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Valentine's Day is approaching, Pandas, so how many of you are going on your first dates on February 14th? If you have one planned already, there are some things to keep in mind. For example, how long should a first date be?
According to a survey conducted by the Match dating app, an average first date lasts for about two hours and 22 minutes. Dating experts say that one to two hours is the ideal time for a first date. It allows the couple to learn the very basics about each other but leaves enough mysteries for a second date.
Sadly, some first dates can drag on even if they're half an hour or even shorter. Bored Panda recently came upon two threads online where folks were sharing the moments during first dates when they realized there certainly wouldn't be a second one. We've compiled the funniest, most outrageous, and intriguing stories and present them to you here!
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#1
Didn’t ask me a single question. Just kept talking about his high paying job.
DigNitt:
UGH
I went on a first date with this girl. She just one word answered my open softball questions.
“So you’re a music major, you must play an instrument?”
-yeah oboe
“…cool…you must be pretty into oboe if you’re getting a degree in it.”
-yeah I played in high school
“….well, …you know I play a bit of piano, I used to teach it.”
-cool
“Yeah…uh, probably not at the college level, music wise, like you are…”
-yeah probably
ON and ON this went. The whole time. Got home and just figured there’s no connection there. The next day, I thought “you know, I’ve been on a first date before, I’ve been nervous, maybe one date isn’t a great litmus test.” So I text her, “hey had a good time last night. Want to grab a drink tomorrow?”
And she texted back “that’s okay, not sure we have a great connection. And FYI, don’t spend the whole first date doing all the talking next time.”
I literally aimed my phone at the wall to throw it, then just calmly set it down.
Farah (she/her) 7 hours ago
the second story pisses me off because if he HAD stayed silent, a) she wont talk, and; b) he'll be the one labelled as a weirdo or creepy for being quiet. ffs
RELATED:
#2
He dropped me home. My dog went to say hello, he kicked her.
CyberBit:
I would’ve immediately swung on that jerk for kicking my dog. Wow that’s insane.
#3
She told me how loyal she was by explaining how she’d helped facilitate her best friend cheating on her husband for over a year.
thelaidbckone:
I actually got a version of this once
She told me 2 of her friends were in a relationship and one of them was cheating...but bc the one cheating was the one she knew longer, she didn't say anything
#4
They kept checking their phone the entire time but then got genuinely offended when I glanced at mine once. The double standard was wild.
letsmakeart:
I went on a date once and one of my very, very good friends was in labour at the same time. As soon as I got to the date, I told the guy I might glance at my phone occasionally for updates because my friend was in labour. He went to the bathroom and I took my phone out while he was gone and saw that my friend had texted me a photo and info that the baby was born and doing great. The guy came back and said “you’re that bored huh?” and gestured to my phone. Very weird behaviour !!!!
#5
Took me to an upscale Steakhouse. When our dinner was served...He picked up his Steak and ate it with his hands! 🤦.
Unumbotte:
Oh, that's just Derek. We’ve mostly got him to stop biting waiters and wait for the food.
#6
Met for a coffee after 3 chats because she said she was better in person. I get there early, she walks up to the table, says my name, I turn to look at her and she says "If you're not planning to propose in the next 6 months you're wasting both our time" I said ok and walked out. I felt that was a red flag they probably saw from the international space station.
#7
Was getting ready to meet a girl for a date. We were going to a fairly nice restaurant. Average plate would be about 80 bucks a person. She asked if she could also bring her friend along. I immediately canceled.
miraculum_one:
Agree to it, don't show up, tell them you're running late and that they should sit down and order food and drinks, then block them.
#8
We went to get some ice cream, found a nice spot to sit down and chat a little bit, her first question was “So, how much money do you make in a year?”.
Chemical-Swing-420:
I know a woman who demands to see financial statements on the first date.
Credit Rating
Pay Statements
Bank Statements
Full Investment Disclosures
401k and Retirement Statements
Like, everything!
...and of course, she is insanely private about her financial life. She pushes all purchases through Apple Pay and a privacy screen protector on her phone. So no one can even figure out what bank she has accounts with.
She legitimately has no idea why people don't voluntarily give her all these details within 5 minutes of meeting her.
For those wondering, she's perpetually single.
Farah (she/her) 7 hours ago
"For those wondering, she's perpetually single" thank god, otherwise I would've cried
#9
Before I met my fiancé I went on a date with someone I met at the gym. He struck me as outgoing and artsy and the fact he was disciplined enough to go to the gym regularly was what kinda threw me for a loop regarding how the date went down.
