Woman’s Social Experiment Reveals How Men React When Women Accept Their Compliments
Just recently, author, social worker, and activist Feminista Jones tweeted the most brilliant way to piss off men, and it’s genius.
Jones realized that every time a man compliments her and she replies with a simple, straight-faced ‘thanks’ rather than a squeaky ‘thank-you’, men get upset. Simply accepting their compliments is something they don’t expect and it pisses them off (not all men, of course). “It’s the idea that they bestow the compliment on you, and you’re not supposed to be aware of it,” Jones told Buzzfeed. “Generally we’re taught that we’re not supposed to compliment ourselves. When a woman does that, she needs to be humble.” Jones’ tweets have gone viral since with tons of women sharing their own experiences. Keep on scrolling to check them out!
More info: Twitter
Meet author, social worker, and activist Feminista Jones
She just pointed out the most brilliant way to piss off men and started a new social experiment
She backed up her experiment by telling her own stories
Now women everywhere are sharing their own experiences
Have you ever experienced something similar? Let us know in the comment section below!
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Share on FacebookAs a man: The responses of the guys is disgusting. But then again I think she picked out the bad answers and left out the normal ones.
Also I wonder what the answers / reactions would be if they swapped roles.
Load More Replies...The responses are so weird... Usually when I agree with someone (like "you're smart - I know :)"), it starts the conversation, no one get aggressive. Maybe choose better friends/dates.
Agreed. I'd love to know who these men are, relative to Jones. I think they may be total strangers, not her friends/dates.
Load More Replies...Ugh the comments here lool. Well I did it all my life, whenever someone comments with "You're smart huh?" I say "Well yes, otherwise you wouldn't talk to me, would you?" I simply question their intelligence :) It's different when it comes to looks though. Men who are afraid of woman that recognize their beauty aren't interesting to me anyway. So when a guy tells me "Your hair/face/legs/eyes/whatever is/are pretty" I usually reply with "Thanks" ... usually you get three different reactions .. 1) almost none 2) wow you're narcissistic/cocky/full of yourself OR 3) Wow finally a woman that does't have confidence issues. And the last guy is the only interesting one, at least to me ( I don't generalize) because he can deal with a personality that doesn't need to be fake-humble or fishes for compliments with "Oh I'm so fat/ugly/whatever" just for people to say "NOOO you're not". My 2 cents about that :)
I have gotten a fourth reaction, laughter. They think I'm being pretty funny when I answer like that and that usually starts a conversation. I think her answers are hilarious. Of cousrse she likes her own hair!
Load More Replies...I typically compliment them back. I had a man at the gas station tell me I was an "exceptional woman who looked very happy" and I responded "Hey, thanks. You are really good at compliments." He told me his name, I told him mine, we shook hands and away he went. When a man compliments me on my outfit I usually commend him for his excellent taste. If he compliments me on a particular body part (my bum usually) I say something funny like "Thanks for noticing all the time spent on those squats and lunges!" If they are crude then I usually just pretend I don't speak English.
THIS Is A Comment I Can Agree With .... This Sounds More Like The Reality I Live In....
Load More Replies...Meanwhile, in Korea, regardless of gender and the kind of compliment, it is considered good manners to deny the compliment and act humble. But a "thanks" won't be so bad either.
This is a major part of the problem in society today. She started this conversation with "P**s a man off today" and the problem is how men respond to bold confidence? The real problem is the forced gender divide. Why try to p**s anyone off? How about we try to make someone's day a little brighter? Who cares if some young buck with too much testosterone and not enough common sense can't handle a confident woman? He'll grow up and get over it, or he won't. Either way, you know what you are, who you are, and what you are capable of and that is all that matters.
She pissed these men off by thanking them and being confident. Says a lot about the insecure dipshits who were bothered by it.
Load More Replies...On the other hand...if I told a guy he looked nice and he replied with "I know" or "thanks, don't I" . I'd think he was conceited. If I was on a date and I said to his guy "You have a nice body, you're in great shape" and he replied with "I like it too". I'd be all...wtf...this guy...wow! I'd think he either was on drugs or had a social disorder. I'd still be talking about that years later to my friends.
If you're so obnoxious that you'd actually say those things to people you don't know well, you deserve a verbal slap for it. What's rude is the initial comment.
Load More Replies...It is interesting to see Boredpanda advocate against Gender stereotyping by only posting women in mens jobs and not the other way arround and then posting articles like these again putting women in a positive position and men in a negative one. Also claiming ALL men do this. Makes me wonder if Boredpanda is ruled by angry sour women. And if they really seriously want to promote peace harmony and equality. You could also post about men giving positive comments instead of negative ones. to promote equality in a positive way. But I'm sure in all your search for negativity you found(Decided not to show) none. *Waits for downvoters for being critical*
Umm...well, why don't you start it then? The 'Add Post' button is just at the top right corner. :)
Load More Replies...guy: you are beautiful! me: thanks! I know :) guy: oh? You know?? *laugh* me: yes, I know, I have a mirror *guy just laughed, as he didn't know what else to say. Am I not allowed to like how I look or what? Anyway, what other reaction than "thank you" does people expect?
In my experience that's exactly what people expect, just "thank you." Not "thank you, I know." You are allowed to like how you look, but for some reason people don't like to hear about it. They find modesty attractive, regardless of gender.
Load More Replies...Wow. Those people.. are just bunch of idiots if you ask me, why can't she like her hair, or answer like that? What's up with that? I thought is sounded like a normal answer. Not like a cocky answer or anything.
Maybe it's because, regardless of your gender, when someone compliments you, you should just accept it with a thank you. saying things like "I know" just make you sound arrogant and like you have no appreciation for the fact someone was trying to be nice to you and give you a compliment.
Trying to point out the hypocrisy is feminism. Going "p**s off a man today" is not, it's being an a*s.
