“Are You A Girl?”: Woman Goes After A Boy In The Women’s Bathroom, Is Surprised It Backfires
Kids in public spaces can be a lot. Sometimes it’s because they’re loud and upset and other times it’s their inexhaustible energy bank that makes them run around in circles. Either way, they can be annoying. But can you really do anything about it as a stranger?
In the following story, the author got annoyed because a boy, for some reason, was in the women’s bathroom. She thought that was wrong so she didn’t hesitate to interfere. However, she didn’t get the reaction she expected from everyone else. In fact, it only landed her in trouble. Scroll down to see what happened and whether the Am I the [Jerk] community justified her actions.
Rambunctious children in public places can be quite a nuisance for those trying to enjoy the calm of being out and about
Image credits: OleksandrShcherban (not the actual image)
However, sometimes, just like in the following story, it’s the grown ups that cause a scene and not the children
Image credits: varyapigu (not the actual image)
Image credits: bananalals
The mom might have been just trying to keep her son safe
While we can’t be certain of the reasons behind the mother’s decision to bring the boy to the ladies’ restroom, we can presume it might be because she was trying to keep him safe.
One might think that it is a little overbearing as the kid is already 10 years old. However, public bathrooms are not be as safe as one might assume. In fact, there are multiple cases of minors getting assaulted in restrooms, with their parents waiting just outside the door. The kids in some of those cases are even older than 10.
Sure, the situation is a little different when it’s the parent using the bathroom and the child is waiting outside the restroom. In this case, the child is not left in a vulnerable position when they have to relieve themselves. Still, this can be problematic. Letting your kid out of your earshot for a few minutes might lead to them wandering off and getting lost or meeting someone who wants to take advantage of them. Whatever the reason, it’s understandable for the parent to want to keep them close.
The author overstepped by yelling at the child
Attacking a child who was simply standing by the sink and not causing any trouble is a gross overreaction. Yes, one might be curious why the child is there, but cussing them out is simply not the course of action you should take. After all, they’re a child. Maybe they are hiding in the bathroom because they are scared of someone outside. Maybe they are looking for their mom. Maybe they need help.
If you do think a child might be in trouble, ask them about it. Ask if they know where their parents are. They might let you know if something has gone wrong. However, also remember that majority of kids will have been instructed to avoid strangers, so don’t get offended if they don’t want to talk to you.
In any case, don’t just shout at them. Be kind and understanding, especially if they are not being disruptive. They are human beings after all.
Many thought that the author was very much in the wrong here
She left the restaurant because she "didn't want to cause a scene" but was perfectly fine with causing a scene with a 10 year old. Very selective in her scenes.
I love she failed to retract to make it sound like it was her choice to leave after she stated she was kicked out. Sounds like she was ready to go crazy on the owner, too. Yikes. Surprised she has a friend at all.
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What if a grown man helps his mom who can't walk to the loo? Personally Idgaf we can make gender neutral bathrooms, so we would suddenly have double the public toilets for everyone.
Seriously, OP is TA. I (F) don't care who's on the toilet, we are all there to shît, so why does it matter? Also, this little boy could have just as well been a young trans girl, and the OP would have done a lot of damage to the kids mental health by acting so aggressive and causing a scene.
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What a nut. I was in the bathroom the other day and a lady came in with a mentally handicapped adult male. I just smiled and went about my business, but my first thought was to wonder if anyone was going to make it a problem. Thankfully no one did. People have to work with what is available, so just be kind, it's not hard.
What made her think she had the right to yell at someone else's child?
This is what makes her a really bully! If an an adult has a problem with something a child is doing, then they should have a quiet word with the parent and let the parent deal with it. Yelling at some else's child is just so wrong.
Load More Replies... The OP proved that the child needs their parent when going to the bathroom because they are one of the weirdos that kids need to be worried about.
Excellent answer. That’s where the real scary stuff resides…in their sick minds!
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We need the MYTA category (mega) for this one. It shows a lot about where her mind is if she thinks an innocent kid will do anything. It's the kid who's more likely to be unsafe here, because even though she didn't physically harm him, she yelled at him and that could freak the poor kid out, who's just trying to go to the loo.
Agreed. If I were the friend I'd be asking why she's so concerned about a 10 year old boy being in the ladies toilet.
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MASSIVE YTA!!! I took my sons in the restroom with me for a long time because I didn't want my children alone in a room with adults. If some crazy woman had yelled at my CHILD to get out of the restroom I would have come out swinging. Who the flock do you think you are?! If you are such a man-hater and so transphobic that you have to police the bathroom, then you have some serious Freudian issues to work out. You literally sexualized a 10yo child. Gross.
In what reality is it considered okay to yell at someone else's prepubescent kid for being in a bathroom? Nobody even batted an eye at that when I was young, and (surprise!) nothing bad ever happened to or because of the youngster in the "wrong" restroom. This whole "bathroom policing" movement is going way too far...
