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Living a good, purposeful, and meaningful life is something that most of us aspire to do. However, sometimes analysis paralysis sets in when you see so much overwhelming advice floating around online. One way to tackle this issue is to consider which things you’d probably regret (not) doing as the years roll by.
Internet user April (@a.badu_) recently went viral on Threads, Instagram’s app where everyone can share public conversations, after asking women who are 30 and over to reveal their top mistakes in life. April’s goal was to help young women out so they don’t make other people’s blunders. You’ll find everyone's helpful advice as you scroll down.
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#1
Sue Denham 10 months ago
Yes! Think of the person and how they treat you and ask yourself "If we weren't related is this someone I'd choose to have around me?".
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#2
Karen Terry 10 months ago
This. Any one who speaks poorly of every ex… there is a common denominator
Lila Allen 10 months ago
Agreed. Speak badly of one specific ex for reasons totally ok... say nasty things about all of them and it's a big ol red flag
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SirWriteALot 10 months ago
Meh ... not sure. Depends on how many. If ALL of them are (supposedly) crazy something is up
SkippityBoppityBoo 9 months ago
I've been accused of being "mentally ill", "crazy" by my ex... Accused of a few other things such as deliberately scratching his car. Erm, nope, never happened... But Darling? If I WAS ever to scratch your car? I wouldn't just do two little scratches just on the passenger side door. I'd do it aaaall along the side with a craft knife over all the doors and side panels. That's way more expensive than two tiny scratches on the side door... Just Sayin 👍🙂
Charlie Haase 9 months ago
But a specific ex being a nut job doesn’t mean the guy is a bad apple.
Pittsburgh rare 10 months ago
I know someone who had "attracting oddballs" as part of his online dating profile. He used less agreeable terms to define them in person. He turned out to be the most toxic m**********r I've ever met. A pathological liar if I've ever seen one.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 10 months ago
I feel attacked because mine literally are. Why the hell do I keep dating witches and vampires?
Orysha 10 months ago
What's wrong with witches and vampires? Now I want to date a vampire witch, proud of yourself? :P
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Deborah B 10 months ago
Expect 85% "We just wanted different things/weren't compatible/fell out of love." Minimum. If all his exes are crazy, either he's abusive or a narcissist, or he's attracted to the drama of "crazy." If he is, and you're not, he's going to cheat on you with "crazy" to get that thrill.
The discussion went viral very quickly. At the time of writing, April’s post on Threads had 10k likes, over 3.1k comments, and over 785 reshares. The author said that she was surprised by how “this blew up overnight.” She said she was “overwhelmed with the responses” and promised to read through every single person’s replies.
Bored Panda has reached out to April, and we’ll update our article once we hear back from her.
#5
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Depend on people trying to help you with a problem. Develop independence from the person presenting the problem.
As a rule of thumb, people tend to regret the things they didn’t do rather than the mistakes they’ve made. Whatever you choose to do for work or school, there are a few non-negotiables that everyone should prioritize—your social life, health, and fitness. And they form a solid foundation that you can rely on to make the most of life. When you have a strong social circle that supports you and you’re physically and mentally fit, you can take advantage of more opportunities, bouncing back quicker after any defeats.
#8
Michael Largey 10 months ago
I use "Sorry, no. But thanks so much for the compliment!" I omitted the second sentence when the father of one of my students invited me to a meeting of his religious cult (Opus Dei).
After decades and decades of research, scientists at Harvard found that it’s your positive relationships that make you happier, healthier, and help you live longer—not exercise, healthy eating, money, or your career achievements.
That’s not to say that looking after your health isn’t important (it is!) or that you shouldn’t budget, save, and invest (you should!), but simply that your social fitness is extremely valuable.
In short, when you consistently invest in maintaining meaningful relationships and minimize interactions with negative people, you become more resilient to stress.
#10
Pittsburgh rare 10 months ago (edited)
Oh, he has! He just hasn't informed his wife 🙄 Jeez, the popularity of polyamori is a godsend for those mfs
#11
Alecto76 10 months ago
After living through my dad wiping out my parents' joint bank accounts and leaving, and my mom being mostly a homemaker - I will never rely on anyone for money. I vowed to always make my own, no one touches it, its always separate, and enough to support me and whoever relies on me (cats). Currently, my mother is married to a wealthy man. She is taken care of, but he uses his money to control her. Money is freedom. As much as I want to respect stay at home moms, I can't help but see the danger in it.
