Bridezilla Hides Veteran’s Cane That Doesn’t Fit Her Wedding Aesthetic, Regrets It Immediately
Interview
When it comes to their wedding day, most brides want everything to be perfect, but some seek that at the expense of their guests, which might come back to haunt them.
When this redditor, a disabled veteran, attended her bridezilla friend’s wedding, her walking stick “magically” disappeared and the bride-to-be told her to “make do” without it. So, that’s exactly what the redditor did; she maliciously complied and found a way to get herself down the aisle without her walking stick.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and she was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find her thoughts in the text below.
Some bridezillas put their desires over the comfort and
well-being of their guests
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
This disabled bridesmaid was asked to “do without” her walking stick when it disappeared at a bridezilla friend’s wedding
Image credits: EIGHTPRESSION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Restless_Dragon
Image credits: Raul_Mellado (not the actual photo)
The tension caused by wedding stress often seems to be contagious
The OP shared with Bored Panda that the thing that annoyed her the most was the sheer audacity of her friend, as even after the redditor offered to step down from being a bridesmaid, the bride-to-be insisted that she wouldn’t and was going to put her in a situation where her friend could have seriously injured herself.
“The other bridesmaids were absolutely flabbergasted that she told them that she was going to hide my cane; even though when they called her out on it she claimed to be joking,” the OP told Bored Panda. “They are actually the ones who warned me ahead of time.”
Bridezillas are called this way for a reason; they’re rarely ever pleasant to be around during stressful moments, and as happy an occasion as a wedding is, it can get quite stressful as well. Planning alone can be a major stressor, and bearing in mind that it all leads up to that one special day, it’s likely to become the epitome of it all.
Surveys have found that roughly 40% of the happy couples described their wedding planning as “very” or “extremely” stressful. Be that as it may, the absolute majority of them—96% to be exact—put guest safety and safety protocols among their top priorities. Unfortunately, the OP’s friend didn’t care much about her safety walking down the aisle; the aesthetics were more important than her bridesmaid’s well-being or comfort.
“I have seen many examples of rigid, unreal thinking during wedding planning, enormous, stressful preoccupation with technical details, driven activity, dread of judgment, criticism and dire consequences,” Clinical Assistant Professor Of Medical Psychology In Psychiatry, Brenda Berger Ph. D. wrote in Psychology Today, adding that the intensity of it all often seems contagious, filtering through the wedding couple and their families, the bridal party, and friends.
“Bridesmaids and maids of honor compete for the position of ‘the chosen best friend.’ Older and newer friends of the couple act chilly with one another even though bride and groom wish only for them to be the loving intact community to send them off into married life.”
Image credits: Alvin Mahmudov (not the actual photo)
People with a disability have to deal with ignorant or negative individuals quite often
Focusing on the aesthetics to the extent of disregarding her bridesmaid’s disability arguably makes the bride not only a bridezilla but a poor friend, too; if even a friend at all. Unfortunately, whether it’s friends or random acquaintances they involve, situations when people with disabilities have to deal with lack of awareness or care are not that uncommon.
To make matters worse, some disabled people have to deal with negative attitudes or prejudice, too. According to Scope’s Disability Perception Gap report, roughly one-in-three of disabled respondents believe that such negative attitudes or prejudice are quite prevalent.
The report pointed out that disabled people frequently encounter small acts of negative behavior, such as individuals letting the doors swing back on wheelchair users, ignoring disabled customers, or speaking to carers and other third parties rather than the disabled person directly. These, according to Scope, might not seem like severe wongoings on their own, however they tend to add up eventually creating certain barriers.
In the OP’s case, she found a way to counter the bridezilla’s negative behavior with malicious compliance, which she is proud of to this day; the hideous scooter did appear in more than 90% of the wedding photos, after all.
“The only contact I have ever had with the bride since the wedding was when she called me screaming that I ruined her wedding photos,” the redditor shared. “I did see her at a couple of events, within six months of the wedding, but we stayed away from each other and never spoke again.”
Fellow redditors shared their reactions in the comments, the OP replied to some of them
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I'm disabled, I use a wheelchair now, I used to use crutches, and anyone who takes away a disabled person's cane is an a*****e. I didn't even like people moving my crutches out of reach - in cafes, etc. I put up having them moved somewhere they wouldn't trip anyone over, to make life easier for everyone else, but it makes you feel extremely vulnerable. It means you can't get up, can't go to the loo, can't leave, etc without help.
Right now, my father is in a wheelchair and I would never look down on him for that. Weddings should be about love and not perfection. If you are so obsessed with having the perfect wedding, then you are getting married for the wrong reasons.
And I really can't understand why you would attend such an event
Load More Replies...
The wedding is all about the bride. All attention should be on her and how beautiful she looks. (Or, if there are two brides, they both look.) So, take away my cane when you know I can't walk more than 10 feet down and I'll get help to the end of the isle, walk ten feet and collapse in a heap of pain, making all the attention be on me and how much pain I'm in. Then I'll just scream, " How could you do this to me!" over and over, bringing the attention back to you as it should be.
Disability discrimination. Nothing else to say. I don't understand people who think that a fun celebration of any kind can be had if specific groups of people are excluded.
A celebration can be fun when excluding certain groups of people. Alas, it was not possible to exclude all the @ssholes from this party and one of them managed to get to the altar.
Load More Replies... It would have been so quick and easy to tape some wedding flowers under the handle. Why are some people so selfish.