If you legitimately concerned that he was in the wrong bathroom you could, I dunno, ASK? "Young man, this is the ladies' restroom. Did you come in here by mistake? Are you waiting for someone?" The whole point of having a different standard for kids is 1) immediate need means regular rules might not apply, 2) they don't know better, 3) they need a chance to learn better. In any of those cases, YTA not just for yelling at the kid, but for IMMEDIATELY yelling at the KID.
I totally get your point, first though, think it through, could there be a reason? Remember when we were taught to automatically do that, think before we speak? Then, if still perplexed, calmly ask a simple question for further explanation. But I’ll go you one better, take in the situation, examine said situation for any signs of real life logical danger that a child standing quietly in a restroom could possibly be fraught with, things like is he packing what looks to you like a weapon, has gang signs tattooed on his face, is he wearing a bandana, does he look like a foreigner? I’m kidding you you complete fool - those are stereotypes. The answer is…for once in your miserable pathetic life just walk away & MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS. Your paranoia & conspiracy theories & “beliefs” in no way give you any “rights” to ask that child anything. Honestly, few care what you believe.
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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I have actually felt uncomfortable and/or startled when I walked into a women's bathroom and saw an older boy there (older than about 7 makes me a little uncomfortable). My response is either to walk out and wait until later, or just live with my feelings and use the bathroom anyway. I think my feelings in that case are my own issue to deal with.
I'll go out on a limb here and say that's fine. You have discomfort, acknowledge it may not be the most popular opinion, and admit that it is your problem to deal with, not someone else's. Thank you for not making your issues with changing social norms someone else's problem
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Back in the 90's, while at uni, I used to go to the pub once a week with a small group of students plus a small group of teens from a local home - so they could have a bit of a teenage experience. We would drink shandy, play pool and get chips on the way home. So that's how I found myself on my knees in a male toilet (I'm female) trying to fix the zipper of a lad with down syndrome while he panicked when 2 large bicker guys came in. They took in the situation, and then took over helping, like actual adults. Lots of people are good, it's a shame people like the OP tend to be rather loud.
As one commenter said, this child may have been on the spectrum, or could be deaf or disabled in some other way. Ten years is still pretty vulnerable, IMO.
All you needed to do was say "This is the ladies, hon, do you need some help?" If the kid looked like they might be lost. They could have been trans, they could have been a girl who dresses in a more masc style, they could have been following parental instructions, or accompanying mum. Or they could have just walked into the wrong restroom, and they're looking around wondering where the urinals are. It's not your business, and you shouldn't be yelling at a child anyway. If someone isn't violating the standard restroom ettiquette that applies across genders, why do you care what they have in their underpants? Totally YTA.
honestly, as long as the toilets are private stalls than who gives a f**k who's in there? you've got your privacy in the stall, just do your business and gtfo. we're all just there for exactly that, despite what some crazy people think, it's fairly unlikely that you're going to be assaulted in a public bathroom in a busy public place.
Gosh and at 26, her brain is supposedly fully grown, sad. :( Any ‘normal’ person would’ve either ignored the kid or asked if they were waiting/looking for a parent, I think.
Not every place has a family restroom. This lady is seriously unhinged. Don't yell at other people's kids unless it's an emergency (like "hey get out of the road, cars can't see you!").
What is it with bathrooms in the USA? I don’t get it. I once walked in a bathroom at a concert venue, here in Germany. Two women came out of it as the queue for the women’s was unbelievably long. I shrugged and went myself like any other reasonable adult would do…
I'm guilty of using an empty men's room when the line for the ladies room was awful. I'd do it again, but never to inconvenience someone who should have first dibs (males) to the men's room
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Just another loser brave enough to yell at a small child but turns into a coward when confronted by an adult...
She's TA 1000x. What was the boy doing? Nothing. I see parents taking their young sons into the girl's room many times because they don't have anyone else to watch them and don't want something happening to them. I've seen fathers taking their young daughter's into the men's room because they're child needs help and the dad can't go into the women's room. It's not the most comfortable thing for everyone, but at the end of the day nature calls and the kids are supervised. The OP sounded like she was about to rumble with the owner, too, then changed her mind to just leave, then make it sound like it was her choice to leave. How is she not understanding she's in the wrong after typing all that out? This may be a fake one, but I gotta say it's not the first time I've heard of women kicking a child out of the women's washrooms.
Woman really wanted to yell, "get out NOW, or I'll call a republican!!"
Soooo very well put! Cracked me up! Better yet, it’s the damn truth! 😁 So very much concern for OPPP’s, (Other People’s Pee Pee’s). 🥕🍑🍒🍆🦴🌮🦪🥜🥟🌰🍾🔩🪛🚿🛀🏻❤️🔥♋️🤤🤌🫴🏻🫦👨🏻🤝👨🏽 🫘🌭(I actually had to look these up, I’m pitifully out of touch!), where they evacuate & what they do with said Pee Pee’s in private. Seems like anyone that fixated could be called obsessive don’t you think? 🤔!
