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Everyone deserves to feel safe and respected around their significant others. But if those things are missing and your partner is actively making your life hell, you need to look for a way out. However, that’s easier said than done. Fear, love, and loyalty can make people stick around longer than they should.
Women who were in horrendous relationships shared online the most terrifying moments they experienced, when they knew for a fact that they should have left their partners then and there. And yet, they stuck around. At least for a while. Read on for their nightmarish stories, but be warned: they are emotionally hard-hitting and not for the faint of heart.
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#1
My little sister passed away in a car accident. He said, “well that’s a curve ball” and invited his friends over to drink and have a party in our house. I locked myself and our 8 month old in a bedroom all night and just cried. I should’ve left that night and never looked back.
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#2
Got into a fight with him, he accidentally elbowed me, as a reflex I said “ow you hit me” and he flipped out saying he would never do that and then he cut his own arm to “punish himself.” He severed two nerves and never regained use of his hand. I stayed for a while because I felt bad for him but I should have left then. Ended up amputating up to the elbow sometime after we broke up. He deserved it.
#3
We were somehow in an argument about who painted the Starry Night. I genuinely have no idea how he got there, but he said it was Charles Dickens. I calmly went to the bookshelf and pulled out “a tale of two cities,” and handed it to him. Just saying, “so the author of this book is the painter of this painting?” He called me dumb, and tried to throw the book at my head. He missed and instead hit the Starry Night painting… which was framed.
As PsychCentral explains, toxic relationships aren’t always violent. However, all violent relationships are toxic. Violent individuals often want control over you, whether physically, emotionally, or otherwise. They might try to isolate you from your family and friends, and limit your freedom in other ways.
If you need resources, help, or advice with leaving your relationship safely, immediately reach out to your local domestic violence hotlines. Alternatively, speak to a trusted family member or friend about your situation. Just remember to be subtle and cover your tracks digitally and in real-life so that your partner doesn’t find out about you making inquiries.
Your health and safety should always be your priorities.
#4
He broke my kitty's leg. Threw him against a table because the cat broke a cup that wasn't even his.
#5
Two weeks into dating, he called me every name in the book because I smiled and thanked the cashier at Walgreens. Tried to make him leave my apartment that night, he wouldn’t go. I said I would call the cops, he told me they wouldn’t believe me and he’d tell them I was crazy. I was so young and didn’t know any better. Spent 3 years in fear of him. Finally made it out after a single phone call to my sister in a moment of clarity. My family saved my life.
#6
He wrote a two page list, front and back, of things he hated about me. He said, he thought it would be constructive.
Nicole Weymann 10 hours ago
Depends on what you're trying to construct. A single person lifestyle without having to do the breakup yourself is about the only thing that comes to mind here.
The most common signs of toxic relationships include:
- Your needs not being met
- You always feel in the wrong
- You don’t get treated as an equal
- You can’t rely on the other person
- You rarely discuss the future
- Your other relationships suffer
- You’re scared of the relationship ending
- Your relationship doesn’t make you happy
“Healthy relationships make you feel just that –- happy, content, and fulfilled with the other person. If your relationship makes you unhappy, or even depressed or anxious, it may be a sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. You may even have reasons to want to stay, but they’re overshadowed by the unhappiness you feel with this other person,” PsychCentral explains.
#7
He reacted to me telling him I was pregnant with his first son by saying, “cool.” Then told me he was going to go take a nap. I teared up and he asked me if I wanted a hug. Then proceeded to go take a nap. I had it on video. I put it on our YouTube channel that’s just private. He demanded it be deleted during our divorce. Even he knew his reaction was [bad]. He hated me. This is therapeutic and sad at the same time.
#8
Told him a joke "when is a door not a door... when its ajar." He got REALLY mad that a door can't be a jar because it's a door. How can a door be a jar. I laughed at him thinking he was joking. He wasn't joking. At all.
Earthquake903 12 hours ago
I had a stupid one like that, too. It's scary how ignorant some people are and they get real mad at silly jokes. They take it as a personal attack.
