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When british mom Bekki Pope "pushed out a baby" she decided to give other soon-to-be-moms some heads up. Her Facebook post aptly named "20 things to know when you've just pushed out a baby" instantly went viral generating more than 114,000 likes and 80,000 shares. Why is it so popular? Probably because it's so brutally honest, relatable and at the same time shows what soon-to-be-moms should expect.

Check them out below even if you're not a mother yet - they'll definitely make you giggle and understand the process better!

(h/t)

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#1 The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over....

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:
17points
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jill_ryan avatar
Jill Ryan
Jill Ryan
Community Member
9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never had children ... but laughed like crazy at this post!

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rstev65752 avatar
Ruth Stevens
Ruth Stevens
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is both totally British, and totally perfect!

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m_j_j_ avatar
M.J. J.
M.J. J.
Community Member
9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody told me about the lochia - weeks of it!! And the smell!

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ghostzombie2015 avatar
Puddin Tane
Puddin Tane
Community Member
9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I, so, like that. I related to most of it. Except, I got no visitors while in the hospital and I was there for 9, yes, count them, 9 long days! I was so depressed by the time I got out. I was a crying mess. My son was stuck there for several more days.

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mastermarkus avatar
Master Markus
Master Markus
Community Member
9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be "that guy", but "God" didn't design women to give birth, which is WHY it sucks so much.

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RELATED:

    #2 Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you're trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    11points
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    karlabrock2012 avatar
    Karla Kelly-Edwards
    Karla Kelly-Edwards
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Feet up on a stool leaning forwards is another great one my mum taught me

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    criminalgirl avatar
    criminalgirl
    criminalgirl
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you mean to say " a jug of warm water with you...because it looks like you mean pour your pee over your bits....ain't nobody got time for that....

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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they gave me a bottle that would squirt upwards! i loved that bottle!

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    #3 Your first poo. Do not panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember the size of the thing you pushed out of the front bit, and the prospect of pushing out what's in the back bit won't be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    12points
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    torismom29 avatar
    Alexandria Flint
    Alexandria Flint
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First poop after a c section is just as bad 😂

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    treasures2930 avatar
    Melika Anne
    Melika Anne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First bm after a c section is horrible,you can't push because you have stiches inside and out.

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    biene avatar
    Lila Launehase
    Lila Launehase
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait until you don't have to push any more. And relax :)

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    #4 Your baby looks weird. Like... Really weird. 'Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby' etc will be said at you and you'll accept other people's opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    23points
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    carolandwilliam avatar
    Carol Taylor
    Carol Taylor
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is exactly how my children and others children look to me..in truth, they do not resemble any family member until they have grown into their features after about a year or so...

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    jovani0730 avatar
    Berenice Mendoza
    Berenice Mendoza
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg thanks i thought i was a bad mom ..but even like that i love him at first side.👶

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    elaine_mold avatar
    Elaine Evans
    Elaine Evans
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wrinkled prunes wired for sound

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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had to check my daughter when she was first born because she looked like an alien. nope, she was still attached so she was definitely mine

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    #5 Their downstairs bits are ridiculous. You will worry about the impact they will have on their lives should they stay like that. Boys little nuggets are the size of whole walnut whips, but their willies are the size of the walnuts on the top that nobody wants. Apparently this 'swelling' goes down soon. If it doesn't, expect 'big bollocks' to be part of your sons school nickname.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
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    #6 Their first poo is not actually poo. It's tar. The midwives sneak in over night, fill your baby's nappy with treacle and then test you to see if you know to get rid of it, or to see if you decide to take one look at it and start googling 'why do nappies come pre-filled with marmite?'

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    15points
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    sarashrader avatar
    Sara Shrader
    Sara Shrader
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the most British paragraph in the history of time. Like more than the magna carta...

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    biene avatar
    Lila Launehase
    Lila Launehase
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The color changing it so funny! With every new diaper you think: "Is THIS normal?"

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    skye8487 avatar
    Angelica
    Angelica
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I changed my daughters first dirty diaper, my mom has me on video gagging/dry heaving.The smell was horrid!!

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    mrs_white1129 avatar
    Sierra White
    Sierra White
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I literally have no idea what any of that says

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    #7 Your first shower will be like a scene from Carrie. It's normal. It may feel like you'll never be right again and that you'll walk like John Wayne forever, and you might, but you'll feel so much better for the shower. You're literally washing away your sins. (If the baby was born out of wedlock anyway....)

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    11points
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    elaine_mold avatar
    Elaine Evans
    Elaine Evans
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except that if you have saline baths 2 or 3 times a day instead of showers you won't walk like John Wayne and it won't hurt.

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    criminalgirl avatar
    criminalgirl
    criminalgirl
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, saline baths were really great, but they don't do that anymore, something about infections being picked up and ruining the baths!

