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Businessman Thinks It’s Alright To Comment On This Woman’s Appearance During Their Business Lunch, She Has None Of It And Leaves
Interview
Knowing how to stand up for yourself at all times is an important skill that comes in handy in various situations. Of course, that becomes hard to do when we’re presented with an uncommon situation when someone is clearly overstepping their boundaries and making us feel uncomfortable. A lot of us have probably heard how many women get harassed or even abused in various places, even those that are known to them and where they should feel comfortable. Having in mind how important it is to talk about such situations, TikTok user @duchessofdecorum decided to share her recent experience of having a business lunch with a 70-year-old man who decided it was an appropriate time to talk about the woman’s… nails. Pattie Ehsaei, who is behind this TikTok account, went viral with almost 955K views after revealing more details about how this clearly unsuccessful meeting went.
More Info: TikTok
RELATED:
Most of us realize that formal surroundings such as work events or business meetings aren’t a place to discuss one’s looks
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
Pattie Ehsaei is a keynote speaker and content creator talking about financial literacy, “social and workplace decorum”, and with this information distributed through various media platforms, empowers women. Ehsaei, who has 974K followers on TikTok from sharing useful information on the aforementioned topics, also decided to take an opportunity after going through a bizarre meeting to turn it into a valuable lesson that would encourage other people to not be silent when someone is making them uncomfortable with unnecessary remarks.
TikTok user decided to share how she received a sexist comment during a business lunch and encourage other women to not ignore such behaviors
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
The woman revealed that during their meeting a 70-year-old man “advised” her grow her nails longer
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
In her TikTok story, the woman showed herself in the car, frustrated. She revealed that she just left a business lunch that she attended with this 70-year-old man. The content creator admitted that her old self would’ve left the whole situation as it was and not have said a thing, but she felt that she was tired of old white men allowing themselves to throw random sexist comments at women. Ehsaei shared that in the middle of the lunch, the man suggested that she should grow her nails longer. This remark took the woman by surprise, so she asked him once again to repeat his thought as she didn’t quite understood what he meant by that. So the man repeated his comment by saying that she should have longer nails. The TikToker then asked why he thinks she should do so, and he admitted that in his mind, women are more attractive when they have longer nails.
This comment about her nails made the content creator irritated as she was appalled by his audacity to talk about her looks
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
Despite the remark being inappropriate, the woman proceeded to continue the conversation by asking him why he thinks his opinion about her nails should matter to her. The businessman seemed to soon lose control of the conversation by admitting that he was “just saying” those things. The woman didn’t let this all slide, so she confronted him by saying that what is alarming is that he thinks it’s totally normal to talk with a woman that way because he has done it so many times and got away with it, also reminding him that he would never talk about a person’s appearance if it was a man sitting next to him. After this, Ehsaei ended the conversation by stating that they were “done now” and walking out of the lunch meeting.
The woman didn’t hold back and told him what she thinks about him and his unnecessary remark
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
The TikTok user finished her talk by encouraging other women to call out such behavior and not be intimidated or silenced by inappropriate comments. A lot of people online supported the creator of the video and even made some jokes about the guy in question after remembering the mentioned flaws in his own appearance.
Bored Panda contacted the content creator to find out more insights on the matter. The woman, whose main goal is to help people “reach their dreams of owning their own business”, revealed that she wasn’t that surprised to see that her video became viral as she knows that a lot of women encounter misogyny daily, so they can relate to Ehsaei’s situation.
The content creator has also shared another video telling about another time she was harassed by a man that perhaps didn’t even realize that he was doing so, shedding some more light on this serious problem. When asked how often TikTok user receives sexist remarks, Ehsaei shared: “It’s gotten much better after the ‘Me Too’ movement. Now, 30% of the time.”
After she berated the man, the TikTok user walked out of the place
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
The video was made to encourage other women to say something when they find themselves in a similar situation
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
What could be done in this case? For employees, it’s important to know that they can trust their managers and the company by knowing that they will take certain actions if something happens to them. Often times the person who suffers this harassment might think that what’s happening to them is not serious enough or someone else says that it’s all in their head, so it’s crucial to be brave enough and stand up for yourself in times like these because it might also encourage someone else to speak up. “The only way these situations will end is if we do not tolerate them and speak up about them. If you don’t speak up, you’re perpetuating the problem, which gets women nowhere,” concluded the speaker.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Don’t forget to leave it in the comment section down below!
Image credits: 70023venus2009 (not the actual photo)
You can watch the full video down below!
