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Hypocritical Mom Gets A Taste Of Her Own Medicine When She Plans To Visit Daughter With Her BF
Hypocritical Mom Gets A Taste Of Her Own Medicine When She Plans To Visit Daughter With Her BF
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Hypocritical Mom Gets A Taste Of Her Own Medicine When She Plans To Visit Daughter With Her BF

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Visiting your parents’ house and staying in your childhood bedroom can be an incredibly nostalgic experience. It might feel like being transported back in time if the decorations and bedding haven’t changed since you were in high school. But being hit with this blast from the past can be confusing for everyone if you bring your partner home for the holidays. Your parents might still see you as a baby, despite your actual age, and be uncomfortable with the idea of your romantic partner being close by.

Below, you’ll find a story that one woman recently shared on Reddit detailing how she was never allowed to share a room with her boyfriend in her mother’s home. But now that her mom is dating, she’s decided to enforce the same rule in her own home.

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    This woman’s mother never allowed her to share a bedroom with her boyfriend while visiting

    Elderly woman with glasses looking thoughtful, emphasizing respect and relationship boundaries in family settings.

    Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Now, she’s decided to enforce the very same rule in her own home

    Text discussing a woman enforcing household rules for her visiting mother and boyfriend.

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    Text block discussing visiting family and a mother enforcing separate sleeping arrangements for her daughter's boyfriend.

    Text conversation about a woman choosing to book an Airbnb due to her mother's rules.

    Text reading about respecting house rules and not wanting the boyfriend to be alone during holidays.

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    Text discussing a rule about sleeping arrangements with a boyfriend, emphasizing respect for house rules.

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    Text about a mother in a new relationship after her husband's death, discussing living arrangements.

    Text message discussing family tension over mother’s boyfriend, related to respecting house rules.

    Person holding head, appearing stressed, with furrowed brow, highlighting respect for rules in relationships.

    Image credits: Daniel Martinez/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Text excerpt discussing family dynamics and relationship boundaries when visiting.

    Text exchange about a mother wanting to share a room with her boyfriend, but the daughter respects the rules.

    Text expressing frustration about sleeping arrangements and relationship restrictions.

    Text on image discussing rules and family dynamics.

    Image credits: Temporary-Truth-1969

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    Parents should try to lead by example and follow their own rules

    Image credits: Polina Kuzovkova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The idea of your parents dating might make you extremely uncomfortable. And if you have children, you probably don’t want to think about them being romantically involved either. So it’s understandable for moms and dads to be hesitant about their kids, who they will always see as babies, sharing beds with their partners.

    In fact, it’s a relatively common issue that adults complain about online. One woman wrote to Mirror that she wasn’t even allowed to share a bed with her husband in her parents’ home. And a parent reached out to Boomer Magazine seeking advice on whether or not her 20-year-old daughter should be allowed to share a bedroom with her boyfriend.  

    On one hand, these are all consenting adults who undoubtedly share a bed with their partner all the time when Mom and Dad aren’t around. But some parents believe that they should be able to create the rules in their own homes, and if their kids don’t like it, they can stay somewhere else.

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    In the case of this particular story, however, the woman believes that her mother is being hypocritical by refusing to follow her own rule in her daughter’s home. This brings up another common parenting issue: should Mom and Dad be required to follow their own rules, or can they just use the old “do as I say, not as I do”?

    According to Doug and Cathy Fields, authors of Intentional Parenting, it’s important for parents to understand that their kids are always watching and observing their behaviors. And “Because I said so” isn’t going to satisfy them when they ask for an explanation.

    It’s much better to be an example and show your children how to follow the rules that you’ve set than to enforce them and refuse to abide by them yourself. Especially once your kids have grown up, they’re not going to be happy to accept rules that they disagree with without any reasonable explanation.

    Pushing your children away might encourage them to cut off contact altogether

    Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    By creating unnecessary or illogical rules for your children, you might just end up pushing them away. After all, would you rather know that your kids are safe in your own home or send them off to an Airbnb somewhere else?

