Maid Of Honor With A Scar On Her Face Asks If She’s Right To Skip The Wedding After Bride Bans Makeup Just For Her
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When you take on the responsibility of being in a wedding party, you can expect to agree to things you might not be thrilled about. Bridesmaids are often stuck wearing awful dresses, and funding bachelor and bachelorette parties can be a serious expense. But we go along with whatever the bride and groom ask for because we want their special day to be perfect, and their demands are usually harmless. Usually.
One maid of honor reached out to the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit to get some outside opinions on whether or not her best friend was being reasonable with her wedding requests. Below, you can read the story yourself, as well as some of the responses it received, and decide whether this bride had the right to make this demand or if she became a full-on bridezilla. Then if you’re looking for even more maid of honor content, we’ve got the perfect Bored Panda article for you to read next right here.
After being banned from wearing makeup at her best friend’s wedding, this maid of honor wondered if she should skip the affair altogether
Image credits: Oliver Li (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Chalo Garcia (not the actual photo)
The maid of honor explained that she is a professional makeup artist and typically wears makeup to cover a scar on her face
The bride, however, was more concerned about being the most beautiful person in the room
We’ve all heard of Bridezilla’s before. A particularly entitled bride whose demands go far beyond what’s reasonable. While the trope is probably uncommon in real life, it’s certainly been depicted in many shows and movies. Romantic comedies like Bride Wars and 27 Dresses feature fictionalized versions of bridezillas, demanding to control every tiny detail of their lavish ceremonies and becoming angry caricatures when anything goes wrong. There has even been a reality show titled Bridezillas running on WE since 2004, following real brides and exposing their immature and bratty behavior. Watching these sorts of shows and films makes the “bridezilla” archetype feel like a parody, but unfortunately, in cases like this particular maid of honor’s story, brides sometimes take it way too far.
The internet is full of articles with tips on how to deal with a bride who’s let the pressure go to her head. Women’s Health even has a list of “Signs You’ve Become a Bridezilla”. The first sign is when a bride snaps at others over tiny things that wouldn’t normally bother them. This can happen to anyone who is overwhelmed with stress, but a more appropriate reaction than going on a rampage is to take a deep breath and calmly collect yourself before interacting with others. Other signs you may need to dial it back are realizing that tiny details about the wedding are keeping you up at night (I promise the guests will not be as concerned about the color of their napkins as you are), becoming too dependent on your therapist or a glass of wine throughout the day, and finding yourself sending emails and making phone calls all through the night. Everyone needs rest and relaxation, even if they’re planning the most exciting day of their life.
Planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful, but it’s not an excuse to abandon all judgment and expect others to bend at your will. Brides are allowed to make a few crazy demands, but going out of their way to make their so-called best friend look bad is not acceptable. In this situation, it seems like the bride was a questionable friend long before she started planning a wedding. Let us know in the comments how you feel about this story and if the maid of honor is reasonable for wanting to skip the whole event. Have you ever dealt with a bridezilla? We’d love to hear those stories down below too!
The responses are in unanimous support of the maid of honor, with many saying the bride is not a real friend
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This isn't about make up. Your friend is incredibly toxic and you need to end that friendship ASAP. I have no idea why some girls behave like this in their friendships and get away with it. There's no way I'd allow someone to put me down all the time, especially in front of others. If you wouldn't allow a boyfriend toy treat you this way, you sure as hell shouldn't allow a friend to.
This is beyond toxic, it's abuse.
I grew up an only child with my single Father. I moved up to my mother's area after he died. My (6yrs older half on my mother's side) sister's husband's dog chewed up the right side of my face 10 years ago this August when I was at their house. I was there to babysit my then 20mo old niece. I ate only liquids through a straw for 6 months through 2 surgeries. NO ONE HAS EVER APOLOGIZED. EVER. Sister hasn't spoken to me because I won't forgive with absolution. Her husband NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT ME and HAS REFUSED. My mother has only said in 10 years, "Thank you for saving my granddaughter." But... THEY CALL ME THE AHOLE FOR WANTING AN APOLOGY!!
It sometimes sneaks up on you! I had a friendship that I one day realised was toxic. We used to have such a laugh but then when she realised men paid me the compliments, not her, she started to belittle me and criticised those who made the compliments. Conversations I started would be waved off as uninteresting suddenly - when before they hadn't been. As I'm not confident I just assumed I was annoying her. Then it gradually dawned that this person wasn't actually a friend and if I let the friendship die I was actually losing nothing - as it wasn't genuine or worth having. This woman is no friend. The OP offered to minimise her make up, make more of her friend's - she shouldn't have to do that but she has tried. Sad but sometimes you have to let a 'friend' go.
