may have said no...and then she saw that lovely cake pop he was eating and realized he had two.
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Am I the only person who would feel awkward buying 2 Valentine's cake pops on a date and eating them both...if you are on a date and someone buys 2 heart cake pops who wouldn't assume that the second is for the date...I bet even the barista was like wtf?
EXACTLY. If you weren't going to offer one to her you should have bought only one, duh.
Load More Replies... This is not about him being a man and her being a woman. It's not even about it being a date. If a friend offered to buy you coffee, but then came back with food too and ate it in front of you, it's awkward.
Yeah....if you have enough to share social etiquette would have you at least offer to share.
Load More Replies... This needs a bit more context: Did he only ask what she wanted to drink and decided that the cake pops looked good and brought them back and did then not share = Not the way to do it! Did he ask her what she wanted to drink AND eat and she just wanted a drink = her fault but still not good style by him, especially it being TWO when there aer TWO persons. Either way I think it doesn't matter what gender they are, it would have been bad style the other way around, too.
Very true! He may have asked if she wanted food and she may have said no...and then she saw that lovely cake pop he was eating and realized he had two.
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