He showed up 20 minutes late, and proceeded to say he did it on purpose to “build the tension”. I am a big believer in respecting people’s time and showing up on the dot— it’s really not that hard. Later on we began to discuss our careers and aspirations, when I told him I’m a graphic designer working in the tech field (my role is a mishmash of design and web development), he scoffed and said that’s not actually a real job and I would lose it to ai in the next five years. Super cool he said that and I’m sure he didn’t feel threatened by my successes in any way. His job? Director of internal expansions at a marketing agency. I already knew where this was going so I asked him to elaborate— “well, I was hired on a few months ago and already made it to the director level, my task is to recruit people in the hopes of them opening their own marketing agency affiliated with my company”. It was a MLM. He worked for a MLM scheme. I didn’t walk out or anything but I switched gym locations not even a week later.
I’m reading this back and realizing that I’m pretty lucky this has been my ‘worst of the worst’. I heard it’s brutal out there.
Healthy-Garlic364:
Don’t you just silently laugh at how MLM members try to make their situation sound so exciting and successful? All a ploy to reel you in.
#10
He told me he considered himself a virgin because he uses condoms when he had intercourse. (??????) I asked the obvious follow up question & he confirmed that he did not think the women he slept with were virgins.
I am not sure how I made it through the rest of the dinner to be honest. It was one of the strangest things I have ever heard someone say, much less on a first date.
SvenBubbleman:
I know someone who tells every girl he dates that he's a virgin because he prays to god for his virginity back.
#11
He talked about the second coming of Christ (I’m an atheist) he said he was looking for a wife, and when the bill came it was 11 dollars and he said, “Tell you what, I’ll get it this time, and you can get it next time.”
I felt like I was on an episode of Seinfeld.
#12
Went on a date with a woman who said she was a designer dog breeder... proceeded to tell me that she had a litter of puppies that came out 'wrong' that morning, and she got rid of them.
this was 8-9 years ago and I still can't believe I was told this on a first date.
one of the most horrific things I've ever heard from anyone in person, in my entire life.
Meeepyy:
That is defo a reportable crime.
HamsterGirl 6 hours ago
I HATE when breeders do this. Stop adopting from breeders! There are plenty of lovable, sad animals at shelters!
#13
As a women that is +30 is when a guy older than me tells me I’m old to date while he’s looking bald AF.
Lvcivs2311:
To be fair, a man can become bald quite young. But finding someone younger than you too old to date gives me creep vibes.
#14
Went to a restaurant. As soon as we sat down, she pulled out the report of her past stay in a psychiatric clinic.
Unumbotte:
Sigh, people say they hate small talk, but do they like it when you try to provide stimulating source materials for the conversation? Nooooo.
You probably don't want to see my colonoscopy video either. Apparently that's not what's meant by "movie night."
Kristiina Männiste 4 hours ago
Funny, thing but I would like to see the report and the video. The first because I dated a guy who got quirkier and quirkier by each date - turned he was off his meds and it slowly started to show - the info would have been welcome on the first date. (He eventually got delusions, started stalking me and my family and had to be involuntarily hospitalized) And the second one - Sourcing various endoscopes is a part of my job, so Im curious about the video quality, ideally the model of the endoscope too.
#15
Not exactly a date, but he showed up uninvited to an event where I mentioned I was going, then lost his phone in his hoarder car and asked me to call it so he could find it.
skillskil:
That's a very creative way to get someone's number...
#16
We scheduled to meet at a coffee place that was very near where he lived, but a half hour drive for me. I arrived early and the location was mobbed by a huge running group that had just arrived, line would be better part of an hour to get a coffee. There are still nice spots to sit outside on the garden wall, so I text to tell him the shop is mobbed so I couldn’t get a coffee but am seated here, and he arrives with a coffee from home FOR HIMSELF and nothing for me. Doesn’t even notice how rude that is as he sits down next to me while I have nothing, and remarks “thanks for letting me know so I could bring my coffee!” And I was like uhm, yeah, glad I drove a half hour for this.
#17
As a woman, a big red flag is when someone talks badly about everyone in their life on the first date. It usually shows a lack of accountability and awareness.
Michael_Stevens-:
Yeah, anyone who badmouths people around them that early is showing way too much baggage. Hard pass.
#18
Number 1 red flag is someone who doesn’t ask questions. They just talk about themselves.
A date is literally an opportunity for you to get to know the other person. Not asking questions is an indicator that they are more interested in you knowing THEM than them getting to know you. Run away lol.