LOL!! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!! Do you really think that a man would not be considered, at the VERY least arrogant if he gave this response to a woman who complimented him? I think you ladies may be setting something of a dangerous standard if you really desire to be regarded as a "Good human being" as apposed to a sexually d emasculating twit.. You are the definition of sexist.
I think this is obnoxious, I mean sure if a guy gives a rude compliment go for it. But Generally when people regardless of gender give you a nice compliment it's kind of rude and condescending to say 'yeah I know' or things like that. Like the other day I had a male grocery store employee compliment my shoes and I said thank you and gave a little smile because it was a nice thing to say. Why would I go out of my way to be unpleasant to them about it?
Personally I love women with confidence. Idk about anyone else but I find it so sexy when they know they look good!! <3
The reactions seem both weird and strange. But imo it has nothing to do with genders and compliments... the common and polite social manner for all is to answer a phrase of interest from someone with a minimum interest to him/her: I don't think you would answer a "How are you today?" with a "I'm feeling great and I know it!", you would answer smthng like "I'm great, thanks, and how are you?". So maybe the lack of politeness/return-of-interest is what triggers the stupid reactions, not the acceptance/no-humbleness... and has nothing to do with men vs women.
This is a great idea! From now on, when someone says "How are you?" I will say "I am fabulous and I know it!!!" :)
Load More Replies...So her goal is to make men angry. Am I the only one who considers this mean spirited? I'm sure it wouldn't be thought so cute if the roles were reversed.
My dad told me once looked beautiful , I said thanks and smiled as it wasn't something he'd ever said it to me before, to which he replied don't go getting a fat head .
I have Asperger's. When I was a kid in the country, I had very short hair, went shirtless in the summer, and had 90% of my elementary classmates convinced I was the boy named Sue. I only ever got compliments about my athletic skills (thanks to my older brother) or my brains. I used the scripted response my tv/theater actor/director father taught me, "Yeah, Thanks!" After I did the ugly duckling transformation I kept using the same line, now married for 28 years.
For some men, complimenting a woman is a way to find out if she's insecure and establish a power advantage. Any sense of equality scares them off because they are insecure.
You are a stupid "feminist", don't worry many more "feminist" act like you. You disgrace the title Feminist. Your making all men sound like aggressive animals.
There are 2 kinds of women. 1: Strong smart independant women who get things done and acomplisch great things and when asked or when the situation arises that needs conversations about equality they will speak up. (Which I think is a good thing) These women if you ask me are THE best women to change and show the world how awesome they ALSO are and change the world/views. And then you have the second kind of women. 2: Women who make it their nr 1 priority to avoid any responsibility/initiative to create their own succes and blame their every failure to anyone and anything but themselves. They grab every opportunity even if it's not even the time and place to turn a conversation about how women are oppressed and have less rights and are offended. That does NOT help. They ruin the image of all women and constantly blaming others is a sign of weak character for men and women alike even though you are at a disadvantage.
Load More Replies...I've always been in the habit of saying "thank you" when receiving a compliment, and I've never had a negative response to it.
This is very interesting but my inner scepticist asks immediately: how do you know it's a man-woman thing and not a general attitude towards compliments? Maybe it proves that we often confuse confidence with arrogance as a society. Is it really SIGNIFICANTLY different when it's two girls or two guys, or girl is the one who says the compliment?
(not all me of course) is that the get out clause to cover your bigotry? Kinda like 'not all play people of course'. I'm so tired of being blamed by feminists for crimes I didn't commit because I was born whit a penis. Isn't it time we started judging people as individuals rather than by race/religion/gender?
I had a very pretty face when I was young and I am aging really well. I have been told I was pretty or beautiful my whole life and I myself liked what I saw in the mirror (I totally understood it was just good luck). I am smart, rational, creative and particularly low maintenance. I always understood that beauty and youth don't last and was careful to enjoy it while not being attached to it. Guys don't get mad at me for my acknowledgement of my physical beauty but they do get mad at me for not falling in love with them telling me about it. They get mad at me for not being lonely, and grateful for declarations of love. IMG_5910-5...32cd5c.jpg
So many cherries picked to carefully craft this narrative. Feminista indeed.
I need something more to this.... like a come-back that will send him packing when he gets offended... Coz i've tried this, works well... then turns nasty... and i just don't wanna have to deal with THAT.
If a stranger ever tells you that you need to hit the gym more often, I think you would be justified in telling them to f**k off and mind their own business.
Load More Replies...I had this guy block my way twice in his car, then when I finally had to stop he rolled down his window and told me he just had to tell me I was attractive. I just stared at him, and he was literally taken aback when I didn’t instantly gush and say thank you. He was too stupid to notice that I didn’t appreciate being stalked, so then he asked for my number. Told him no, and then walked around his car to get away. If you say thank you, there is 50/50 chance it could go either way. If he is not prepared for either response he should keep his mouth shut. It’s telling that the people who are most upset didn’t consider that she may have gotten the responses first then concluded that in responding in such a way, ticks off men.
This really doesn't happen. I would be happy if I gave a compliment and they agreed. Why in the hell would that offend someone?
I literally have never seen this. And I don't get why this would be an issue if someone were to accept my compliment. I would be very positive about it.
This is 'normie' society to a T. They just want any excuse to be d***s to each other. It's really common in the goth community when complimented to say something along the lines of "thanks I like it too." or at least something in some way that imples that the person being complimented is aware of what they are being complimented on and is proud of it. There's nothing wrong with liking your good attributes and saying so when somebody compliments it! And people sterotypically think goths are bad people....
the frame of mind here is astonishing. Do you not see how this makes you look like the biggest b***h in the world. You are so vein and self centered that you think every compliment is a cat call. that every compliment was intended to bother you rather than be a nice gesture. you are whats wrong with this world. most of these lack of responses are men being surprised about how f*****g conceded you are. I seriously hope no one ever says anything nice to you again.
