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23YO Instantly Regrets Moving In With 32YO BF, Realizes He Only Wanted A Full-Time Maid And Nanny
Woman cooking with children in kitchen, highlighting nanny with benefits concept and relationship challenges.

23YO Instantly Regrets Moving In With 32YO BF, Realizes He Only Wanted A Full-Time Maid And Nanny

Interview With Expert

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Sometimes, the dating world can actually be quite scary because you never know who you’ll end up with. If luck is on your side, you find the perfect partner; if not, you may end up with someone who seems amazing but slowly reveals their true colors.

Just look at this woman who thought she had met an awesome guy, only to be surprised when he asked her to move in after just two months of dating. Once they started living together, she quickly realized his ulterior motive behind it all. Read on to find out what it was!

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    The dating world is like hunting rare gems; sometimes you find a precious one, other times, it’s just a fake

    Woman and boyfriend holding hands outdoors, illustrating relationship challenges and realizing nanny with benefits, not partner situation.

    Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The 23-year-old poster had only been dating her 32-year-old boyfriend for 2 months when he asked her to move in with him

    Screenshot of text about a woman realizing her boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner after moving in.

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    Excerpt from a woman's story about moving in with her boyfriend of two months and discovering he wanted a nanny with benefits.

    Alt text: Woman realizes boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner, after moving in together two months ago.

    Text excerpt about woman realizing her boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, managing work, school, and relationship challenges.

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    Woman moves in with boyfriend, quickly realizing he wanted a nanny with benefits, not a committed partner in relationship.

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    Man holding toddler playing with wooden airplane, representing woman moves in with boyfriend realizing he wanted nanny with benefits.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    He promised that they would do more hikes and cycling as they would have more time if they lived together, but that never happened

    Text about woman moving in with boyfriend after two months dating, realizing he wanted a nanny with benefits not a partner.

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    Text excerpt about woman realizing her boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner, after moving in.

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    Text excerpt from a woman's story about moving in with boyfriend and realizing he wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner.

    Text excerpt discussing a woman moving in with her boyfriend, expecting partnership but facing nanny-like expectations instead.

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    Alt text: Woman moves in with boyfriend of 2 months and soon realizes he expected a nanny with benefits, not a partner.

    Text discussing a woman moving in with boyfriend who expected a nanny with benefits, not a committed partner.

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    Man relaxing on couch watching TV with coffee and croissants, illustrating nanny with benefits relationship concept.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    In fact, he turned her into a maid who cooked and cleaned for him, while also babysitting his two kids, and all he did was play video games

    Text about woman realizing boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, highlighting challenges of childcare and relationship roles.

    Woman moves in with boyfriend, feels like a live-in nanny with benefits, not a partner in their relationship.

    Text excerpt discussing outdated gender roles and unfair expectations in a relationship involving cooking and cleaning.

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    Text excerpt about woman realizing boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits after moving in and financial struggles.

    Text on white background reads I do love this man and I don't want to abandon him with all of his responsibilities and raising his two kids on his own.

    Text about a woman reflecting on motherhood and assumptions about a loving marriage with a partner sharing her outlook on life.

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    Text excerpt about a woman realizing her boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, not a true partner after moving in.

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    Woman acting as nanny with benefits, helping children prepare food in a cozy kitchen setting.

    Image credits: angel_nt / Freepik  (not the actual photo)

    He also asked her to pay her own bills, along with $500 rent, and she was frustrated by how he ignored his and his kids’ physical health

    Text about woman realizing boyfriend wanted nanny with benefits, feeling sad and noticing decline in mental and physical health.

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    Text expressing confusion about ending a relationship after moving in with boyfriend who wanted a nanny with benefits.

    Text on a white background reads about a woman feeling heartbroken after realizing her boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner.

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    Young woman looking thoughtful by a window, reflecting on moving in with boyfriend and relationship challenges.

    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    She finally had enough and left him, even though he begged her not to, but her life was much better after ditching him

    Text post update about leaving boyfriend after realizing relationship was more about nanny with benefits than partnership.

    Alt text: Text about woman realizing boyfriend of two months wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner, after moving in.

    Text excerpt discussing a woman moving back to her grandma’s house after realizing her boyfriend wanted a nanny with benefits.

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    Text showing a woman describing how her boyfriend of 2 months wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner.

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    Woman reflects on moving in with boyfriend of two months, realizing he wanted a nanny with benefits, not a partner.

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    He even blamed her for him sleeping with one of his exes, but she didn’t care as she was living her best life, going on trips and hikes like she always wanted

    In today’s story, the 23-year-old original poster (OP) tells us about her troubled relationship. She met her 32-year-old boyfriend through a mutual friend, and the two hit it off immediately. He was a father of two kids, and both of them had common interests like hiking and physical activities. Much to her surprise, though, he asked her to move in with him after just 2 months of dating.

