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Woman Ends 20-Year Friendship After Best Friend Crosses A Line, His Next Move Forces Her To Call The Cops
When your best friend gets engaged, it’s usually a reason to celebrate. After all, you want to see someone you care about find love and build a happy life with their partner. And sharing that excitement with them is part of being a good friend.
But when one Redditor shared her happy news with her male best friend of over 20 years, he had a very different reaction. He suddenly confessed that he’d been in love with her for years and kissed her without her consent. And unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the drama.
RELATED:
The woman was thrilled to get engaged
But instead of celebrating with her, her best friend confessed his love for her and kissed her without her consent
People have been debating whether men and women can really be just friends for years, and the question still sparks plenty of disagreement
Can men and women really be just friends? It’s a question people have been debating for years, and just about everyone seems to have an opinion. Some believe that romantic feelings are bound to develop eventually, while others have maintained perfectly platonic friendships for years. So, what does research actually say about it?
Well, the answer is a little complicated. A 2012 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships looked at friendships between men and women and found that attraction was fairly common. Interestingly, men were more likely than women to report feeling attracted to their female friends, regardless of whether either person was in a relationship.
The researchers also found that people were more likely to see romantic attraction as a downside of these friendships than as a benefit. And that makes sense. Developing feelings for someone who sees you only as a friend can make things awkward, especially if one person starts hoping for something more.
Still, that doesn’t mean men and women can’t have genuine friendships. As psychologist Linda Sapadin argues, the idea that they can’t be friends comes partly from a time when men and women had fewer opportunities to interact outside of romantic relationships. Today, they regularly meet through work and shared interests, and there’s no reason every connection has to turn romantic.
Of course, feelings can change over time. Someone might develop a crush on a friend after knowing them for years. They might also realize those feelings aren’t mutual. There’s nothing particularly unusual about either experience. What matters is how they choose to handle it.
The man in this story could have remained a good friend despite his feelings for her, but his behavior became increasingly alarming when he refused to respect her boundaries
In this case, the woman’s childhood friend could have been disappointed that she was marrying someone else. He could have taken some time away to deal with his feelings and eventually accepted that their relationship would never become romantic. After all, she had moved on from her teenage crush years earlier and was now happily engaged.
Instead, he kissed her without her consent, knowing she was in a committed relationship. And when she made it clear that she wanted nothing more to do with him, he continued contacting her.
According to RAINN, respecting another person’s boundaries is an essential part of consent. Having feelings for someone, regardless of how long you’ve known them, doesn’t give you permission to ignore their wishes.
His behavior became particularly concerning when he repeatedly called and messaged her before showing up at her apartment and refusing to leave. The CDC warns that repeated unwanted contact and showing up at someone’s home can be signs of stalking. Such behavior can leave people genuinely afraid for their safety.
Ultimately, the woman decided to end their friendship and seek legal protection. Losing someone she’d known since childhood was understandably painful, but his refusal to respect her decision had made the friendship impossible to continue. Whatever feelings he had for her, his actions showed little concern for her happiness or well-being.
What do you think about how she handled the situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Readers agreed that what he did was completely wrong and that he wasn’t someone she should keep in her life
The woman later returned with an update, sharing what happened after she decided to end their friendship
Many readers urged her to be careful, as his response was concerning
In another update, she revealed that her former best friend refused to take no for an answer, and things had taken a much more serious turn
Readers wished her the best of luck and hoped she could finally put the whole ordeal behind her
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What do you think ?
Tabitha 3 hours ago (edited)
When OP confessed her crush to him when they were both teenagers, his ego got a boost. Wow, my best friend has a crush on me! Let me string her along and pretend to just be her friend, and maybe she’ll continue to have a crush on me. What an ego boost! Then, when she is truly in love with someone else, and will soon be “out of reach” to him, THAT is when he makes his move. Not back when they were teenagers. It any time in all the years before she met her fiance. But now, at a get together to celebrate her engagement, when she’s tipsy and he’s not, and he manages to get her alone by offering her a ride home, so she’s stuck with him in his car. It’s just pure luck he actually drove her home and it was just a kiss (still a*****t, though,), instead of driving her to some woods or cornfield out in the middle of nowhere, and trying to do even more. Regardless, his mania and the danger it represents is only escalating. He’s stalking her, threatening her, and terrorizing her so much she’s filed for a restraining order against him, and she and her fiance are planning to quietly move away from the address he knows. I sure hope they can manage that, and he never finds her. I had a stalker myself years ago. I know how it feels to always be looking over your shoulder. Hell, I haven’t heard from or seen him in 25 years, but I STILL look over my shoulder. Before the stalking, I felt safe in my life, and could move around freely living it. That disappeared when he started calling me and showing up at my work. Luckily the department I worked at was tucked away in a hard to reach part of the building, and I had the wonderful ladies at the front desk, plus the security guards, making sure he could never get a call through to me, or be able to stay anywhere near the building. His stalking me really pissed them all off, because they liked me, and knew they too could be stalked, or someone they cared about could. Just get TF over it and move on. You didn’t act when you had the chance, and you shot your shot way too late. Chalk it up to experience, and know next time to speak up before it’s too late. Period. FFS.
JellyBean 1 hour ago
OP never said she revealed her crush to him though...?
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 hours ago (edited)
I'm trying to find the Reddit post that the ex-friend apparently made, just so we could all read it for shíts and giggles, but so far I can't find it :(
Tabitha 3 hours ago (edited)
When OP confessed her crush to him when they were both teenagers, his ego got a boost. Wow, my best friend has a crush on me! Let me string her along and pretend to just be her friend, and maybe she’ll continue to have a crush on me. What an ego boost! Then, when she is truly in love with someone else, and will soon be “out of reach” to him, THAT is when he makes his move. Not back when they were teenagers. It any time in all the years before she met her fiance. But now, at a get together to celebrate her engagement, when she’s tipsy and he’s not, and he manages to get her alone by offering her a ride home, so she’s stuck with him in his car. It’s just pure luck he actually drove her home and it was just a kiss (still a*****t, though,), instead of driving her to some woods or cornfield out in the middle of nowhere, and trying to do even more. Regardless, his mania and the danger it represents is only escalating. He’s stalking her, threatening her, and terrorizing her so much she’s filed for a restraining order against him, and she and her fiance are planning to quietly move away from the address he knows. I sure hope they can manage that, and he never finds her. I had a stalker myself years ago. I know how it feels to always be looking over your shoulder. Hell, I haven’t heard from or seen him in 25 years, but I STILL look over my shoulder. Before the stalking, I felt safe in my life, and could move around freely living it. That disappeared when he started calling me and showing up at my work. Luckily the department I worked at was tucked away in a hard to reach part of the building, and I had the wonderful ladies at the front desk, plus the security guards, making sure he could never get a call through to me, or be able to stay anywhere near the building. His stalking me really pissed them all off, because they liked me, and knew they too could be stalked, or someone they cared about could. Just get TF over it and move on. You didn’t act when you had the chance, and you shot your shot way too late. Chalk it up to experience, and know next time to speak up before it’s too late. Period. FFS.
JellyBean 1 hour ago
OP never said she revealed her crush to him though...?
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 hours ago (edited)
I'm trying to find the Reddit post that the ex-friend apparently made, just so we could all read it for shíts and giggles, but so far I can't find it :(
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