It’s not only with women … and not only with men … 30 years ago I was in a seminar with a “psycho shaman” where one of the assignments was to react to compliments exactly this way, e.g. by saying, “thanks, I know” :-D Most people are p!ssed off by this because we were all taught that this is “immodest” and “boasting”, etc., while it actually simply is knowing—and appreciating—one’s abilities and positive features.
I am extremely feminist and there are a lot of legitimate issues with sexism out there, but this is total baloney. This is a matter of manners, not sexism. It is simply common courtesy to accept a compliment from a man OR a woman with a sincere, simple "thank you" and not talk about how you agree with them, which is considered arrogant. I have never had a man react negatively to a nice thank you. But I totally understand their reactions to her obnoxious responses.
Obviously if their compliment is way out of line then yea, the "I know" response is great. LOL
Load More Replies...I love honesty, I apologise for my gender reacting this way. I'd love it if people responded to compliments like this x
Maybe we should all be humble instead of bragging about how smart or good looking we are.
I don't know about other guys, I only compliment people when I genuinely feel that way and it strikes me as odd that 'thank you' could be offensive. Personally, when someone says thank you I take that as a success and I just smile happily. I don't get the boys of today, but then again, I guess I don't mingle with the loathsome sort either.
Actually yeah. When I clicked this I was really interested but when I saw the example I realized, yeah, it comes off as pretentious and I really don't think it's gender based. Imagine if you complimented my eyes and I said "I know." Wow, full of himself much?
Every time a guy gives me a compliment, always say tnxs n they accept it, haven't come across a guy who hasn't accepted my answer.
I've got to be honest, I RARELY get this response from men. They mostly giggle or compliment me again by calling me confident. Or they'll snap their fingers in a silly way and say something corny like, "Go girl." Guys are usually pretty easy going either way.
The experiment would have been better if she just would have said thank you. But saying that u know or that you agree would offend anyone no matter what sex. It comes across as conceded or arrogant. I suggest a do-over
The Auther doenst understand how compliments work, thats the Problem. Witch doesn't make the reactions any better by the way. If you recive a compliment you acknolage its recival and the joy your feeling by getting it, the other tells you that he noticed something positive that he likes about you. THats why the normal Form to answer is Thank you. You thank for the compliment and the acknoledgment of the other person, Not for the stated fact. If you now also tell them that you are aware of that fact and that it is positive it means you are opening up a different issue. The other person doesn't asume that you didn't know that, its not ment as some kind of self esteem boost, it means the other one has noticed your efforts or given gifts. Telling him that you know and that you are aware means you tell him that the attention he was paying was unnecessary or even kind of unwelcomed. Works for men and women and the other way round too, telling the other that hes not right in his assesment.
Lots of sweeping generalizations in this article and the comments. Politeness is the lubricant of a civilized society. It's a pity that so many are unable to accept a compliment with grace and dignity. It can be done with confidence yet without coming off as arrogant...and that goes for both sexes. It's also a pity that some feel the need to turn a compliment into a personal challenge or a battle of the sexes.
But, if someone calls me a b***h, ugly, or emo, I say thanks, they're speechless, and hope someone will say something. I just stand there, cause I'm not gonna be the one to break the awkward silence that they brought on themselves. It's often hard not to laugh, because this often happens at my school (7th grade), since I don't fit in with here code of quite girl, looks slightly diff. than everyone else, or the alternative, (sorry this isn't racist it's an accurate statement that applies to most of this group of people, only referring to the ones in MY school, and only my school.) Dem white girls, twigs, skinnier than a skeleton, tee shirt, leggings, and oversized UGG 's. So I can't help but get a laugh out of there bewildered face.
1. I'd like to see a quantitative study. It would be a very interesting social experiment if there was actual data collection and analyzation of a sample of say... how many times out of every 20 does a man have a bad reaction, or try to take back the compliment. 2. I would definitely think a dude was super cocky if the roles were reversed here... imagine "Wow, you've got nice arms (abs, hair, eyes, whatever)" and then "Thanks, I know."
in fact, many guys get insecure, or irritated whether the one who is agree with thier compliment is a male or a female xd
Well some of answers these ladies gave back were just plain rude. One should always be gracious when complimented. That is just good manners. A simple thank you is all that is required. This "I know I am pretty" sounds so pretentious and stuck up. I would never compliment this person again if I got answers like these.
I love her whole look! Her skin looks flawless, and she just looks so... healthy and happy! :)
Moral of the story: If you're a woman with self-confidence you will p**s off a lot of men.
I've done this to a few guys before when I didn't want to talk to them. They would say I was cute and I responded with a "I know." No one got mad some just said "Really?" followed with a smiley or an lol. Or just a "I'm glad you do." it seems to slow down the conversation and make things a little awkward but I wouldn't say I've seen anyone get upset. I think part of it is that for anyone to say that it makes you look self obsessed. I think it's weird to see some feminist say that a woman isn't getting equal treatment if the world can view her as attractive but she can't view herself that way. I kind of get what they're saying but, there's a difference between having self confidence and being egotistical. Generally I think people that have confidence in themselves get a lot more attention and are found more attractive. So, I don't see what people are complaining about.
Not just with men. Try that with women. Oh boy. "Wow that skirt looks nice on you" Me "Yes, I know. I bought it cause it makes everybody do a double take on my legs." and after that it was on. "well you got some serious cellulite you know" or "I don't know why you wear stuff that shows off your stomach. I would never wear anything that tight"
I don't understand. What they expected instead?? I always say thanks or thank you and I've never get any of this responses (maybe they were not happy, but nobody said something like that to me)
Strange. Almost as if men just don't want women to feel good about themselves, at least these clowns don't. We know that much.
Many women react the same way to men who respond confidently and see them as arrogant. It's not a gender issue. This happens on both sides.
Load More Replies...Answering "I know" or " i like me too" for a compliment is being ungrateful for some one who went out of their way just to make u feel special. That's the problem with feminists, you want guys to be a******s so desperately, you end up being the jerks. Clearly "I know my hair has been on my head" will bring the devil out of any one. Just "thank you" and if you are feeling a bit generous" you too" will make the world a better place.