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    #8 Midwives like babies. They will come and pick yours up with no prior warning. They will squeeze their testicles, massage their tummies to make them crap, and fiddle with their face so much you're sure the baby looks like it's had botox when they give it back.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    10points
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    #9 Your baby hates you. It's not crying. It's communicating with its master- the devil- about how successful their plan to destroy you is going. Seriously - it doesn't actually hate you. It may seem like it never cries when anyone else holds it or that it enjoys keeping you up all night, but really, it is so dependant on you it's embarrassing. Human babies are embarrassing.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    18points
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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and then overnight they are moving out into the world and you wish they were in your arms dependent on you again.

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    mrs_anna_cooley avatar
    Anna Cooley
    Anna Cooley
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except for that whole waking up every few hours part 😜 I totally agree with you.

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    crabcrab avatar
    Hans
    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But it will become less dependant with every single day, and you have the opportunity to witness this! Besides, one could probably argue that _humans_ are embarassing. ;)

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    rajanisarasan avatar
    Rajani Sarasan
    Rajani Sarasan
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahaha its master- the devil! I love you man

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    dianalivesaydeenails avatar
    Diana Livesay (Dee Nails)
    Diana Livesay (Dee Nails)
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine is obsessed with me. If anyone else picks him up he whines. As soon as he's back in my arms he grins. Been like this since the first second we met

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    #10 You will say the word 'latch' more than you have ever said it in your life. And the idea of a tiny person casually sucking on your nipples suddenly becomes a reality. At this moment, you will feel like an actual proper mum. And a cow.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    10points
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    sharne_j avatar
    Sharné Jacobs
    Sharné Jacobs
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    gosh, I don't want to have babies.

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    elaine_mold avatar
    Elaine Evans
    Elaine Evans
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You forgot the varicose veins and stretch marks that will stay with you for life

    2
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    martatobicka avatar
    Magda Tobicka
    Magda Tobicka
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4t0yrt_miss-bum-bum-przerwala-ligowy-mecz_sport

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    #11 There are people in hospital that can smell your vulnerability. They will take photos of your baby looking cute and then try and charge you a million pounds for it. They will scroll through the 50 photos they've taken of your baby in the same position, asking you to choose your favourites. and if you've got a partner like mine, that means you will have to re-mortgage your house by the time he's done...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    3points
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    ilmenau avatar
    Nils Fox
    Nils Fox
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    photographs in the hospital?

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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh yes! take your own camera or have friends come and do it! for c**p sake, everyone has a camera. but they still feel the need to have someone come in and take pictures of your baby and then try to sell them to you. what kind of a crooked racket is that anyway?

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    helenateixeira avatar
    Helena Teixeira
    Helena Teixeira
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was shocked that someone in a doctor coat came into my room to talk to me about a cream. She was trying to sell me stuff! I was tired and depressed but I let her in instead of sleeping while my baby was asleep because I thought she was a doctor! When I realised, I asked my husband to print "medical personnel only please" on paper and stick it to my hospital room door. The nerve...

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    #12 The hospital food is as bad as it is so that people decide they would rather be in pain and at home than eating 'peaches and custard'. The custard is hot wee with a splash of breast milk mixed in, and the peaches are body parts that have been soaked in sugar over night. And don't eat the chocolate mousse. Just don't.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    6points
    POST
    dianalivesaydeenails avatar
    Diana Livesay (Dee Nails)
    Diana Livesay (Dee Nails)
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My hospital gave me a menu with a lot of food, drinks and desserts to chose from. It was so damn good

    1
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    emilysoftley avatar
    Emily Softley
    Emily Softley
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The hospitals I stayed in allowed my partner to go out and get me a takeaway. It was a lifesaver. If you've just had a baby, you deserve better than hospital food.

    1
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    mommacharity avatar
    Charity Stephen-Whiteaker
    Charity Stephen-Whiteaker
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used the same hospital for both of my kids. The first one I loved on salads, and sandwiches and my husband got my coffee and cheez-it's. The second they had improved the food and you could order whatever you wanted and it was pretty good. But hubby went and got ice cream, and coffee, and my mom brought dinner.

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    angel911_sb avatar
    Samantha Behymer
    Samantha Behymer
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idk my hospital has cheescake and pizza and tacos

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    #13 It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes weird noises in its sleep that make you think you're going to wake up and see Chucky in the cot- head spinning and laughing. You hope people know it's the baby and not you. Not that you'd know if you were farting. Your sphincter muscle control is somewhat lacking at the moment.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    8points
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    lauraashley1986 avatar
    Laura Borne
    Laura Borne
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not British but this whole article is funny. I don't get the feeling she has any bad feelings towards her child at all. This is hilarious and true.

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    annemariedavison avatar
    Annie Davison
    Annie Davison
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No jaqueline, this is just our British humour. We're all the same

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    jaquelineknebelwildner avatar
    Jaqueline Knebel Wildner
    Jaqueline Knebel Wildner
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Is this mommy suffering from post birth depression? It sounds like she dislikes her own child...

