Aita

Twelve years ago, I met my current fiancé, Tim. Since Tim lived 5 states away, our first times together was not until 2 months after we met, then again 5 months after that. It was mostly talking every day.

At the time I was platonically involved with a much older man. We were never dating or BF/GF, although we acted like it. You might say we were both filling each other's voids at the time. We did engage in sexting and but never actual sex. We did attempt intimacy twice, but age, two hernias, and booze prevented functionality. The two physical attempts were BEFORE I met Tim.

Long story short, Tim learned about this other man. I felt horrible, confessed, apologized, and asked for forgiveness. I stopped the behavior and friendship with the other man. Over the years Tim has brought this up to me and has made me re-live this, apologize, and discuss over and over. To the point I told him I didn't deserve this and didn't want it in my future. There was nothing left to discuss, it had all been said at least 50X. He does not believe me and thinks I was having sex with this man during the beginning of our relationship, but we were able to move on.

After 6 year we got engaged. Fast forward to present.

I found pictures in his cell of him having sex in a hotel room with "Erica". Not one random time, but dozens.

I called him out and he is actually blaming me for his behavior. First, he is denying its him or he has done anything wrong, then he says it's because I hurt him so badly in the beginning. What he is/was doing is 1000% worse than anything I did or did not do.

I am devasted and know I should break up, but the life we planned and wanted is so difficult to let go of.

AITA if I stay? Can couples truly get passed these issues? I need strength!