Guy : Aha! So you look different today! Love the new look! Me : Haha thanks! Guy : No need to fly I've seen better ok. Me : ....
This is silly. If anyone responds this way to a compliment, anyone would think its cocky. I tend to respond like this but in a joking manner to men and women and i dont get retorts.
... Pfft arrogance is sexy to some, it would be better if she said "Yes I f*****g know, I'm flawless"
Bitter and resentful attitude. Her experiment it's not an experiment at all since it's biased by her own prejudice.
This attitude that nowadays some girls have, acting defensive and negative towards any thing a man does it's sad.
Regardless of gender responding to a compliment with thanks I know comes off as extremely stuck up, a simple thank you wouldn't have gotten these reactions.
I really don't think the men's responses have anything to do with their gender of I complemented a guy and he responded pompously with yeah I know I'd think he was an a*****e. If they said it in a funny casual sarcastic way then I'd be fine but that's really just a difference in tone which you can't tell from a text message anyway
This a very historically recent social phenomena in response to nonsensical PC behavior that has been pushed on men for the past several decades. From the start this so-called "experiment" was designed for the strict purpose of antagonizing men. The originator admits it. So much for the notion that being feminist is about equal rights. This has absolutely nothing to do with equal rights.
Absolutely nothing wrong with saying "Thank you." That's what you should say to a compliment! But saying, "I know, right?" is obviously just trying to be catty and start something for no reason. Try the same "social experiment" with a simple "Thank you." and then post the results... This post should event exist.
I think it would be different if the answer to compliment was more like ' thank you' rather than with a vibe that makes you feel like the compliment was somehow inappropriate
The "compliment" IS inappropriate. Would you walk up to a guy in a grocery store and say, "Nice basket"? If he smacked you for commenting on his genitals in a public place, you'd deserve it. This is no different.
Load More Replies...You have a very nice profile picture :D (I'm weird and I know it, and like it)
Load More Replies...So it shocks some of you that is anyone acts like a self absorbed narcissistic a*s people are shocked and taken back by it?
So why exactly is it self absorbed when a woman or a man finds her/himself beautiful. I mean is it really something you would want to preach to your children? "Please find yourself ugly?" "Please don't say thanks" "Please say that you're not" really? Because I think every person should love themselves, isn't it more self absorben when you have people almost literally asking for more compliments by denying? Because if you say "you're pretty" and the other person says "No I'm not" aren't you going to say "Yes you are" ? Of course you would. Why shouldn't you. Because if you don't, then you agree. Don't you? So the person you told so may be actually really shy or this person is compliment fishing. I find it rude not to accept a compliment. Whenever I make a compliment to a man like "Great hair/eyes/voice whatever" I get a "Thanks", and in the VERY rare cases I get a "No it's not" and then I think "Wait why do you question my taste? Maybe I find it pretty?"
Load More Replies...Are men really that dumb?? It's guys like this that give the rest of us a bad rep.
What the heck? In all my 41 years on this planet, I have NEVER had a boy, young man, or adult male respond in this way when I accepted his compliment. Seems this sample of responses is skewed to fit the activist's narrative, OR she just has a bunch of douchebag dudes in her life....
What the heck? In all my 41 years on this planet, I have NEVER had a man respond in this way when I accepted a compliment. Seems to me, that this sample is either skewed to fit the activist's narrative, or she just has a bunch of douchebag dudes in her life....
Pissing someone off because of an compliment??WTF???????You just beg to be treated like s**t.
To all of the people saying "Just say thank you!"....I was taught to always be polite when someone gives me a compliment and the amount of men who have responded with "Wow, that's all out have to say?" or "F**k you, you fat b***h" is actually astonishing. It is a lose-lose situation these days.
It isn't the "thanks or thank you" and take your compliment. It is your b***h a*s "I know" that makes you sound like a conceited materialistic b***h. I get complimented alot. I tell them thank you and I compliment back if deserving. It is called being POLITE ever here of the word?
They made a rude comment and you think they should just take it? I've got news for you. Women are grownups. I answer these losers with a resounding "get stuffed".
Load More Replies...It's a compliment to people in need and gets a middle finger from others: do people owe thanks for hearing another persons opinion?
(not all men of course) is that the get out clause to cover your bigotry? Kinda like 'not all black people of course'. I'm so tired of being blamed by feminists for crimes I didn't commit because I was born whit a penis. Isn't it time we started judging people as individuals rather than by race/religion/gender?
("not all men of course") and that gets you off the hook for bigotry does it? Kinda like " not all black people of course". Ya know I'm really tired of being blamed by feminists for crimes I didn't commit because I was born with a penis. Isn't it time humanity started judging people on their merits as an individual rather than by their gender/race orientation?
I'm not pretty (not being self-pitying or anything; objectively I know that my face is not beautiful by society's standards and I am fine with it), but I get called beautiful all the time by men who are desperate. Anything other than playfully denying their compliments gets them angry and telling me that I'm actually really ugly, but they lied to make me feel better/because they felt sorry for me/etc. Lol!
I don't follow why a man would take offence. Of course, plenty of people are idiots, but this post seems to me unrepresentative of men, and trying to portray all of us as idiots.
I think this woman needs to grow up and find men, not f**k boys. but then, she would not know how to handle that either.
Nothing new. As a man, Ive done similar things for years. Not just compliments but insults as well. Someone will call me an a_ _ hole and I'll say, I know isnt it great? All it takes is not givin a f_ _ _ what people think.
Saying I know right is not thanking someone for a compliment. Also, is she on some sort fo dating site? these are two way conversations with who?
Ironic cause guys get pissed off when girls refuse complements and act like we should just take them but when we do ...
Glad to see these women are on the cutting edge of feminism...gotta police men I need every way...egalitarianism,cause it's 2017
I'll take that bet! I've gotten the same garbage from men all my life - and most of them were white.
