Women Are Sharing The Gruesome Mental Loads They Carry In Silence

It's like work never ends

The problem with "a man's home is his castle" is it assumes the man is the king. Kings don't have to take care of their own castle, they have others do that for him. Both spouses have to put in equal effort to make the home a place they want to be. And if it isn't a relaxing space for one of them, then go out and explore the world instead. Find a different safe space together. But don't expect one partner to be The Help and the other to be the King.

For a while, being at work was actually my escape.

I definitely feel this one!!!!!!!

And that's why I kicked out my lazy childish husband 😃

You are a better person than me. I would probably get him institutionalized.

In some countries there is help to get for situations like this, and it will be better for the child to get professional help rather than have a parent who hates their life. If that means that the child has to live in a home where he can get help then that may be the best solution, because this doesn't sound like it's working for anyone.

This list is thoroughly depressing.

We had to institutionalize our son when he turned 18 when he turned berserk towards his mum for some ice cream (police was called...). I'll always say my ex-wife is a saint to deal with such a case. I, for one, had to leave since thoughts of unaliving myself became more and more intrusive. The whole mess effed up his sister's life as well, as the mother was so engulfed in dealing with our constantly needing son.... Man, I could tell so many bad situations that occurred through this situation. I don't wish that to my worst enemy really...

Please please please look into autism advocacy groups & care facilities in your area. Not all places have them, but there are more out there than you can possibly imagine. Many of them offer a type of learning/daycare where you can place your child or adult child during the day. Most of them are free, covered by insurance, or covered by grants/donations. There are usually people there who are specially skilled in helping us learn how to navigate the world w/ a brain that functions differently. Although I am high-functioning, it took a lot to get me to where I am today. I used to touch/follow random people if I liked something about them, I would get mesmerized. I was a keener, and would have meltdowns, and so on. Looking back, with the coping & better social skills I have today, I can't imagine how tough it was for my parents. I am so grateful that they tried their best, & when it got to be overwhelming they sought help. I still occasionally go to adult social group and I'm now 39.

THIS!

I've been there done that..it does get better, have hope. My kids now call me the hardest working badassed parent they have even seen (yeah I was a single mom of 3). They'll do anything for me now. (-;

This world is getting worse every day. If it wasn't for a low mortgage payment, I notvsure how I would be able to make it myself.

Glen Ellyn

Glen Ellyn

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You're not alone! I remember having just $25 to feed my three children and me for a week - more than once. Lots of soup, sandwiches, and spaghetti those weeks.

Do you go to the food banks? You’re going to need to reach out and look and ask for help to get ahead. Keep doing that til you get to a point where maybe you can save a few dollars a week.

I'm with you on this. Remember, you're worthy, always were and always will be, regardless of your struggles, you are worth ap much more than these feelings evoke. I've been through similar and have the same, whether you're able to believe it or not but you are worth the world and I hope this reaches you well and can crack some sunshine in there, this life is tough enough without these things but you are doing better than you know and I am proud of your achievements, keep going, you deserve the world and more.

I have PTSD too, so tired. You are getting better, I’m sure of it, I have to keep reminding myself how far I’ve come and how many Benzos I’ve weaned off. We can do this!!!!!!!!!❤️

I feel this

This is a great reason why some people should simply keep their mouth shut about someone else's reproductive plans (or lack thereof). I look forward to a day when women aren't constantly asked about when they're having children, or why don't they want children, etc.

Why do you tolerate this interrogation? Shut that sh*t down.

Simply say "I couldn't stand losing another one." That should shut that c**p down pretty quickly. I have recommended that to women that did not have a miscarriage but were just sick of the prying.

This seems like an ok time to say, don't forget your child free friends this mother's and fathers days. I try to always at least send them a text congratulating them on another year of being child free, living their life the way they want, and enduring the comments of pushy family members who still haven't given up on saying one day you will want kids. I encourage them to keep enjoying their child free lifestyle without guilt, and to send me new pet pics soon.

Some say, "shut her down" or "tell her off". Depending on the person suffering the trauma, it's not always easy to share something so painful.

You are allowed to have your reality acknowledged. If you need support, you are allowed to seek out those who will provide it.

Are you sure about this with your parents? ADHD/depression are definitely genetic. One or both parents may be undiagnosed, or in denial. I didn’t get diagnosed until my 40s. Are they supportive of you? If not, please know that you are not alone and that there is help. Are you school age?

Been there. Medication really helped, as did finding a good therapist. Unfortunately, both of those things took a lot of effort. Took me years to do it.

As a father with an 18yr daughter who has ASD - please see a clinical psychologist as soon as you can. Women are notoriously poorly diagnosed when it comes to mental health. For years we were told that my daughter had social anxiety and that she would grow out of it. The right counsellor and a good psychologist, we now know what is going on for her and how to get her the best help. Please see a psychologist, if only to understand what is causing this for you.

Sorry for the ignorance but undiagnosed ADHD is what? If you've been diagnosed with the others but whomever did the diagnosis didn't agree with your assessment of ADHD then surely you don't have it (assumingny that they are medical professionals)?

This is me most days. It’s so difficult not to keep asking myself why I didn’t get to have a childhood. 🥺

Yup. The healing took me a long time and I still have moments of struggle. Dad, I pray you break the cycle before it is too late!

Mood. I was lucky that I had frequent visits to my grandparents. I got to be a child, and they actually taught me useful day to day skills like dusting, ironing, vacuuming, gardening, etc, so I had a decent chance of living a decent life. I don't think my mom knows most of those skills yet, even though she makes half an attempt occasionally.

I get you. I grew up in a household with a father that was a ticking time bomb. I felt I had to smooth over any issues so that he would be happy and calm. I’d never thought about. How that made me I to this person I am today where I feel I have to fix everyone’s problems, until reading this. Wow, breakthrough moment.

This one hit me hard 😪

This is me and I learned to cut people out of my life who drained me. I was always the peacekeeper. I'm the only person in my family who talks to everyone else. I'm tired of their trauma dumping. I really had to put up boundaries because people want to manipulate you into taking their side over someone else's, and I am just trying to live my life and not get wrapped up in all the chaos.

Maybe talk to a therapist.

This was my dad, until it got to the point that it was killing him. Even after his death, I doubt his friends know it was anything more than old age.

maybe override your fathers choice, and tell people.