27YO Guy Gets A Reality Check From Older GF When He Tries To Stop Her Having A Glass Of Wine

Relationships are about give and take, but if one partner holds the reins too tightly, things seldom end well. After all, who wants to be constantly told what they can and can’t do, especially once they’ve reached adulthood?

One woman found herself in the unenviable position of having to tell her boyfriend where he could get off after he tried to deny her a glass of wine because he doesn’t “trust her family genes”. She turned to netizens to share her story.

More info: Reddit

A healthy relationship should never be about control, as this woman was forced to point out to her pushy boyfriend

Couple shopping in a store, discussing items, relating to family genes and alcoholism concerns.

Image credits: Gustavo Fring / Pexels (not the actual photo)

While they were out shopping for a seafood dinner, she asked her boyfriend to grab a bottle of wine she knew would pair perfectly with the dish

Text discussing a boyfriend's refusal to get wine for his girlfriend, citing family alcoholism genes.

Text about pairing shrimp, salmon, and asparagus with wine. Boyfriend declines due to alcoholism concerns.

Text image with a man's response about family genes and alcoholism, causing surprise.

Person selecting wine from a store shelf, implying a discussion around alcoholism and family genes.

Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Much to her surprise, her boyfriend flat-out refused, telling her she shouldn’t be drinking during the week

Screenshot of a text exchange about family genes and alcoholism, highlighting a disagreement over drinking habits.

Text discussing alcohol genetics and family history, expressing frustration and confusion about assumptions.

Text discussing absence of alcoholism despite family genes, mentioning independence and cohabitation with partner.

Couple on a couch in a serious discussion about alcoholism and family genes, looking concerned.

Image credits: simonapilolla / Freepik (not the actual photo)

When she asked him why, he straight-up told her that her family are alcoholics, and he doesn’t trust her “family genes”

Text about a woman asserting her choice to drink wine, addressing concerns about family alcoholism genes.

Text expressing frustration over a boyfriend's reaction to a request for wine due to family alcoholism concerns.

Text exchange about boyfriend refusing to get girlfriend wine due to family alcoholism concerns.

Image credits: bowlofglitter

When she told him she’s an adult and she’ll do what she wants, he stormed off to his dad’s place, leaving her to ask netizens if she’d been a jerk

Most people would agree that a glass of wine with dinner is perfectly normal—unless you’re OP’s boyfriend, Dave, that is. Her relaxing Thursday turned into a dramatic argument after Dave refused to let her enjoy a single glass of wine with her meal. His reason? Her family has a history of alcoholism, so he doesn’t “trust her genes.” Yikes.

It all started when the couple went shopping to pick up ingredients for a special seafood dinner. Thinking a small bottle of her favorite wine would pair perfectly with the dish, she asked Dave to grab one, but he flat-out refused. Confused, she asked him why, only to be hit with an unexpected and rather insulting insinuation.

Defending her right to make her own choices, she reminded Dave that she’s a grown woman and can make her own decisions. Instead of handling the conversation maturely, though, Dave exploded with anger, stormed off to his dad’s place for the night, and left OP high and dry with an untouched dinner. All over a measly glass of wine.

Now, she’s wondering if she was in the wrong, and turned to netizens for advice.

Let’s be real – controlling what your partner can and can’t drink (especially in moderation) on a random Thursday night? Major red flag. Dave is using his fear of OP becoming an alcoholic to try to control her, and that’s just not how healthy relationships work. But is there any sense in his argument that she might be at risk of developing into a full-blown alcoholic just because of her family history? We went looking for answers.

Woman enjoying wine outdoors, related to alcoholism and family genes discussion.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

In her article for Healthline, Hope Gillette writes that, according to the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, alcohol use disorder (AUD) affects approximately 29.5 million people in the United States. 

The 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a clinical diagnostic guidebook, states that AUD often runs in families at a rate of 3–4 times higher compared with the general population. 

Basically, the more relatives you have living with AUD and the closer they are to you in relation, the higher your individual genetic risk becomes. 

In her article for GoodRX, Emily Guarnotta writes that, while genetics play a role in the risk of alcoholism, there is no “alcoholic gene.” Someone’s risk of developing AUD is due to variations in many different genes – researchers believe that hundreds of different genes play a role.

But it doesn’t all come down to genetics, either. Other risk factors for developing AUD include starting to drink alcohol at a young age, a history of trauma, mental health conditions, cognitive impairments, and difficulty controlling impulses in childhood or adolescence.

From what she tells the community in her post, it doesn’t seem like OP is anywhere near an alcoholic – she even mentions not being able to remember the last time she had a drink with dinner. We think her boyfriend is going to have to ease up a bit, or risk ruining their whole relationship.

What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her boyfriend has a point, or should he let her make her own adult choices? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers slammed the woman’s boyfriend for being too controlling and reminded her that he’s not her parent or boss

Reddit post discussing a boyfriend's refusal to get wine due to girlfriend's family alcoholism history, prompting debate.

Reddit discussion about boyfriend's refusal citing alcoholism in family genes.

Reddit comments joking about family genes and alcoholism, with a play on the word "jeans.

Comment on Reddit implying boyfriend's immature behavior about girlfriend's family alcoholism.

Text comment about boyfriend's refusal to get wine, mentions family genes concern and relationship advice.

Comment discussing control in relationships related to refusal of wine due to family genetics and alcoholism concerns.

Text recounts a story about alcohol and family genes, comparing shared experiences of genetic alcoholism.

Comment discussing wine and judgment, suggests enjoying wine despite BF's refusal citing family alcoholism genes.

Comment discussing wine and grown woman in context of family genes and alcoholism.

Comment about boyfriend refusing wine, discusses control issues and enjoying wine despite "family genes" claim.

Reddit comment criticizing boyfriend's reaction to girlfriend's alcoholism.

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