Load More Replies..."She just pointed out the most brilliant way to p**s off men and started a new social experiment" In other words, she's a troll and she knows it. You know what...some guys are jerks. And some ladies are too. I know that is shocking and you don't need 'experiments' to prove it.
No. She's calling out the trolls. If they can't take it, then THEY are the one with the problems.
Load More Replies...Same as some women. Nothing new or special. Has been, is and there will always be mean people.
Load More Replies...I think you need to work on how you phrase your "compliments" haha If you're getting arrested for them you're doin it wrong!
Load More Replies...As a man: The responses of the guys is disgusting. But then again I think she picked out the bad answers and left out the normal ones.
Also I wonder what the answers / reactions would be if they swapped roles.
Load More Replies...The responses are so weird... Usually when I agree with someone (like "you're smart - I know :)"), it starts the conversation, no one get aggressive. Maybe choose better friends/dates.
Agreed. I'd love to know who these men are, relative to Jones. I think they may be total strangers, not her friends/dates.
Load More Replies...Ugh the comments here lool. Well I did it all my life, whenever someone comments with "You're smart huh?" I say "Well yes, otherwise you wouldn't talk to me, would you?" I simply question their intelligence :) It's different when it comes to looks though. Men who are afraid of woman that recognize their beauty aren't interesting to me anyway. So when a guy tells me "Your hair/face/legs/eyes/whatever is/are pretty" I usually reply with "Thanks" ... usually you get three different reactions .. 1) almost none 2) wow you're narcissistic/cocky/full of yourself OR 3) Wow finally a woman that does't have confidence issues. And the last guy is the only interesting one, at least to me ( I don't generalize) because he can deal with a personality that doesn't need to be fake-humble or fishes for compliments with "Oh I'm so fat/ugly/whatever" just for people to say "NOOO you're not". My 2 cents about that :)
I have gotten a fourth reaction, laughter. They think I'm being pretty funny when I answer like that and that usually starts a conversation. I think her answers are hilarious. Of cousrse she likes her own hair!
Load More Replies...I typically compliment them back. I had a man at the gas station tell me I was an "exceptional woman who looked very happy" and I responded "Hey, thanks. You are really good at compliments." He told me his name, I told him mine, we shook hands and away he went. When a man compliments me on my outfit I usually commend him for his excellent taste. If he compliments me on a particular body part (my bum usually) I say something funny like "Thanks for noticing all the time spent on those squats and lunges!" If they are crude then I usually just pretend I don't speak English.
THIS Is A Comment I Can Agree With .... This Sounds More Like The Reality I Live In....
Load More Replies...Meanwhile, in Korea, regardless of gender and the kind of compliment, it is considered good manners to deny the compliment and act humble. But a "thanks" won't be so bad either.
This is a major part of the problem in society today. She started this conversation with "P**s a man off today" and the problem is how men respond to bold confidence? The real problem is the forced gender divide. Why try to p**s anyone off? How about we try to make someone's day a little brighter? Who cares if some young buck with too much testosterone and not enough common sense can't handle a confident woman? He'll grow up and get over it, or he won't. Either way, you know what you are, who you are, and what you are capable of and that is all that matters.
She pissed these men off by thanking them and being confident. Says a lot about the insecure dipshits who were bothered by it.
Load More Replies...On the other hand...if I told a guy he looked nice and he replied with "I know" or "thanks, don't I" . I'd think he was conceited. If I was on a date and I said to his guy "You have a nice body, you're in great shape" and he replied with "I like it too". I'd be all...wtf...this guy...wow! I'd think he either was on drugs or had a social disorder. I'd still be talking about that years later to my friends.
If you're so obnoxious that you'd actually say those things to people you don't know well, you deserve a verbal slap for it. What's rude is the initial comment.
Load More Replies...It is interesting to see Boredpanda advocate against Gender stereotyping by only posting women in mens jobs and not the other way arround and then posting articles like these again putting women in a positive position and men in a negative one. Also claiming ALL men do this. Makes me wonder if Boredpanda is ruled by angry sour women. And if they really seriously want to promote peace harmony and equality. You could also post about men giving positive comments instead of negative ones. to promote equality in a positive way. But I'm sure in all your search for negativity you found(Decided not to show) none. *Waits for downvoters for being critical*
Umm...well, why don't you start it then? The 'Add Post' button is just at the top right corner. :)
Load More Replies...guy: you are beautiful! me: thanks! I know :) guy: oh? You know?? *laugh* me: yes, I know, I have a mirror *guy just laughed, as he didn't know what else to say. Am I not allowed to like how I look or what? Anyway, what other reaction than "thank you" does people expect?
In my experience that's exactly what people expect, just "thank you." Not "thank you, I know." You are allowed to like how you look, but for some reason people don't like to hear about it. They find modesty attractive, regardless of gender.
Load More Replies...Wow. Those people.. are just bunch of idiots if you ask me, why can't she like her hair, or answer like that? What's up with that? I thought is sounded like a normal answer. Not like a cocky answer or anything.
Maybe it's because, regardless of your gender, when someone compliments you, you should just accept it with a thank you. saying things like "I know" just make you sound arrogant and like you have no appreciation for the fact someone was trying to be nice to you and give you a compliment.
Trying to point out the hypocrisy is feminism. Going "p**s off a man today" is not, it's being an a*s.
LOL!! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!! Do you really think that a man would not be considered, at the VERY least arrogant if he gave this response to a woman who complimented him? I think you ladies may be setting something of a dangerous standard if you really desire to be regarded as a "Good human being" as apposed to a sexually d emasculating twit.. You are the definition of sexist.
I think this is obnoxious, I mean sure if a guy gives a rude compliment go for it. But Generally when people regardless of gender give you a nice compliment it's kind of rude and condescending to say 'yeah I know' or things like that. Like the other day I had a male grocery store employee compliment my shoes and I said thank you and gave a little smile because it was a nice thing to say. Why would I go out of my way to be unpleasant to them about it?
