Tumblr Users Explain Why Parents Should Stop Praising Children That Obey

I have three children who have always been respectful and polite, especially in public. I have noticed over the years its is always the people who are so impressed over their manners, that do a complete turn about as soon as they realize they are well mannered because they want to be, not because they fear me. I have received so many lectures over the years from these people about how I shouldnt have to explain why something is the way it is, and how they should just snap to attention like mindless puppets at my word. Why they dont understand that its those conversations that make them want to use those good manners that were so impressive in the first place, I will never know.

This post is all over the place, I'm with you on not bullying kids but the parents need to be the alpha in the child parent relationship in order to protect the child, if you take this everyone has an equal status approach, then you're going to find yourself in dangerous situations having to debate with your child why they should not be running across a road, wondering off in a supermarket by themselves or sticking their hand out of a moving vehicle, in those moments you do not have time to explain yourself and allow for your child's creative expression, they simply need to listen. We are all born with selfish impulses it often takes good parenting to make us aware of the needs of other, teaching a child to share for example or not making a hugh amount of noise in public, these things need to be taught.

People forget that not only do kids learn by what their parents say, they learn from what they do. So sure, if your kid writes on the wall yelling at them will get them to stop, but then if their friend does something they don't like they're going to yell at their friend.

I've always thought that respect and standing up for yourself were the main things parents should be focusing on behavior wise. My friends call me a "mom" because I absolutely hate it when other kids at my school who have almost no respect for adults or other students. I think that if parents teach their kids to respect everyone, as well as to not let anyone make you do something you're not comfortable with, kids will learn to listen to their parent(s) reasonable requests, but know when their being taken advantage of or abused.

Only punishment I can remember getting from my parent was being dragged out of the store when I threw a hissy fit over not getting something and mom putting me on a bench and talking about why I couldn't get everything I wanted. I still take the "you cant have everything you want" with me in case of future children or if my nieces needs to hear it. But the shame step in the stairs is still in use, dont ask why we dont have a shame corner cause I dont know.