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The best AITA stories aren't just ones where everyone answers "Yup", but also points out that the OP is also a massive dumbass.
Go ahead and yell at my son and direct him to do something contrary to what I told him to do to keep him safe. They'd be throwing ME out of the restaurant. People have lost their damn minds.
I had a roommate who did this with her son up until 12-13, her worries where him being molested or kidnapped by weirdos, she had a very traumatic upbringing, so I didn’t question her motive and understood her.
Major a*****e. Stay home. You are not prepared to be a healthy member of society.
Not sure this is genuine as it reads like thinly disguised trollbait to start a pile-on about gender. The only real question is whether the perp is pro trans or right wing as the method's the same either way.
It could very well be a troll, however I’ve read enough similar stories to know that there is some truth in them to at least be called the “smoke” where there’s fire. Also, the fact that the sanctimonious religious right parrot these conspiracies & lies on the regular to besmirch the LGBTQ Community is proof enough I’d think.
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There's so many things wrong with this. Like it's perfectly in common for children to use the opposite sex bathroom if they are with such parent. Especially if the bathrooms are crowded/noisy/suspicious. If that boy had been somewhat older, it would start being a bit more weird, but still doesn't warrant shouting from a totally unknown person. How about talking politely with the mom if that bothers you so much?
In India it is common for little guys to go in the women's restroom, so the mom can help them with it, when a male isn't with them... I don't see what the big deal is. 🤷♀️
AITA posts are kinda getting old in my opinion, but when it's a YTA one it's admittedly kinda entertaining haha
Mildly cathartic seeing asses get grilled compared to the nta validation seeking posts
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The irony of these anti-trans a******s being the only cause of issues in bathrooms... If trans people are pedophiles (they're not) then why aren't these morons passing anti-religion laws because of all the assaults committed by pastors/fathers/etc? Or straight men? They just want to protect people, right?
My dad used to take me in the men's bathroom with him. More traumatizing to me than to anyone else I think. I have distinct early memories of those filthy places. What else is a parent supposed to do? If you don't feel safe leaving your children outside, you bring them in the bathroom with you regardless of age or gender. Some kids don't listen at all, even at 10, and will not stay put outside the bathroom door. He might have wandered off as soon as his mother left him. We don't know. Only his mother does and it was her judgment to bring him into a bathroom than leave him unsupervised and that needs to be respected.
(The Netherlands) The theaters and concert halls that I regularly visit have removed gender indications from the restrooms after the corona lockdown. The first time it was a bit strange to hand over toilet paper for the drop to a young woman standing with her bare buttocks in front of a urinal.
I do not think it would be wrong to ask politely - why are you in the ladies room? IF there was no one else in there. But if a stall is occupied and the person is not being a creep - then just go about your business with the stall door closed. ( Person might be assisting a disabled woman)
she was the AH. my son is disabled and likely will never get better. i am his main caregiver. guess where he goes to the bathroom when he has to go. yup, in the ladies, with me. bc he needs assistance and may always need assistance. for the rest of his life. im not putting me and my son at risk by taking him to the mens. other women can get over it.
my 9 year old goes to the womens restroom with me if my partners not with us because he has no sense of danger and will walk out with a stranger
Well, sadly you had better be prepared because yesterday’s “good protective parenting” is todays three alarm interrogation & parent shamming if you dare to say “eff off & don’t you dare question my child & I owe you NO explanations!”
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My parents separated when I was very young, so when dad took us swimming, I went with him to the men's changing room and it was never a problem. I didn't feel unsafe with all the men around and then didn't seem to care much about me. Well... until I was around 10-11 and hit puberty (I was an early bloomer) and had a child body but with breasts. I could tell it made grown f*****g men uncomfortable to have me there, so I started going alone to the women's even if I was a little scared to be there by myself. Never did worry, and still don't, about boys in there though. I might question it internally if the guy is like, twenty and seems capable to handle himself. But a body is a body and I don't know everything so as long as he minds his business and I mind mine, idgaf.
I have a 9 year old daughter who has unknown disabilities at this time god bless her is so very kind and loving but she too trusting even though we try telling her not to be so she has be watched in loos by her dad as I have my own health issues
This is absolutely normal. Now, one time my Aunt and I went to see a movie and went to the bathroom and there was a GROWN man in there, and we both paused, but before we could say anything, he goes "Hey, I'm so sorry to be in here, my wife's pregnant and she's not feeling well" and we heard a meek "Sorry..." from the stall he was in front of. So we were both like "OOOOh, okay. Carry on" xD
I'm going to get downvoted but I honestly would be very uncomfortable. Not that yelling at the child was the right solution, though. Maybe talk to his parents, or just wait to use the bathroom.