Personally I love women with confidence. Idk about anyone else but I find it so sexy when they know they look good!! <3
The reactions seem both weird and strange. But imo it has nothing to do with genders and compliments... the common and polite social manner for all is to answer a phrase of interest from someone with a minimum interest to him/her: I don't think you would answer a "How are you today?" with a "I'm feeling great and I know it!", you would answer smthng like "I'm great, thanks, and how are you?". So maybe the lack of politeness/return-of-interest is what triggers the stupid reactions, not the acceptance/no-humbleness... and has nothing to do with men vs women.
This is a great idea! From now on, when someone says "How are you?" I will say "I am fabulous and I know it!!!" :)
Load More Replies...So her goal is to make men angry. Am I the only one who considers this mean spirited? I'm sure it wouldn't be thought so cute if the roles were reversed.
My dad told me once looked beautiful , I said thanks and smiled as it wasn't something he'd ever said it to me before, to which he replied don't go getting a fat head .
I have Asperger's. When I was a kid in the country, I had very short hair, went shirtless in the summer, and had 90% of my elementary classmates convinced I was the boy named Sue. I only ever got compliments about my athletic skills (thanks to my older brother) or my brains. I used the scripted response my tv/theater actor/director father taught me, "Yeah, Thanks!" After I did the ugly duckling transformation I kept using the same line, now married for 28 years.
For some men, complimenting a woman is a way to find out if she's insecure and establish a power advantage. Any sense of equality scares them off because they are insecure.
You are a stupid "feminist", don't worry many more "feminist" act like you. You disgrace the title Feminist. Your making all men sound like aggressive animals.
There are 2 kinds of women. 1: Strong smart independant women who get things done and acomplisch great things and when asked or when the situation arises that needs conversations about equality they will speak up. (Which I think is a good thing) These women if you ask me are THE best women to change and show the world how awesome they ALSO are and change the world/views. And then you have the second kind of women. 2: Women who make it their nr 1 priority to avoid any responsibility/initiative to create their own succes and blame their every failure to anyone and anything but themselves. They grab every opportunity even if it's not even the time and place to turn a conversation about how women are oppressed and have less rights and are offended. That does NOT help. They ruin the image of all women and constantly blaming others is a sign of weak character for men and women alike even though you are at a disadvantage.
Load More Replies...I've always been in the habit of saying "thank you" when receiving a compliment, and I've never had a negative response to it.
This is very interesting but my inner scepticist asks immediately: how do you know it's a man-woman thing and not a general attitude towards compliments? Maybe it proves that we often confuse confidence with arrogance as a society. Is it really SIGNIFICANTLY different when it's two girls or two guys, or girl is the one who says the compliment?
(not all me of course) is that the get out clause to cover your bigotry? Kinda like 'not all play people of course'. I'm so tired of being blamed by feminists for crimes I didn't commit because I was born whit a penis. Isn't it time we started judging people as individuals rather than by race/religion/gender?
I had a very pretty face when I was young and I am aging really well. I have been told I was pretty or beautiful my whole life and I myself liked what I saw in the mirror (I totally understood it was just good luck). I am smart, rational, creative and particularly low maintenance. I always understood that beauty and youth don't last and was careful to enjoy it while not being attached to it. Guys don't get mad at me for my acknowledgement of my physical beauty but they do get mad at me for not falling in love with them telling me about it. They get mad at me for not being lonely, and grateful for declarations of love. IMG_5910-5...32cd5c.jpg
So many cherries picked to carefully craft this narrative. Feminista indeed.
I need something more to this.... like a come-back that will send him packing when he gets offended... Coz i've tried this, works well... then turns nasty... and i just don't wanna have to deal with THAT.
If a stranger ever tells you that you need to hit the gym more often, I think you would be justified in telling them to f**k off and mind their own business.
Load More Replies...I had this guy block my way twice in his car, then when I finally had to stop he rolled down his window and told me he just had to tell me I was attractive. I just stared at him, and he was literally taken aback when I didn’t instantly gush and say thank you. He was too stupid to notice that I didn’t appreciate being stalked, so then he asked for my number. Told him no, and then walked around his car to get away. If you say thank you, there is 50/50 chance it could go either way. If he is not prepared for either response he should keep his mouth shut. It’s telling that the people who are most upset didn’t consider that she may have gotten the responses first then concluded that in responding in such a way, ticks off men.
This really doesn't happen. I would be happy if I gave a compliment and they agreed. Why in the hell would that offend someone?
I literally have never seen this. And I don't get why this would be an issue if someone were to accept my compliment. I would be very positive about it.
This is 'normie' society to a T. They just want any excuse to be d***s to each other. It's really common in the goth community when complimented to say something along the lines of "thanks I like it too." or at least something in some way that imples that the person being complimented is aware of what they are being complimented on and is proud of it. There's nothing wrong with liking your good attributes and saying so when somebody compliments it! And people sterotypically think goths are bad people....
the frame of mind here is astonishing. Do you not see how this makes you look like the biggest b***h in the world. You are so vein and self centered that you think every compliment is a cat call. that every compliment was intended to bother you rather than be a nice gesture. you are whats wrong with this world. most of these lack of responses are men being surprised about how f*****g conceded you are. I seriously hope no one ever says anything nice to you again.
It’s not only with women … and not only with men … 30 years ago I was in a seminar with a “psycho shaman” where one of the assignments was to react to compliments exactly this way, e.g. by saying, “thanks, I know” :-D Most people are p!ssed off by this because we were all taught that this is “immodest” and “boasting”, etc., while it actually simply is knowing—and appreciating—one’s abilities and positive features.
I am extremely feminist and there are a lot of legitimate issues with sexism out there, but this is total baloney. This is a matter of manners, not sexism. It is simply common courtesy to accept a compliment from a man OR a woman with a sincere, simple "thank you" and not talk about how you agree with them, which is considered arrogant. I have never had a man react negatively to a nice thank you. But I totally understand their reactions to her obnoxious responses.
