“The Rest Of My Present Was In His Pants”: Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Because Of Gift
Interview
Some people put quite a lot of effort into choosing the best gift for their loved one, as, no matter how big or small, a thoughtful present is likely to be a well-received one.
This redditor wasn’t too happy with what her boyfriend got her for Christmas, though. To make matters worse, his behavior on Christmas day was arguably even worse than the gift itself, which eventually led to the woman ending the relationship.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and she was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find her thoughts in the text below.
Personalized or thoughtful gifts can really make the recipient feel special
Image credits: Lore Schodts / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This redditor wasn’t too happy with the Christmas gift she got from her boyfriend, but his behavior made the day even worse
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sonyachny / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: leungchopan / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: twinsterphoto / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jealous-Cycle-2318
After receiving her gift, the OP felt disrespected and used by her partner
The OP shared with Bored Panda that the thing that upset her the most was feeling disrespected by her partner in the overall sense. “I’m perfectly fine dating someone who makes significantly less money, but he treated me like I deserved the leftovers of his respect, energy, and affection.
“He could have baked a small cake or made a pendant—both within his talents—and I would have been way over the moon,” the redditor said, suggesting that he could have gotten her something affordable yet more personal than the gift she received. She added that even a pajama or an ugly Christmas sweater would have been better, truth be told.
The woman admitted feeling used, too, because her partner could always count on her but couldn’t be bothered to set some time aside to get her something meaningful. “To be honest, the more material gifts or favors—helping in any way—he got from me, the more distant he became. This is why I felt used; it’s like he didn’t need to pursue me anymore.”
The OP told Bored Panda that she didn’t expect the huge response her story received from the online community. “I just came to Reddit to express my aggravation and confusion because I was being gaslighted but I never expected so much support.
“This has made a huge difference,” she said, adding that reading through the comments helped her realize that she should block her ex-boyfriend’s siblings, who have started calling her from unfamiliar numbers.
One of the best ways to ensure the recipient enjoys their gift is focusing it on their personal interests
It’s safe to say that an excellent gift often involves a great deal of consideration. The gift giver might want to think about the receiver’s hobbies, taste (be it food, clothing, music, or else), wishes and feelings, among other things, as taking all of this into account can help choose something they would sincerely enjoy.
It’s important to note that it doesn’t have to be a grand expensive gift for it to be a special one or to bring joy to the person on the receiving end; something useful—like a pair of AirPods, for instance, which the OP got for her boyfriend—can surely do the trick. “Price doesn’t play any impact on how people enjoy something,” celebrity stylist and personal shopper Sam Spector told The Wirecutter when discussing what makes an excellent gift. “It truly is the thought that counts.”
Spector seconded the idea that taking the recipient’s interests into consideration is a good way to go about Christmas presents; but it’s important not to overdo it. “I love following themes. I think that’s a great way to gift-give,” the expert shared, pointing out that a runner, for instance, might enjoy some new gear. (But that doesn’t mean that all gifts from now on should only be focused on their love for running.)
Personal gifts can strengthen people’s relationships
Surveys reveal that a personal gift is something the majority of Americans would choose over an expensive one. A study from 2021 found that 62% of respondents would be happier with something of a high sentimental rather than monetary value, with gifts that are considered heartfelt and personalized topping the list.
According to award-winning author and behavioral ecologist Caitlin O’Connell, personal gifts that symbolize affection and knowledge of others can strengthen people’s relationships. “A gift shows our appreciation in a lasting way, as a reminder that inspires continued connection,” she suggested in Psychology Today.
“The goals of any gift <…> are to be a reminder of our relationships, to express our appreciation to someone by showing that we are thinking about them, and to solidify our commitment to that relationship and its future,” the expert wrote.
After the gift the OP received from her boyfriend and the way he responded to her efforts of creating a festive mood, the woman saw no future in the relationship and decided to end it. Such a decision was seemingly met with support from fellow redditors, who didn’t refrain from sharing their opinions on the boyfriend and the situation in the comments.
Netizens shared their views in the comments, the OP was not the person the majority of them considered a jerk in the situation
He's 38 and still acting like that....no wonder his daughters mother is an ex!
No wonder he's dating a 28 year old. He's the guy that tells you all their exes are crazy and he's going for an 18 year old next
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Thought the same. OP should tell his siblings what he gave her as presents
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If you can't afford a christmas present, then you can still give someone your time, attention, love and respect.
Very corny - One year we were so broke it was not funny - I made booklet of IOU's - foot rubs, favorite meals, automatic win a small argument type of things. 40 yrs later - I saw he had kept it - he did use a few of them
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The rest of his gift was in his pants? So not even a stocking stuffer..
As soon as he got in he was insulting everything she did FOR HIS SAKE! SO glad you dumped him, he doesn't give 1 chit about you!