What part of “10 year old kid” “not causing trouble” and “mind your own damn business” flew right over your head? YOU would be “very uncomfortable”? That’s a you problem. Why do you have to “talk to their parents? So you can get all butt hurt & self-righteous when mom says “I needed to take a pee which is none of your business you fool?” & refuses to answer your petty questions. Besides, just where did you check into this life that guaranteed you’d never have to feel “very uncomfortable” cuz I want my money back!
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Wow. Where was she when they tried to teach her normal social interaction? In her private bathroom?
As much as I hate to say it, I can very much believe this happened in an American public bathroom. This is the latest ridiculous fascination that our religious right conservatives have made up & prophesied horror stories about in the “save our children” bias, which is nothing more than a tool to disparage the LGBTQ Community even though such association is unfounded. Mostly geared for the MAGA cult because it’s a popular theme, simplistic & used repeatedly. Like most people who lack intellectual capacity &/or education, they are easily titillated by tall tales & sexual perversity, nauseatingly most of which involve children. A simple fact is that many modern industrialized countries around the world have had mixed gender restrooms forever. There are no reports or statistics to show any of the issues these fools believe in.
She didn't tell her friend what she'd done. She knew she was the AH, just testing the waters to see if it might float in the future.
One time I entered the ladies room and a fully grown man was in front of the mirror finishing up. Due to me inadvertently entering men's rooms without thinking, I just smiled and let him know he was in the ladies room. I know he felt bad, nothing else, no escalation was required or necessary. OP has some sort of serious problem if she freaks out at a young kid being in a restroom with his mom.
She makes a great effort to conceal what and for how long she shouted at the kid. She could have apologised and defused the situation a bit, but clearly didn't do that either. I doubt the owner kicked her out just for shouting at a kid either. I bet she made a stink.Damn terfs and their freakish hate cult.
So much of this s**t could be solved in they build stalls to the floor and without a huge gap around the doors on stalls.
Guess what. Nobody is looking in those gaps. If someone needs to check for occupancy, they look below. The general public doesn't want to see you in that situation just as much as you don't want them looking. The gaps are only a big deal to those who don't understand that they aren't a big deal.
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Up until a certain age, small children are ushered into whichever lavatory their parents go to. Period. A toddler or even slightly older child, should not, for many reasons, go alone. This OP needs meds, STAT.
It would be different if the kid was trying to sneak a peek under the stall, but it seemed like he was well behaved, just waiting for his mother. I don't like kids, but I wouldn't start yelling at one for no reason.
Coming out of the ladies' at Walmart, I encountered a worried-looking young dad with his daughter. His choices? Send her into the ladies' by herself or take her into the men's. It was clear neither choice was acceptable to him. I told him the ladies' was empty, and that I would stand outside the door until they came out. When they did, I showed him where the 'family' rest room was for future reference. (At the time, it was halfway across the store from the regular rest rooms. From the dance his daughter was doing, I didn't think they'd make it.)
I don't think OP should have said anything to the kid. But holy cow. People are like, "Do you think a little kid is supposed to go to the bathroom by themselves?" Why yes. I think a 10 yo is potty trained and capable of going to the bathroom by themselves. What 10 yo wants his Mom to go with him to the bathroom?
i must have been raised in a different generation, because at 10, i definitely knew better than to be in a womans bathroom. and at that time, i knew that for ages. so..... NTA, really.
Op is not an AH. OP had a reaction to the situation and decided that a child standing quietly in a bathroom was a legitimate reason to say something to them. They were totally justified in screaming at a helpless little child. A child who was likely just as uncomfortable as if OP had gotten up on the table, dropped trousers and squeezed out a steaming, corn filled dump onto their friends lunch plate and then mushed their friends face in it. op transcended AH. OP decided that being an AH was below them and they went for full on Raging Psycho Biatch. that kid is going to have flashbacks about that for the rest of his life and will always wonder if he did something wrong regardless of what anyone else will tell him. I wish OP a lifetime of constant acid reflux and the inability to tell the difference between when they have to fart and when they have to poo.
YTA. Though at 10 years he should not really have problems going by himself, there is no reason to yell at a child like that.
It’s not that he probably needs help, it’s to keep an eye on him. There are enough reports of children being hassled in male toilets when they one their own that I’d take my nephew with me until he was 11 in theme parks. And to clarify after reading some comments further down, it would be in separate cubicles, they deserve their privacy too.
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this just has to be a fake story again. in the morning in a local restaurant this woman, a boy, his mother and several other women are all in the local restaurant bathroom... and who on am i the a*****e ever admits to immediately yelling at a little boy if they dont want to be called the a*****e. and to all the people saying a ten year old boy cant go to the toilet by himself and should go with his mommy to the toilet im also baffled. at age 10 i was old enough to be embarrassed if my mom would treat me like that and just take care of myself.