Obviously if their compliment is way out of line then yea, the "I know" response is great. LOL
Load More Replies...I love honesty, I apologise for my gender reacting this way. I'd love it if people responded to compliments like this x
Maybe we should all be humble instead of bragging about how smart or good looking we are.
I don't know about other guys, I only compliment people when I genuinely feel that way and it strikes me as odd that 'thank you' could be offensive. Personally, when someone says thank you I take that as a success and I just smile happily. I don't get the boys of today, but then again, I guess I don't mingle with the loathsome sort either.
Actually yeah. When I clicked this I was really interested but when I saw the example I realized, yeah, it comes off as pretentious and I really don't think it's gender based. Imagine if you complimented my eyes and I said "I know." Wow, full of himself much?
Every time a guy gives me a compliment, always say tnxs n they accept it, haven't come across a guy who hasn't accepted my answer.
I've got to be honest, I RARELY get this response from men. They mostly giggle or compliment me again by calling me confident. Or they'll snap their fingers in a silly way and say something corny like, "Go girl." Guys are usually pretty easy going either way.
The experiment would have been better if she just would have said thank you. But saying that u know or that you agree would offend anyone no matter what sex. It comes across as conceded or arrogant. I suggest a do-over
The Auther doenst understand how compliments work, thats the Problem. Witch doesn't make the reactions any better by the way. If you recive a compliment you acknolage its recival and the joy your feeling by getting it, the other tells you that he noticed something positive that he likes about you. THats why the normal Form to answer is Thank you. You thank for the compliment and the acknoledgment of the other person, Not for the stated fact. If you now also tell them that you are aware of that fact and that it is positive it means you are opening up a different issue. The other person doesn't asume that you didn't know that, its not ment as some kind of self esteem boost, it means the other one has noticed your efforts or given gifts. Telling him that you know and that you are aware means you tell him that the attention he was paying was unnecessary or even kind of unwelcomed. Works for men and women and the other way round too, telling the other that hes not right in his assesment.
Lots of sweeping generalizations in this article and the comments. Politeness is the lubricant of a civilized society. It's a pity that so many are unable to accept a compliment with grace and dignity. It can be done with confidence yet without coming off as arrogant...and that goes for both sexes. It's also a pity that some feel the need to turn a compliment into a personal challenge or a battle of the sexes.
But, if someone calls me a b***h, ugly, or emo, I say thanks, they're speechless, and hope someone will say something. I just stand there, cause I'm not gonna be the one to break the awkward silence that they brought on themselves. It's often hard not to laugh, because this often happens at my school (7th grade), since I don't fit in with here code of quite girl, looks slightly diff. than everyone else, or the alternative, (sorry this isn't racist it's an accurate statement that applies to most of this group of people, only referring to the ones in MY school, and only my school.) Dem white girls, twigs, skinnier than a skeleton, tee shirt, leggings, and oversized UGG 's. So I can't help but get a laugh out of there bewildered face.
1. I'd like to see a quantitative study. It would be a very interesting social experiment if there was actual data collection and analyzation of a sample of say... how many times out of every 20 does a man have a bad reaction, or try to take back the compliment. 2. I would definitely think a dude was super cocky if the roles were reversed here... imagine "Wow, you've got nice arms (abs, hair, eyes, whatever)" and then "Thanks, I know."
in fact, many guys get insecure, or irritated whether the one who is agree with thier compliment is a male or a female xd
Well some of answers these ladies gave back were just plain rude. One should always be gracious when complimented. That is just good manners. A simple thank you is all that is required. This "I know I am pretty" sounds so pretentious and stuck up. I would never compliment this person again if I got answers like these.
I love her whole look! Her skin looks flawless, and she just looks so... healthy and happy! :)
Moral of the story: If you're a woman with self-confidence you will p**s off a lot of men.
I've done this to a few guys before when I didn't want to talk to them. They would say I was cute and I responded with a "I know." No one got mad some just said "Really?" followed with a smiley or an lol. Or just a "I'm glad you do." it seems to slow down the conversation and make things a little awkward but I wouldn't say I've seen anyone get upset. I think part of it is that for anyone to say that it makes you look self obsessed. I think it's weird to see some feminist say that a woman isn't getting equal treatment if the world can view her as attractive but she can't view herself that way. I kind of get what they're saying but, there's a difference between having self confidence and being egotistical. Generally I think people that have confidence in themselves get a lot more attention and are found more attractive. So, I don't see what people are complaining about.
Not just with men. Try that with women. Oh boy. "Wow that skirt looks nice on you" Me "Yes, I know. I bought it cause it makes everybody do a double take on my legs." and after that it was on. "well you got some serious cellulite you know" or "I don't know why you wear stuff that shows off your stomach. I would never wear anything that tight"
I don't understand. What they expected instead?? I always say thanks or thank you and I've never get any of this responses (maybe they were not happy, but nobody said something like that to me)
Strange. Almost as if men just don't want women to feel good about themselves, at least these clowns don't. We know that much.
Many women react the same way to men who respond confidently and see them as arrogant. It's not a gender issue. This happens on both sides.
Load More Replies...Answering "I know" or " i like me too" for a compliment is being ungrateful for some one who went out of their way just to make u feel special. That's the problem with feminists, you want guys to be a******s so desperately, you end up being the jerks. Clearly "I know my hair has been on my head" will bring the devil out of any one. Just "thank you" and if you are feeling a bit generous" you too" will make the world a better place.
Guy : Aha! So you look different today! Love the new look! Me : Haha thanks! Guy : No need to fly I've seen better ok. Me : ....
This is silly. If anyone responds this way to a compliment, anyone would think its cocky. I tend to respond like this but in a joking manner to men and women and i dont get retorts.
... Pfft arrogance is sexy to some, it would be better if she said "Yes I f*****g know, I'm flawless"
Bitter and resentful attitude. Her experiment it's not an experiment at all since it's biased by her own prejudice.