Dr. Robert Waldinger, the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, noted that there is a strong association between happiness and close relationships with spouses, family, friends, and social circles.
“Personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters, while isolation is a mood buster.”
#13
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Appropriate and beneficial self-focus has nothing to do with selfishness. If it does, you're doing it wrong.
#15
Jay Scales 10 months ago
Goes along with 'Look after your teeth'.... Your older self will thank you for both!
Meanwhile, when it comes to your health, aim to sleep between 7 and 8 hours every night, drink 2 to 3 liters of water daily, and aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity per week.
The CDC also recommends that adults need at least 2 days of muscle-strengthening activity each week.
What you don’t do also matters. You should avoid drinking alcohol, smoking, and eating ultra-processed foods.
No matter who you are, the clearer you are about your values and goals in life, the easier it is for you to make better decisions. On the flip side, if you don’t know what you want or what you stand for, you’re likely to go with the flow and end up in situations that might not be optimal.
For instance, if you theoretically value your family and time with loved ones but barely find any time for them due to your work, you need to either prioritize your relationships again or be honest with yourself about the importance of your financial and career goals.
#19
Jaya 10 months ago
And this is also true for your parents, kids, friends, neighbours. That's why you should never be a fake alibi for a partner/friend/family member who is accused of sexual abuse. Just because someone is an angel towards you, doesn't mean they're not a devil towards someone else.
#20
Surly Scot 10 months ago
Lol, i first read this as 'decanter'. Pour those men from the bottle and let them aerate.
#21
Of course, it’s impossible to perfectly ‘optimize’ your life, and you’ll end up making mistakes either way. But if you see failure as a learning opportunity, you can pivot toward where you want to go instead of beating yourself up over having stumbled a bit. Newsflash—everyone, absolutely everyone, messes up sooner or later.
It’s healthiest to embrace what’s happened and move on. Otherwise, you’ll end up feeling guilty and haunted by your past every step of the way.
Doing things ‘well enough’ instead of ‘perfectly’ can leave you with more time, energy, and resources for other endeavors so you can enjoy yourself. Sometimes, trying to get the best possible outcome in every area of your life is, paradoxically, worse for you because you’ll end up exhausted. This approach, called ‘satisficing,’ is a decision-making strategy where you aim for satisfactory results rather than optimal solutions. And it's something that not only companies and managers do, but regular people can also apply to their lives to get good results without burning out. You can apply this when it comes to your finances, career, fitness, relationships, and, well, anything else you care about.
“Instead of putting maximum exertion toward attaining the ideal outcome, satisficing focuses on pragmatic effort when confronted with tasks. This is because aiming for the optimal solution may necessitate a needless expenditure of time, energy, and resources,” Investopedia explains.
#26
Veronica Scoggins 10 months ago
I mean, I did this. And all I got out of it was a husband of five years and two beautiful little boys.
Satisficing, as a decision-making process, was a term first coined in 1956 by US scientist and Nobel laureate Herbert Simon. The general idea is that consumers facing a large number of choices will opt for something that is ‘good enough’ and that satisfies their main minimum needs instead of wasting too much time and energy on looking for what might objectively be the ‘best.’
However, satisficing, as a process, isn’t bulletproof. It’s not quite clear what a satisfactory result entails exactly. It’s also not clear how the end result differs from pursuing an optimal outcome. But broadly speaking, satisficers have an internal threshold in their minds that, once met, makes them choose something. Meanwhile, maximizers conduct an exhaustive search of options at a bigger cost.
When applied to your relationships, health, career, etc., satisficing can motivate you to invest in what’s necessary without waiting for the ‘perfect’ moment to do so. Doing even a bit of a good thing is far better than doing nothing, after all.
#29
#30
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 10 months ago
Cohabitation has NEVER worked for me. I know it's me at this point.
What are the biggest mistakes you’ve made in life that you hope others don’t repeat? What life advice or safety tips would you give total strangers or even yourself if you could travel back in time?