Just put on makeup and goto the wedding, if the bride says no and tells you to leave , then it's on her.
This
Unfortunately, people have to learn what's socially acceptable and "normal", and for some it takes longer than for others. I had the first "real" best friend when I was 14, all before that had ulterior motives like having their homework done, playing in our huge garden or just feeling like they were better at sth. (I was a late bloomer). My niece never made real friends in school (she made friends in her extracurricular activities) because her class mates were all superficial and bragged about sh*t like watching scary movies etc. If you don't know there's a problem, that's all you'll know, and you'll only notice once you get to know something else. It's like only noticing your boyfriend's an a*s when you meet someone who actually likes you.
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Yeah, dump that b*tch. When one of my best friends got married I was the MOH. I've been wearing black for over 20 years now, I am fat, and I am not a girly girl, so I am not comfortable in dresses. Guess what? My friend said I should just wear whatever I am comfortable in, even black, even though thst is considered bad luck. Her only request was that I don't wear white. THAT is what a friend is - or just a normal and reasonable human being.
On the day of my wedding, I thought my bridesmaids have never looked more beautiful. I was happy to let each of them shine, and didn't feel that anyone would be comparing them to me.
Alie, you're a true lady of class. You have humility, and that's a very rare high level of empathy and value of others.
That's exactly how it should be. Your friends and loved ones are there to celebrate you and trying to one up them is toxic. I have never understood bridezilla's. Nothing is ever perfect, especially weddings. There are so many things going on at the same time and people are human,so things don't go as planned. Rather than sitting around pouting because things aren't perfect laugh and think about those things fondly. They make for much better memories than a robotic and predictable stories.
This comment!! I specifically asked for my sisters hair to be similar to mine as I knew she’d try to dress down for my big day and wanted her to feel as good as I did. She was walking me down the aisle and I wanted her to look stunning too 🥰🥰
As long as none neither maids nor guests choose to wear white - or what ever colour the bride chooses to wear - it’s cool.
I wore a black chiffon cocktail dress my husband pulled off a sale rack at our otherwise large, formal 80s wedding. It was perfect. Go figure. He's been patting himself on the back for 35 years, lol.
Good job. Great team! Congatulations.
my best friend (a man) was married last year and I was his "best man" (I'm a woman). We've been friends for over 20 years and were a creative team for 10 years. He knows I'm not comfortable dressing up or even wearing shoes. When I asked him what I should wear he told me I should just wear whatever I wanted. I told him I was going to dress up in a T Rex costume and he said "go with it!" I compromised and wore dressy pink twill jeans and a dressy pink shirt but no shoes. He and his bride had zero issue with that
That is EXACTLY what I would say. I wouldn't even bring up makeup at all, if someone asked me I would say, just please come however you're the most comfortable.
When I got married a million years ago I had a MOH and he had a best man. No groomsmen nor bridesmaids. Our colors were black,white and teal green. I told my MOH I didn't care what she wore as long as she liked it and was comfortable just try to find something in our color scheme.She could have chosen white if she wanted to. She chose a gorgeous teal dress and she said she had never felt so beautiful and how comfy it was. I rather have the people I love with me than to think I have to be the center of attention. Weddings are rarely ever perfect and you have no right to make everyone else miserable at a wedding that has barely a 50/50 shot of a long term marriage. To me when things went wrong with ours it actually turned out being way more special memories that we have laughed at for over two decades.
I am so sorry. I know you said you did not want to end the friendship, but this is NOT what friendship looks like. True friends support you, encourage you, praise you and boast about how beautiful and talented your make up is. You need a new friend.
This isn't about make up. Your friend is incredibly toxic and you need to end that friendship ASAP. I have no idea why some girls behave like this in their friendships and get away with it. There's no way I'd allow someone to put me down all the time, especially in front of others. If you wouldn't allow a boyfriend toy treat you this way, you sure as hell shouldn't allow a friend to.
This is beyond toxic, it's abuse.
I grew up an only child with my single Father. I moved up to my mother's area after he died. My (6yrs older half on my mother's side) sister's husband's dog chewed up the right side of my face 10 years ago this August when I was at their house. I was there to babysit my then 20mo old niece. I ate only liquids through a straw for 6 months through 2 surgeries. NO ONE HAS EVER APOLOGIZED. EVER. Sister hasn't spoken to me because I won't forgive with absolution. Her husband NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT ME and HAS REFUSED. My mother has only said in 10 years, "Thank you for saving my granddaughter." But... THEY CALL ME THE AHOLE FOR WANTING AN APOLOGY!!