    #14 Everyone you've ever met will want to come to the hospital to see you. People get overexcited about visiting hospitals. They feel VIP when they walk in to a ward. You are a VIP- a very in-pain person. And you look and feel like death. So only accept visitors if you are up to it. You're still so high on drugs that making conversation with adults is like trying to sieve flour with a fishing net. Everything just pours out of you and none of the shit is stopped getting through...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    5points
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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and don't let them in until you are sitting down cuz no one needs to follow your diapered butt down the hall to your room!

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    lilmommie0603 avatar
    Michelle Brown
    Michelle Brown
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only let visitors in if you are up to it. Let the nurse know if you'd like a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. They even did something with the phone in my room (with my first) so all calls went straight to the front desk instead of straight to my room. If I was sleeping they didn't wake me up to ask if I wanted to take the call. They'd take a message of give it to me when I woke up.

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    #15 Your tummy is now resembling a balloon that's slowly deflating and feeling very sorry for itself. If you press it, you instantly conclude that it would make a fantastic trampoline for Stuart Little. Or that if you sliced it up right now, the hospital kitchen staff would use it and palm it off as nectarine jelly...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    4points
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    #16 They want you on contraception straight away. Countless midwives will come and talk to you about how fertile you are and how likely you are to become pregnant again. They do however forget one crucial thing- you're never having sex again. You never want to see a penis again. And if one comes near you, you'll most likely destroy it for the sake of women everywhere. The end.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    32points
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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but hubby won't understand this and you will tell the doctor to tell him you can't have sex for at least 2-3 months instead of 6 weeks

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    jenny_gerstl avatar
    Jenny Gerstl
    Jenny Gerstl
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was actually super horny, seeing hubby being a daddy is a huge turn on

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    donjohnson989898 avatar
    don johnson
    don johnson
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    ...and women wonder why men don't want to get married or have kids. They know the second she gets preggers, they might as well be living in a monastery. I'll keep to the single, child-free life thanks.

    giovannat1979 avatar
    giovanna
    giovanna
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apart the fact that she's obviously being ironic in the entire article, i think this is related to the fact that the days after giving birth your vagina is and feels like a bloody steak cut in pieces. And it hurts. A lot. And sex is the last thing you want.

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    #17 Everything's angry. Your brain is angry, your eyes are angry, your tummy, your bladder, your bum. Your vagina isn't angry. It's f@&king livid. Give it a while to calm down but right now, you and she ain't friends...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    18points
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    #18 People ask you if your milk has come in yet, and you half expect somebody dressed in a cravendale costume to waltz through the door and stay with you forever, handing you milk as and when your baby needs it. Not true. What actually happens is that, about 3 days in, your boobs start to leak like they have forgotten they are breasts and now believe they are garden sprinklers. Whose garden you don't know, but at the rate they start pouring out it must be the Queen's...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    11points
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    #19 They want you to go home ASAP. You are taking up valuable bed space and now you have delivered your stinky human bundle and they've checked it over to make sure it isn't a live Picasso painting, you're free to leave. Don't. Not until you're ready. Get all the help and advice you need before going home. Because once you're at home, your baby is expecting you to know what you're doing and you'll wish you'd stayed longer at the hospital. If to only delay the car seat fiasco a little longer...

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    8points
    POST
    kim-guereschi avatar
    Kim Guereschi
    Kim Guereschi
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And take everything you can! As I nursed my daughter before we took her home, my free arm was stuffing t he diaper bag with everything under that bassinet. You already paid for it!!!

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    lilmommie0603 avatar
    Michelle Brown
    Michelle Brown
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. I took diapers, wipes, baby lotion, the nose plunger thingy, thermometer....everything. But the nurses told me I could.

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    plaidipusmound avatar
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Maggie Grover Bacher
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    make sure to have the Lactation Consultant come in! at least once or twice or more. and sleep while you can cuz you're not going to do that again for a while

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    #20 Stop worrying. You're not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby's normal. You are your baby's perfect. They aren't judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It's a piece of 'oh my god I can't do this'. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy. You just grew and pushed out a mini Mitchell brother. There's nothing you can't do. Except sleep.

    Mummy Mumbles Report

    Final score:
    31points
    POST
    lilmommie0603 avatar
    Michelle Brown
    Michelle Brown
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true! I have 4 kids and with each them there was something new. I felt like I was the worst mommy in the world at times. But they are now 13, 10, 4 and 3. They all love me and I love them. It's not easy but you can do this!!

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    Jacky
    Jacky
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    deividasjank avatar
    Deividas Jankauskas
    Deividas Jankauskas
    BoredPanda Staff
    Premium     3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Jacky
    Jacky
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Deividas Jankauskas
    Deividas Jankauskas
    BoredPanda Staff
    Premium     3 years ago

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