    There has been an exponential increase in adult children cutting off their parents in recent years, and apparently, Gen Z is leading this rebellion. 

    Dr. Karl Pillemer, author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, has found through his research that 27% of Americans over the age of 18 are estranged from at least one family member. Dr. Pillemer explains that, in each case, there has been a breakdown of relationships in these families, often paired with unsuccessful or aggressive attempts at communication.

    Psychologist Mark Travers at Forbes has also delved into the issue of family estrangement, as it seems to be a hot topic at the moment, and broken down some of the main reasons why adults often choose to go co-contact with their parents. If someone has experienced toxic parenting, is still dealing with unresolved family conflicts or betrayal or has major ideological differences from their parents, they may decide to cut them off.

    This can be an extremely painful and heartbreaking experience for both parents and their children to endure, so it’s much better to focus on repairing relationships while they still have a chance. 

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    We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here.  

    Many readers agreed that the woman had every right to enforce this rule in her own home

    Reddit comments discussing house rules about a mother visiting with her boyfriend.

    Reddit exchange discussing rules and bedroom arrangements during visits, highlighting differing opinions.

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    Reddit comment discussing respect and fairness in family rules.

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    Comment supporting house rules for guest stay arrangements with alternative accommodation suggestion.

    Comment discussing respect for rules, supporting separate sleeping arrangements for an unmarried couple.

    Comment about rules, stating "It is petty but you're being fair. NTA," with 1.1k upvotes.

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    Reddit comment discussing boundaries and fairness in relationships.

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    Forum comment discussing family boundaries and sleeping arrangements.

    Comment discussing respecting house rules and mutual expectations between family members.

    Comment on Reddit about respecting boundaries and setting healthy limits in relationships.

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    Text response discussing respect for rules and setting boundaries with parents visiting.

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    Reddit comment discussing house rules and respecting boundaries with family.

    Comment discussing respect, values, and hypocrisy regarding sleeping arrangements for visitors.

    Comment discussing respect for rules about separate rooms for visiting couples.

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    Text post about respecting rules during a visit, describing a situation involving sleeping arrangements.

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    Reddit comment discussing respecting house rules in relationships.

    Comment supporting mother's separate sleeping arrangements when visiting daughter's home.

    Reddit comment discussing house rules and fairness in sleeping arrangements.

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    Comment about respecting rules, advising refusal of unwed couple sharing a bed.

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    Comment discussing respect for rules about family visits and personal boundaries.

    Comment discussing respecting boundaries and rules, mentioning Airbnb as a solution for visiting mother and her boyfriend.

    Comment screenshot discussing respect and sleeping arrangements, mentioning 'NTA' and 'goddess level unlocked.

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    Comment from user Greyhound89 saying "Oh no, consequences!! Lol" with 15 points.

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    Reddit comment discussing house rules and suggesting alternatives like a hotel or Airbnb for a guest.

    However, some thought that she was being just as petty as her mother

    Reddit discussion about respecting rules, focusing on family dynamics and evolving relationships.

    Reddit comment discussing respect and rules with a critical tone.

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    Reddit comment criticizing a woman's behavior as petty and immature regarding house rules.

    Text conversation discussing guest rules and host behavior, mentioning respect for privacy.

    Comment discussing respecting rules in a relationship context.

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    Reddit comment discussing grudges and respect.

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    Comment discussing respect and maturity regarding separating sleeping arrangements during visits.

    Poll Question

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    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Read less »
    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    What do you think ?
    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Petty, yes. But good. I'd do it too.

    K. LNU
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like this isn't the only incident that mom pulled the my house, my rules game. They don't seem to have a good relationship over all. And I am all about the petty!

