Hey Pandas, AITA For Exposing Him After He Refused To Talk Things Through?

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So I (M16) really liked a kinda close friend (M17). I had another friend who also liked him, so I didn’t ask him out for a while. When I finally did, I poured my heart out and told him in detail how I felt and how scared I was to tell him since he was so much older (nearly 2 years). He politely said no, which hurt, but I could accept.

He promised to still be friends and said we should hang out more anyway

Image credits: Aedrian Salazar (not the actual photo)

I was happy that we could still be friends, but when it came time to see him again, he never showed up. He stopped answering my calls and left me on read for weeks on end, as I was already falling apart. He finally agreed that we should talk about how we move forward, and we set a day to meet. I waited for a while before realizing yet again he wasn’t going to show up. He later told me he had something he had to go to (that he had known about in advance) and didn’t think to mention it. I told him we should still talk, and we agreed to meet the next day. 

This time, he actually showed up, and since it was just the two of us, it was really awkward. I asked him if, rather than sitting in silence, we could walk the halls and talk about how to rebuild what we had.

He flat out refused to get up or talk and started playing video games on his phone instead

Image credits: Mike van den Bos (not the actual photo)

I was obviously still heartbroken and angry with how immaturely he was treating this. He still tried waving in the hallways from time to time, but never spoke to me or answered my texts when I tried to reach out.

I finally had enough and told a close group of friends (including some who knew him personally) what he had done and showed them the texts between us to prove it

Image credits: Eliott Reyna (not the actual photo)

I’m kinda feeling bad about shaming him and trying to make him feel bad, but I don’t know if I went too far.

AITA for telling our mutual friends what he did after he ghosted me and treated me like I didn’t matter?

Expert’s Advice

• Respect your boundaries.
  If someone promises friendship but consistently ghosts you, take it as a sign. You deserve mutual respect and consistency in any relationship.
• Don’t chase closure that isn’t coming.
  If they avoid real conversations or dismiss your feelings, stop pushing. You can’t rebuild a connection alone.
• Be mindful when sharing private details.
  It’s okay to vent, but think twice before involving others or sharing screenshots. Focus on support, not revenge.
• Process before reacting.
  Give yourself space to calm down before taking actions you might regret later. Your peace matters more than proving a point.
• Know when to walk away.
  If someone repeatedly shows they don’t care, believe them. Protect your energy and invest in people who value it.

Moderator’s note:

Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.

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