This attitude that nowadays some girls have, acting defensive and negative towards any thing a man does it's sad.
Regardless of gender responding to a compliment with thanks I know comes off as extremely stuck up, a simple thank you wouldn't have gotten these reactions.
I really don't think the men's responses have anything to do with their gender of I complemented a guy and he responded pompously with yeah I know I'd think he was an a*****e. If they said it in a funny casual sarcastic way then I'd be fine but that's really just a difference in tone which you can't tell from a text message anyway
This a very historically recent social phenomena in response to nonsensical PC behavior that has been pushed on men for the past several decades. From the start this so-called "experiment" was designed for the strict purpose of antagonizing men. The originator admits it. So much for the notion that being feminist is about equal rights. This has absolutely nothing to do with equal rights.
Absolutely nothing wrong with saying "Thank you." That's what you should say to a compliment! But saying, "I know, right?" is obviously just trying to be catty and start something for no reason. Try the same "social experiment" with a simple "Thank you." and then post the results... This post should event exist.
I think it would be different if the answer to compliment was more like ' thank you' rather than with a vibe that makes you feel like the compliment was somehow inappropriate
The "compliment" IS inappropriate. Would you walk up to a guy in a grocery store and say, "Nice basket"? If he smacked you for commenting on his genitals in a public place, you'd deserve it. This is no different.
Load More Replies...You have a very nice profile picture :D (I'm weird and I know it, and like it)
Load More Replies...So it shocks some of you that is anyone acts like a self absorbed narcissistic a*s people are shocked and taken back by it?
So why exactly is it self absorbed when a woman or a man finds her/himself beautiful. I mean is it really something you would want to preach to your children? "Please find yourself ugly?" "Please don't say thanks" "Please say that you're not" really? Because I think every person should love themselves, isn't it more self absorben when you have people almost literally asking for more compliments by denying? Because if you say "you're pretty" and the other person says "No I'm not" aren't you going to say "Yes you are" ? Of course you would. Why shouldn't you. Because if you don't, then you agree. Don't you? So the person you told so may be actually really shy or this person is compliment fishing. I find it rude not to accept a compliment. Whenever I make a compliment to a man like "Great hair/eyes/voice whatever" I get a "Thanks", and in the VERY rare cases I get a "No it's not" and then I think "Wait why do you question my taste? Maybe I find it pretty?"
Load More Replies...Are men really that dumb?? It's guys like this that give the rest of us a bad rep.
What the heck? In all my 41 years on this planet, I have NEVER had a boy, young man, or adult male respond in this way when I accepted his compliment. Seems this sample of responses is skewed to fit the activist's narrative, OR she just has a bunch of douchebag dudes in her life....
What the heck? In all my 41 years on this planet, I have NEVER had a man respond in this way when I accepted a compliment. Seems to me, that this sample is either skewed to fit the activist's narrative, or she just has a bunch of douchebag dudes in her life....
Pissing someone off because of an compliment??WTF???????You just beg to be treated like s**t.
To all of the people saying "Just say thank you!"....I was taught to always be polite when someone gives me a compliment and the amount of men who have responded with "Wow, that's all out have to say?" or "F**k you, you fat b***h" is actually astonishing. It is a lose-lose situation these days.
It isn't the "thanks or thank you" and take your compliment. It is your b***h a*s "I know" that makes you sound like a conceited materialistic b***h. I get complimented alot. I tell them thank you and I compliment back if deserving. It is called being POLITE ever here of the word?
They made a rude comment and you think they should just take it? I've got news for you. Women are grownups. I answer these losers with a resounding "get stuffed".
Load More Replies...It's a compliment to people in need and gets a middle finger from others: do people owe thanks for hearing another persons opinion?
(not all men of course) is that the get out clause to cover your bigotry? Kinda like 'not all black people of course'. I'm so tired of being blamed by feminists for crimes I didn't commit because I was born whit a penis. Isn't it time we started judging people as individuals rather than by race/religion/gender?
("not all men of course") and that gets you off the hook for bigotry does it? Kinda like " not all black people of course". Ya know I'm really tired of being blamed by feminists for crimes I didn't commit because I was born with a penis. Isn't it time humanity started judging people on their merits as an individual rather than by their gender/race orientation?
I'm not pretty (not being self-pitying or anything; objectively I know that my face is not beautiful by society's standards and I am fine with it), but I get called beautiful all the time by men who are desperate. Anything other than playfully denying their compliments gets them angry and telling me that I'm actually really ugly, but they lied to make me feel better/because they felt sorry for me/etc. Lol!
I don't follow why a man would take offence. Of course, plenty of people are idiots, but this post seems to me unrepresentative of men, and trying to portray all of us as idiots.
I think this woman needs to grow up and find men, not f**k boys. but then, she would not know how to handle that either.
Nothing new. As a man, Ive done similar things for years. Not just compliments but insults as well. Someone will call me an a_ _ hole and I'll say, I know isnt it great? All it takes is not givin a f_ _ _ what people think.
Saying I know right is not thanking someone for a compliment. Also, is she on some sort fo dating site? these are two way conversations with who?
Ironic cause guys get pissed off when girls refuse complements and act like we should just take them but when we do ...
Glad to see these women are on the cutting edge of feminism...gotta police men I need every way...egalitarianism,cause it's 2017
I'll take that bet! I've gotten the same garbage from men all my life - and most of them were white.
Load More Replies..."She just pointed out the most brilliant way to p**s off men and started a new social experiment" In other words, she's a troll and she knows it. You know what...some guys are jerks. And some ladies are too. I know that is shocking and you don't need 'experiments' to prove it.
No. She's calling out the trolls. If they can't take it, then THEY are the one with the problems.
Load More Replies...Same as some women. Nothing new or special. Has been, is and there will always be mean people.
Load More Replies...I think you need to work on how you phrase your "compliments" haha If you're getting arrested for them you're doin it wrong!
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