You’re reading way too much into this & missing the point. First, any story you ever read online could possibly be made up, you’re not going to win any contests with your guess. Stop reading them if the possibility they are not true bothers you. No one knows all the particulars. It’s just a scenario that’s relevant by the topics which are trending. Point: IF it were true, does a women have the right to start yelling questions at a child that is NOT HER CHILD, scare the hell out of him, possibly traumatize him for life, when he’s not doing anything noticeably wrong, just because she’s uncomfortable (definition: a nosy bit€h who thinks she has some “I’m more righteous than thou” free pass from God to demand answers anytime she needs attention by making a scene. She doesn’t.) & apparently someone assured her she was exempt… from uncomfortable. Rather simple.
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So can you still say the same if the 10 yr old boy has health problems? What about invisible ones? No, he's not a baby, but he might be the type if kid you shouldn't have out of your sight for long. (i.e. epileptic, oppositional defiance, etc.) Honestly, ask yourself what kind of harm is a 10 yr old going to do to you?? "Omg they might hear me pass gas or rustle a feminine product wrapper!" *clutches pearls*
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You don't really read the news or comments on posts, do you?
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This is OP's guess of the age, and it's obvious she doesn't know anything about kids. For all we know this was a tall six-year-old. Regardless, we don't know this kid, his needs, or those of his family. He wasn't doing anything but existing.
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Then he's also too old for watching his mom pee.
Load More Replies... She left the restaurant because she "didn't want to cause a scene" but was perfectly fine with causing a scene with a 10 year old. Very selective in her scenes.
I love she failed to retract to make it sound like it was her choice to leave after she stated she was kicked out. Sounds like she was ready to go crazy on the owner, too. Yikes. Surprised she has a friend at all.
Load More Replies... What if a grown man helps his mom who can't walk to the loo? Personally Idgaf we can make gender neutral bathrooms, so we would suddenly have double the public toilets for everyone.
Seriously, OP is TA. I (F) don't care who's on the toilet, we are all there to shît, so why does it matter? Also, this little boy could have just as well been a young trans girl, and the OP would have done a lot of damage to the kids mental health by acting so aggressive and causing a scene.
Load More Replies... What a nut. I was in the bathroom the other day and a lady came in with a mentally handicapped adult male. I just smiled and went about my business, but my first thought was to wonder if anyone was going to make it a problem. Thankfully no one did. People have to work with what is available, so just be kind, it's not hard.
What made her think she had the right to yell at someone else's child?
This is what makes her a really bully! If an an adult has a problem with something a child is doing, then they should have a quiet word with the parent and let the parent deal with it. Yelling at some else's child is just so wrong.
Load More Replies... The OP proved that the child needs their parent when going to the bathroom because they are one of the weirdos that kids need to be worried about.
Excellent answer. That’s where the real scary stuff resides…in their sick minds!
Load More Replies... We need the MYTA category (mega) for this one. It shows a lot about where her mind is if she thinks an innocent kid will do anything. It's the kid who's more likely to be unsafe here, because even though she didn't physically harm him, she yelled at him and that could freak the poor kid out, who's just trying to go to the loo.
Agreed. If I were the friend I'd be asking why she's so concerned about a 10 year old boy being in the ladies toilet.
Load More Replies... MASSIVE YTA!!! I took my sons in the restroom with me for a long time because I didn't want my children alone in a room with adults. If some crazy woman had yelled at my CHILD to get out of the restroom I would have come out swinging. Who the flock do you think you are?! If you are such a man-hater and so transphobic that you have to police the bathroom, then you have some serious Freudian issues to work out. You literally sexualized a 10yo child. Gross.
In what reality is it considered okay to yell at someone else's prepubescent kid for being in a bathroom? Nobody even batted an eye at that when I was young, and (surprise!) nothing bad ever happened to or because of the youngster in the "wrong" restroom. This whole "bathroom policing" movement is going way too far...
If you legitimately concerned that he was in the wrong bathroom you could, I dunno, ASK? "Young man, this is the ladies' restroom. Did you come in here by mistake? Are you waiting for someone?" The whole point of having a different standard for kids is 1) immediate need means regular rules might not apply, 2) they don't know better, 3) they need a chance to learn better. In any of those cases, YTA not just for yelling at the kid, but for IMMEDIATELY yelling at the KID.
I totally get your point, first though, think it through, could there be a reason? Remember when we were taught to automatically do that, think before we speak? Then, if still perplexed, calmly ask a simple question for further explanation. But I’ll go you one better, take in the situation, examine said situation for any signs of real life logical danger that a child standing quietly in a restroom could possibly be fraught with, things like is he packing what looks to you like a weapon, has gang signs tattooed on his face, is he wearing a bandana, does he look like a foreigner? I’m kidding you you complete fool - those are stereotypes. The answer is…for once in your miserable pathetic life just walk away & MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS. Your paranoia & conspiracy theories & “beliefs” in no way give you any “rights” to ask that child anything. Honestly, few care what you believe.
Load More Replies... I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I have actually felt uncomfortable and/or startled when I walked into a women's bathroom and saw an older boy there (older than about 7 makes me a little uncomfortable). My response is either to walk out and wait until later, or just live with my feelings and use the bathroom anyway. I think my feelings in that case are my own issue to deal with.
