Growing up, millions of little girls across the globe wanted to be just like Barbie. Today, however, with the Barbie film taking the world by storm, plenty of adults are channeling their inner pink fashionistas as well. And for one woman, that meant breaking up with her boyfriend who wasn’t on board with the film’s feminist themes.
Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on Reddit detailing how a date night to the Barbie movie was the catalyst for this woman’s break-up, as well as a conversation with Senior Accredited Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist Mary Clegg.
This woman was thrilled to see the new Barbie film with her boyfriend
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
But after his response to the movie fell flat, she realized how many issues in their relationship she had been overlooking
Image credits: warnerbros
Image credits: u/notalaskakidd
Image credits: warnerbros
Later, the woman shared an update on her situation
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/notalaskakidd
It has been debated for years whether or not Barbie is a progressive toy, but the film certainly has feminist themes
Image credits: Chuck Orbitz (not the actual photo)
Barbie dolls have long been a beloved, yet controversial, toy. Despite the fact that 92% of American girls between the ages of 3 and 12 have owned a Barbie doll and the company brings in $1 billion worth of sales in over 150 countries every year, not everyone is a fan. In recent years, Barbies have been criticized for promoting an unrealistic body image, potentially encouraging disordered eating and leading to girls developing insecurities about their bodies from a young age. On the other hand, however, Barbie dolls have portrayed women holding a wide variety of professions over the years. Yes, she does it all in high heels, with a cinched waist and perfectly styled hair, but she’s not simply a housewife.
Barbie has been a fashion designer, a rock star, a chef, an Olympic figure skater, a business executive, a robotics engineer, a renewable energy engineer, and more over the past 60 years. So it shouldn’t come as a complete shock that the Barbie film, directed by Greta Gerwig, who’s known for directing Lady Bird and Little Women, has feminist themes woven in. According to Kalhan Rosenblatt and Daysia Tolentino at NBC News, the movie brings bimbo feminism and hyperfemininity into the mainstream, while addressing “the complexity and contradictions of modern womanhood.” “The crux of the message is that women should have the autonomy to be what they want to be without having to conform to the patriarchy’s ideals,” Rosenblatt and Tolentino write.
It’s still common for men to be skeptical of feminism, as one third believe it does more harm than good
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
While the woman who shared this post on Reddit admits that her relationship did not end solely due to the Barbie film, the movie did bring to her attention how different their views are on certain topics, such as feminism. Unfortunately, this is a common issue for couples to have, as one third of men believe that feminism actually does more harm than good.
“Men today are raised in a culture that largely promotes (false) anti-feminist stereotypes, such as that feminists hate men or want power over men (rather than equality), which may lead them to be skeptical of the movement or people who associate with it,” says Julie Zeilinger, author of A Little F’d Up: Why Feminism Is Not A Dirty Word. But just because your partner may have been raised without being exposed to what exactly feminism is doesn’t mean he’s a lost cause.
If you love your partner and they’re open to learning and understanding where you’re coming from, she recommends simply explaining feminism to him. “Feminism is, on the most basic level, a movement that pursues social, political and economic equality,” Zeilinger writes. However, if he is openly against it and you have fundamental differences in your values that will never be resolved, it might be time to consider ending the relationship. “You should be with someone who makes your life better—who challenges you, who makes you a better version of yourself and makes you happy,” Zeilinger says.
Having values that align with your partner can make any relationship easier
Image credits: thefreebieguy
To gain more insight on the topic of sharing values with our partners, we reached out to Senior Accredited Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist and Clinical Director of the Mary Clegg Clinic, Mary Clegg herself. Mary was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain why it’s important for our partners to have similar views and values. “Put simply, when we get together with someone, we miss the red flags because we are so in ‘love’. At that moment, they meet our needs,” the expert shared. “No relationship should feel like a compromise.”
We also asked Mary if she believes it’s worth it to break up with a partner who holds different views. “Could be, but couples who try to resolve their difficulties stay together,” she shared, citing Gottman. “Relationship and couple therapists teach couples to resolve things with balance, calmness and structure. Sounds boring, but it is truly amazing.”
“When you truly know someone, love will grow as you are a partnership”
Mary also says it’s not uncommon for break-ups to be sparked by something seemingly unrelated, like the Barbie movie. “Very often there will be a trigger like the film, but understanding that your partner has different values, you need to look to the why,” the expert says. “Whose view is it? (A collection of stories from his dad?) Where did that view come from? Reflection is an art form.”
“Brene Brown said to love someone is to ‘know’ them,” Mary added. “Did they really communicate on all topics, or was she shut down by a blunt response? Even that needs exploring. When you truly know someone, love will grow as you are a partnership, together, have each other’s backs etc.” If you’d like to hear more wise words from Mary and the rest of her team, be sure to visit the Mary Clegg Clinic’s website.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman was right to end her relationship? Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues in a relationship, we recommend reading this piece next.