@duchessofdecorum Ladies, don’t accept this disrespect! #workplacedecorum#femaleempowerment#finance#storytime#womeninbusiness♬ Luxury fashion (no vocals) – TimTaj
A lot of people online supported the user and even made some funny remarks about the businessman and his looks
Image credits: duchessofdecorum
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Allison B 3 years ago
Guy needs to learn to keep his mouth shut especially when it comes to sexist comments like that! If you think something fine. That doesn't mean the whole world needs to know! Creepy old guy.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
"I find longer nails more attractive" "Grow your own, don't let anyone stop you girl!"
Don Hummy 3 years ago
Don't get me wrong, but the guy is wrong. But her comments start off with judging his appearance, so seems a bit double sided. I feel like she is mad that he made a comment about her appearance (which he was out of line for even doing), but her rant involves his appearance. She could have said "this older sales guy". Instead she hits at his appearance from the beginning. She is right to call him out, but she could have simply told him that this is simply unacceptable and sexist to make these comments.
Big Chungus 3 years ago
I was thinking the same thing. He is definitely wrong for even mentioning her nails or appearance in general during a professional meeting, but if she talked to him the way she describes then isn't she doing the same thing?
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Nizumi 3 years ago (edited)
Guy in his 60s, balding, pudgy, suit, has the taxi stop in the bike lane so he can be 10 ft closer to where he want to go because it was raining. I'm cycling to work. I stop at the driver's window and tell him he shouldn't do that as the police could give him a ticket. 60 year old suit pipes in, in condescending tones, "Sweetheart, I told him to stop here." I looked him dead in the eye and replied, "Honey cheeks, I wasn't talking to *you*. " ... I must've had extra strong coffee that morning, I'm not usually that quick with a response...
Captain Az 3 years ago
When you're constantly dealing with c**p like this you ultimately wind up having a shorter fuse. Upon having a similar experience yesterday, in a school setting as a minority female student with a 50+ year old white male substitute teacher trying to convince me I didn't need to go to college once I graduated becuse I should focus on getting married and having children (who tf buts into a conversation of teenage girls and tells them their life plans are wrong and they should be looking forward to popping out babies and that is their only purpose in life?), I fully commend her response and think she could have been even more curt and direct and still be completely in the right. The way someone looks/behaves/acts/plans to live their life is not an acceptable topic to be lectured on by someone who doesn't chare your life experience nor have a relationship that makes that in any way appropriat, ecspeccially in the wrong setting as well.
No Name 3 years ago
Gross. That guy must've been one of those Quiverfull underage bride groomers.
Load More Replies... King Joffrey 3 years ago
She was definitely right for calling out his idiotic comment but I also think she overreacted.
Naesil 🇫🇮 3 years ago
I think the same, its ok to call out these old time dudes who still live in past times sexists mindset, but she definitely went above and beyond.. if we swap the genders, lets say older business woman comment younger guy on business meeting, like you should wear tighter suit, it would show of your physique better and I like that more, and then if the guy goes on the rant how fat and ugly old hag she was that would be overreaction in most peoples mind.
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Rachel Reynolds 3 years ago
I once had a coworker suggest that I should try wearing lipstick at work. I'm a mechanic...
Stephanie Paich 3 years ago
Both of these people are idiots. What a hypocrite she is for doing nothing but talking about his appearance but then having a fit when he says something about hers. Also, telling a woman she would look more attractive by doing X isn't "sexist" it's just plain rude and unprofessional in a work environment.
Greta Kolding 3 years ago
Off topic, but does anyone else find it annoying when people constantly use "I was like" and "he was like" instead of "I said" - "he said"?
Appalachian Panda 3 years ago
I was momentarily confused by "I was like calculating pie in my head." I thought she meant she as anticipating dessert.
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Ka Se 3 years ago
I wonder if there were more less dramatic ways to show the old guy what was wrong with it. I would favor something like Karen Kren mentioned as reply or to reply that you think this comment is inappropriate and therefore you will end this business meeting.
Captain Az 3 years ago (edited)
When you're constantly dealing with c**p like this you ultimately wind up having a shorter fuse. Upon having a similar experience yesterday, in a school setting as a minority female student with a 50+ year old white male substitute teacher trying to convince me I didn't need to go to college once I graduated becuse I should focus on getting married and having children (who tf buts into a conversation of teenage girls and tells them their life plans are wrong and they should be looking forward to popping out babies and that is their only purpose in life?), I fully commend her response and think she could have been even more curt and direct and still be completely in the right. The way someone looks/behaves/acts/plans to live their life is not an acceptable topic to be lectured on by someone who doesn't chare your life experience nor have a relationship that makes that in any way appropriat, ecspeccially in the wrong setting as well.