I'll go out on a limb here and say that's fine. You have discomfort, acknowledge it may not be the most popular opinion, and admit that it is your problem to deal with, not someone else's. Thank you for not making your issues with changing social norms someone else's problem
Load More Replies... Back in the 90's, while at uni, I used to go to the pub once a week with a small group of students plus a small group of teens from a local home - so they could have a bit of a teenage experience. We would drink shandy, play pool and get chips on the way home. So that's how I found myself on my knees in a male toilet (I'm female) trying to fix the zipper of a lad with down syndrome while he panicked when 2 large bicker guys came in. They took in the situation, and then took over helping, like actual adults. Lots of people are good, it's a shame people like the OP tend to be rather loud.
As one commenter said, this child may have been on the spectrum, or could be deaf or disabled in some other way. Ten years is still pretty vulnerable, IMO.
All you needed to do was say "This is the ladies, hon, do you need some help?" If the kid looked like they might be lost. They could have been trans, they could have been a girl who dresses in a more masc style, they could have been following parental instructions, or accompanying mum. Or they could have just walked into the wrong restroom, and they're looking around wondering where the urinals are. It's not your business, and you shouldn't be yelling at a child anyway. If someone isn't violating the standard restroom ettiquette that applies across genders, why do you care what they have in their underpants? Totally YTA.
honestly, as long as the toilets are private stalls than who gives a f**k who's in there? you've got your privacy in the stall, just do your business and gtfo. we're all just there for exactly that, despite what some crazy people think, it's fairly unlikely that you're going to be assaulted in a public bathroom in a busy public place.
Gosh and at 26, her brain is supposedly fully grown, sad. :( Any ‘normal’ person would’ve either ignored the kid or asked if they were waiting/looking for a parent, I think.
Not every place has a family restroom. This lady is seriously unhinged. Don't yell at other people's kids unless it's an emergency (like "hey get out of the road, cars can't see you!").
What is it with bathrooms in the USA? I don’t get it. I once walked in a bathroom at a concert venue, here in Germany. Two women came out of it as the queue for the women’s was unbelievably long. I shrugged and went myself like any other reasonable adult would do…
I'm guilty of using an empty men's room when the line for the ladies room was awful. I'd do it again, but never to inconvenience someone who should have first dibs (males) to the men's room
Load More Replies... Just another loser brave enough to yell at a small child but turns into a coward when confronted by an adult...
She's TA 1000x. What was the boy doing? Nothing. I see parents taking their young sons into the girl's room many times because they don't have anyone else to watch them and don't want something happening to them. I've seen fathers taking their young daughter's into the men's room because they're child needs help and the dad can't go into the women's room. It's not the most comfortable thing for everyone, but at the end of the day nature calls and the kids are supervised. The OP sounded like she was about to rumble with the owner, too, then changed her mind to just leave, then make it sound like it was her choice to leave. How is she not understanding she's in the wrong after typing all that out? This may be a fake one, but I gotta say it's not the first time I've heard of women kicking a child out of the women's washrooms.
Woman really wanted to yell, "get out NOW, or I'll call a republican!!"
Soooo very well put! Cracked me up! Better yet, it’s the damn truth! 😁 So very much concern for OPPP’s, (Other People’s Pee Pee’s). 🥕🍑🍒🍆🦴🌮🦪🥜🥟🌰🍾🔩🪛🚿🛀🏻❤️🔥♋️🤤🤌🫴🏻🫦👨🏻🤝👨🏽 🫘🌭(I actually had to look these up, I’m pitifully out of touch!), where they evacuate & what they do with said Pee Pee’s in private. Seems like anyone that fixated could be called obsessive don’t you think? 🤔!
Load More Replies... The best AITA stories aren't just ones where everyone answers "Yup", but also points out that the OP is also a massive dumbass.
Go ahead and yell at my son and direct him to do something contrary to what I told him to do to keep him safe. They'd be throwing ME out of the restaurant. People have lost their damn minds.
I had a roommate who did this with her son up until 12-13, her worries where him being molested or kidnapped by weirdos, she had a very traumatic upbringing, so I didn’t question her motive and understood her.
Major a*****e. Stay home. You are not prepared to be a healthy member of society.
Not sure this is genuine as it reads like thinly disguised trollbait to start a pile-on about gender. The only real question is whether the perp is pro trans or right wing as the method's the same either way.
It could very well be a troll, however I’ve read enough similar stories to know that there is some truth in them to at least be called the “smoke” where there’s fire. Also, the fact that the sanctimonious religious right parrot these conspiracies & lies on the regular to besmirch the LGBTQ Community is proof enough I’d think.
Load More Replies... There's so many things wrong with this. Like it's perfectly in common for children to use the opposite sex bathroom if they are with such parent. Especially if the bathrooms are crowded/noisy/suspicious. If that boy had been somewhat older, it would start being a bit more weird, but still doesn't warrant shouting from a totally unknown person. How about talking politely with the mom if that bothers you so much?