#9
When a guy said “no one has ever told me I’m a good man before” — my cute endearing self initially took it as he hadn’t got the right love before. NOW I’m like OHHHHHH! There was a reason…
Earthquake903 12 hours ago
I have an ex who told me, "you haven't seen the monster yet" when he was talking about his ex. I stayed another 12 years and I regret every single second with him.
Meanwhile, people in toxic relationships can sometimes feel stuck in them even if they feel unhappy and want to leave. Ending such a relationship can take planning. First, be honest with yourself about why specifically you want things to end. Next, think about all the technical things that will have to change before you start untangling the relationship and leave. Sort them out first. And lastly, give yourself some grace and patience. You will need time to heal.
“It can be difficult going through a breakup, even from a toxic partner – so it’s okay if it takes some time for you to adjust. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your support system as you navigate through this adjustment.”
#10
He held a knife to my service dog's throat, and then threw the knife at me.
I will never ever be able to explain why I didn't call the cops right then.
#11
He took me to New York City on a trip that he paid for. He got angry at me for “disrespecting him in public” - a cashier with an accent asked him a question and he didn’t understand her, so I repeated what she said to him. He blew up at me, said I embarrassed him, I was ungrateful, that he would never take me anywhere ever again, and he abandoned me in the middle of the city. I had to navigate the subway system and get to the airport by myself.
#12
My dad passed away about 2 weeks into the relationship. Less than a month later he was mad because I was still grieving.
If you feel like opening up and sharing some of your most private, personal, and vulnerable moments, feel free to do so in the comments.
What is the very worst, most toxic relationship that you have ever been in, and what happened? When did you know that it was time to break up with the other person? How did you manage to leave? What advice would you give anyone in the same situation to help them stay safe?
#13
I was pregnant and he pinned me down to strangle me, he put all his weight into my pregnant belly and neck. When he finally got off I burst into tears while repeating "you were on my belly" he just looked at me disgusted and said "no I wasn't you're such a liar". Such a weird time in my life it doesn't even feel real. Moral of the story ladies, it gets infinitely better once you break away.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 2 hours ago
Every single entry of this list makes me thing that men aren't lonely enough
#14
I threw him a birthday party, bought decorations, invited his friends, bought all the drinks. Talked with him, planned it out, bought him lunch that afternoon when he came home for lunch. Baked him and his friends cupcakes before he came home from work and decorated them. He came home and uninvited me from the party. That I threw for him. And so I sat at home, ALONE while him and his friends and their girlfriends enjoyed the party I threw.
#15
When he got mad that I wouldn’t sleep with him the night we buried my 50 year old mother. I left 10 days later.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 2 hours ago
Men who get mad when told "NO" are to be avoided in general, no matter the situation
#16
We went to a party. I was tired and went to sleep in the back seat of the truck. He had drank two handles of liquor but still wanted to party with his friends. I told him to wake me up and I'd drive us home. I woke up to him driving us home. As soon as I woke up he flipped the truck down an embankment. I wasn't buckled in. We should have passed away. Truck was on its roof. He lied to the cops and got away with it somehow. I somehow walked away unscathed physically. Worst relationship of my life.
#17
He put an open knife blade on my dogs collar and laughed about it. I went to grab it with my bare hand. Also blocked the doorway when I tried to leave after he made fun of trans people and used the n word.
#18
I’m pretty sure the reason I never got to meet my ex mother in law had less to do with her being “a crazy alcoholic” and more to do with the fact that she’d have set the record straight on every one of his lies. Including the one where she passed away.
#19
Stayed the night at his mom’s house with him, in the morning I greeted the mom & she says “Oh this one has manners”.
#20
After having the baby he so desperately wanted (home birth), the placenta wouldn’t come out so I had to go to the hospital so they could pull it out. A fully dangerous situation. Well, they got it out and kept me and the baby for monitoring and he thought that was the perfect time to leave me and the baby in the hospital so he could drive 4hrs to NC and finish pledging with a fraternity. Mind you he was pushing 40 at the time. That was the beginning of my understanding of how men can pretend.
#21
When I was 7 months pregnant I asked him if he could make me some tea and he flipped out and called me selfish, then climbed onto the balcony and threatened to jump.
