“I Just Cried”: Man Wants A Custom Halloween Costume For $1.5K, GF Can’t Take It Anymore

Nobody should ever find themselves stuck in a toxic relationship that sucks out their very soul. You deserve happiness, emotional fulfilment, and stability, and should settle for nothing less. But that’s easier said than done. Getting away from a manipulative, violent partner is incredibly difficult and scary.

Internet user u/AlexisDrake1354 turned to the ‘Relationship Advice’ community for help with her parasitic boyfriend, who was in debt and asked her for a jaw-dropping sum of money for his Halloween costume. What turned out to be an argument over money soon evolved into something far more frightening.

Scroll down for the full story, including two very important updates. A note of warning, the story is intense and might trigger you if you’ve ever been in a violent relationship.

One woman, who felt stuck in a relationship with a parasite, shared how he tried to pressure her into taking out a massive personal loan under her name

Young woman looking thoughtfully out a window, reflecting on a man with debt asking for a loan to buy a Spiderman costume.

Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels (not the actual photo)

What seemed at first to be a clear-cut argument about money actually turned out to be much more toxic and disturbing

Young woman explains boyfriend with $5K debt asking her to take loan for $1.5K Spiderman costume purchase.

Text on a white background reading I am feeling a bit unsure of how upset I should be or if I even should be upset about it.

Text explaining a man with 5000 dollars debt who is unemployed and relies on government payments.

Text excerpt about a man with $5K debt asking girlfriend to take a loan for a $1.5K Spiderman costume purchase.

Text about a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan in her name to buy a $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt expressing frustration over a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume.

Young woman with tears on her face reflecting on a man with debt asking for a loan to buy a Spiderman costume.

Image credits: Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text on white background about a man in debt asking his girlfriend for a loan to buy a Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt about a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend for a loan to buy a $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Man with 5K debt asking girlfriend to take loan in her name to buy a 1.5K Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt about a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt discussing relationship advice on handling a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend for a loan.

Man with $5K debt asks girlfriend to take loan in her name to buy $1.5K Spiderman costume for Halloween.

Nobody should have to be a victim of violence and manipulation at home. And yet, leaving this sort of relationship is far from easy. Escaping requires lots of careful planning

Close-up of a worried man with $5K debt contemplating asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a $1.5K Spiderman costume purchase.

Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

According to the author, her (now ex) boyfriend was in debt to the tune of around $5,000. Seeing as he was financially unreliable, he asked u/AlexisDrake1354 for a large personal loan in her name.

This was just the tip of the iceberg, however. The man was also unemployed, fully dependent on his girlfriend and the government financially, and dealing with a host of mental health issues.

On top of that, he was physically and emotionally violent, manipulative, and controlling toward his partner, trying to cheat on her, and threatening to brutally harm her and her loved ones.

In an update around a year after her original post online, the woman shared that after breaking up with her boyfriend, then getting back together, and the relationship falling apart, she is finally in a healthy situation.

“Please know I am happy, safe, and doing well now. I have regular therapy sessions and live away from my [violent] family and with friends who love and care for me, who have become like an adoptive family to me. Things are really well, and thank you for checking in,” she wrote in October 2024.

Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

To be very clear: leaving a toxic and violent relationship is incredibly difficult to do.

The Stepping Stones Crisis Society explains that things aren’t as simple as simply packing up your things and physically leaving your partner’s home.

Your partner might “have systems of control around you, you may feel guilty or blame yourself, have children involved, be physically threatened, or be financially controlled.”

Your priority should be your safety at all times. You are most at risk when you leave a toxic relationship, and for a long time afterward, so you have to plan ahead

Woman looking out a window in contemplation, symbolizing the dilemma of a man with debt and a costly Spiderman costume loan request.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels (not the actual photo)

According to the organization, your safety is paramount. So, you have to ensure that you are protected not only when leaving the relationship, but afterward as well.

The Stepping Stones Crisis Society stresses that the majority of violence occurs after the survivor ends the relationship, and 18 months afterward.