Load More Replies...
Keley Babs 3 years ago
In professional settings, if you wouldn't say it to a man, then DON'T SAY IT TO A WOMAN!!
Billie Sue Patrick 3 years ago
I admit I only read a few pages of comments, but the consensus appears to favor the woman. I think she overreacted and behaved unprofessionally. I agree that the man should have kept his opinion about her nails to himself, but it was an innocuous, off hand remark until she made a big deal out of it. There are multiple ways she could have conveyed her distaste for his comment like a rational adult instead of acting like a petulant adolescent. People are going to say things you don't like or find offensive. Most of the time all you've got to do is pointedly ignore it. If the other person is a little slow on the uptake and you have to escalate, just look them in the eye and say some version of "I don't know why you would think it's OK to ask/tell me that." In the light of day, virtually every sober, adult male will get it. You've made your point and kept your dignity. Her tirade was much worse than what he said and just made her look bad.
Fiona Matthews 3 years ago
I wouldn't have degraded him with adjectives like old, bald, and chubby. We can do a better job of making a point with out being mean.
KayKay 2 years ago
Yes, she should have sat there, smiled, been polite and let herself be degraded. I mean, we wouldn't want to make the MAN feel uncomfortable, would we?
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Lisa Bluford 3 years ago
I think her response was more unprofessional than his comment. Had he suggested shorter skirts, or commented on her breasts perhaps, but fingernails? He's welcome to his opinion.
No Name 3 years ago (edited)
This reads like wish fulfillment and not a real story. A guy with that little impulse control is liable to get abusive in public, or find other ways to retaliate later, and most women know that viscerally. Plus, idk about you, but I could not be that coherent after something that weird and upsetting.
Ann Mohrmann 3 years ago
Grow them superlong, and offer to give him a handjob. His opinion will change right quick!
Yvette Desmarais 3 years ago
Thats a good response as long as you don't have anything to lose by pudding off the guy. Usually they know we do so we have to stay quiet.
Lynda Britz 2 years ago
This is all wrong. His comment was uncalled for, but her venomous response - ‘chubby, balding, old’ is absurd. What was the meeting for? Surely not to lacerate each other. What business could be achieved after that? The man is 70, and manners have changed considerably in his lifetime. She was incredibly rude!
Nancy Silberger 2 years ago
so this guy is 70 years old, comes from a completely different time where he probably thinks he was complimenting her in his own way. To get that upset over a comment about her nails is ridiculous. He's from a different era and wrong as he may have. been, I think the woman completely overreacted. I don't tolerate sexist comments from men when they should know, better. I wasn't there, so I can't comment on his tone and how it was said but, again, he's an old f****r, so just move on and get over it!!
Janet C 2 years ago
100% in support of her. We've spent too many generations raising girls to "be nice" and "just go along" and "don't make waves" and "keep the peace". ALL women need to stop tolerating this sexist b******t. No, we aren't flattered. No, it's not "nothing". No, it's not OK. Ever. We aren't your eye candy. We aren't your servants. We aren't your playthings. We ARE tired of the BS rules we were raised to follow with respect to our behavior and responses to inappropriate things said/done to us.
Andrea Steinacher 2 years ago
some women are sexists too - my former boss, a woman about my age, between 40 and 50, called my cord trousers not fashionable enough (a delivery job, done by car, in winter) but the male coworker in his 30ties in jogging pants with flipflops (for driving a car???) was called "cute"
Not always popular 3 years ago
What if an older woman said to a younger man "I think you should grow a beard"? Would you think that was sexist? I'm not saying he was right at all but it can and does to both ways.
Conan Maschingon 3 years ago
this is stupid and she looks like a clown, stop making these stupid tick tocks for clout with these made-up stories where everyone clapped moment that only women suck up and believe
Sanchi 3 years ago
Yea that’s what we have been doing for years, and men still make rude comments like that. We are tired of being calm and why do we need toexplain to then what is right and what is wrong?
Load More Replies... lenka 3 years ago (edited)
This was not a horrible nasty comment. This was a man who felt he was entitled to tell a women (during a business lunch no less) how she should look because his viewing pleasure is more important than her identity and comfort.
Load More Replies...