It sometimes sneaks up on you! I had a friendship that I one day realised was toxic. We used to have such a laugh but then when she realised men paid me the compliments, not her, she started to belittle me and criticised those who made the compliments. Conversations I started would be waved off as uninteresting suddenly - when before they hadn't been. As I'm not confident I just assumed I was annoying her. Then it gradually dawned that this person wasn't actually a friend and if I let the friendship die I was actually losing nothing - as it wasn't genuine or worth having. This woman is no friend. The OP offered to minimise her make up, make more of her friend's - she shouldn't have to do that but she has tried. Sad but sometimes you have to let a 'friend' go.
Just put on makeup and goto the wedding, if the bride says no and tells you to leave , then it's on her.
This
Unfortunately, people have to learn what's socially acceptable and "normal", and for some it takes longer than for others. I had the first "real" best friend when I was 14, all before that had ulterior motives like having their homework done, playing in our huge garden or just feeling like they were better at sth. (I was a late bloomer). My niece never made real friends in school (she made friends in her extracurricular activities) because her class mates were all superficial and bragged about sh*t like watching scary movies etc. If you don't know there's a problem, that's all you'll know, and you'll only notice once you get to know something else. It's like only noticing your boyfriend's an a*s when you meet someone who actually likes you.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I make more then $12,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… 🙂 AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====) www.fuljobz.com
Yeah, dump that b*tch. When one of my best friends got married I was the MOH. I've been wearing black for over 20 years now, I am fat, and I am not a girly girl, so I am not comfortable in dresses. Guess what? My friend said I should just wear whatever I am comfortable in, even black, even though thst is considered bad luck. Her only request was that I don't wear white. THAT is what a friend is - or just a normal and reasonable human being.
On the day of my wedding, I thought my bridesmaids have never looked more beautiful. I was happy to let each of them shine, and didn't feel that anyone would be comparing them to me.
Alie, you're a true lady of class. You have humility, and that's a very rare high level of empathy and value of others.
That's exactly how it should be. Your friends and loved ones are there to celebrate you and trying to one up them is toxic. I have never understood bridezilla's. Nothing is ever perfect, especially weddings. There are so many things going on at the same time and people are human,so things don't go as planned. Rather than sitting around pouting because things aren't perfect laugh and think about those things fondly. They make for much better memories than a robotic and predictable stories.
This comment!! I specifically asked for my sisters hair to be similar to mine as I knew she’d try to dress down for my big day and wanted her to feel as good as I did. She was walking me down the aisle and I wanted her to look stunning too 🥰🥰
As long as none neither maids nor guests choose to wear white - or what ever colour the bride chooses to wear - it’s cool.
I wore a black chiffon cocktail dress my husband pulled off a sale rack at our otherwise large, formal 80s wedding. It was perfect. Go figure. He's been patting himself on the back for 35 years, lol.
Good job. Great team! Congatulations.
my best friend (a man) was married last year and I was his "best man" (I'm a woman). We've been friends for over 20 years and were a creative team for 10 years. He knows I'm not comfortable dressing up or even wearing shoes. When I asked him what I should wear he told me I should just wear whatever I wanted. I told him I was going to dress up in a T Rex costume and he said "go with it!" I compromised and wore dressy pink twill jeans and a dressy pink shirt but no shoes. He and his bride had zero issue with that
That is EXACTLY what I would say. I wouldn't even bring up makeup at all, if someone asked me I would say, just please come however you're the most comfortable.
When I got married a million years ago I had a MOH and he had a best man. No groomsmen nor bridesmaids. Our colors were black,white and teal green. I told my MOH I didn't care what she wore as long as she liked it and was comfortable just try to find something in our color scheme.She could have chosen white if she wanted to. She chose a gorgeous teal dress and she said she had never felt so beautiful and how comfy it was. I rather have the people I love with me than to think I have to be the center of attention. Weddings are rarely ever perfect and you have no right to make everyone else miserable at a wedding that has barely a 50/50 shot of a long term marriage. To me when things went wrong with ours it actually turned out being way more special memories that we have laughed at for over two decades.
I am so sorry. I know you said you did not want to end the friendship, but this is NOT what friendship looks like. True friends support you, encourage you, praise you and boast about how beautiful and talented your make up is. You need a new friend.