#19
She was too curious about my investments.
scubaSteve181:
Had the same thing happen to me once. Shortly after asking what I did for a living- “Do you invest in stocks?” “How much money do you have invested?” “Do you have any bitcoins?”
Sorry lady, I’m looking for a partner, not a gold digger who’s only interested in money lol
#20
"Oh yeah that photo is old and I'm older than I said and I hid the fact I have 2 kids...".
Cltspur:
Yeah the worst red flag I ever got was finding a C-section scar from a woman who said she didn’t have kids. Oh, and she used a fake name. Oh, and she lied about her age by 7 years. Oh, and then she stalked me for 4 months. Fun times…
Kristiina Männiste 4 hours ago
Well.. A c section does not automatically mean a kid.... But its just me being dark. On a lighter note there are lots of medical procedures, that can leave scarring on a lower abdomen. The false name and stalking are red flags tho
#21
Rude to the staff. Instant no.
Wedgerooka:
I bet you'll say something about not returning carts next.
Bonnie Blue Bird 1 hour ago
Also when they judge the other people in the restaurant. People watching is fun but it's not a reason to be rude. Everyone has a story.
#22
Lied about his height which in and of itself wouldn’t have been a huge deal if he’d just been honest. Proceeded to demand a foot massage because he’d been working (so had I and this is the first time we’ve met, bro), had me pay for all of dinner, then proceeded to try to sleep with me after I explicitly said I would not be doing so.
#23
They asked me if I was “one of them women’s libbers.” Sigh.
#24
The Hinge date who got irrationally angry with me for showing up five minutes late. I had texted him to let him know there was a delay on the Metro. Later in the date, he volunteered that he had anger issues and had punched a hole in his wall because he was angry with the noise his neighbors were making.
NOPE. Bye!
Happy postscript to that terrible story - five months later, I had given up on dating and was focusing on my hobbies and interests. I joined a writers group that was meeting in the cafe next to the restaurant where that terrible date happened. Several new people also joined the writers group that night - including my future husband.
#25
Met a guy at a pizza place. His friends were there too (I didn't know they were going to be there) which was weird, but they sat at another table. They proceeded to eat leftover pizza from empty tables. I learned they were all there together because they were on a day pass from a halfway house and got dropped off in a van. 😳.
#26
Kept having to reiterate what an amazing dad he was (ever few sentences) and then bragged how he and his son (just turned 2) watch movies till 2am at night and eat junk food. And how crazy his wife was for calling him a poor father. I paid for my bill and told him I wasn’t interested and good luck. He blocked me while walking to his car and sped away giving me angry glares.
#27
Sucking water and hold it in the straw then bring it out of the cup, aim it directly at me and blow it straight at me at the restaurant. This was the first date and last.
#28
1. One guy sat down at the table (i was already there) and asked why I was wearing jeans if he told me he likes girls to wear skirts/dresses.
2. Same guy suggested I lose 10 lbs if being in a bathing suit in public with ppl know don't know well made me uncomfortable.
There was no 2nd date with him.
1. (We were teens at the time) guy explained to me how he gets away with shoplifting.
There wasn't a second date with him either.
#29
She got super drunk and put it on a tab for me, got furious, tried to punch me, fell down some stairs then was so confused told the police I might have pushed her. Fun night in police custody while we got the CCTV, not the best first date ever tbh.
#30
Pressured me to leave the bar and go home with him then slammed his drink down/got very angry/stormed out when I said "I'm good staying here". He seemed normal before that but clearly was NOT normal. Anyone who has a problem with your boundaries/limits is a huge red flag.
#31
Do NOT bring your kid to the date!
I met someone online and his profile mentioned “no kids” and he never brought up the kid the entire time we talked (2 weeks). Had our first date and as I’m walking up to the door, he calls me and says “you look pretty! I’ll be right there, I had to change my son in the car.”
Absolutely NOT! Ran to my car, drove off, and blocked him. It’s not fair to interview someone to be step mom when they had no idea it was an interview. And how disrespectful to the bio mom! Just ultimate red flag to me.
#32
This guy literally said to my face at dinner, “by the end of this date you’ll want to come home with me.” So arrogant. Biggest turn off ever 🚩🚩🚩🙄.
#33
I had a great first date with a guy several years ago. We met at a pub about five minutes from my apartment. I did not want a stranger knowing exactly where I lived. Wonderful first date, maybe the best ever. We say our goodbyes then I leave for my five minute drive home. By the time I walked in the door, this guy had called me 82 times, left several voicemail, and text messages. I was in utter shock. Needless to say, definitely no second date!