#22
I should've left the first time he hit me.
I definitely should've left the night I was driving down a motorway, desperately holding onto his seat belt to stop him from exiting the car at 70mph before he then punched and kicked my windscreen until it broke (note I was still driving and holding onto that damned seat belt).
He remembered nothing the next day.
I stayed another year.
#23
Our next door neighbor accused him of peeking in her back door to watch her and her kids. I didn’t believe the neighbor until I was leaving him for good and talked to our upstairs neighbor. She told me he kept creeping on her and trying to get her to come into our apartment with him.
He’s law enforcement.
#24
We were going into the mall. Coming out was an old lady with a cane. He held the door for her, which was nice, I thought. She got like 5 steps away, and he started b***hing about how disabled people were all entitled and it wasn't his job to open the door and why did she think it was his place to do that?
#25
It was our honeymoon and we went backpacking in Europe. This was the first physical a***e. In the groups hostel room I was rifling through my bag desperately looking for my passport (he has already taken and hidden it) while he glared at me. I turned to see if it had fallen out in the bathroom and he punched me in the spine. Held my passport hostage to force my “marital duties”. It took 6 months of escalating physical a***e to leave, he had already been choking and hitting me in the face by then.
#26
We worked at the same place when we started dating. One day, he said that he wanted me to stop talking to one of our male coworkers, and I laughed thinking he couldn’t be serious. His eyes went black and he began strangling me. Through gasps of air I got him to calm down enough to get off of me. In a panic, I backed into the corner of the room, and he came up to me and began kissing me saying “this is why I like you. I need someone who can handle me and calm me down”.
#27
My ex came to me very upset that he had been “texting” someone (not the first time he cheated mind you) and the persons DAD got in touch with him. The person he was messaging was a minor, 15. Claimed he didn’t know. Stayed with him another 10 years.
#28
We had been married a couple of months and he stole a few hundred dollars from me don’t worry, we were only together 14 more years…and he’s the one who left…for his new boyfriend.
#29
The second time I picked him up from jail for DUI, that should’ve been the clue.
Nicole Weymann 9 hours ago
The *second* time...right 🙄I think once would have been one to many already. Allowing for whatever prejudice police usually don't stop random drivers to check on them (at least not where I live), meaning he was already driving unsafely when stopped - and likely not at the first offence either.
#30
We got in an argument. He put me in the way very back of his Chevy blazer and proceeded to drive towards nowhere. Telling me he was going to k**l me and nobody would find me etc. I was 16/17 years old and terrified. I did not know that my best friend was on the phone and heard the whole thing. My phone d**d in the middle of the chaos and she was freaking out. This was before smart phones and location sharing. I stayed for at least another year, maybe more!! Yikes.
#31
Was on a road trip with a white partner (this context matters). We drove past a field of cotton and she asked me if I was going to get out and pick some. (For context, I am mixed).
#32
When I found out my now ex-husband was never in the marine Corp and we named our oldest son after somebody who passed way saving his life in a war he was never in on a camping trip with my in-laws?
#33
He commented on my family and friends photos saying explicit stuff using his facebook that he used for his real estate business with his name and face on it and was SHOCKED they told me.
#34
We got into a fight the day before he was supposed to propose to me and he chucked the ring at me and said he would never marry me. Ignored me the next 24 hours then called me asked me to come home from work early. He apologized then went through with the proposal cause he had a party room full of our friends and family waiting for us. The divorce finalized 10 days ago.
#35
He disappeared for a whole 24 hours with his gay best friend who just so happened to had paid for his bail and car repairs. Not saying straight men can’t have gay best friends, I’m saying this guy was his sugar daddy (and his ex girlfriend’s brother btw) yeah all the money he spent on buying me gifts was his MONEY.
#37
I found out that my grandpa who practically raised me passed away so I was sobbing in my bedroom. my bf at the time came back there with the ps3 remote in his hand asking what was wrong, I told him and he said “oh i’m sorry.. well can you keep it down?” I stayed for two more years.
#38
When my kid spilled ketchup on his shirt, and she smacked her kid to get his attention, pointed to mine and said, “don’t ever be like him.”