Never f**k with the military. They are some of the most creative, determined and pettiest people I have ever met. And I love them for it. 😁
I'm reminded of a bride whose best friend used a wheelchair (I forget why, but it was permanent). Bride asked her best friend to be her maid of honor. Best Friend happily accepted. Next thing Bride knows, her mother is p*ssing and moaning about how she "can't" have Best Friend as her MOH "because her wheelchair will ruin the aesthetic of all the pictures!" Shocked the hell out of MOB when she was disinvited instead. Strangely enough (/s), nobody at the wedding cared that MOH was in a wheelchair, and nobody blamed Bride for disinviting her own mother.
WTF??? How can humans be so awful to each other?? I just don't get it. Did the bridezilla think the bridesmaid was just pretending to be disabled? How disgusting! Great revenge though.
I would have made sure everyone knew she hid it and what she said, call her out for the garbage she is...Also, outstanding job on the scooter..
Horrible, horrible person. I guarantee no one in attendance would even care about the cane. On the flip side, I hope the guests don't find the bride endearing because she chose a bridesmaid with a mobility scooter. Surely her whole life is about appearances. I truly hope the bride's life is hell from here on out.
I don't get having an aesthetic that doesn't allow for your friends wonderful uniqueness. In the case of the walking stick, if I were the bride, I would have told the bridesmaid we are shopping for a wedding stick that works great for you and matches the wedding theme. Even if it was custom painted by a professional it would be fairly cheap compared to the cost of the wedding. My friends are my friends no matter their looks. I'm a lousy friend if I won't accept them as they are blend all their wonderful visual differences into a harmonious beautiful whole for the celebration.
Yeah, you do not have a „bidezilla“ problem, but a generall one with entitlement, judging by all those stories of such people from over there.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If she matters enough to insists she's a bridesmaid, she matters enough to care for her comfort.
As an advocate of accessibility and also an artist, I would go crazy with this situation. I would be so excited to ask if I could work with the person using the walking stick, to decorate the stick but still keep it functional. I'd bedazzle the heck out of that stick and get the most realistic faux leaves and flowers!
I'm disabled, I use a wheelchair now, I used to use crutches, and anyone who takes away a disabled person's cane is an a*****e. I didn't even like people moving my crutches out of reach - in cafes, etc. I put up having them moved somewhere they wouldn't trip anyone over, to make life easier for everyone else, but it makes you feel extremely vulnerable. It means you can't get up, can't go to the loo, can't leave, etc without help.
Right now, my father is in a wheelchair and I would never look down on him for that. Weddings should be about love and not perfection. If you are so obsessed with having the perfect wedding, then you are getting married for the wrong reasons.
And I really can't understand why you would attend such an event
Load More Replies... The wedding is all about the bride. All attention should be on her and how beautiful she looks. (Or, if there are two brides, they both look.) So, take away my cane when you know I can't walk more than 10 feet down and I'll get help to the end of the isle, walk ten feet and collapse in a heap of pain, making all the attention be on me and how much pain I'm in. Then I'll just scream, " How could you do this to me!" over and over, bringing the attention back to you as it should be.
Disability discrimination. Nothing else to say. I don't understand people who think that a fun celebration of any kind can be had if specific groups of people are excluded.
A celebration can be fun when excluding certain groups of people. Alas, it was not possible to exclude all the @ssholes from this party and one of them managed to get to the altar.
Load More Replies... It would have been so quick and easy to tape some wedding flowers under the handle. Why are some people so selfish.
Never f**k with the military. They are some of the most creative, determined and pettiest people I have ever met. And I love them for it. 😁
I'm reminded of a bride whose best friend used a wheelchair (I forget why, but it was permanent). Bride asked her best friend to be her maid of honor. Best Friend happily accepted. Next thing Bride knows, her mother is p*ssing and moaning about how she "can't" have Best Friend as her MOH "because her wheelchair will ruin the aesthetic of all the pictures!" Shocked the hell out of MOB when she was disinvited instead. Strangely enough (/s), nobody at the wedding cared that MOH was in a wheelchair, and nobody blamed Bride for disinviting her own mother.
WTF??? How can humans be so awful to each other?? I just don't get it. Did the bridezilla think the bridesmaid was just pretending to be disabled? How disgusting! Great revenge though.
I would have made sure everyone knew she hid it and what she said, call her out for the garbage she is...Also, outstanding job on the scooter..
Horrible, horrible person. I guarantee no one in attendance would even care about the cane. On the flip side, I hope the guests don't find the bride endearing because she chose a bridesmaid with a mobility scooter. Surely her whole life is about appearances. I truly hope the bride's life is hell from here on out.
I don't get having an aesthetic that doesn't allow for your friends wonderful uniqueness. In the case of the walking stick, if I were the bride, I would have told the bridesmaid we are shopping for a wedding stick that works great for you and matches the wedding theme. Even if it was custom painted by a professional it would be fairly cheap compared to the cost of the wedding. My friends are my friends no matter their looks. I'm a lousy friend if I won't accept them as they are blend all their wonderful visual differences into a harmonious beautiful whole for the celebration.
Yeah, you do not have a „bidezilla“ problem, but a generall one with entitlement, judging by all those stories of such people from over there.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If she matters enough to insists she's a bridesmaid, she matters enough to care for her comfort.
As an advocate of accessibility and also an artist, I would go crazy with this situation. I would be so excited to ask if I could work with the person using the walking stick, to decorate the stick but still keep it functional. I'd bedazzle the heck out of that stick and get the most realistic faux leaves and flowers!
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