Readers assured the woman that she had valid reasons to end her relationship
Would it really have mattered if the movie was the sole reason for the breakup? You don't really need a reason other than "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore" to leave someone.
Your sense of Humor signifies values, according to science. He had s****y values, and she was 100% correct for breaking up with him.
Load More Replies...As someone that hasn't seen the Barbie-movie yet, my absolut favorite is when Ryan Gosling got a question about the movie on the red carpet and said he didn't want to KEN-SPLAIN the movie. 🤣 I still laugh when I think about it. Wish I could use that instead on mansplain, but alas, no one will get it so I'm sharing here to get it out of the system.... 😁😉
Let’s hope Barbie breaking up toxic relationships with deadbeat bigots is the next hot social media trend.
Why is everyone ignoring the fact that he might be banging his cousin????
Let's see...bigoted, misogynistic, lazy, parasitic, self- centered, AND an emotional hostage taker!!! What a prize! Egomaniacs w/ inferiority complexes rarely change- unless THEIR problems become THEIR problems & THEIR'S alone. Please see a trained psychologist to see what it is about YOU that needs this in your life- run thru fire to get there, or you're doomed to repeat this cycle ad nauseam.
She dodged a bullet. Young guys are usually full of p**s and vinegar anyway, sounds like that one may have gotten sucked into the manosphere as well. So much for not being easily offended.
The only thing I took out of this was she referred to Ryan Gosling as Ryan Reynolds
"It’s still common for men to be skeptical of feminism, as one third believe it does more harm than good" - Depends on how it's shown. The current Hollywood trend to elevate women by pushing down men into the deepest, darkest pits for example does more harm to the cause by hampering gaining acceptance.
I don't know of anyone, growing up, who wanted to be "just like Barbie". Sure, they *played* with Barbies, but they knew the difference between play and real life.
I don't know if you were borne in the eighties, spend your childhood in the nineties to then come of age in the early 2000s. I did and I accepted barbie as a faboulous doll - I made them going for a hike or explore caves. But having barbies slim (physically impossible) body in mind - combined with the extrem fat-shaming (of girls which even weren't chubby) in the beginning of the 2000s I, for a long time (maybe until today) carried the conception that I was fat, fat, fat (while in real I was able to wear a size S or SX - but not XXS). Anyway: I love the current Barbie movie! It's so much more inclusive, points out how women are still being considered less in today's western society, making fun of the patriarchy and was overall fun to watch 😁
Load More Replies...hmm I watched it and I consider myself far-far left, like burn the capitalism to the ground far left. But I found it really not subtle at all. It seemed to be preaching to the choir and missing the target audience by giving too many soliloquys.
Change the locks. I know she won't be reading this, but hopefully someone else may find the suggestion useful. Change the locks. Be alert. Two states away is not the far-side of the moon. He got there and he can return. Also, heightened state of alert for as long as it takes. My wife watches Discovery ID and sometimes I sit with her. Too many bad stories start like that.
The movie was just the last straw, if it hadn't been that it would have been something else. The truth is, the guy was a liar, a cheater, a moocher, a bigot and a sexist pig. What a prince. Now his cousin has him, and if she was humping him while he was still with you, then she's no better than him and the two of them deserve each other. Turns out he DID have somewhere to go after all, didn't he? As for him emptying your fridge and rifling all your batteries down to the smallest appliance... that was petty and just plain vindictive. As was the MIA trip for several days - this was meant to make you freak out and feel guilty, and it worked. But you have nothing to feel guilty about, and anyway, a woman should never feel she has to endure a complete a shmuck because he "has nowhere to go" - then he'll FIX IT so that he has nowhere to go! Your mistake was to be absent as he was packing. Don't do that again. Be grateful he didn't trash the entire place, and change the locks.
I have about as much desire to watch the Barbie movie as I have to get kicked in the head. Having said that, I think you dodged a bullet.
This isn’t about the movie. He sounds like a d bag. This needed to happen. Him not having a car/decent job/place to go to- that’s not your problem. I hope you’re doing better but his problems are not yours and it wasn’t because of the movie. It’s because he’s a awful person that needs to be a man and grow up
Ffs you have to be kidding is this a thing really lmao it's a f*****g movie you idiots
I understand that she's only 23 but this sounds like it was written by a kid. She was right to break up with him but overall she sounds very immature.
It wasn't totally coherent, but she admitted after the first post "i wrote that post in a frenzy of panic and guilt". She sounds willing to learn from the experience.
Load More Replies...Someone in this equation has a job and a car. The other one stole her stuff and is now sleeping with his cousin. Yes, she's definitely the problem 🙄
Load More Replies...You really need to read something before criticizing. That's not the subject at all.