When he told her his present was in his pants, she should have groped his crotch for a few seconds and said "Hmmm. This present feels like a d**k - only smaller."
Effort is sexy. Most women I know all say the same thing....it isn't the money that makes something special, it's the effort. Would I love a pair of diamond earrings? Yes. Would I love a homemade ornament for the Christmas tree? Also yes. And I would prefer that honestly. Same with dates. Sure a fun cocktail lounge or live music event would be fun but I would prefer a candle lit PB&J picnic in the living room with all my favorite treats. It's so much more memorable and it's all about the thought and effort.
yeah its not about the money spent, its about the lack of thought that went into it, as well as the disrespect over the day. I'd be texting the relatives back and letting them know -exactly- what happened.
Damn. Anyone else want to hunt this guy down and rip his “gift” right away from him? If we could find them, that is. Not like he has any balls to begin with. Disgusting.
"it's the thought that counts" was invented by a woman. Same monetary value but for something that showed at least a bit of consideration and she'd be fine.
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I would've been happier with nothing and my s/o telling me they just can't afford anything. It's xmas, we're adults, who cares about the presents. What matters is if the other person actually takes you into consideration about what they do/don't
She should tell his brother calling her materialistic that he have his brother's gift her. Both of them. If he couldn't afford a gift, so be it. But to give her a $5 wine when she doesn't drink and then offer her his junk like that? I didn't need to read the next line to know exactly what he meant and that she needed to boot his tail to the curb.
No. Best course of action when dealing with white trash is no action at all. Ignore them. They’ll eventually OD or end up in jail.
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Obviously NTA. OP didn't break up with that POS over him not getting her a gift, it's what not getting her a gift (and literally all of his actions that day) represent. Don't keep people in your lives who can't see or understand that.
Honestly that depends on presentation of the gift and wording... its a fine line between trashy and appeasing when it comes to that
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It's not a gift, gentlemen. I know most of you know this, but just in case there's a clueless man out there...it's not a gift.
Immature, selfish, worthless piece of s*** deserves to be single, and his daughter living with his mum full time, just imagine what a toxic pr*** he's going to be on his daughter's life....
For me, insulting my makeup (I don't wear any, BTW) would earn him the silent treatment for the day. Offering me the gift-in-the-pants would get him bounced out of my life permanently. OP handled the situation like the boss she was meant to be. She saved herself from becoming a sugar mama and a side piece. I certainly hope that the jerk's daughter doesn't follow his example.
Materialistic and shallow? I see no indication in what you wrote that you expected him to put himself in the poorhouse. It's not necessary to spend much money on a thoughtful gift when you bother putting some thought into it. And HIS only thoughts are about ridiculing your make-up and your Chrstmas hat, and then spending three hours with others when he should have been with you. There is an income gap, you say? I have a sneaking suspicion this is the real problem - the guy is resentful and feels pettily diminished in his male ego, hence the retaliatory, mean-spirited put-downs. This guy is a nasty SOB, and it looks like his family is no better. They all deserve to be hoofed to the moons of Jupiter.
I Owe You. He'll make it up to her at a later date.
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Op needs to tell the relatives "If you think his c*ck is such a gift, y'all can have it."
On the planet - it's not just isolated to one country. Arseholetypes everywhere!
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You want to know what he could have gifted her without any kind of job or income? "Okay now you sit back watch TV, I'm going to clean for you." Doesn't cost a penny and would have been likley sent her over the roof with appreciation.
Lol his siblings telling OP she is materialistic. As if there's a materialistic who want to date him and use him for money he doesn't have.
To me the belittling comments are worse than the “presents.” I don’t think I would break up with someone over 1 thoughtless gift like crappy wine, but i would certainly break up over the disrespect of making fun of my appearance. If the gift thing was a recurring problem it might bother me but gifts just aren’t really my love language. (P.s. I can’t believe he didn’t just offer her a massage when he realized his gift sucked! Free, could have led to some adult fun, and way classier than his pants nonsense. What an idiot on multiple levels.)
His siblings need to be told straight up - your gift was his d*ck. Let them think about that for a minute. WTF
Do yourself a favor and read what she said. Then read the comments posted here. If you don't come away with a different take than your first reply, I hope for your sake you're a kid
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What's interesting is your lack of reading comprehension.
Load More Replies... He's 38 and still acting like that....no wonder his daughters mother is an ex!
No wonder he's dating a 28 year old. He's the guy that tells you all their exes are crazy and he's going for an 18 year old next
Load More Replies... Thought the same. OP should tell his siblings what he gave her as presents
Load More Replies... If you can't afford a christmas present, then you can still give someone your time, attention, love and respect.