In India it is common for little guys to go in the women's restroom, so the mom can help them with it, when a male isn't with them... I don't see what the big deal is. 🤷♀️
AITA posts are kinda getting old in my opinion, but when it's a YTA one it's admittedly kinda entertaining haha
Mildly cathartic seeing asses get grilled compared to the nta validation seeking posts
Load More Replies... The irony of these anti-trans a******s being the only cause of issues in bathrooms... If trans people are pedophiles (they're not) then why aren't these morons passing anti-religion laws because of all the assaults committed by pastors/fathers/etc? Or straight men? They just want to protect people, right?
My dad used to take me in the men's bathroom with him. More traumatizing to me than to anyone else I think. I have distinct early memories of those filthy places. What else is a parent supposed to do? If you don't feel safe leaving your children outside, you bring them in the bathroom with you regardless of age or gender. Some kids don't listen at all, even at 10, and will not stay put outside the bathroom door. He might have wandered off as soon as his mother left him. We don't know. Only his mother does and it was her judgment to bring him into a bathroom than leave him unsupervised and that needs to be respected.
(The Netherlands) The theaters and concert halls that I regularly visit have removed gender indications from the restrooms after the corona lockdown. The first time it was a bit strange to hand over toilet paper for the drop to a young woman standing with her bare buttocks in front of a urinal.
I do not think it would be wrong to ask politely - why are you in the ladies room? IF there was no one else in there. But if a stall is occupied and the person is not being a creep - then just go about your business with the stall door closed. ( Person might be assisting a disabled woman)
she was the AH. my son is disabled and likely will never get better. i am his main caregiver. guess where he goes to the bathroom when he has to go. yup, in the ladies, with me. bc he needs assistance and may always need assistance. for the rest of his life. im not putting me and my son at risk by taking him to the mens. other women can get over it.
my 9 year old goes to the womens restroom with me if my partners not with us because he has no sense of danger and will walk out with a stranger
Well, sadly you had better be prepared because yesterday’s “good protective parenting” is todays three alarm interrogation & parent shamming if you dare to say “eff off & don’t you dare question my child & I owe you NO explanations!”
Load More Replies... My parents separated when I was very young, so when dad took us swimming, I went with him to the men's changing room and it was never a problem. I didn't feel unsafe with all the men around and then didn't seem to care much about me. Well... until I was around 10-11 and hit puberty (I was an early bloomer) and had a child body but with breasts. I could tell it made grown f*****g men uncomfortable to have me there, so I started going alone to the women's even if I was a little scared to be there by myself. Never did worry, and still don't, about boys in there though. I might question it internally if the guy is like, twenty and seems capable to handle himself. But a body is a body and I don't know everything so as long as he minds his business and I mind mine, idgaf.
I have a 9 year old daughter who has unknown disabilities at this time god bless her is so very kind and loving but she too trusting even though we try telling her not to be so she has be watched in loos by her dad as I have my own health issues
This is absolutely normal. Now, one time my Aunt and I went to see a movie and went to the bathroom and there was a GROWN man in there, and we both paused, but before we could say anything, he goes "Hey, I'm so sorry to be in here, my wife's pregnant and she's not feeling well" and we heard a meek "Sorry..." from the stall he was in front of. So we were both like "OOOOh, okay. Carry on" xD
I'm going to get downvoted but I honestly would be very uncomfortable. Not that yelling at the child was the right solution, though. Maybe talk to his parents, or just wait to use the bathroom.
What part of “10 year old kid” “not causing trouble” and “mind your own damn business” flew right over your head? YOU would be “very uncomfortable”? That’s a you problem. Why do you have to “talk to their parents? So you can get all butt hurt & self-righteous when mom says “I needed to take a pee which is none of your business you fool?” & refuses to answer your petty questions. Besides, just where did you check into this life that guaranteed you’d never have to feel “very uncomfortable” cuz I want my money back!
Load More Replies... Wow. Where was she when they tried to teach her normal social interaction? In her private bathroom?
As much as I hate to say it, I can very much believe this happened in an American public bathroom. This is the latest ridiculous fascination that our religious right conservatives have made up & prophesied horror stories about in the “save our children” bias, which is nothing more than a tool to disparage the LGBTQ Community even though such association is unfounded. Mostly geared for the MAGA cult because it’s a popular theme, simplistic & used repeatedly. Like most people who lack intellectual capacity &/or education, they are easily titillated by tall tales & sexual perversity, nauseatingly most of which involve children. A simple fact is that many modern industrialized countries around the world have had mixed gender restrooms forever. There are no reports or statistics to show any of the issues these fools believe in.
She didn't tell her friend what she'd done. She knew she was the AH, just testing the waters to see if it might float in the future.