#34
1) Trauma dumping
2) The "if you don't mind can I ask you a question?"
Because in my experience 90% of the time, the question is inappropriate or too heavy for a first date question.
#35
Went on a date to the park because the guy had a kid. The child and I fell in love instantly but the guy was pouting and clearly pissed his son and I were enjoying each others company.
W1ldy0uth:
Introducing your kid to your date on a first date seems pretty irresponsible though.
cupholdery:
He's still single for a reason.
Crystalwitch60 1 hour ago
NEVER BUT NEVER introduce your kids to potential partners on a first date or even the tenth! not fair in the poor kids what so ever , a revolving door of people , my kids have never had to go thru that as I’ve stayed happily single since my divorce 14 yrs ago this month , n how it’s staying ,
#36
She kept asking me if she was the prettiest girl I’ve met up with, and she wasn’t.
reflect-the-sun:
It's also a power move on her part.
She wanted to control the dynamic.
#37
A couple of weeks ago, I went for drinks with a girl who spent half of the time looking at her phone and even took a call during the date. Needless to say I am not going out with her again lol.
#38
Picked up at her house to go to a bar. On the way to the bar, in the car, she drank an entire bottle of wine by herself.
#39
She told me her father was In the special forces and if I "hurt" her he would end me.
To be clear, this was in the middle of the restaurant, we had been there maybe 15 minutes and it was a random interjection out of nowhere that had nothing to do with the, up until that point, very pleasant and polite conversation we were having about surfing, windsurfing and other watersports.
The second red flag was back at her place and she had a collection of dozens of knives that she said she kept for intruders, and had a pet tarantula and snake, which she also threatened me with.
#41
Showed up drunk.. I ended the date immediately.. then block and deleted..
#42
I ended up matching on tinder with an old friend’s sister who I had never actually met. Date was going pretty well and we were kind of vibing until she told me:
“I used to do coke a lot but now I only do it occasionally. Like 3 or 4 times a month.”
Soooo…every weekend?
#43
He said he was a lawyer. I aked what kind and he said "the bad kind".
#44
As a white guy with mixed raced family members I never knew how racist gay guys could be. When I started dating they would just make the weirdest offhanded racist remarks unknowing of my family members. That to me is a huge red flag.
datkittaykat:
This is interesting, I don’t see this dynamic talked about as much.
I’m a straight white woman with a mixed race family as well, and sometimes people come out of left field with comments and I’m just like ???
Sometimes if I talk about race in certain ways they look at me funny and will be like yeah but you’re white and I’m like… my family experience never was so why wouldn’t I talk about this? Idk people are just kind of dumb
Farah (she/her) 7 hours ago
its the same with aboriginal kids who are white. The amount of s******g on them and bad mouthing about aboriginal and torres strait islander people infront of "seemingly white" people before they realise...
#46
Realizing I was paying, she ordered two appies, an entree, 2 desserts, and 4 cocktails, finished every last bite then said she needed to go home because she wasn't feeling well.
#47
She told me a story about how she stalked a married paramedic after she was helped by him after she had a car accident. I finished the date early, blocked her on anything, and made sure I didn't give personal detailed during the remainder of the date. As a due who had been stalked too many times, I was not having anything to do with that level of crazy.
Farah (she/her) 7 hours ago
"As a due who had been stalked too many times" omg I hope that isnt happening now
#49
She revealed 1/2 way through dinner that her parents were sitting right next to us listening to our entire conversation. Lucky I'm a gentleman and always down for crazy moments. She revealed her parents after agreeing to go to a bar after dinner. We all went to the bar where I offered to buy everyone a drink. That all declined...so I bought one myself and drank it while chatting. I just sat there as the only one in our group drinking a beer. Dad rode a motorcycle with some motorcycle group leather jacket that had the words "no honoi jane". I later found out that he was criticizing jane fonda for things she did during our Vietnam invasion.
They were all recent transplants from Virginia. Makes me think many people in Virginia might have some issues and they may raise their daughters to be totally dependent. Regardless, I found it entertaining since I wasn't really into her anyway.
#50
“I still live with my soon-to-be ex husband”.
Bonnie Blue Bird 56 minutes ago
This does happen. It may be a red flag or it may be they person being upfront and honest. There might be a plan in place.
#51
He kept pressuring me to get one more drink when I want even finished with my first one. I said no like 3 times and eventually gave in and just let it sit there.
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