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    He somehow convinced her that they would be able to spend more time and do a lot of activities together, so she finally relented. However, things took a turn for the worse after she moved in. He literally turned her into a maid by dumping all the domestic chores on her, like cleaning and cooking. She was also an unpaid nanny for his kids, as she constantly babysat them.

    All this time, the man was just a couch potato, playing video games for almost 6 to 8 hours straight. Meanwhile, he also had the audacity to ask her to pay $500 rent, which was too much for her, considering that she was a part-time student. Moreover, despite all the physical activities that he had promised, they didn’t do a single thing for four months, so she finally reached her breaking point.

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    After she vented online, Redditors gave her a reality check about the toxic moocher who was just using her. Well, to everyone’s delight, she updated that she had finally left him, even when he begged her not to. In fact, he even blamed her for his mistake, but she was just done with him. Not only was she super happy with her life, but she also had trips and hikes planned out!

    Young woman hugging elderly woman in kitchen, reflecting woman moves in with BF and realizes he wanted nanny with benefits.

    Image credits: ArtPhoto_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    “When a younger person dates someone older with kids, they can accidentally slide into the ‘step-parent’ or ‘live-in helper’ role without even realizing it. Things move fast, the older partner already has a whole routine, and the younger partner just wants to be supportive and helpful,” explained Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor that Bored Panda interviewed.

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    She also narrated that most people don’t notice it’s happening until they’re exhausted or feeling like they’ve lost themselves. It’s super common, and psychologists see this dynamic all the time, she added. We also conversed with our expert about the impact that the man’s behavior can have on the poster, and she said that it can be quite concerning.

    “His gendered jokes, unequal labor, and built-in expectations may often lead to her carrying the emotional load. This can leave her feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, and unsure of what a healthy relationship looks like. Even her self-esteem can take a hit, as she may feel appreciated only for chores or caretaking rather than for who she is as a person,” Prof. Lobo noted.

    She further emphasized that it can also affect her sense of identity and personal growth. Instead of having time for hobbies, goals, or her own life, she’s focused on managing his responsibilities. Prof. Lobo believes that this can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and learning harmful patterns like over-giving or ignoring red flags.

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    Well, just like netizens, I am definitely glad that OP took such a bold stance and ditched him for good. What are your thoughts about it? Let us know in the comments!

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    Folks online were truly glad to see that she left the toxic man who only wanted a free nanny and maid

    Screenshot of Reddit comments discussing a woman who moves in with boyfriend and realizes he wanted nanny with benefits.

    Text post about a patient father reflecting on patience when someone else watches his kids while he plays video games.

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    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a relationship with red flags and expressing relief about her well-being.

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    Alt text: Reddit comment expressing frustration about a boyfriend who treated his partner like a nanny with benefits, not a true partner.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment saying Saw age gap, stopped reading about woman moving in with boyfriend after 2 months.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man wanting a live-in babysitter rather than a partner in a relationship.

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    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

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    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    What do you think ?
    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Young woman with little relationship experience has learned a valuable lesson in life and paid only a small price for it. Glad this worked out for her, and I think/hope she is an even better and smarter person from having had this experience.

    nicoleermintrude
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I ɢᴇᴛ ᴘᴀɪᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ $120 ᴘᴇʀ ʜᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴅᴅʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴏᴠᴇʀ $13,453 ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ. sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴀsʜ ɪɴ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ.....➤➤ 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗝𝗼𝗯𝟭.𝗰𝗼𝗺

    Load More Replies...
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Look what you made me do - I had to sleep with an ex-fling!" And sadly, he had to sleep with one who doesn't do nannying, housekeeping, and hand over half her salary.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing she left him. She was Nanny + Housemaid + Roomate + benefits.

    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AKA - a bangmaid! (Sunny in Philly joke).

    Load More Replies...
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    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Young woman with little relationship experience has learned a valuable lesson in life and paid only a small price for it. Glad this worked out for her, and I think/hope she is an even better and smarter person from having had this experience.

    nicoleermintrude
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I ɢᴇᴛ ᴘᴀɪᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ $120 ᴘᴇʀ ʜᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴅᴅʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴏᴠᴇʀ $13,453 ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ. sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴀsʜ ɪɴ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ.....➤➤ 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗝𝗼𝗯𝟭.𝗰𝗼𝗺

    Load More Replies...
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Look what you made me do - I had to sleep with an ex-fling!" And sadly, he had to sleep with one who doesn't do nannying, housekeeping, and hand over half her salary.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing she left him. She was Nanny + Housemaid + Roomate + benefits.

    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AKA - a bangmaid! (Sunny in Philly joke).

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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