One time I entered the ladies room and a fully grown man was in front of the mirror finishing up. Due to me inadvertently entering men's rooms without thinking, I just smiled and let him know he was in the ladies room. I know he felt bad, nothing else, no escalation was required or necessary. OP has some sort of serious problem if she freaks out at a young kid being in a restroom with his mom.
She makes a great effort to conceal what and for how long she shouted at the kid. She could have apologised and defused the situation a bit, but clearly didn't do that either. I doubt the owner kicked her out just for shouting at a kid either. I bet she made a stink.Damn terfs and their freakish hate cult.
So much of this s**t could be solved in they build stalls to the floor and without a huge gap around the doors on stalls.
Guess what. Nobody is looking in those gaps. If someone needs to check for occupancy, they look below. The general public doesn't want to see you in that situation just as much as you don't want them looking. The gaps are only a big deal to those who don't understand that they aren't a big deal.
Load More Replies... Up until a certain age, small children are ushered into whichever lavatory their parents go to. Period. A toddler or even slightly older child, should not, for many reasons, go alone. This OP needs meds, STAT.
It would be different if the kid was trying to sneak a peek under the stall, but it seemed like he was well behaved, just waiting for his mother. I don't like kids, but I wouldn't start yelling at one for no reason.
Coming out of the ladies' at Walmart, I encountered a worried-looking young dad with his daughter. His choices? Send her into the ladies' by herself or take her into the men's. It was clear neither choice was acceptable to him. I told him the ladies' was empty, and that I would stand outside the door until they came out. When they did, I showed him where the 'family' rest room was for future reference. (At the time, it was halfway across the store from the regular rest rooms. From the dance his daughter was doing, I didn't think they'd make it.)
I don't think OP should have said anything to the kid. But holy cow. People are like, "Do you think a little kid is supposed to go to the bathroom by themselves?" Why yes. I think a 10 yo is potty trained and capable of going to the bathroom by themselves. What 10 yo wants his Mom to go with him to the bathroom?
i must have been raised in a different generation, because at 10, i definitely knew better than to be in a womans bathroom. and at that time, i knew that for ages. so..... NTA, really.
Op is not an AH. OP had a reaction to the situation and decided that a child standing quietly in a bathroom was a legitimate reason to say something to them. They were totally justified in screaming at a helpless little child. A child who was likely just as uncomfortable as if OP had gotten up on the table, dropped trousers and squeezed out a steaming, corn filled dump onto their friends lunch plate and then mushed their friends face in it. op transcended AH. OP decided that being an AH was below them and they went for full on Raging Psycho Biatch. that kid is going to have flashbacks about that for the rest of his life and will always wonder if he did something wrong regardless of what anyone else will tell him. I wish OP a lifetime of constant acid reflux and the inability to tell the difference between when they have to fart and when they have to poo.
YTA. Though at 10 years he should not really have problems going by himself, there is no reason to yell at a child like that.
It’s not that he probably needs help, it’s to keep an eye on him. There are enough reports of children being hassled in male toilets when they one their own that I’d take my nephew with me until he was 11 in theme parks. And to clarify after reading some comments further down, it would be in separate cubicles, they deserve their privacy too.
Load More Replies... this just has to be a fake story again. in the morning in a local restaurant this woman, a boy, his mother and several other women are all in the local restaurant bathroom... and who on am i the a*****e ever admits to immediately yelling at a little boy if they dont want to be called the a*****e. and to all the people saying a ten year old boy cant go to the toilet by himself and should go with his mommy to the toilet im also baffled. at age 10 i was old enough to be embarrassed if my mom would treat me like that and just take care of myself.
You’re reading way too much into this & missing the point. First, any story you ever read online could possibly be made up, you’re not going to win any contests with your guess. Stop reading them if the possibility they are not true bothers you. No one knows all the particulars. It’s just a scenario that’s relevant by the topics which are trending. Point: IF it were true, does a women have the right to start yelling questions at a child that is NOT HER CHILD, scare the hell out of him, possibly traumatize him for life, when he’s not doing anything noticeably wrong, just because she’s uncomfortable (definition: a nosy bit€h who thinks she has some “I’m more righteous than thou” free pass from God to demand answers anytime she needs attention by making a scene. She doesn’t.) & apparently someone assured her she was exempt… from uncomfortable. Rather simple.
Load More Replies... So can you still say the same if the 10 yr old boy has health problems? What about invisible ones? No, he's not a baby, but he might be the type if kid you shouldn't have out of your sight for long. (i.e. epileptic, oppositional defiance, etc.) Honestly, ask yourself what kind of harm is a 10 yr old going to do to you?? "Omg they might hear me pass gas or rustle a feminine product wrapper!" *clutches pearls*
Load More Replies... You don't really read the news or comments on posts, do you?
Load More Replies... This is OP's guess of the age, and it's obvious she doesn't know anything about kids. For all we know this was a tall six-year-old. Regardless, we don't know this kid, his needs, or those of his family. He wasn't doing anything but existing.
Load More Replies... Then he's also too old for watching his mom pee.
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