Very corny - One year we were so broke it was not funny - I made booklet of IOU's - foot rubs, favorite meals, automatic win a small argument type of things. 40 yrs later - I saw he had kept it - he did use a few of them
Load More Replies... The rest of his gift was in his pants? So not even a stocking stuffer..
As soon as he got in he was insulting everything she did FOR HIS SAKE! SO glad you dumped him, he doesn't give 1 chit about you!
When he told her his present was in his pants, she should have groped his crotch for a few seconds and said "Hmmm. This present feels like a d**k - only smaller."
Effort is sexy. Most women I know all say the same thing....it isn't the money that makes something special, it's the effort. Would I love a pair of diamond earrings? Yes. Would I love a homemade ornament for the Christmas tree? Also yes. And I would prefer that honestly. Same with dates. Sure a fun cocktail lounge or live music event would be fun but I would prefer a candle lit PB&J picnic in the living room with all my favorite treats. It's so much more memorable and it's all about the thought and effort.
yeah its not about the money spent, its about the lack of thought that went into it, as well as the disrespect over the day. I'd be texting the relatives back and letting them know -exactly- what happened.
Damn. Anyone else want to hunt this guy down and rip his “gift” right away from him? If we could find them, that is. Not like he has any balls to begin with. Disgusting.
"it's the thought that counts" was invented by a woman. Same monetary value but for something that showed at least a bit of consideration and she'd be fine.
Load More Replies... I would've been happier with nothing and my s/o telling me they just can't afford anything. It's xmas, we're adults, who cares about the presents. What matters is if the other person actually takes you into consideration about what they do/don't
She should tell his brother calling her materialistic that he have his brother's gift her. Both of them. If he couldn't afford a gift, so be it. But to give her a $5 wine when she doesn't drink and then offer her his junk like that? I didn't need to read the next line to know exactly what he meant and that she needed to boot his tail to the curb.
No. Best course of action when dealing with white trash is no action at all. Ignore them. They’ll eventually OD or end up in jail.
Load More Replies... Obviously NTA. OP didn't break up with that POS over him not getting her a gift, it's what not getting her a gift (and literally all of his actions that day) represent. Don't keep people in your lives who can't see or understand that.
Honestly that depends on presentation of the gift and wording... its a fine line between trashy and appeasing when it comes to that
Load More Replies... It's not a gift, gentlemen. I know most of you know this, but just in case there's a clueless man out there...it's not a gift.
Immature, selfish, worthless piece of s*** deserves to be single, and his daughter living with his mum full time, just imagine what a toxic pr*** he's going to be on his daughter's life....
For me, insulting my makeup (I don't wear any, BTW) would earn him the silent treatment for the day. Offering me the gift-in-the-pants would get him bounced out of my life permanently. OP handled the situation like the boss she was meant to be. She saved herself from becoming a sugar mama and a side piece. I certainly hope that the jerk's daughter doesn't follow his example.
Materialistic and shallow? I see no indication in what you wrote that you expected him to put himself in the poorhouse. It's not necessary to spend much money on a thoughtful gift when you bother putting some thought into it. And HIS only thoughts are about ridiculing your make-up and your Chrstmas hat, and then spending three hours with others when he should have been with you. There is an income gap, you say? I have a sneaking suspicion this is the real problem - the guy is resentful and feels pettily diminished in his male ego, hence the retaliatory, mean-spirited put-downs. This guy is a nasty SOB, and it looks like his family is no better. They all deserve to be hoofed to the moons of Jupiter.
I Owe You. He'll make it up to her at a later date.
Load More Replies... Op needs to tell the relatives "If you think his c*ck is such a gift, y'all can have it."
On the planet - it's not just isolated to one country. Arseholetypes everywhere!
Load More Replies... You want to know what he could have gifted her without any kind of job or income? "Okay now you sit back watch TV, I'm going to clean for you." Doesn't cost a penny and would have been likley sent her over the roof with appreciation.
Lol his siblings telling OP she is materialistic. As if there's a materialistic who want to date him and use him for money he doesn't have.
To me the belittling comments are worse than the “presents.” I don’t think I would break up with someone over 1 thoughtless gift like crappy wine, but i would certainly break up over the disrespect of making fun of my appearance. If the gift thing was a recurring problem it might bother me but gifts just aren’t really my love language. (P.s. I can’t believe he didn’t just offer her a massage when he realized his gift sucked! Free, could have led to some adult fun, and way classier than his pants nonsense. What an idiot on multiple levels.)
His siblings need to be told straight up - your gift was his d*ck. Let them think about that for a minute. WTF
Do yourself a favor and read what she said. Then read the comments posted here. If you don't come away with a different take than your first reply, I hope for your sake you're a kid
Load More Replies... What's interesting is your lack of reading comprehension.
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