What healthy habits do you personally think are the most vital for anyone to have? Let us know what you think!
#33
Pittsburgh rare 10 months ago
Ouch. This one hit TOO close to home. Love my child trying to forget who their father is, because fortunately they didn't inherit anything from him but the nose.
#35
Michael Largey 10 months ago
In the early 1970s, my mom worked for a large company who told her "Sorry, maam, but we've promoted you as far as we promote a woman." (That was legal then.) She was out of there in two weeks, slamming the door so hard that the windows in that building must still be vibrating.
#37
Michael Largey 10 months ago
And don't choose a degree or a career with the assumption that you are going to get a man.
#39
#40
Jaq Jack 10 months ago
Any relationship can be abusive. My ex mother in law was super abusive, and manipulative. We lived in her house and every paycheck of ours went straight into her pocket . We were forced to apply for food stamps and the card for it was in her wallet. Saving to try to get out was impossible. Eventually she resorted to violence against me and I had to escape. Any relationship can be abusive. And just because it’s peaceful the majority of the time doesn’t make it ok to be abused some of the time
#41
Jac Carr 10 months ago
Also, don't call every toxic a*****e a narcissist. They're actually quite rare but giving your average horrible person a medical title means you're just excusing your own poor choices because what chance did poor little you have against a narcissist? The red flags were there and you know it. Tough words I know but are they true?
#46
#47
#59
#65
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#73
Shelley Keenan 10 months ago
I knew within 48 hours he was the one. I was 22. Very happily married 16 years later.
#79
Fellfromthemoon 10 months ago
I'm a woman, I dropped out vet uni, I went to a different uni (STEMI), now I have a PhD.
#85
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What do you think ?
Jay Scales 10 months ago
So many of these are obvious to those of us who have made mistakes. But when you're young you don't see it so clearly. 'I'm different'. 'He's different'. 'It will be different for us....' NO, it won't. LISTEN to those who've been there - PLEASE.
Tammy Grogloth 10 months ago
As an old woman now the most important advice I would give to any other woman is....BE SAFE. Above all else put your safety first.
Gianna B D 9 months ago
Hey younger women dating much older men, when an older woman tells you that a big reason why your man wants you is because you're too young and inexperienced to know if he's manipulating you, she is *not* saying that because she's "jealous" of your "high-value" man. She's saying that because you're too young and inexperienced to know if he's manipulating you.
Šimon Špaček 10 months ago
Your colleagues are your colleagues. They are not your family and often not really your friends. I mean, you like to see them, you talk about work things and sometimes personal things, you do small favours for each other (like switching shifts or bring each other a coffee), but if you do not go for a beer after work or call them when you have a personal problem (except switching shift), they are not your friends, only colleagues. You don't own them staying in the toxic job that underpays you all. Feel free to leave. Send your CV wherever you can, take a free week, spend first day taking care of yourself and then go to interviewes. The hardest part is realizing that you have to leave AND that you can leave. It is hard, but it is worth it.
Jay Scales 10 months ago
So many of these are obvious to those of us who have made mistakes. But when you're young you don't see it so clearly. 'I'm different'. 'He's different'. 'It will be different for us....' NO, it won't. LISTEN to those who've been there - PLEASE.
Tammy Grogloth 10 months ago
As an old woman now the most important advice I would give to any other woman is....BE SAFE. Above all else put your safety first.
Gianna B D 9 months ago
Hey younger women dating much older men, when an older woman tells you that a big reason why your man wants you is because you're too young and inexperienced to know if he's manipulating you, she is *not* saying that because she's "jealous" of your "high-value" man. She's saying that because you're too young and inexperienced to know if he's manipulating you.
Šimon Špaček 10 months ago
Your colleagues are your colleagues. They are not your family and often not really your friends. I mean, you like to see them, you talk about work things and sometimes personal things, you do small favours for each other (like switching shifts or bring each other a coffee), but if you do not go for a beer after work or call them when you have a personal problem (except switching shift), they are not your friends, only colleagues. You don't own them staying in the toxic job that underpays you all. Feel free to leave. Send your CV wherever you can, take a free week, spend first day taking care of yourself and then go to interviewes. The hardest part is realizing that you have to leave AND that you can leave. It is hard, but it is worth it.
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