Potato 3 years ago
But also, I think the color looks great on her. Does that negate your opinion? Yes and no, because neither your nor my opinion matters. You don't like that shade? Don't wear it.
Load More Replies...
Allison B 3 years ago
Guy needs to learn to keep his mouth shut especially when it comes to sexist comments like that! If you think something fine. That doesn't mean the whole world needs to know! Creepy old guy.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
"I find longer nails more attractive" "Grow your own, don't let anyone stop you girl!"
Don Hummy 3 years ago
Don't get me wrong, but the guy is wrong. But her comments start off with judging his appearance, so seems a bit double sided. I feel like she is mad that he made a comment about her appearance (which he was out of line for even doing), but her rant involves his appearance. She could have said "this older sales guy". Instead she hits at his appearance from the beginning. She is right to call him out, but she could have simply told him that this is simply unacceptable and sexist to make these comments.
Big Chungus 3 years ago
I was thinking the same thing. He is definitely wrong for even mentioning her nails or appearance in general during a professional meeting, but if she talked to him the way she describes then isn't she doing the same thing?
Load More Replies... Nizumi 3 years ago (edited)
Guy in his 60s, balding, pudgy, suit, has the taxi stop in the bike lane so he can be 10 ft closer to where he want to go because it was raining. I'm cycling to work. I stop at the driver's window and tell him he shouldn't do that as the police could give him a ticket. 60 year old suit pipes in, in condescending tones, "Sweetheart, I told him to stop here." I looked him dead in the eye and replied, "Honey cheeks, I wasn't talking to *you*. " ... I must've had extra strong coffee that morning, I'm not usually that quick with a response...
Captain Az 3 years ago
When you're constantly dealing with c**p like this you ultimately wind up having a shorter fuse. Upon having a similar experience yesterday, in a school setting as a minority female student with a 50+ year old white male substitute teacher trying to convince me I didn't need to go to college once I graduated becuse I should focus on getting married and having children (who tf buts into a conversation of teenage girls and tells them their life plans are wrong and they should be looking forward to popping out babies and that is their only purpose in life?), I fully commend her response and think she could have been even more curt and direct and still be completely in the right. The way someone looks/behaves/acts/plans to live their life is not an acceptable topic to be lectured on by someone who doesn't chare your life experience nor have a relationship that makes that in any way appropriat, ecspeccially in the wrong setting as well.
No Name 3 years ago
Gross. That guy must've been one of those Quiverfull underage bride groomers.
Load More Replies... King Joffrey 3 years ago
She was definitely right for calling out his idiotic comment but I also think she overreacted.
Naesil 🇫🇮 3 years ago
I think the same, its ok to call out these old time dudes who still live in past times sexists mindset, but she definitely went above and beyond.. if we swap the genders, lets say older business woman comment younger guy on business meeting, like you should wear tighter suit, it would show of your physique better and I like that more, and then if the guy goes on the rant how fat and ugly old hag she was that would be overreaction in most peoples mind.
Load More Replies... Rachel Reynolds 3 years ago
I once had a coworker suggest that I should try wearing lipstick at work. I'm a mechanic...
Stephanie Paich 3 years ago
Both of these people are idiots. What a hypocrite she is for doing nothing but talking about his appearance but then having a fit when he says something about hers. Also, telling a woman she would look more attractive by doing X isn't "sexist" it's just plain rude and unprofessional in a work environment.
Greta Kolding 3 years ago
Off topic, but does anyone else find it annoying when people constantly use "I was like" and "he was like" instead of "I said" - "he said"?
Appalachian Panda 3 years ago
I was momentarily confused by "I was like calculating pie in my head." I thought she meant she as anticipating dessert.
Load More Replies... Ka Se 3 years ago
I wonder if there were more less dramatic ways to show the old guy what was wrong with it. I would favor something like Karen Kren mentioned as reply or to reply that you think this comment is inappropriate and therefore you will end this business meeting.
Captain Az 3 years ago (edited)
When you're constantly dealing with c**p like this you ultimately wind up having a shorter fuse. Upon having a similar experience yesterday, in a school setting as a minority female student with a 50+ year old white male substitute teacher trying to convince me I didn't need to go to college once I graduated becuse I should focus on getting married and having children (who tf buts into a conversation of teenage girls and tells them their life plans are wrong and they should be looking forward to popping out babies and that is their only purpose in life?), I fully commend her response and think she could have been even more curt and direct and still be completely in the right. The way someone looks/behaves/acts/plans to live their life is not an acceptable topic to be lectured on by someone who doesn't chare your life experience nor have a relationship that makes that in any way appropriat, ecspeccially in the wrong setting as well.