Load More Replies...Would it really have mattered if the movie was the sole reason for the breakup? You don't really need a reason other than "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore" to leave someone.
Your sense of Humor signifies values, according to science. He had s****y values, and she was 100% correct for breaking up with him.
Load More Replies...As someone that hasn't seen the Barbie-movie yet, my absolut favorite is when Ryan Gosling got a question about the movie on the red carpet and said he didn't want to KEN-SPLAIN the movie. 🤣 I still laugh when I think about it. Wish I could use that instead on mansplain, but alas, no one will get it so I'm sharing here to get it out of the system.... 😁😉
Let’s hope Barbie breaking up toxic relationships with deadbeat bigots is the next hot social media trend.
Why is everyone ignoring the fact that he might be banging his cousin????
Let's see...bigoted, misogynistic, lazy, parasitic, self- centered, AND an emotional hostage taker!!! What a prize! Egomaniacs w/ inferiority complexes rarely change- unless THEIR problems become THEIR problems & THEIR'S alone. Please see a trained psychologist to see what it is about YOU that needs this in your life- run thru fire to get there, or you're doomed to repeat this cycle ad nauseam.
She dodged a bullet. Young guys are usually full of p**s and vinegar anyway, sounds like that one may have gotten sucked into the manosphere as well. So much for not being easily offended.
The only thing I took out of this was she referred to Ryan Gosling as Ryan Reynolds
"It’s still common for men to be skeptical of feminism, as one third believe it does more harm than good" - Depends on how it's shown. The current Hollywood trend to elevate women by pushing down men into the deepest, darkest pits for example does more harm to the cause by hampering gaining acceptance.
I don't know of anyone, growing up, who wanted to be "just like Barbie". Sure, they *played* with Barbies, but they knew the difference between play and real life.
I don't know if you were borne in the eighties, spend your childhood in the nineties to then come of age in the early 2000s. I did and I accepted barbie as a faboulous doll - I made them going for a hike or explore caves. But having barbies slim (physically impossible) body in mind - combined with the extrem fat-shaming (of girls which even weren't chubby) in the beginning of the 2000s I, for a long time (maybe until today) carried the conception that I was fat, fat, fat (while in real I was able to wear a size S or SX - but not XXS). Anyway: I love the current Barbie movie! It's so much more inclusive, points out how women are still being considered less in today's western society, making fun of the patriarchy and was overall fun to watch 😁
Load More Replies...hmm I watched it and I consider myself far-far left, like burn the capitalism to the ground far left. But I found it really not subtle at all. It seemed to be preaching to the choir and missing the target audience by giving too many soliloquys.
Change the locks. I know she won't be reading this, but hopefully someone else may find the suggestion useful. Change the locks. Be alert. Two states away is not the far-side of the moon. He got there and he can return. Also, heightened state of alert for as long as it takes. My wife watches Discovery ID and sometimes I sit with her. Too many bad stories start like that.
The movie was just the last straw, if it hadn't been that it would have been something else. The truth is, the guy was a liar, a cheater, a moocher, a bigot and a sexist pig. What a prince. Now his cousin has him, and if she was humping him while he was still with you, then she's no better than him and the two of them deserve each other. Turns out he DID have somewhere to go after all, didn't he? As for him emptying your fridge and rifling all your batteries down to the smallest appliance... that was petty and just plain vindictive. As was the MIA trip for several days - this was meant to make you freak out and feel guilty, and it worked. But you have nothing to feel guilty about, and anyway, a woman should never feel she has to endure a complete a shmuck because he "has nowhere to go" - then he'll FIX IT so that he has nowhere to go! Your mistake was to be absent as he was packing. Don't do that again. Be grateful he didn't trash the entire place, and change the locks.
I have about as much desire to watch the Barbie movie as I have to get kicked in the head. Having said that, I think you dodged a bullet.
This isn’t about the movie. He sounds like a d bag. This needed to happen. Him not having a car/decent job/place to go to- that’s not your problem. I hope you’re doing better but his problems are not yours and it wasn’t because of the movie. It’s because he’s a awful person that needs to be a man and grow up
Ffs you have to be kidding is this a thing really lmao it's a f*****g movie you idiots
I understand that she's only 23 but this sounds like it was written by a kid. She was right to break up with him but overall she sounds very immature.
It wasn't totally coherent, but she admitted after the first post "i wrote that post in a frenzy of panic and guilt". She sounds willing to learn from the experience.
Load More Replies...Someone in this equation has a job and a car. The other one stole her stuff and is now sleeping with his cousin. Yes, she's definitely the problem 🙄
Load More Replies...You really need to read something before criticizing. That's not the subject at all.
Load More Replies...
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