    Load More Replies...
    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it petty? yes. I am still totally fine with it. The mother should respect the rules SHE invented

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, it's not petty at all. What it boils down to is 'her house, her rules'. As simple as that. Her mother is a guest and a guest doesn'[t get to set the rules of the house. They abide by them or if they don't want to do that, they do not visit. That the guest is her mother is neither here nor there. Being a mother doesn't mean the normal rules of a somewhat civilised society don't apply to them. If anything, this mother taught her daughter too well and now it backfires. That's all. The YTA's suffer from a degree of irrationality that is quite concerning.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rules for thee, not for me. And of course the YTAs are unhinged af.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. If the mother didn't think a unmarried couple should be sharing a bed then she shouldn't be doing it either. Their ages don't matter.

    Load More Replies...
    Uncommon Boston
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think it is petty. Your rules are identical to hers. How can she expect any different?

    Orange Panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want all of the YTA's to invite their parents to spend the night and be forced to hear them have loud sex.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. FAFO. You're welcome to spend money on a hotel.

    Nimitz
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA people are all ultra-controlling parents who don't like accountability working both ways. Grow the f**k up

    Jon Steensen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a bit petty, but I think your mother needs a lesson about practicing what she preaches... Add to that that it might actually bring a bit of real discomfort to OP (no one wants to listen to others have sex), and I think it is justified.... and being mad at a 22year old because he leaves you to live on his own is just straight up crazy. Everyone should leave the nest at some point, and 22 certainly isn't too early for that. It sounds like the mother is incapable of seeing the flipside of the coin, and care about the needs of anyone but herself.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear god all those prudish YTA trolls how about you grow up . As a mother of a 23-20 yr old eldest lass youngest son from time they where 18 I’ve had no issues them sleeping in same room as their oh lasses f pretty much lives with us I’m divorced have been 13 yrs n staying that way I’m 60 n after a life time of abusive marriages I,ll stay single ty muchly ops mother is a hypocrite big time ! N op is NTA or petty it’s only what her mother said lol so hey ho right back at you lady ! 😂

    Trillian
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just find the idea of not being allowed to share the room unless married so outdated and weird. Here tons of couples live together, share a life and have kids without any plans to marry. But in OPs shoes I would do the same 😈

    Orysha
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate hypocrites such as OP's monster Mom and the YTAs.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gross! The mom sounds horrible and deserves all the pettiness plus.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once heard my parents having sex when I was a kid. I'm still traumatized LOL! When I told my mom about it she said "well how the hell did you think you got here?". I love that woman. :)

    Suzie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another do as I say, not as I do type of parent.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life's a 2-way street. Suck it up.

    Marissa D
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's completely fair. Turnabout is fair play.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Petty includes "trivial" in the meaning. I would say exposing someone's hypocrisy by simply putting a mirror of sorts in front of them is the opposite of petty. Would important be the fitting word? I am sure there is a better one but i aint no words guy!

    Jan Kovář
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never create a rule that you are not willing to follow. It will bite you to your ...

    Woodsie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's petty but justified. Also sounds like mother wild be bonking the boyfriend without any thought about keeping quiet. She moved on quickly, maybe this is part of the problem too.

    ANGEL M
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's take the my house, my rules out the equation. Nobody should be subjected to listening to anybody else banging away no matter they be family or stranger. Its just cringe to expect knowing that others can very very much hear it to expect them to tolerate it.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There they go again! YTA trolls speaking out of turn!! Mom wants to have her cake and eat it too, but daughter can't?? I'd have done the same if my mom came to my place (if she was widowed or divorced) and was like this. No way Jose! I can't do a thing, but you come in and think its ok to do that thing you didn't want me to do?!? Nah, think again!

    Carilyn Beverly
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I seriously don't understand the YTA comments; I can maybe understand handling the situation differently, but as the OP stated in an update, it wasn't just the one time when she was young. The rule remained in place even as she got older. I support the daughter.

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is petty but that’s not a bad thing.

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course it is petty, but it is also warranted.

    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Petty, yes. But good. I'd do it too.

    K. LNU
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like this isn't the only incident that mom pulled the my house, my rules game. They don't seem to have a good relationship over all. And I am all about the petty!