Some of the steps that you can take to leave the relationship are the following:

• Communicate with a trusted, non-judgmental third party, like a friend, relative, coworker, or institution, so they can guide you and help you escape.
• Find safe areas in your home and outside, and avoid small spaces, so that you’re not cornered.
• Establish a safe communication line, like buying an emergency phone to call the authorities, using a safe computer for research (e.g., in public, at work, or at a friend’s home), and creating fake social media accounts, and avoid using credit and debit cards so your partner doesn’t have a record of your purchases.
• Know your partner’s red flags, triggers, and tendencies. Plan accordingly, and seize opportunities during periods of peace to leave permanently.
• Identify any surveillance and recording devices your partner may have set up. However, don’t disable them before making your escape because it will tip your partner off about your plans.
• Be ready to escape quickly and leave immediately. Have an escape bag with your documents, cash, emergency phone, contact list, medication, etc., and keep it at a trusted third party’s home.
• Memorize any important information, like phone numbers and addresses.
• Practice escaping so you know how to adjust your plan.
• Seek help from shelters and organizations after escaping to start a new life safely.
• Keep your new home location secret, change your routine, and consider getting a restraining order against your partner.

What do you think, Pandas? What advice would you give anyone who feels powerless and stuck in a truly toxic relationship? How can they get out? What would you do if you were the breadwinner and your partner suddenly asked for a massive loan for something frivolous? Let us know in the comments below.

The internet soon weighed in with some brutally honest advice

Screenshot of a Reddit comment mocking a man with debt who asked his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Comment discussing a man with 5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a 1.5K Spiderman costume purchase.

Comment about man with $5K debt asking girlfriend to take loan for $1.5K Spiderman costume, advising to say no and avoid debt.

Reddit comment criticizing a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a $1.5K Spiderman costume purchase.

Text advice about standing your ground when a man with debt asks his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Reddit comment criticizing man with $5K debt asking girlfriend to take loan to buy $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Comment discussing a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a $1.5K loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Comment warning against letting someone with debt take a loan in your name, advising to freeze credit immediately.

Reddit comment reacting to man with debt asking girlfriend for loan to buy $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Screenshot of a social media comment warning about a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume.

Reddit comment discussing a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume.

Comment criticizing a man with $5K debt who asks his girlfriend to take a loan for a $1.5K Spiderman costume purchase.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Text about a man with 5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan so he can buy a $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Text explaining the sunk cost fallacy and questioning if investing more money in a failing relationship will improve the outcome.

Text message discussing therapy and boundary issues in the context of a man with debt asking his girlfriend for a loan.

Reddit comment discussing a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume.

Soon afterward, the author shared an update about her toxic relationship

Young woman with long dark hair sitting outdoors, looking stressed, related to man’s debt and Spiderman costume loan request.

Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Text post discussing feelings of attachment and dependency on a boyfriend after being together since high school.

Text excerpt explaining a man with debt asking his girlfriend for a loan to buy a Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt discussing a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Text excerpt describing a man with autism and depression relying on government disability and his partner becoming his carer.

Text excerpt discussing financial and emotional strain caused by man with debt asking girlfriend for loan to buy Spiderman costume.

Hand holding a black credit card symbolizing debt and a loan request for an expensive Spiderman costume purchase.

Image credits: Marcial Comeron/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a breakup after a man with debt asks his girlfriend to take a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Text of a message expressing gratitude for advice that helped someone avoid marrying or having children with a man in debt over a Spiderman costume.

A year after her original post, the woman came back to share a massive update about how her life has changed

Couple standing closely under a blue umbrella, with the man embracing the woman from behind on a rainy day.

Image credits: Shukhrat Umarov/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt showing a man with $5K debt asking girlfriend to take a loan to buy a $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Man with $5K debt asks girlfriend to take loan in her name to buy a $1.5K Spiderman costume request text screenshot.

Text excerpt about struggling with personal life and debt, highlighting a man’s $5K debt and Spiderman costume loan request.

Text excerpt describing a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan in her name for a Spiderman costume.

Man with 5K debt asks girlfriend to take loan in her name to buy an expensive Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt describing abuse and control in a relationship involving debt and a Spiderman costume purchase conflict.

Close-up of a man with $5K debt making a serious phone call, possibly discussing a loan for a Spiderman costume purchase.

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text expressing regret about a toxic relationship involving panic attacks, threats, and emotional abuse.

Text showing a man with 5K debt asking girlfriend to take a loan in her name to buy a 1.5K Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt about a man with $5K debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan to buy a $1.5K Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt from an article about a man with debt asking his girlfriend to take a loan for an expensive Spiderman costume.

Text excerpt about a man’s difficult past, therapy, and supportive friends helping him through tough times.

Image credits: AlexisDrake1354

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