#39
Told an ex of his on FB how he had the worst birthday ever and everyone forgot. When in fact I had saved all my money for cake and gifts for him and cooked him a special meal..and he had already eaten and opened his gifts.
#40
He faked a seizure in the foyer after we got into a fight and refused to go home to his parents when I needed space, it wasn’t until his dad threatened to carry him to the truck where he stopped faking it and got up.
#41
He was angry about something and threw the items in his hand down the hall towards me. Items were his cell phone and his hand.
#42
I had a miscarriage in November 2025. He knew this, even told his mom. I saw on his phone one time that he messaged someone telling them he was the pregnant one, I was the husband, and that we had 3 kids. We have no kids, he apparently wants to be the girl in the relationship.
#43
When I found out he only had 3 pairs of underwear, they all had holes in them, and he was only doing laundry once a week.
#44
I tell everyone this because my ex was an unhinged alcoholic narcissist. I went to go smooch my man casually, he opened and closed Snapchat. He didn’t have a snap chat prior. I casually asked about it and why he didn’t add me (not even thinking of anything nefarious naively) he proceeded to f***k out. He went into the garage and I followed, completely confused. He proceeded to hack apart his phone with a machete in front of me. We stayed together for 2 years after That’s not even the best part.
He proceeded to belittle me when I told him I didn’t think he deserved that his parents bought him a new phone after this with “you’re just jealous” man was 25 at the time.
#45
When my ex husband and I first started dating he told me “I’ll never love you like I loved [ex]” and looking back, I really should have listened to him.
#46
I had walked all the way to the main house in the dark to make him a sandwich he asked for. When I brought it back, he took a bite and spit it out. Loudly in front of the whole group he said “that’s disgusting it was too much mayonnaise. Go make another one.” I was stunned. Another guy said “hey man she just went all the way to the house to make you that sandwich be nice” he said “well do you want her you can have her”. I was 18 and I didn’t know any better. It only got much much worse.
#47
This is one of the many crazy stories but one time i was trying to break up with my ex and he came over to where i worked, and brought me to go food and i refused to accept anything from him cause i wanted to be done, this man as he was leaving threw the entire to go box onto my car and dipped. needless to say, i still went back to him and he’s cheated on me and put his hands on me multiple times. but i am almost 3 months free of that man, THANK GOD.
Earthquake903 12 hours ago
Thank yourself, God had nothing to do with it. I hate when people give God credit for ending their suffering but never hold him accountable for causing/allowing it. If he's all knowing, all powerful, benevolent and loves us, then why do we have to be tormented? So he can deliver us from our misery and he can get the praise? Nah, I'm good.
#48
He pretended to stab me (with a real knife) every time we were in the kitchen, strangled me multiple times as "play", got behind me and twisted my neck so hard he pulled several muscles and I couldn't turn my head for weeks afterwards, and would repeatedly talk about where he'd hide my body. He was never angry when he did these things, but he still did them...it was so weird whenever I objected, he'd be furious that I "couldn't take a joke".
#49
He joked that if I got pregnant and didn’t get an abortion, he’d hire someone to off me. I’m very pro-choice and had an IUD, ran an office and was applying to grad school: and he was a scrub working at a garden center. Like BFFR. Oh! And once I was n***d and his bedroom door was open and he didn’t rush to close it when his roommate came home. He said it’s not like we’re dating so it doesn’t matter. Lots of “????????” happening there.
#50
it took until 2014 when he went full red-pill and started going on insane rants about Hillary Clinton and sending me links to articles on Russian propaganda sites and "feminist fail" videos that I realized...this guy actually just HATES women. He's attracted to us, but he freaking HATES us he seemed to revel in all the misogyny surrounding the first president election like he was finally allowed to say out loud all the things he'd been quietly thinking all along.
#51
Threw my cat across the room, pushed me against a hot stove, held a knife to my throat, choked me, said the n word, called me the k word, hit and punched me several times, and his mom enabled it all.
#52
When I found out a month in that he had put a thermal and motion-activated camera pointed at my front door on our SECOND date. Didn’t tell me. It only got worse from there and I left when he pulled some b******t and broke into my house the day I put my dog to sleep.
