40 “Awesome Things But Absolutely Useless”

"I bought some dehydrated water, but didn't know what to add" (Steven Wright)

I see no golf balls

We're on a road to nowhere

it’s not working bc they are muggles, duh!

this makes sense to me (i have no kids)

About as useful as blinker fluid

Brain not in use

I can imagine someone accidentally cutting their mouth with that

Oooh but I love the feel and sound of a typewriter so although useless I still want lol

If Goop's peak revenue was $18M in 2022. I can also believe slapping the word diet on water will sell millions of bottles

It's a 2-way mirror and the inside coating peeled off where they've put the sign.

Not gonna lie, a neck like that would look really cool.

i Actually kind of like this. Not totally useless.

Tell me... Who is going to see the sparkly poops?

If somebody showed me this as their new “pet” I’d show em my new pet too, a piece of paper

Because finding the keyhole isn't enough of a challange when it's 1am and your drunk

maybe it stops rain?

Ugly and useless in fashion equals a hefty price tag...

Balcony 9 and 3 quarters

And the filling is a must for meat lovers

Breaking the law, breaking the law! 🎶🎵 🎸 🐹

Lost remotes in my house are always under my dog!

YouTube is introducing new product, offline YouTube. Only £5 a month, get it now!

i need it in pink

Not just useless, could be positively harmful!

I own one of these, my kid loves it and feels like a big boy for cutting his own hotdogs. Not useless at all

I think that's actually really clever. Want to use chopsticks? Fine, use the ends. Need a spoon? Use the other end.

It's not exactly Hammer time!

I mean it looks silly, but probably gets the job done.

I had one of these. There was a cover you put over the blade you weren't using that double as a handle. Very practical. I lost it in a move and still keep an eye out to see if I can find one.

No wonder the oceans are full of plastic waste... Who produces this bullshitt? And is there anyone of sane mind buying things like these?

Yes

... or zeros.

Yubari King Melons cost up to $45,000. I'd have an armed escort from the supermarket as well

That's the entrance to the next backrooms level.

Environmentally friendly watering can. Reuse your water instead of pouring it away.

Why am I suddenly craving, liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti

I would put a succulent in there

That’s what she said.

Why can't you just use normal cones??

The rest of the fence has already gone down the cliffs.

Breaking your neck in 3, 2, 1...

Kid's won't get upset if they lose to another🤣

i choose NO

Well, some mornings I reckon I'd happily wear one of them and stick about 45psi in it to straighten-out the kinks.

Can we call the majority of this list what it really is? Dystopian level mindless consumerism.

I would use it to scoop up sand

Hey, where’s my mouse?

I had one of these. They are useless.

No. This would be a very unlucky goldfish: "moving the tank or the fish can cause great upheaval. It can even lead to injuries and stress-related sicknesses among your fish."

Have a take good care of you day

Useful for parties when you have a plate of food in one hand and a fork in the other.

Not everyone has two functional hands. This is an old picture of an occupational therapy device for stroke victims.

Perhaps having the handrails there is useful - any wheelchair users care to enlighten us?

This is how they mostly package bay leaves. Cheaper for them to use the containers that they use for their spices than to make special ones just for bay leaves. I buy these all the time and I have never seen them in a bottle without holes. Except at Asian markets, some come in plastic bags.