Load More Replies... Keley Babs 3 years ago
In professional settings, if you wouldn't say it to a man, then DON'T SAY IT TO A WOMAN!!
Billie Sue Patrick 3 years ago
I admit I only read a few pages of comments, but the consensus appears to favor the woman. I think she overreacted and behaved unprofessionally. I agree that the man should have kept his opinion about her nails to himself, but it was an innocuous, off hand remark until she made a big deal out of it. There are multiple ways she could have conveyed her distaste for his comment like a rational adult instead of acting like a petulant adolescent. People are going to say things you don't like or find offensive. Most of the time all you've got to do is pointedly ignore it. If the other person is a little slow on the uptake and you have to escalate, just look them in the eye and say some version of "I don't know why you would think it's OK to ask/tell me that." In the light of day, virtually every sober, adult male will get it. You've made your point and kept your dignity. Her tirade was much worse than what he said and just made her look bad.
Fiona Matthews 3 years ago
I wouldn't have degraded him with adjectives like old, bald, and chubby. We can do a better job of making a point with out being mean.
KayKay 2 years ago
Yes, she should have sat there, smiled, been polite and let herself be degraded. I mean, we wouldn't want to make the MAN feel uncomfortable, would we?
Load More Replies... Lisa Bluford 3 years ago
I think her response was more unprofessional than his comment. Had he suggested shorter skirts, or commented on her breasts perhaps, but fingernails? He's welcome to his opinion.
No Name 3 years ago (edited)
This reads like wish fulfillment and not a real story. A guy with that little impulse control is liable to get abusive in public, or find other ways to retaliate later, and most women know that viscerally. Plus, idk about you, but I could not be that coherent after something that weird and upsetting.
Ann Mohrmann 3 years ago
Grow them superlong, and offer to give him a handjob. His opinion will change right quick!
Yvette Desmarais 3 years ago
Thats a good response as long as you don't have anything to lose by pudding off the guy. Usually they know we do so we have to stay quiet.
Lynda Britz 2 years ago
This is all wrong. His comment was uncalled for, but her venomous response - ‘chubby, balding, old’ is absurd. What was the meeting for? Surely not to lacerate each other. What business could be achieved after that? The man is 70, and manners have changed considerably in his lifetime. She was incredibly rude!
Nancy Silberger 2 years ago
so this guy is 70 years old, comes from a completely different time where he probably thinks he was complimenting her in his own way. To get that upset over a comment about her nails is ridiculous. He's from a different era and wrong as he may have. been, I think the woman completely overreacted. I don't tolerate sexist comments from men when they should know, better. I wasn't there, so I can't comment on his tone and how it was said but, again, he's an old f****r, so just move on and get over it!!
Janet C 2 years ago
100% in support of her. We've spent too many generations raising girls to "be nice" and "just go along" and "don't make waves" and "keep the peace". ALL women need to stop tolerating this sexist b******t. No, we aren't flattered. No, it's not "nothing". No, it's not OK. Ever. We aren't your eye candy. We aren't your servants. We aren't your playthings. We ARE tired of the BS rules we were raised to follow with respect to our behavior and responses to inappropriate things said/done to us.
Andrea Steinacher 2 years ago
some women are sexists too - my former boss, a woman about my age, between 40 and 50, called my cord trousers not fashionable enough (a delivery job, done by car, in winter) but the male coworker in his 30ties in jogging pants with flipflops (for driving a car???) was called "cute"
Not always popular 3 years ago
What if an older woman said to a younger man "I think you should grow a beard"? Would you think that was sexist? I'm not saying he was right at all but it can and does to both ways.
Conan Maschingon 3 years ago
this is stupid and she looks like a clown, stop making these stupid tick tocks for clout with these made-up stories where everyone clapped moment that only women suck up and believe
Sanchi 3 years ago
Yea that’s what we have been doing for years, and men still make rude comments like that. We are tired of being calm and why do we need toexplain to then what is right and what is wrong?
Load More Replies... lenka 3 years ago (edited)
This was not a horrible nasty comment. This was a man who felt he was entitled to tell a women (during a business lunch no less) how she should look because his viewing pleasure is more important than her identity and comfort.
Load More Replies... Potato 3 years ago
But also, I think the color looks great on her. Does that negate your opinion? Yes and no, because neither your nor my opinion matters. You don't like that shade? Don't wear it.
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