    Load More Replies...
    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it petty? yes. I am still totally fine with it. The mother should respect the rules SHE invented

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, it's not petty at all. What it boils down to is 'her house, her rules'. As simple as that. Her mother is a guest and a guest doesn'[t get to set the rules of the house. They abide by them or if they don't want to do that, they do not visit. That the guest is her mother is neither here nor there. Being a mother doesn't mean the normal rules of a somewhat civilised society don't apply to them. If anything, this mother taught her daughter too well and now it backfires. That's all. The YTA's suffer from a degree of irrationality that is quite concerning.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rules for thee, not for me. And of course the YTAs are unhinged af.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. If the mother didn't think a unmarried couple should be sharing a bed then she shouldn't be doing it either. Their ages don't matter.

    Load More Replies...
    Uncommon Boston
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think it is petty. Your rules are identical to hers. How can she expect any different?

    Orange Panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want all of the YTA's to invite their parents to spend the night and be forced to hear them have loud sex.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. FAFO. You're welcome to spend money on a hotel.

    Nimitz
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA people are all ultra-controlling parents who don't like accountability working both ways. Grow the f**k up

    Jon Steensen
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a bit petty, but I think your mother needs a lesson about practicing what she preaches... Add to that that it might actually bring a bit of real discomfort to OP (no one wants to listen to others have sex), and I think it is justified.... and being mad at a 22year old because he leaves you to live on his own is just straight up crazy. Everyone should leave the nest at some point, and 22 certainly isn't too early for that. It sounds like the mother is incapable of seeing the flipside of the coin, and care about the needs of anyone but herself.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear god all those prudish YTA trolls how about you grow up . As a mother of a 23-20 yr old eldest lass youngest son from time they where 18 I’ve had no issues them sleeping in same room as their oh lasses f pretty much lives with us I’m divorced have been 13 yrs n staying that way I’m 60 n after a life time of abusive marriages I,ll stay single ty muchly ops mother is a hypocrite big time ! N op is NTA or petty it’s only what her mother said lol so hey ho right back at you lady ! 😂

    Trillian
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just find the idea of not being allowed to share the room unless married so outdated and weird. Here tons of couples live together, share a life and have kids without any plans to marry. But in OPs shoes I would do the same 😈

    Orysha
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate hypocrites such as OP's monster Mom and the YTAs.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gross! The mom sounds horrible and deserves all the pettiness plus.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once heard my parents having sex when I was a kid. I'm still traumatized LOL! When I told my mom about it she said "well how the hell did you think you got here?". I love that woman. :)

    Suzie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another do as I say, not as I do type of parent.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life's a 2-way street. Suck it up.

    Marissa D
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's completely fair. Turnabout is fair play.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Petty includes "trivial" in the meaning. I would say exposing someone's hypocrisy by simply putting a mirror of sorts in front of them is the opposite of petty. Would important be the fitting word? I am sure there is a better one but i aint no words guy!

    Jan Kovář
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never create a rule that you are not willing to follow. It will bite you to your ...

    Woodsie
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's petty but justified. Also sounds like mother wild be bonking the boyfriend without any thought about keeping quiet. She moved on quickly, maybe this is part of the problem too.

    ANGEL M
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's take the my house, my rules out the equation. Nobody should be subjected to listening to anybody else banging away no matter they be family or stranger. Its just cringe to expect knowing that others can very very much hear it to expect them to tolerate it.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There they go again! YTA trolls speaking out of turn!! Mom wants to have her cake and eat it too, but daughter can't?? I'd have done the same if my mom came to my place (if she was widowed or divorced) and was like this. No way Jose! I can't do a thing, but you come in and think its ok to do that thing you didn't want me to do?!? Nah, think again!

    Carilyn Beverly
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I seriously don't understand the YTA comments; I can maybe understand handling the situation differently, but as the OP stated in an update, it wasn't just the one time when she was young. The rule remained in place even as she got older. I support the daughter.

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is petty but that’s not a bad thing.

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course it is petty, but it is also warranted.

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