#53
We got together in college and the summer after my freshman year I got hip surgery where they broke my pelvis and shifted it over my femur to correct hip dysplasia. He lived an hour away and one day he just straight up stopped talking to me.. like I was texting and calling and begging him to answer and he just straight up didn’t. For 3 days. While I’m on pain meds and can’t walk. Finally he just said “I had to think through some stuff” WHAT!? Like he could have warned me. Stayed for another year.
#54
His mom d**d while we were in her town visiting her. Me and his sister found her body. That was the first night he hit me, he had pushed before but that night was the first proper slap. I stayed another 2 years.
#55
He lied to me about his lifestyle (2 jobs and a business, apartment, car, helping his mom on weekends/ he actually had a part time job, his mom paid for his car, and he lived with her so he was just doing chores) and then cussed out his mom right in front of me for telling me the truth. I stayed cuz I wanted to demonstrate that being broke didn't make him ineligible for love. However, cussing at your mom DOES make you ineligible. For my love, anyway lol.
#56
He crashed a funeral. Not even kidding. The service was fine but at the wake he waltzed into the pub, tried to fight the deceased son because we were playing pool together and he drove 4 hours to see me after he knew the funeral was that day- the son was a childhood friend- purely platonic. That was 1 of many incidents.
#57
I spent 5 days in the hospital with blood clots in my heart and lungs and he never came to see me lmao.
#58
We had the song "kiss with a fist" by Florence and The Machine as our love song, he did time before, for beating up two different girlfriends prior. So... fall absolutely in love with him.
#59
He was the first person who asked to hear about my traumatic childhood, which would have been healing for me had he not repurposed those stories into his own to win poetry slams. Started saving up to leave, but didn’t yet. Later when we broke up he was so excited to try to kick me out of the house. When our roommates stood up for me he ostracized me from the poet community by claiming I abused him.
#60
I hadn’t slept more than 20mins at a time for 9 straight days due to COVID that he refused to take seriously. I asked him to please stay home from a birthday party to help with the kids. He freaked out on me, left anyway, didn’t check in for 12 hours, and ignored my calls. I had to call his sister to make sure he hadn’t d**d in a wreck or something. He also threatened to divorce me and caused a panic attack during that illness bc I asked him to sweep the kitchen.
#61
I was yelled at and lectured for about 2 hours on wasting food because I was blanching dried beans and forgot about them…and he was cleaning out the fridge at the end of the week and found them. The dried bag of beans didn’t even cost a dollar.
#62
I was 19 years old and dating a man and he told me he was serious about me but also left his dating profiles up because “I paid for 6 months of this right before I met you”. That was the first of many many red flags.
#63
He took me to Sephora on our anniversary. Bought $100s of dollars of skincare. For himself.
#64
I bought a gift for his friend’s wedding. I paid our rent. Paid for our drinks at the bar w his friends. Bought smokes. Filled both our cars w gas… One of my girlfriends from work text me about a last minute bday dinner. I asked if he’d bring me some money the day before. He said yes, no problem. The night of. I get ready. Go to him for cash? $10. I argued that was nowhere near enough, I’d paid for most of our stuff, especially rent. He! Picked me up and threw me into the Christmas tree.
#65
“You’re lucky i’m too stupid to cheat” he never did, but he sure was right about being stupid.
#66
My boyfriend of several years got drunk (he was often drunk) and picked me up and started playing around like he was going to throw me in the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. I was screaming and crying for him to put me down. I know he wasn’t actually trying to throw me in there, but he could easily have lost his grip on me. I should have dumped him right then. But I was young and stupid.
#67
We were out shopping. He liked picking out my clothes. (control much??) I was in the dressing room, and the sales gal brought in things to try on that he picked. Is he your husband?" she asked. "Yep," I said. She comes in with more clothes."So. He's your husband? How long you been married" 6 years, I said. She comes in again, "So. You're SURE you're married?" "Yeah" I said. She gives me the side-eye, and asks me again every time she comes in. So MUCH wrong here, I know! Live and learn!
#69
He asked me if I studied film in college because I correctly identified actress Meryl Streep.
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